Naruto X The World Crackfic. You know you want to read this... :D
Seizure Number 1
"Sakura-chan~ Sakura-chan~! Look what I found!" Naruto was holding something in his hands. Something lime green, small, and screaming (laughing and blurting) out foreign phrases and words. The blond had no idea what the squirming creature was, and currently neither do you.
"Swiss rolls! Those thingies on your heads look like Swiss rolls! NomnomnomnomHAHAHAHAHA~!" The creature screeched and wriggled around in Naruto's grasp, pointing and laughing at their forehead protectors for no apparent reason. The creature also apparently did not speak Japanese. Sakura raised one eyebrow, confusion written on her features. What was it? Where did it come from? Is the author planning on answering any of these questions?
"Have you seen my Piggy? I dropped I dropped it... I LOVED YOU, PIGGY! I LOVED YOUU...!" This is the exact reason why I chose to let you find out who our guest star is on your own. But as my Drama teacher always said, "Your audience is deaf, dumb and blind."
"Does it have a name?" Sakura ventured, striding forward to peer at the green bundle. The bundle cheered hysterically, not understanding every word that was coming out of the pink-haired... something, and finding something amusing in the simple question.
"Gir, reporting for tacos. Gimme your tacos! Tacostacostacos! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"So... Its name is Tacos? Alright then, Tacos! Wanna come home and live with me? I have a feeling one of my friends would love ya."
"...Tacos...?" Gir whimpered, it's heartbroken eyes sparkling.
" Ah shit. It keeps saying its name over and over again. Is it a new fucking breed of pokémon?" The blond nearly dropped it. He hated pokémon. Still, he felt like it was his responsibility to take care of it.
"Shit, shit, shit~ HAHAHAHAHAHA~!"
"Aw great. Look what you've done now, asshole." The pink-haired teenager reprimanded.
The pair walked to Ichiraku Ramen and sat down. The blond ordered 4 bowls of Pork Ramen. Two for himself, one for Sakura and one for Gir. The Author wonders if you had guessed who the creature was by now. The Author also wonders why he is referring to himself in third person.
"Food? Food. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD~!" Once again, Gir laughs manically. Gir lifts the bowl and tips the contents all into his mouth.
"Wow... That's the fastest anyone has eaten a whole bowl of Ramen. The little guy even beat your record time, Naruto." Teuchi looked shocked. Very shocked.
"Oh for the sweet love of God! How the hell did that bastard managed to do tha- Hold on, why is his tongue always sticking out?"
Pull
Unzip
Remove Disguise
"Oh yay! It's not a pokémon! It's a metal thing that makes noise!" Naruto nearly jumped out of his seat. Problem is, Gir's eyes turned red...
Perfectly timed as always, Ino came into the Ramen shop the exact moment Gir's eyes turned red. She gawked at the robot with red eyes until it noticed her.
"Activating translation mode... Oh piggy! My piggy came back! I knew you would! I LOVE YOU PIGGY ~!" Ino was utterly shocked. Everyone present could almost see her usual air of confidence materialize and shatter 5 seconds later, she was back in her house, under her blanket, shivering while Sakura's laugh actually managed to rival Gir's.
"HAHAHAHAHA! What are we laughing about? And why did my Piggy run away? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME PIGGY!"
Author breaking the forth wall, again: Sakura is continues laughing while Naruto is trying to comfort Gir.
"Um.. Tacos, it's okay, um.. This is hard. It's okay, your piggy will come back... Sorry, Ino."
"Really?"
"Uh... Yeah!"
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEE! YAY! MY PIGGY WILL COME BACK YAY YAY YAY! SQUEEEE~"
After Sakura finished her ramen, they walked back to Naruto's place. On the way, Naruto was introducing himself and Sakura to Gir.
"So, Tacos, my name is Naruto, and the girl is called Sakura... Okay?"
"Okey Nakura!"
"Umm, nevermind, just call me... Umm... Blondie... I guess...?"
Once they got to Naruto's house, Naruto put Gir into his disguise. Just at that moment, Kiba, with Akamaru perched atop his head, knocked on the window. Naruto opened it.
"Hey Naruto I just wanted to- what's that thing?"
"Oh it's nothi- nevermind"
Gir hopped off the chair and walked around.
"Aww.. It's a kid! Are you and Sakura... um, you know..." Without another word, Kiba hopped off, smiling like he just found out a juicy secret...
-To Be Continued-