A/N: Hey guys, here it finally is, the first chapter of my first long fanfiction. Well, finally for me, I've been working on this story for quite some time now and I'm very happy that I finally finished it last night!

The story takes place in the setting of New Moon, Edward has already left a while ago and Bella just jumped off the cliff. It starts with the part where Edward calls Swan residence to confirm what Rosalie told him about Bella being dead. Now in New Moon, we all know that Jacob picks up and tells him "He's at the funeral." and we all know what the consequences of that were ;) In this story it is not Jacob who picks up the phone but Bella herself. Will Edward come back? See what happens.

There will be some small parts taken literally from New Moon, these parts will be entirely in italics. Just so you know.

Enjoy the first chapter and let me know what you guys think! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters, just my own storylines.

Chapter 1: Phone call

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. We kept staring at each other for a little while longer, while Jacob's face kept coming closer and closer to mine. I still was undecided on whether or not I wanted to cross over to that kind of relationship with him. The phone rang again and that was my excuse for breaking our gaze and with that the tension that was almost tangible in the room.

"Isabella Swan speaking." I thought I heard a relieved sigh at the other end of the line but I was not sure because the other person hung up the phone without saying a word.

"What was that all about?" I muttered to myself while I hung up the phone.

Jacob was staring at me.

"They hung up." I said and I noticed that there was a weird feeling in my stomach when I said that, I felt disappointed, like the person on the other end of the line would have changed my life completely if he or she would have indeed spoken to me, which was weird because it was not as if my life had been so constant over the past couple of months.

Jacob did not say anything, he just stood there, staring at me. I realized he might have been waiting to pick up where we had left of right before the phone call, I sure as hell was not going to bring that up again, not until I was completely sure of my course of action. So I started rambling about dinner and that Charlie might be hungry when he would come back from the funeral. I felt so bad for my father, at least he did not know about anything I had been up to since… I couldn't even finish the thought since it brought back the same amount of pain every time. I started looking around the fridge for some food, preferably a dish that would keep my hands busy for a while, so I had enough time to think about my next move with Jacob. I did not want to hurt his feelings but it was difficult since we both wanted such different things. He had been nothing but a good friend to me and it was not his fault that he had feelings for me but he deserved so much better than what I could give him, he deserved a girl that could promise him her whole heart, I couldn't, I would never be able to, part of my heart, a very dominant part of my heart, would always belong to Edward. This thought made me feel even worse. I kept telling myself that he did not want me, he walked out on me, why should I feel like this for the rest of my life. Normally I would refrain from using the sentence the rest of my life and change it into the rest of my existence, but it seemed that that ship had sailed for good.

Jacob interrupted the downwards spiral my mind was getting in when he offered to help me cook. It was quite uncomfortable trying to cook with the two of us at the same counter in such a small kitchen, especially since Jacob was just so huge, but he did not seem to mind, he was smiling and actually humming to himself. What was he so happy about? I did not have time to ask him, the phone rang again.

"Isabella Swan speaking." I said automatically when I picked up. There was more silence on the other side of the line, longer silence this time, before the person hung up again.

I was annoyed, why didn't people have the decency to say "sorry, wrong number" anymore? When I returned to the counter Jacob had already cut all the meat and vegetables into what seemed to be perfectly squared dices. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if to ask what had just happened but did not speak. I shrugged and shook my head and he let it go.

We were almost finished with cooking and setting the table when Charlie came home. Jacob and I hadn't spoken since the almost kiss this afternoon and Charlie's eyes looked puzzled when he found us silently setting the table and finishing up the meal. His eyes flashed from the annoyed and uncomfortable expression on my face to Jacob's almost euphoric smile and back to me before he sighed and let it go.

I took a good look at my father, the bags under his eyes were almost black, the wrinkles in his face were more prominent and his eyes were watery. He looked terrible, heartbroken, but tried to pretend, for me. He tried to put on a smile and said "Hey Bells" kissing the top of my head. "Jacob," he nodded to Jacob.

Charlie took a long look around the room, searching for something he was sure was missing but did not seemed to really know what he was looking for. I understood it was Alice he was missing so I told him she had to go run some errands and I was not sure when she would be back. If she would be back, I added in my mind. Charlie nodded once more and sat at his usual chair at the dinner table, where Jacob and I joined him.

