More Dangerous Things by Heavenmetal
Of all the things Hatter expected the eccentric Queen of Hearts to do after he brutally murdered her personal advisor, keeping her word was the last.
She had her agents approach him; they knew of his "talents" they said. There were opportunities to be had for loyal individuals and all he had to do was reach out and grab it when it presented itself. It would come for him in the guise of an invite to the Queen's Opera and it would not knock twice.
He had done it. When it all came down to the break of a lifetime for snuffing out a stranger's life or to gutter out himself, he chose the cowardly path of survival. The bloody deed painted him as red as a Heart should be. The startled, horrified faces of the crowd backed away from him as though he were a wild animal until the Queen's shout drew the attention of all.
"Hatter, you will approach me at once!"
He expected her to use him as a scapegoat, to draw her full wrath upon him for the senseless killing and wash her hands of him. He approached with grim resolve until he stood face to face with the Queen of Hearts and all her terrible power. If she sentenced him to death now to divert any suspicion that she had planned this then he knew it would be what he deserved. He clenched his fist tightly, feeling the blood ooze through his fingers like sand through an hourglass that was ticking down the moments he had remaining with his head and neck still adjacent.
"We are much grieved by these events," she started, her mask appropriately both angry and bereaved.
"You poor lamb!" She caressed Hatter's cheek and he resisted the urge to flinch away from her, "How rude of him to mock you during your performance that he should drive you to such action."
She clucked her tongue in disapproval "To so disgrace a man in public, a man that we had just named to such an important position, no less… well, you were right to challenge him but in the future, you will ask permission of us before doing so. Is that clear?"
Hatter blinked in confused shock, "Yes, your majesty." He bowed, not having to try very hard to look ashamed of his actions. The crowd would misread it as chastisement in any case. The public record was now as the Queen had stated it: Time's death was the unfortunate outcome of a duel to defend Hatter's honor.
He could hardly look at her when she requested his presence after tea time. He was silent as she thanked him for his service and explained what his reward would be. She gave a pregnant pause, "Something is on your mind, and you may as well say it."
"I hope, Majesty, that I never have to do… that again."
She laughed, "Heavens! I should say not. You did make rather a mess of it, didn't you? No, I have someone else to take care of such duties. I think your talents are better served in running my tea shop."
That dark day had brought him to his position. He appraised the tea shop that would be his new home, livelihood and responsibility. An agent of the Queen explained to him the minutiae of the business.
"The deliveries are as regular as we can keep them depending on which teas are being harvested." The rotund fop droned on in a rather dull way, occasionally dabbing at the sweat on his brow. Hatter thought he looked rather like an egg in a suit. "On delivery days the shipments will be exactly at Brilling. Make sure there is someone to meet the shipment." The agent grabbed Hatter by the arm to make sure he was paying attention.
"All the proceeds and all the merchandise of this tea shop belongs to the Queen. She chose you because she thinks you have the skills to turn a bit of profit and the strength to protect it. I cannot stress this enough; she does not tolerate failure."
Hatter tugged his arm out of the agent's grasp. "Okay, Humpty. I get it."
Humpty gave him an affronted look, to which Hatter hurriedly added. "My apologies, Lord Dumpty."
He nodded, seemingly appeased and continued, "You will be kept up to date as to the values and rarity of the teas so that you may appropriately price them. You will keep a ledger so the Queen's accountants can review your overhead and general skill at business. In exchange, you will be granted a generous stipend for expenses and a personal allowance based on your shop's success in comparison with other shops in the city. You'll also need this."
Hatter took the parcel that was handed to him and opened it. Inside was a vest of body armor, indicting to him the serious nature of this business far better than this preening dandy could. "Not as nice as your cravat," Hatter commented, "but it'll do in a pinch."
The agent's round face was getting red and he looked about to go off like a cannon. Turning his nose up in pride and bravado, he said defensively, "I will inform you, sir, that this cravat was given to me personally by the Queen and King!"
"I see," Hatter said gravely, "were they angry at you?"
Humpty snorted in derision, stepping closer, "Running a tea shop is a privilege, one that seems to have fallen into your lap without merit. Though the queen has seen fit to raise you to the same position as I, do not think that we are in any way equals. It takes more than luck and circumstance to make a gentleman." He turned and stormed out of the shop, calling back as he did, "If I were you, I would start by getting a respectable hat!"