PFM: my first Inu Yasha fic!
CG: chee!
Aken: if that's all that he can say, why bother keeping him?
PFM: cuz he's cute.
Aken: am I?
PFM and CG: ..................................................
Sydney: ehh...here's the info on the fic... ^_^;;;
Disclaimer: um...nope. don' own it.
Rating: in between PG and PG-13 I guess.
Genre: Tragedy/Romance
Spoilers: nope.
Archive: ok, um, what?
Review: please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Couples: Sesshoumaru/OC
Content: OOC, IoOC, thoughts of suicide, a little self-mutilation and some language
Summary: Sesshoumaru has wandered off, away from the estate he was temporarily living at, but he's followed. Why is he so distant and sad? And why does his pursuer care? And why do I suck at summaries so damned bad?! _
Song: Somewhere Someday
Artist: N*SYNC
PFM: I know-it's a boy band, but the song was just so perfect, and when I started thinking of the summary for this fic, I started to get all misty eyed and stuff and it was sad and, I also know that right now, I am listening to my Pokemon; The First Movie soundtrack, but, I don't care.
Aken: Pokemon and boy bands are way beneath you, Pop.
PFM: I know, but...well...there are people out there who still like Pokemon, right? And Digimon, and the songs on the soundtracks for their stuff are always so cool, I love them so!
Aken: you're a few corndogs short of a picnic.
PFM: yup. And proud of it. ^_^ This story is based on a some-what true event. See, several weeks ago, I was so depressed, and we thought it was just depression for years but it wasn't and when I was in the shower, I sliced myself apart cuz I was just so upset with, well, everything. But, there's a message here. The message is; there's always a better way then the one you think will end it all. Never think of death as a way out. Because it won't save you. trust me, I know.
Aken: so, what was it if it wasn't depression?
PFM: I was diagnosed bi-polar. ^_^
Aken: and you seem so proud of yourself... -_-:::
PFM: yup. Least now we know I'm not just defective like we'd originally figured. ^_^
Aken: oh, brother...
Sydney: here's the fic. ^_^;;;;
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Somehow, Someway...
By Pop Flower Millenium (were these 'magic grits'?! do the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove?!)
Song by N*SYNC
Sesshoumaru walked gracefully through the woods, he could feel the presence of another demon, but he didn't care. The demon could finish what he planned on starting. He sighed as he looked up at the treetops, he still lacked his left arm, he still lacked the Tetsuiga (PFM: is that how you spell that? Sydney: I don't know, I'm not from that anime. PFM: ok, sorry, geez...) and now, all he could think of was how he seemed to hurt everyone he came near. Even if he didn't want to. Two twins, Kumiho and Li, had found him (PFM: 'Li' pronounced with the long 'i' sound, not long 'e' sound. So his name sounds like the word 'lie'. He's one of my OC's.) then cared for by them and their younger brother, Hikaru. But he'd accidentally poisoned Li upon touching the half-breed on an open wound. Kumiho had said it was nothing, but Sesshoumaru couldn't stay. Li's full-demon twin sister was too forgiving of him. Hikaru, their human youngest brother, was an angel to all he came across, Sesshoumaru was afraid he'd hurt the gentle boy. He doubted he could ever stay near anyone without hurting them somehow. He doubted he deserved to live, and he doubted his own thoughts. They stung him too deeply for him to continue to concentrate on them.
When clouds above you start to pour
And all of your doubts rage like a storm
And you don't know who you are anymore
Let me help you find what you've been searching for
Kumiho hopped gracefully from tree to tree watching the elegant demon below her, she'd left Hikaru in the garden and Li in the are f several doctors to tend the poison. She knew what Sesshoumaru was thinking. She'd been there too. She'd thought only of her own faults when she'd found out Naraku had kidnapped Hikaru, she'd blamed herself and had thought of nothing but Hikaru until she met Sesshoumaru. Then she'd cried. She'd cried like she never had before when he finally got through to her that it wasn't her fault. She didn't want him to end up like she almost had. She thought he was too strong for that. She sighed as she thought of him sitting on the veranda, watching the sakura blossoms with a faint smile on his face, he hadn't cared then, why now? Why would he run from them now? Or was he running from himself too?