After dinner Charlie retreated to his own room mumbling something about being tired. Who could blame him after such an emotional day? I had never seen him in this state before though and I was worried. Charlie was never the kind of guy to share and I was worried that not talking about what he was going through would only make things worse for him. I was about to go up to his room to ask him if he wanted to talk and if he was okay, when I realized that this is what Charlie had been dealing with for months now. The roles had been reversed, I had been the retreated zombie and he had been torn between asking me how I was doing and if I wanted to talk or letting me sort things out on my own. I remembered I was glad he chose the latter more than the former, so I decided to give him the same treatment, he would come to me if he really needed to talk.

When the dishes were done, Jacob said he had to get back to the pack and that I should visit him down at La Push when I got the chance. I was worried he wanted to kiss me again and was thinking of what my response to that might be, but when I looked into his eyes his expression was nothing but friendly and concerned for both my father and myself, he kissed the top of my head in the exact same way Charlie had done earlier and I knew I could never be more than just friends with Jacob, best friends, he was like family, like a brother, to me and it would just feel all wrong and more than that, he deserved more love than only like a sister loves her brother, he deserved passion, he deserved someone who dreamt of him at night, someone who would smile only at the thought of seeing him, someone who had trouble being coherent when she was around him, someone who was completely head over heels in love with him, that someone could never be me, not anymore. I was sad at that thought, I would have loved to be able to give Jacob all he deserved and more, but I could not betray my heart by pretending, I would love only one… I stopped myself again, I could not bare these thoughts anymore. Ever since I had seen Edward, I flinched when I thought his name and the whole in my chest was on fire, so clearly in the water, parts of my defense have been slipping, his name raced through my head with the speed of light, echoing off of the one side of my head to the other, like the two halves of my brain were playing a ping pong match and his name was the ball. Every time they hit the ball a feeling of pain shot through my heart, cutting up yet another piece of my already shattered heart.

The moment Jacob was invisible in the forest Alice popped into the room, her expression was strange, it was a mixture of worry, relief and anger. But when I asked her what was wrong she just said that Rosalie had infuriated her with yet another one of her selfish deeds. I did not need to know any more, I did not want to think of the rest of the Cullen family, opening up those wounds would only cause me more pain when Alice left again.

The entire remainder of the evening Alice seemed to be popping in and out of consciousness, it was like she was trying to see the future every minute to see if something had changed. I was wondering if something more was going on than just the selfish behavior of Rosalie, surely she would be used to it by now. But who was I kidding? I was no longer a part of their world, they left me and they were not coming back, I was just another human, fragile and insignificant, why would they share any of their problems with me, now that it no longer involved me in any way?

When Alice saw me staring at her with a confused and frustrated look on my face she worked to smooth out her own face and tried to distract me by going through a DVD collection she brought from their house with what she knew were some of my favorite movies. But most of the movies that used to be my favorites had lost their appeal to me, they had been all about love stories, how could I watch happy couples with the state I was in? Alice had undoubtedly already foreseen my change in taste for movies and brought some pure action comedies as well. I settled for the Rush Hour series, three movies full of humor and action and no relationships or romantic nonsense anywhere. Alice put on the first one and when she thought I was all into the movie her eyes immediately became unfocussed and I knew she was looking into the future again, searching for something, a smile touched her lips briefly before her expression changed to sad. I watched Alice for a while, I saw flashes of emotions, it changed within seconds, anger, sadness, happiness, confusion, anger, disbelief, she continued modeling all expressions one would learn about in a psychology class for a while before she gasped loudly and said "it's gone" her eyes returning to the here and now with shock written all over her face. I couldn't help myself even though I knew it was none of my business.

"What Alice? What happened? What did you see?" I yelled trying to shake the girl, who had turned into stone, next to me awake.

Her eyes focused on me she looked like she was accusing me of something.

"I can't see it." was all she said.

I knew she would only not be able to see anything if it involved the wolves, we figured that out not too long ago. Was something wrong with Jacob? Was the pack okay? Did Victoria get to them? Was anyone going to get hurt? Questions were racing through my mind without pauses in between, it was one blur of questions when all the faces of the pack flashed in front of my eyes. I saw the faces of Sam, Paul, Jared, Quil and Embry followed by a big red brown wolf. I could not imagine Jacob, it hurt too much to think something was going to happen to him.

