The darkness and silence would have overpowered the lonely shop if it weren't for the swirling lights and resounding wails of sirens. Something terrible has happened and for that, the world must accept its coming end.
Whispers and wonderings would distort the story. Gossips and newsmen and bloggers would spread it far and wide. And all but a handful would actually believe their amazing accounts of such whimsy beyond comprehension. A shopowner was missing, his store a disturbing mess. And - most importantly - the stories would say, someone had stolen a doughnut and now armageddon was upon us.
"Someone has stolen the Doughnut of Doom!" cried a strange woman in clothes terribly out of place. Doubt. Fascination. Horror. Lots and lots of blinking. For the woman had disappeared. No one could say what happened, exactly, for at the exact same moment a loud crack distracted them all. They looked up, they looked down, they looked sideways and they frowned. And then the men came and took their memories until only the most stubborn of modern story tellers could access it in their tinfoil protected minds.
Thus, a new urban legend was born. And thus, the planet's doom was forgotten. Forgotten but not gone. The Doughnut of Doom was still at large and it was up to the Wizarding World to stop it.
Harry Potter, the glorious hero who had died and rode a train back to the living, was on the case. He would be an auror, but for now, he was content bending the rules and almost breaking the law. After all, who would dare arrest the man that destroyed He Who Must Not Be Named (Unless In A Spiteful Way To Prove You Are Brave and Get In Someone's Pants)? Indeed, he had not only gotten free pints, treats and free just about anything. He most especially also received free doughnuts from the best doughnut shop in the world: Doughnut Disturb (Because it's like having sex, if you didn't understand our clever name!)
And now that his favorite store owner had gone missing, that meant no more doughnuts for him. Harry could not stand it. Indeed, he would not stand for it. He will not have a hole in his life where the doughnuts used to be. Well, not an even bigger non-doughnut hole hole, at least. And if he had to save the world to do it, then the world will just have to not end!
"I plan to sex you up and make lots of babies yet, Ginny, my darling." he told the crying Ginny "And we shall name them horrible names, as per your family's tradition!"
"Oh Harry!" she said "Let me help! I'm quite badarse with a wand!"
"Oh shut it, only your brother and Hermione can help me." Harry said "You may only help in an indirect way."
"Hmph. Well," she frowned and crossed her arms "Just you wait, Harry Potter, just you wait!" and she stormed off.
Harry stood there wondering what he was supposed to wait for. He had not the time nor the ability to guess (he absolutely sucked at Legilimency and Ginny wasn't looking into his eyes). And with a shrug and a flick of the wand, he decided that she was not coming back with a gift and disapparated to the scene of the crime.