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a field in a river
*Somewhere* you can let your soul run free
*Someday* Someday let me be the giver
Let me bring you peace!
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a break in the weather
*Somewhere* Where the heart and spirit go free!
*Someday* Someday it'll be for the better.
Let this bring you peace!
He came to a fallen tree and stopped. She watched from above, he turned around and sat on the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. Kumiho gasped, he was crying. Why? For what reason would the strongest demon she knew sit and cry like a child? She slowly and silently slipped down out of the tree, moving towards him, but keeping hidden, wondering silently whether she should help him, or let him battle his own ghosts.
He raised his head and looked around, he sighed, of course no one had come for him. They were too busy helping Li through the illness he had caused. He wondered whether he should die here, or go back there and face them. His right hand made that decision for him as it slowly gripped the handle of the blade Hikaru had given him as a token of gratitude for helping him with some work, he pulled the knife out of its scabbard and looked fixedly at the blade, letting out a ragged and wavering sigh, pushing out all of his pain and anguish.
She wiped at her eyes a bit and leaned heavily against a tree, he was always standing so tall and proud. He always walked with pride in his strides, spoke as though it all made sense, he fought so professionally, he listened when she spoke to him, he walked with the children of the servants and allowed them to play with his long hair, she'd always thought of him as perfect but, he hid a sadness. A sadness that was masked by a cruel and careless demeanor. She'd noticed it right away. She'd seen the burden he carried. She'd wanted to be there when he let the walls drop, but not like this. Not this way.
Girl I know you think no one sees
The weight on your shoulders
But you can't fool me
And aren't you tired of standing so tall
Let me be the one to catch you when you fall
He brought the blade up to the side of his face and ran it slowly down his skin, leaving a thin, red line of blood along the previously flawless porcelain skin on his cheek, he closed his eyes against the cool metal, finding release in every cut he administered to himself, finally, he found his only wrist, not knowing how to puncture it with only one hand, he leaned heavily back against the fallen tree behind him, closing his eyes as he soaked in his own blood. The blood he had drawn from his own veins. He allowed the tears to fall freely now, unable to do much else besides cry and wince slightly as the salty drops mingled with his blood and ran down into his wounds. He was surprised and would have laughed at the fact that he'd had his arm ripped off and had not shed a tear, but now, these small, insignificant wounds covering him made him weep like a fallen child. He found himself even more pathetic after that thought crossed his mind.
Kumiho couldn't take it anymore. She moved away from her tree and headed towards the blood-covered demon, kneeling down next to him she took off her kimono (Kale: whoa, whoa, whoa! You mean she's- PFM: yes, genius! She is nak-a-zoid now! Don't ruin the mood!) and ripped the sleeve, rubbing it against his blood-soaked cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at her, finding a smile on her face,
"Don't worry, this'll all turn out alright." She murmured, he closed his eyes and turned his head away from her, making her frown, but continue wiping up the blood.
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a field in a river
*Somewhere* you can let your soul run free
*Someday* Someday let me be the giver
Let me bring you peace!
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a break in the weather
*Somewhere* Where the heart and spirit go free!
*Someday* Someday it'll be for the better.
Let this bring you peace!
Several minutes passed with her tearing her kimono and wiping at his cuts, she looked at his face and saw more tears rolling down his cheeks, she sighed and stripped him of his clothes, making him open his eyes quickly, (PFM: ::glares at Kale, who is about to say something:: don't! just shut up and let me write! Kale: ok...) she had an impassive stare on her face as her soft hands and the torn fabric of her kimono worked to clean his wounds, that he'd carved up and down himself all over the place,
"You must have really wanted to die." She remarked, he stared at her, "or, was that not what you were thinking?" she inquired, meeting his eyes with her own, "was this the only way you found to get away?" he bowed his head, looking at his hands, "Sesshoumaru..." she continued, gripping his hands with one of her own, "I've been down that road before. I know what it's like to be so deep that you think you can never get out. But, there's always something worth living for."