I was about to ask Alice about what she had seen when she told me it was bedtime for the human. I was pretty tired, but how could I sleep knowing that something terrible might happen to the pack? I was turning myself towards Alice, to look at her face and ask her, no demand her, to tell me what was going on. If there was something with her family, since it was no longer my family, I had no right to even want to know, but this involved the pack and I had every right to know what was going on. I knew it was stupid to ask her what was going to happen, since she could not see the wolves so she would not be able to see what was going to happen or what the outcome would be. I opened my mouth to ask the question anyway, somehow I needed to get more information, but she cut me off yet again, this time not with her words, but her expression told me she would not tell me what was going on and when Alice set her mind to something there was no way it would happen any other way, that was for sure. So I let it go and went to bed as she had told me to, maybe I would have better luck finding out what was going on in the morning.

It was 10 o'clock when I woke up the next morning. I was in my own bed, Alice must have carried me upstairs after I'd fallen asleep against her chest. So I took a shower, brushed my hair, got dressed and hurried downstairs to talk to Alice. But the house was empty when I got downstairs, I walked through the entire house looking for Alice, stupid because I knew she wouldn't be there otherwise she would have come to me sooner, when I got to the kitchen there was a note on the table from Alice.

Dear Bella,

I am sorry I have to leave so suddenly and without saying goodbye, again. It was wrong for me to come here in the first place and I will get plenty of hell for that when I get home, but don't worry about that. Make sure that you stay safe please! And please Bella, don't do any more foolish stuff, it will get you into trouble and it will really hurt Charlie if he would find out. That is all I will ask of you. Again, I am very sorry it has to be like this again but I could not stay and be around you any longer, it would only hurt more if I would leave then. I think it is best if I don't stay in touch with you, to help you move on and to not be reminded of my family anymore than you already are every single day. Please know that I love you and that you will always be my sister!

Love,

Alice

Her handwriting was so elegant, normally I would have marveled over it for quite some time, but with the message she had left me I could not think about handwriting, she left me, how could she do that? She knew how much I wanted her here! But I couldn't be mad at Alice, at least she cared about me, she was trying to give me a normal life, although, especially with her particular talent, she should have known that I would never lead a normal life after everything I had gone through in the last year or so. I lost the love of my life, and now I lost one of my closest friends only days after I had been reunited with her. I was devastated. What had she seen that made her leave in such a hurry? Did she see something more after I'd fallen asleep last night? Maybe she saw Victoria killing the wolves and her in the process if she didn't leave straight away. I flinched at that thought. That couldn't be it though could it? Because she couldn't see the future of the wolves. But she could see her own. I wanted Alice to be safe, be with the people she loved and be happy. So I would have to deal with all this on my own.

I made myself some breakfast in an attempt to resume my normal life, or as close to normal as my life could ever get. But after the first bite of pop-tarts I broke down, I started sobbing and tears streamed down my face faster than water came down at the Niagara Falls, not that I would know, I never travel anywhere. I did not know how long it had been since I read Alice's note, but I heard the door open and close quietly, which meant it couldn't be Charlie, and at the moment my mind was thinking that it might be Victoria coming for me and that I should maybe run or scream or do something, not that it would help, hot arms were around me, protecting me, comforting me, I buried my face in Jacob's chest and cried harder than I had for the entire time I had been downstairs. He carried me to the couch and stroked my hair until I fell asleep exhausted.

When I woke up it was twilight, Jacob had fallen asleep as well, he must have been exhausted from all the extra running he had been doing lately, I tried to move out of his embrace as quietly as I could, Charlie would be home soon and I had to start making dinner for him. But my attempt to be quiet failed miserably because of my clumsiness, when I had freed myself from his flaming body, it felt like I could literally boil an egg on his body, and tried to get of the couch my foot got stuck behind his knee and I slammed headfirst into the floor, hitting my arm on the table at the same time. I wasn't quite sure whether it had been my arm slamming into the table or my body crashing onto the floor that woke Jacob, or maybe it was both, but he was standing up so quickly it was only a blur, body shaking all over as if he was expecting some kind of danger. When he saw me lying on the floor, defeated, the shaking stopped and he looked worried for a moment, assessing the extent of my injuries, I didn't have any. Then he started chuckling quietly, slightly unsure, scared that he would make me mad if he laughed too loudly, or worse, made the waterworks start again. My response surprised us both, I started giggling too, despite all that had happened in the last couple of months, I was giggling, but not for long, I tried to get up off the floor, but I tried to grab the sofa for support and missed completely, falling flat on my butt once again. Jacob's laugher was echoing off the walls in our little living room and I couldn't stop myself either, I must have looked like a complete moron the entire time but I could not care less, I was laughing at myself, at my clumsiness but mostly at my stupidity with everything the last couple of months, from thinking Edward could really have cared for someone as plain as I was and thinking I would ever be part of the Cullen family, to the stupid, reckless things I had been up to down at La Push only to hear his voice. I laughed louder and thinking about everything I had gone through made me feel more stupid then ever, I cannot believe I had changed from a rational, rather grown-up person for my age, into the giddy little teenager I had been around Edward, drooling at his every move, and I could not believe that that same rational person would run around the reservation looking for a thrill just to hear a voice in her head. What had I been thinking? I had been holding on to something that was never real to begin with! My laughter turned into crying so swiftly I had not even noticed it myself until Jacob turned to look at me with shock across his face.

