This story spawned from a story a friend told me today about when she was playing Left 4 Dead, and she joined a team of noobs. Her rant was punctuated with explanations, since I have never played the game myself, so if I don't seem to know what I'm talking about, it's because I don't.

Mello looked up in shock as Matt removed his headset and flung it down on the couch next to him. The redhead hadn't looked up from behind his laptop for more than two minutes since the previous afternoon, and the sun was just beginning to set.

"Stupid fucking Noobs!" He exclaimed, jabbing furiously at his keyboard, Mello stood up from his chair and crossed the room of their small dingy apartment and sat near him on the couch, shifting his headset out of the way.

"What?" He asked, pulling a chocolate bar out of his pocket and beginning to unwrap it.

"These Noobs I'm on a team, with!" the redhead continued, jabbing a finger momentarily at the screen and going back to the keyboard, "At first I though; hey they're just new I'll help them out, and so stupidly I protected them so they didn't fucking die all the fucking time, but no! Low and behold! They're just Noobs!" Mello slid a little closer to Matt as he continued, "So I'm almost dead after practically carrying them to this point, limping after them and they just keep running ahead of me!" Mello slid even closer, he could see the screen now, and Matt's character was indeed limping along after a group of much faster ones.

"Oh." Mello said in an uncommitted tone, Matt ploughed on regardless,

"Curse you Noobs, I hope a Karma Tank comes along and smushes you! Which it will if it ever does! Because you're Noobs!" He yelled Mello slid over again until he literally couldn't get any closer to Matt without sitting on him, "Uh, what're you doing?"

"What?" Mello said, snapping a bite off of his chocolate bar and regarding his friend coolly,

"Oh, nothing… Damn it, limp faster! Not that I really want to help you Noobs you know! Lame-ass guys that you are…" He muttered quietly for a little while longer, and kept pressing keys until he heard Mello shift again, and this time felt warm breath on the side of his neck. Mello had laid down his chocolate and was currently half-lying on top of the gamer, very far inside his personal bubble.

"Sorry Matty, can't resist." He said and pressed his mouth to the redhead's, Matt's hands drifted off his computer keys and entwined in the Blonde's hair as Mello traced his lips with his tongue and slid it past them inside his mouth.

With the Noobs

They are all sitting in the same room, but chatting online as they play… Their conversation has been translated from Noob-ish for your benefit.

Noob1: Hey, that guy who was here earlier hasn't done anything in a while, did he die?

Noob2: Probably, he was so sucky, always getting in my way when I was about to do something awesome. I rule at this game.

Noob3: Hey guys Noob4 is missing, have you seen him? I think-skdbhfiusgbr.

The Noobs say no more because they were all wiped out in a Karma Tank attack, as they should have been.

Meanwhile Matt's character stayed stationary as the gamer's hands were currently occupied raking through Mello's hair and skimming across his leather clad chest. He paused when he felt something hard digging into his leg.

"Mells, is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me?" He asked, grinning cheekily.

"What, oh yeah. It is my gun actually." Mello shifted and the jabbing object vanished, there was a moment where the two just looked at each other until Mello broke it, "Matt…" He couldn't say it, "Mail…" He said instead, hoping Matt would get it.

"I love you too Mihael."

A bit long, but I don't really care. I love Mett (My name for Matt/Mello) but I've never written any before, so any feedback is much appreciated!

Later!

DTFrogget