"Not for me." he said shaking his head, "never for me." she scowled and shook her head sharply,
"No, there is something. There's always someone waiting. There's always a purpose." Then she reached her other hand up and placed it on his cheek, rubbing the pad of her thumb over the tears still coursing from his eyes, "cry on me." she said softly, watching the tears on the other cheek, "because I'd cry for you."
Let me bring you joy
*Bring you joy*
Let me bring you peace
*Bring you peace*
Take these tears that you cry
And trust them to me
Let me give you heart
*Give you heart*
Let me give you hope
*Give you hope*
Be the one constant love
That you've never known
Sesshoumaru looked at her startled,
"You'd..."
"My tears are reserved solely for you." she said, "Are you at least a little bored with always trying to be the ideal warrior? I've never me anyone who could be as cold and yet as loving as you, Sesshoumaru." Then she leaned down and rested her forehead against his, "you are allowed to just be yourself sometimes." Her hands were now on his shoulders, "be the person that you see in your heart. Cuz that's the real you."
"What do you...?"
"I'm say that you'll only be the real you around the person you love. That's how you know."
"Do you love?" he asked, she laughed a bit, her slim, pale, kimono-less body smeared with his blood,
"Yes, Sesshoumaru. I do love." Then she sat down on his left side, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them, "and I want to be with him forever." The other blinked, but was only met with a smile, "somewhere, there's a sun rising at midnight. And someday, the world will stop. And someway I'll be able to make you understand. You don't need to be emotionless. You need to be yourself. Everyone needs feeling. Everyone needs someone. Nobody can be alone all the time." She turned her head forward and sighed, "Someday there'll be no difference between humans, demons and half-breeds. And someday, everyone'll be happy. But, not now."
"What are you..."
"Babbling about?"
"Y-yes..."
"Dreams. Every night I dream that there's no difference between people. That we all end out with the ones we love, and the world is happy and that no one can ever take that happiness away. But, then I wake up and realize...that it was just that...a dream. That no one trusts anyone and that love is blind and feeble." Then she looked at him again, tears in her eyes, "but, it was a good dream."
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a field in a river
*Somewhere* you can let your soul run free
*Someday* Someday let me be the giver
Let me bring you peace!
*Somewhere* Somewhere there's a break in the weather
*Somewhere* Where the heart and spirit go free!
*Someday* Someday it'll be for the better.
Let this bring you peace!
Then she leaned against him, resting her head on his chest, wrapping one arm around his waist and closing her eyes, "but it is a good dream." She said sleepily, "let your guard down, someday, you'll need love." She said softly, then, with one last yawn, she fell asleep. Sesshoumaru smiled warmly then reached over her and grabbed her kimono, draping it over them like a blanket and closing his own eyes. He opened them for a second and saw a shimmering field, silvery-winged butterflies and glimmering white flowers glowed under the sun, the whole field shivered and rippled as if under water. Sesshoumaru smiled,
"Somewhere, there's a field in a river." He quoted, remembering Li saying that earlier, but not remembering or caring why. Then he closed his eyes again and wrapped his arm around Kumiho, falling asleep there in the woods, covered in drying blood and a torn kimono, and dreams...
Somewhere, Someday
*Let me be the one*
Let me be the one to catch you when you fall
Somewhere, Someday
Somewhere, Someday
[Fade]
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PFM: well?
Aken: ok, it turned out good.
PFM: these things never turn out the way I want them to...it sucks...
CG: ::pats her shoulder comfortingly:: chee...
PFM: thanks, CG. And you! ::points at reader:: review, or else I will send the Hiei-Bat after you! review!
Hiei-bat: hn.
PFM: see?! Review!