"Oh Bella, are you hurt? Are you okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed at you!" He helped me up and put me on the couch, where he took his place next to me. He was stroking my hair again, soothing me. But I did not feel like I needed comforting, I felt okay, for the first time in a very long time I felt like I was finally going to have a normal life again. Maybe I would be able to love someone else from now on… No that was still out of the question, I would never feel the passion I felt for him for anyone else, how could I when he was the most perfect being in the world and I had felt like he had been mine? I knew I was irrational, and I told myself that he had never really been mine to begin with, he was just too good for me, how could he ever love me?

The crying stopped as suddenly as it had come. I was done feeling sad for now, I just wanted to relax and not think, if only that were possible. I snuggled closer into Jacob's chest. He was so warm it was almost uncomfortable, almost… But I felt safe, loved, and that was all I needed for now. I looked up at Jacob to try and see his expression, was he mad? He looked calm and caring, and he did care for me, way too much, more than I deserved, but he was real, and he was here, maybe…

I could not finish the thought, the phone rang again. I could not remember that we would ever get so many phone calls before. I went over to the phone to answer it.

"Isabella Swan speaking." I said into the phone.

Silence.

"Hello, this is Bella speaking." I said, trying to make the other person talk.

More silence. This was starting to get on my nerves.

"Look, I don't know who you are…" I started.

There was a click and then a beeping sound. The person hung up again. What was going on? Somehow I felt oddly comforted by the silence on the phone, it felt like I knew the person on the other end of the line, I was drawn to that person, I could not help but wonder who it was and why he or she kept hanging up the phone. If they had dialed the wrong number they would have figured out by now and stopped calling, or at least asked for the right number or something, you don't just accidentally call the same number three times and just hang up. It was like someone wanted something but was afraid to actually ask for it.

"Who was it?" Jacob was standing next to me, worried look on his face.

"I don't know, he or she has not answered me yet." I answered honestly.

"That is quite weird, maybe next time you should let me pick up the phone?" He offered.

"You think it's something dangerous?" My mind was trying to get around that possibility, what would be dangerous to me with a pack of wolves protecting and monitoring me 24/7? Other than obvious things like vengeance seeking vampires who are out to kill me? But she wouldn't really use the phone now would she? It had to be something else, and it felt too good to be something bad, I could not explain the feeling I got with these phone calls, my heart accelerated and my hands became sweaty every time I answered, my thoughts were incoherent and I couldn't breathe properly. It was so frustrating not to know who it was or why he or she kept calling. It clearly was not to talk to me.

That night my dreams were all over the place. First, I was in a big white room, full of sunlight but there were no windows. In the middle of the room there was a big telephone, ringing non-stop. But as soon as I took a step closer to the phone it went silent. When I stopped walking it would ring again. This would continue until I was finally at the phone. I stopped right in front of it and it started ringing, the loud sound of the huge phone hurt my ears but that did not stop me, I tried to reach for the horn but I couldn't reach it, I was not tall enough, the ringing kept getting louder and louder until I could not take it anymore, I tried everything I could to get the phone to stop ringing, to get the horn of the hook to talk to the person causing me this pain, but I couldn't. I woke up screaming, something I hadn't done in a long time. When I realized what was going on I covered my mouth with my hands and lay down quietly, listening if I had woken Charlie, I hadn't.

