My eyes opened slowly, taking in the world around me. It struck me that I was seeing everything for the first time…again. My body felt energized, as if I had been electrically charged. I was suddenly filled with anticipation, as well as profound fear. I wanted to see my new body, and use my new keener senses, but I was terrified that I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back. What if Edward realized the new person I had become was not who he had fallen in love with? These thoughts filled me with dread, but I quickly brushed them aside. Edward had told me many times before that he loved me for me, and that no change that I could possibly undergo during the conversion would affect that.
I rose from the bed, flexing my new muscles and looked around for Edward. I whispered his name, knowing that he could hear me perfectly clearly. I waited, confused as to why he wasn't by my side already. I mentally chided myself for wondering this. It was unfair of me to think that I could commandeer all of Edwards time.
A thought occurred to me as I examined my pale vampire skin; I should sparkle in the sunlight. I decided to test this. I walked over to the windows and extended my arm. The sunlight streamed over it. I waited, thinking that maybe it needed a moment to react, but even after several seconds, nothing happened. I started to worry, I was pretty positive that I was supposed to sparkle. Was this just because I was a new vampire? Maybe I needed a day or two. But I began to wonder…
As I walked over to the mirror, my breath quickened. I almost laughed at myself, remembering that I no longer needed to breathe. That was going to be a hard habit to shake.
The sunlight danced on the glass, beckoning me. I knew that whatever I saw would not change who I was, but it frightened me to not know what Edward would see. My eyes met the eyes of the girl in the mirror.
My hands flew up to my face.
"Bella!" I turned to see Edward glide through the door. His expression was anguished, and I was instantly filled with horror.
He rushed over to me, taking both my hands in his.
"Bella, everything is alright, don't do anything rash," he pleaded, letting go of my hands and grabbing my shoulders instead.
I looked in the mirror again, running my hands over my face, my face. Nothing had changed. I was just as plain and human as I was before Edward bit me. How could this be possible? I was sure that part of becoming a vampire meant becoming breathtakingly beautiful. I didn't even care about the breathtaking part, I just hoped that the gap between mine and Edwards looks would be lessened slightly, at least so that I wouldn't feel so inadequate beside him.
His eyes traced my face. His expression was guarded but I could see the concern hidden behind the calm mask.
"Edward I don't understand," I started.
He cut me off. "Bella, everything is fine, exceptional actually. I could not possibly imagine a better turn of events. All is well, so stop this unnecessary worrying." His overly jovial voice was in no way comforting.
"What turn?" I asked, hysteria creeping into my voice.
"Well…" he began.
Before he could continue another thought occurred to me, what if my face wasn't the only thing that hadn't changed? What if I still had my ridiculous clumsiness, or I was still just as weak? What if I still lacked the speed, the grace and the agility that Edward and the other Cullen's possessed?
The worst thought occurred to me then.
What if I was still human?