A Mess of Things
A Song of the Lioness Fan-Fiction
Summary: Alanna has returned to Tortall with the Dominion Jewel, and George has been keeping his distance, while Jon has not. What would have happened if she had accepted Jon's second proposal? How would she faire as Queen?
Author's Note: This first chapter contains a lot of segments from Lioness Rampant. No copyright infringement is intended. It is simply to set the scene for the story.I do not own these characters; they belong to Tamora Pierce.
Chapter 1: A Second Proposal
May 439 H.E.
They wanted her to be King's Champion? Were they all dropped on their heads as babies? Or had they beaten each other senseless in her absence so that logic now escaped them?
Jonathan met her eyes, his gaze friendly but determined. "And let's not forget that you journeyed into the stuff of fables and brought back the Dominion Jewel. This alone would cause you to be given a high place, even without everything else you've done. So say 'thank you,' Alanna."
"Jonathan," she whispered, knowing it was useless.
"Say 'thank you,' Alanna," Myles told her gently.
"You said you wanted to be useful," Jon pointed out.
Alanna had to grin. "Thank you Jonathan," she whispered.
He smiled. "You won't regret it—or at least, I won't." He gathered everyone's attention. "Let us discuss the situation in Tortall…"
It was noon by the time the meeting drew to a chose. Jonathan signaled Alanna to remain behind while he showed the others out. She obeyed, still considering all she'd heard since meeting Raoul in Port Udayapur. Jonathan closed the door after Gary and came back to Alanna at the table.
"Please don't feel that being Champion traps you in some way," he said, somewhat concerned. "We're far past the era when a Champion had to defend the king's law with his sword. I imagine you'll have all the time in the world to continue roaming."
Alanna smiled at him. "That's good. It's not that I don't like being at home. I just know there are places I haven't seen. I'll always be here when you need me, though."
"That's a comfort." An awkward silence descended until she asked, abruptly, "Are you still courting that princess I heard about—Josiane? The one I met last night?"
Jonathan blushed and shook his head. "She likes being a princess too much. And she's cruel. She hides it well, but she is." He fiddled with the papers in front of him. "Are you jealous?" he asked sharply. "I noticed you didn't waste time finding somebody to replace me. Two somebodies, if you count George and Liam Ironarm.
It was Alanna's turn to blush. "I'm not jealous," she said at last. "I just thought you had better taste."
Jonathan stared at the table. "My offer of marriage stands, if you want."
She looked at him. "I don't know if you've noticed, Jon, but we're very different people these days. I didn't realize how different until this council meeting."
"It's funny," he replied, thinking. "I look at you and realize you've been to places I'll never visit." He smiled regretfully. "You turned into a hero when I wasn't watching."
"Don't say that. I'm still me." Alanna walked over to sit on the table in front of him. "Jon, if we were married, we'd make a mess of things. You know it as well as I do."
"I don't know that."
"What?" She blinked.
"Alanna, please. Consider it." Jon's sapphire eyes met her violet ones. They were full of pleading. He actually wants to marry me, she thought, startled. He can't be serious. Especially after last time.
"Listen to me, Alanna. My kingdom, my reign is supposed to be cursed. Both of my parents are gone. Roger is back from the dead. You are the best friend I have; you know me better than anyone else does. And you are famous in your own right—Mithros, Alanna, you're already legend. With you by my side, together, the possibilities are endless."
Alanna could not look at him. She was afraid that she would cry if she looked him straight in the eye. This was the only man she'd ever admitted loving, though she wasn't sure he was the one she still loved. Her emotions churned over and over in the bottom of her stomach.
"Alanna," Jon cupped her chin under his hand. "I need you."
"Jon," her eyes were brimming over as she looked at him. "Last time…well, I don't…know if we would work. I love you, Jon. We've been through a lot. But what we want from life—you like this king business. I like action. I like to say what I think."
"Last time, I was a spoiled-rotten, arrogant, hot-headed prince. I've had to grow up in the past few months. And I've realized a few things. I love you, too, Alanna. You're a part of me—my sword arm."