When I fell back asleep the dream had changed. I was in a mall with Alice, we were shopping for a dress, at one point we were at the dress store and I was changing in the dressing room while Alice kept throwing new dresses in the booth for me to try on. It started out as normal sundresses, not that I would ever need those in Forks, but the dresses grew more and more absurd. Until at some point I was wearing the most ostentatious of wedding dresses, it was a huge white dress, very wide at the bottom and tight at the top, it had long sleeves and a deep cleavage, the top was covered in shiny silver/white fabric and little diamonds sparkling off of every inch of the bodice. When I looked down to the bottom of the dress I noticed it wasn't just very wide it was also very long, the fabric dragged out behind me for at least 10 feet. When I looked up again the scene had changed, I was at a crossroad on the left of me there was an aisle that stretched to a garden I did not recognize, it was beautiful and open and light, I wanted to walk towards it, to see the rest of it, but something at the other side of the crossroad got my attention, it was a beach I was very familiar with, it was La Push beach, covered in chairs filled by friends and family of Jacob and myself at the end of the long row of friends and family there was a small arc covered in white roses, and standing underneath it was Jacob, wearing a black tuxedo that hugged his huge muscles nicely, I had to say, he looked amazing. I had almost forgotten about the other side of the crossroad as I was eager to join my friends and family at the familiar beach. But something made me look back to the garden and the image was redefined, it was not just an empty garden anymore, there were also rows of chairs filled with family and friends, but not the same family and friends I had seen at the La Push beach, these were my vampire family and friends, as well as my school friends, I saw Angela, Jessica and Mike all sitting there, and at the end of the aisle, there he was, more godlike than I had ever seen him, smile so radiant I could not resist smiling back, Edward was standing in a black tuxedo as well, looking so much better than Jacob, Jacob was humanly handsome, Edward was divine. Next to Edward was Emmet, he was holding what seemed to be two wedding rings, and on the other side of the minister was Alice, in a bridesmaid's dress, looking stunning as always. I looked back and forth between the two images, two different lives, I had to choose, walk down one aisle, I could not stay in between forever. In my dream Edward wanted me, why was I hesitating then? Wasn't it obvious I would always choose him? But Jacob, the pack, Billy, Charlie, how could I lose that? What did this mean?

When I woke up, still undecided, it was 7.30 and I thought it was time to get out of bed, I did not want any more disturbing dreams, it was bad enough that I was dreaming again but did they have to be so confusing? And why did I dream of marrying either one of them? Edward did not want me and I did not want Jacob in that way, this could not be where my life was headed, staying in between, never really loved, never really loving, and all the while never moving. I tried my best to push the image out of my head, I could not think that my life would go this way, there had to be something else, some possibility I was missing? Wasn't there?

I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower, I took my time, I did not have anywhere I was supposed to be early today anyways. It was 9.30 when I was completely done with my morning ritual, I never took this long but I did not feel like rushing anything today, I was tired and cranky because of those weird dreams. I had not dreamt of Edward this clearly for so long, every time I thought of it ice-cold shivers were sent down my spine and every crack in my heart was burning with such intensity it felt like I was on fire, it was horrible. I decided to go down to La Push, I needed some distractions today, I was not sure how it would be to face Jacob after my dream and the tension there had been between us two night ago, I did not know what to say, would he think we could be a couple now? I knew I was sending mixed signals, but he knew how messed up I was, he could not possibly want that! But he did, I knew that.

I was almost out the door when the phone rang again. Charlie had already gone to work so I knew he would not pick up, but I was not in the mood for another non-conversation with my mystery caller. I decided to let it go and closed the door behind me. I could still hear the phone ringing when I reached my truck. What if it was something important? What if it was Jacob? What if it was Charlie and something was wrong? All sorts of scenarios rushed through my head, but I pushed them all away, I did not want to pick up the phone today, maybe not ever again, not after that weird dream and the mysterious phone calls, I could not worry about that too, my head was already too full as it was.

Driving always helped clear my head so I was happy I had decided to drive down to La Push today. I noticed that the closer I got to the reservation the happier I got. There was always such a nice atmosphere there, it was quiet but not scary. When I got to Jacob's house Billy was already waiting for me, my truck always gave me away. Billy was glad to see me, he said he needed to talk to me about something and Jacob was still asleep, he deserved his rest so I went into the living room with Billy and sat down on the couch. Billy sat across from me with a friendly smile on his face. I wondered what was going on.

"Bella," he started. I waited patiently for him to continue. He didn't, he just sat there smiling, waiting for me to say something I guess.

I hesitated but after a few seconds I answered. "Yes?" I asked.

"Jacob would probably not be too happy with me if he knew we were having this conversation but I trust I am doing the right thing and he will thank me for it later." I did not like where this was heading at all, I did not know how to reply so I just waited silently, nodding for him to go on.

"I know you have been having a very hard time since the Cullens…" I cringed internally from the sound of their name, Billy saw my expression so he waited for me to smooth out my face before he continued "… left and I know that one of them visited you recently, Jacob told me you were very broken up about it when she suddenly left as well." I could only nod, images of Alice's visit flashed through my head, the words on her note sounded through the images like a storyline, she did not wanted to remind me of her family any more than I already was, she loved me and I would always be her sister to her.

"I was very sorry to hear that." Another nod from me was all he was getting right now.

He continued without pausing. "But I have noticed a change in your state of being since the first time you came to the reservation to see Jacob, you are more alive and more happy even. I have noticed the same change in Jacob, since you have been hanging out here recently. You helped him through a really rough time as well you know? He was having a lot of trouble accepting the changes that were going on with him but when he found a way for the two of you to still be friends and hang out he was more happy than I had seen him before, he is actually enjoying the werewolf part of himself, he loves belonging to the pack, they are like the brothers I had never given him. I am really happy to see him like this and I have you to thank for that. So thank you." I could find nothing but gratitude in his expression, was that really all he wanted to talk about? Me helping Jake? There aren't a lot of things I wouldn't do for him after all he had helped me through.

"I'm just glad I could do something back for him, I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately and I am ashamed of that, but Jake helped me through the hardest time I have ever had, I love him like a brother." Maybe I shouldn't have said that last part, because Billy raised his eyebrows and there was a twinkle of pleasure in his eyes when he replied.

"I know he loves you too Bella, I can see it in his eyes." I blushed and dropped my eyes to the floor. This was not the way I had meant it, I really meant that he is like a brother to me, we were family.

"He's family" I shrugged.

"You are part of his family too Bella, part of mine, you know that. You are always welcome here." He was sincere when he spoke in his grave voice. I smiled and blushed further, I did not know how to reply to this.

"Bella," Billy started, unsure this time, "I know this is none of my business, well I guess, since it involves my son, it is at least a little my business, but it has been months since they left," cautiously staying away from any name that would upset me, "and you have changed so much, and from what I see most of it is because of my son…"

"It is all because of Jake." I interrupted.

He smiled. "Alright, don't you think that there is more than just friendship between you? Your bond is so strong and you are almost inseparable, even when he turned into a werewolf and he wasn't allowed to tell you about it or see you again, you two found a way to remain friends. You are so close and I see the way he looks at you Bella, I am not a fool. And neither are you, I know you feel something for my son and I know that you're still hurting over that boy but I am just asking you to not shut Jacob out of your life just yet, he is a good kid and he loves you very much, he is good for you." By the end of his little speech there was a very deep red color all over my face, why did he have to bring this up? Why couldn't he just have stopped with "thank you!"?! I hadn't decided on what to do with this whole Jacob situation, he deserves better than me and I don't want him in that way, I want him as my friend, my brother, but we cannot be more, I do not belong to him, my heart does not belong to him.

"I am not going to shut Jake out of my life Billy, but I don't feel the same way he does about me. Like I said before, Jake is family, he is like a brother to me, and I am broken, it is true that I have been happier since I have been hanging out with Jake but he is my best friend and nothing more than that. He deserves better than what I can give him, he deserves a whole heart, someone who loves only him, and I will never be able to give him that."

"I know how you feel about that Cullen boy Bella, and I know it is not easy to get over something like that, such a complicated relation you must have had. I am not pretending to know the depth of your relationship but I have seen what he did to you by leaving and that is not healthy Bella." He was nothing but concerned for my wellbeing, he cared for me I knew that, but he did not know what he was talking about. How could he want someone like me for his son? I was no good for him!

"I am not good for Jake, I am not healthy, how could you want that for him?"