"Fine. I like that. But you need a queen, too."
"And I am asking you to be that queen."
"I'm not queen material, Jon. Look at me!" Alanna gestured at her breeches and tunic, Lightening strapped to her side. She looked nothing like a respectable queen should. "There are so many other options—Thayet, for instance."
Slyly, she glanced at how Jon would take that. Since she had seen Thayet, she had thought perhaps the warlord's daughter could keep Jon in line. Jon blushed slightly, and looked at the floor. Aha! Alanna thought.
"You still want to marry me, sire? Or were you just checking to see if the road was clear?" she teased.
"I don't want to go back on my word. I asked for your hand—"
She sighed. "Jon, do you honestly want my hand?"
"Alanna, I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't think it would be best…for both of us. Unless you have other takers?"
Alanna looked into his face. Despite his honest tone, she gleamed the hint of a challenge, a threat of a taunt. Did she have other takers? Her heart sank as she thought of George and Liam. She would never have considered marriage to the Dragon, but George… Her newest, foolish, secret daydream included the King of Thieves. But George had been so distant since she had arrived. Not cold, per se, but he had been avoiding her like she had the Sweating Sickness. After her first reunion with Jon, George never looked her in the eye. She tried to grab his arm, but he had shaken her off, and had mumbled something about having to see someone, "Rogue business". Her heart had fallen as a pretty young barmaid had wound herself around George and he had smiled into her face, and whispered something in her ear that had made the lass giggle seductively. Alanna had dashed from the Dancing Dove, unable to face it. George had replaced her. He was always surrounded by feminine girls. One of them had managed to capture his heart. Maybe he had gotten tired of waiting for her to settle down. Maybe he thought her too young. After all he was six years older…
Jon was waiting for her answer; she snapped back to reality.
"Jon, I don't think—"
"Are you positive we couldn't make a good marriage?" he demanded.
Alanna had no response to this. They had mutual respect for each other and knew each other as well as their own selves. She could do worse than the king of the realm.
"I don't know, Jon…"
"Alanna, that's all you said for the past few minutes. When did you become indecisive?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Those are the kinds of things that caused problems the first time, Highness."
Jon put up his hands in defense. "Alanna, I am not trying to start an argument. I just want is best for Tortall. And I think that you would be. Best for Tortall. Just think: the first female knight goes on to become King's Champion and queen." As an afterthought, he added "I think you'd be good for me, too. You keep my head on straight. Please. And if you are my wife, there will be no one to tell you 'no'. Who but I will have power greater than yours? Think of the things you could do for the children, for the girls who share your dreams. And you'll always have a home to come back to after your roaming. Tortall and this palace will always be your home."
Alanna opened her mouth to disagree. She couldn't argue with the logic of a home and what she could do for the future women. But she knew that she would not be the queen Tortall expected her to be. She wasn't the gentle, docile creature Lianne had been and Lianne had been adored. Sure, together she and Jon could shake up the stuffy old-fashioned nobles a bit, but wouldn't a gentle, beautiful, kind queen be better? More of a compromise, on the outside at least? But she knew Jon. And she loved him. Maybe it wasn't the everlasting, earth-shattering, romantic love she'd heard of in stories, but she had never bought that courtly love thing anyway. She wouldn't let herself think of a certain thief as she looked Jon in the eyes.
"Alanna, I love you. You are the one woman who I have ever loved this way. I don't know how to explain to you how I love you. You've always been there for me, the most loyal person I know. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Jon took her face into his hands and kissed her. Alanna waited for the rush of emotion and desire she had always experienced when she and Jon were together, but it wasn't quite there. True, her heart beat faster and she enjoyed the kiss, but something was missing.
"Please, Alanna."
I swore to serve him in any way possible, Alanna thought. It's my duty.
"Jon," she took a big breath, "…Okay. I'll—I'll marry you."
I can't promise I can update really, really soon, but I will try. What do you think?