"I see the way he looks at you Bella, you are who he wants, and I want him to have what he wants, even if that might not be the best thing for him at the moment, but I know the two of you would make it work, you wouldn't hurt him, you care for him. And Jake would never hurt you, he would never leave…"

"DAD!!!!" Jake growled at his father. The two of us looked up at him in shock, his face was red hot and he was shaking all over, he stormed out of the house and the next thing we heard was a wolf howling.

"Well, I guess I was right when I said he wouldn't be happy with me if I would have this conversation with you." I had to laugh a little at that.

"I will go talk to him," I said, "he will calm down, you were doing it for him after all."

"Not just for him Bella." The look he gave me was so serious and convincing that I had to look away and all but ran out of the house to avoid his gaze.

I looked near the house for Jacob, I picked up all his clothes, his shirt was ripped but his shoes were intact, I could not find his pants so that must have meant that he had been able to take those off in time and carried them with him. But I couldn't find Jake anywhere near so I decided to go look for him at the beach, both of us seemed to retreat there when we needed to think or calm down. It was no surprise that I found him sitting on a log near the water, in his human form, looking angry but in control of himself. So I walked up to him and sat next to him. At first he did not look at me, he kept staring at his bare feet, he was indeed wearing his pants so that was a good thing. I handed him his shoes and the remainder of his shirt.

"Are you okay Jake?"

"How could he say those things?! He had no right! It is non of his business!" He growled at me, as he started to tremble again.

"Don't worry about it Jake, he is just worried about you, he wants you to be happy you know." I tried to calm him down, I put my hand on his hand and he automatically took my hand and the trembling stopped.

"I don't really care about me, it's not like he told you things that you did not already know before right? But I can't believe he put you on the spot like that, he made you uncomfortable and you are not ready for this stuff, I know that, I can wait and I did not want to bring it up at all. After the other day I knew you could not handle that yet."

"Oh Jake, don't get into a fight with your dad over me please! I assure you that is not necessary."

"But he hurt you!"

"I know Jake, but he means well, and he is concerned for me too, I know that and I think it is very sweet of him that he would care for me so much that he would go through all the trouble of talking to me about it even though it was going to be hard for him."

"You are too forgiving Bells."

"How would you react if the situation was reversed and Charlie would give you a speech like that?"

"But that's not the case, our feelings are not reversed. Would be quite uncomfortable if I would have been in love with that vamp." He grinned but when he realized that I flinched at those words he looked ashamed. "Sorry." He added quickly.

"It's okay Jake, don't worry about it!" I laid my head on his shoulder and he rested his head on mine. We sat like that staring at the water for a while before he broke the silence.

"You know, you are not wrong for me."

"You don't know what you're saying Jake, I'm broken remember, I don't have a complete heart to give anymore."

"You'll heal Bella."

"I don't know, it doesn't feel like that now." I sighed.

"I'm sure, I'll help you," he smiled, "I'll be your friend Bella, nothing complicated, I'm here for you."

"It hurts you."

"Not as much as not being your friend at all, I'm happy when I am around you, even if my reasons are different from yours but you do like me as a friend don't you?"

"You know I do Jake, you're my best friend and I love you like a brother. We're family!"

"Yeah, that's enough for me," He smiled and mumbled "for now." I wasn't sure he meant for me to hear that so I did not respond, we were silent after that.

It was almost six when Jake and I returned to his house, we had sat on the beach in silent for a long time, never uncomfortable, the both of us perfectly at ease. I tried not to think of anything, just admire the way the waves hit the shore and trying to imagine how nice it would be to just escape to the water, not needing to think, not needing to run from anything anymore, just swim. Unfortunately that thought brought back the memories of the last time I was in that sea and my mind shied away from that thought from then on. Sometimes pictures of me and Jacob walking hand in hand along that beach popped up, they were close to real memories but with one significant difference, the loving way we looked at each other, we were a happy couple completely in love. I only smiled at those images but they didn't last long, every time the image of Jake had popped up there was another picture trying to come to the surface of my mind, these were real memories, memories of the happy times I had with Edward, my heart burned more every time I saw his beautiful, loving face and I had to remind myself that it had all been a lie, he never loved me, he couldn't have.

When we got to the little house Billy had already started making dinner, he told me I was welcome to join them and he had invited Charlie over as well, he would come straight over from work. So we staid at Billy's place. Jacob and Billy had an easy relationship, they did not talk about this afternoon but neither of them was angry or hurt. They both understood the other side of the story and accepted blame for their part, it was so peaceful.

When dinner was over I knew Charlie wanted to watch a game and I was almost sure Billy wanted to watch too, so I volunteered to clean up so they could relax in front of the TV, Jake offered to help.

"You dry and I'll clean." I told him with a smile, this was how siblings worked as well, although I was sure he had a different image in mind, he put on his biggest, widest smile, the smile I knew all too well and loved, this was the Jacob I liked.

After the dishes were done Jake and I went to Emily's house because Jake wanted to talk to the pack, he ditched an entire day so they were probably not all too happy with him. When we walked in the house Sam and Jared were sitting on the couch, the rest was out running. Jacob started apologizing, but Sam wasn't having any of it, he said Jacob's job had been just as important, since Victoria was coming for me he had been at the most important place, I needed protection and the rest of the pack could run. Although I knew Jacob was going to have to make up for the missed running tonight, and he was already so exhausted. But he did not seem to mind.

The rest of the evening went by very fast, Jake, Jared and Sam had been talking strategy the entire time and I spent time with Emily, I helped her bake a cake for the boys and we chatted throughout the entire evening. She was such a kind and loving person, every time she spoke of Sam her voice was so full of love it made me feel uncomfortable but she was very smart and had some very interesting ideas and insights to the world. She told me about her family and about her life before she met Sam, she told me about the pack and she also gave me a talk about the changes she noticed in Jake since he found a way for us to be friends. I wished everyone would just drop that already, I am glad we are still friends but it makes things so much more complicated since the feelings are so different. I told her that as well.

"Don't worry about that Bella, he wants you as his friend no matter what. He loves you, maybe in a different way than you love him, but he would never do anything to hurt you and he knows that it would hurt you if he would try for the two of you to be more than friends now, so he would not do that. He's a sweet boy!"

"The problem is that I don't want him to miss out on anything because he is waiting for me, I don't know if I would ever be able to give him my heart in that way. I love him like a brother and I don't want him to keep waiting for us to be more." It was very easy to talk to Emily, she was very understanding and insightful, this conversation helped me more than the talk with Billy had, that had just left me feeling sad for what I put Jake through, but she understood my side and she comforted me.

"Jacob is a big boy, he can take care of himself and he knows what he wants, and what he wants is for you to be friends so you will be friends."

"The worst part of it all is just that I know that if it wasn't for…," I stopped suddenly, shocked, was this really how I felt? That Jake and I would have been together if my heart hadn't been stolen by someone so strong?

Emily noticed I could not go on and she changed the subject. After that we just made light conversation, she told me things that happened in the pack, about Paul's anger, their incredible appetite and funny stories, I mostly listened and laughed a lot.

It was around 10 when Jake and I walked back to his house, Charlie was about to leave and I told him to wait for me so I could come with him. We said goodbye to Billy and Jake and I promised I would be back soon.

When we got home Charlie went straight up to his room, he said he had a long day and was exhausted, I told him I would go up soon as well, I just had to get some stuff from the living room, I would not bother him anymore today, he needed his rest, I was still worried about how tired and sad he looked. I looked at the phone when I walked past it to go upstairs and the missed call light was blinking, there had been 10 missed call, all anonymous. What was going on?

At that exact moment the phone rang again, anonymous caller. I sighed, it might be important for someone to call so many times in one day.

"Isabella Swan speaking." I said quietly so I wouldn't bother Charlie.

It sounded like the person on the other side sighed, it sounded relieved. But other than that there was no sound. I didn't have the energy for this anymore.

"Alright, who are you? Do you have any idea how annoying this is?" I was angry, I wanted the other person to speak, I wanted to know what they wanted. "What do you want from us?"

There was a long silence, but the other person did not hang up. After a while the person sighed and finally spoke.

"Sorry." Was all he said and he hung up the phone.

A/N: So that was it for the first chapter. I'm not very good at judging when to end a chapter but I thought this would be a nice little cliffhanger, that also meant that this chapter was a bit long. There will be some more long chapters but also some short ones, like I said, judging lenghts of chapters is not my forte ;) I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, please review to let me know what your thoughts are! I am not sure whether I will post another chapter today or tomorrow but it will be soon, I promise :) The story will contain eleven chapters (around 41.000 words :P) and I want to finish uploading before I'm going on a holiday so I'll have to hurry ;) Anyways, thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter.