Author's Note: Today is May 17, Sasha Alexander's birthday. If you have a twitter account please send our favorite medical examiner a Happy Birthday from her Rizzles girls.
Disclaimer: As usual these characters are not mine but I greatly appreciate getting to play with them.
If You Could Read My Mind
If You Could Read my Mind, Love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell…*
"Hey, Janie, wait up!" Frankie Rizzoli called to his sister. Detective Jane Rizzoli slowed her steps to allow him to walk by her side.
"Hi, Frankie, what's up little bro?" she hugged him into a headlock and rubbed her knuckles over his perfectly combed hair.
"A bunch of us are going to karaoke night and wanted to know if you and Maura want to come," Frankie said, wrestling out of his sister's grasp. He hated when Jane messed up his hair but was used to it.
"I'll ask Maura, but I don't sing, Frankie, so don't try any tricks to get me up on stage," Jane warned. Frankie laughed.
"No problem, sis, I'm planning to be the singer in the family tonight."
"Really, Frankie? Last time I heard, your voice sounded like a gravel truck churning its load."
"Never underestimate your little brother's opportunity to sing to his new girlfriend," Frankie said. Jane's eyebrows went up.
"Oh, so that's it," Jane replied. "In that case I know I'll be there. I'll ask Maura."
"You'll ask Maura what?" said a voice behind them. Jane turned to see Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the Boston Police Department walking to join them. Impeccably dressed as always, Maura didn't have a hair out of place despite working a thirteen hour day to complete four autopsies of a family murdered in their beds.
"Frankie is planning to torture his new girlfriend with his horrid singing voice and has asked us to witness the event. Care to go?" Jane asked her best friend. As usual she had a hard time tearing her eyes off Maura. She was in love with her best friend although she didn't plan on ever telling Maura. Jane didn't want to chance ruining the best relationship she ever had, even if it remained platonic through their lifetime.
"Yes, it is karaoke night at the Robber, isn't it?" Maura turned to Frankie with a smile.
"Don't encourage him, Maura, Frankie can't sing. Are you trying to get rid of her?" Jane asked.
"Jane, I think it's very nice. Frankie is willing to let a weakness be known so that his new girlfriend knows how much he cares about her. I just wish someone would do that for me someday," Maura said. Jane's eyes narrowed as she thought of Maura with a serious boyfriend or husband. She struggled to remain in the conversation, oblivious to Maura's struggles with her own thoughts of Jane singing to her. Maura knew she loved Jane in a very un-friendlike sort of way but was afraid she'd scare away the one person who accepted her, quirks and all.
"I enjoy the Dirty Robber as much as the next person, Maura, as long as I can remain at the booth and enjoy the show without participating," Jane said. She looked at Frankie. "Give us an hour to change and we'll be there."
The Dirty Robber was crowded when they arrived but Jane saw Korsak waving them over to their favorite booth. She grabbed Maura's hand and led her to the table. Frost returned with a round of beers for the three cops and a glass of wine for Maura. Frost glanced at Maura quickly, taking in her beauty as she smiled her thanks for her wine. Frost liked Maura but everyone in the precinct, except Jane and Maura, knew Maura belonged to Jane. He just wished the two women would do something about it and be happy with each other.
The four sat discussing the day's case of the murdered family and the older son who'd been booked into custody for murder late that afternoon. They talked about family rivalries and how siblings could hate each other enough to kill. After a couple of drinks apiece Jane saw Frankie head to the stage and the microphone being turned on for karaoke night.
"Are we ready for some music?" Frankie yelled into the microphone and the crowd roared. Jane scanned the crowd and saw it was almost exclusively Boston PD cops and family members. Frankie stacked the crowd well, she thought. She knew the other cops would be complimentary to Frankie tonight, knowing why he was singing but she didn't want to be in his shoes for the coming weeks. Frankie was apt to be grilled and roasted over this, she knew.
He launched into a rousing chorus of "Glory Days" by Springsteen and got the crowd rolling. Maura leaned over to Jane.
"He's not bad!" she yelled enough for Jane to hear.
"Yeah, not bad when you're singing with the Boss. He can make anyone sound like a Grammy winner," Jane yelled back.
After a second fast song the pace slowed a bit.
"This is for my girlfriend, Carla," Frankie said as the opening melody of Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind" began.
Jane found herself following the words. It had been awhile since she heard this song but always liked it. She noticed Maura was into the tune, as well, a dreamy expression on her face as she followed Frankie's singing.
The tune ended and Frankie followed it with a kiss for his girlfriend. Everyone cheered.
"Well, folks, I gotta be going," Korsak said. "Us old folks tire earlier than you youngsters."
"Yeah, and Korsak's my ride so I'm going, too," Frost added.
"Night, guys," Jane said.
Jane and Maura sat in silence for awhile, watching others enjoying the karaoke, listening to the music. Having finished her beer Jane sat back against the booth and started humming "If You Could Read My Mind." She always liked the song and understood why Frankie chose it for his girlfriend. Maura watched Jane out of the corner of her eye.
"You know that song is sad," she remarked. Jane looked up.
"What song?"
"The one you're humming. The Gordon Lightfoot song."
"Oh. It is?" Jane hadn't thought about it.
"Late in the song he's telling his lover he's lost the feelings he had for her and he doesn't think he'll be able to get them back."
Jane thought for a moment. "Yeah, I see that. I wonder why I missed it before? I thought it was a romantic song."
"It is, up to a point. Plus his voice helps out that feeling."
"When I was in high school, Maura, I thought any slow song was romantic."
"I'm sure it was, Jane. You made out with your boyfriends to any slow song." Maura smiled at Jane. Jane started to try and deny it and ended up laughing instead.
"You know me too well, Maura. Just don't tell Ma, okay?" Jane reached across the table and grabbed Maura's hand.
"Come on, let's go to my place. We'll have some of Ma's leftovers and watch a movie." Maura looked delighted at Jane's suggestion.
They walked into Jane's apartment. Maura set her purse down while Jane went into the kitchen.
"Spaghetti and meatballs or lasagna?" Jane called out to Maura.
"Whatever you're having is fine, Jane," Maura called back. She saw the picture gallery on the mantel of Jane's fireplace and went to look at the photos. Several of her and Jane were there, as Maura knew. She remembered when all of the pictures were taken. One of her absolute favorites was the picture with the two of them mugging for the camera after winning a softball game against the vice squad. Both Jane and Maura had wide smiles for the camera. Maura remembered Jane's arm was around her waist and where her fingers pressed against Maura, Maura's nerves tingled. Maura knew she had feelings for Jane, her best friend, but would never tell Jane.
Jane came around the corner of the dining room with two plates of food in her hands. Setting them on the coffee table she retrieved eating utensils, a bottle of wine and two glasses.
"Dinner's ready, M," Jane said and plopped down on the sofa. Maura watched Jane for a moment. Jane poured the wine then settled with her plate in her lap. Placing her fork in the middle of her spaghetti Maura watched the noodles twirl around Jane's fork. Maura felt a sudden flash of heat roll through her body. One of the few times I've ever been jealous of a fork of spaghetti, she thought.
Jane looked up at Maura, smiled and patted the sofa next to her. "Come on, M, it's getting cold," she said. Maura perched on the edge of the sofa and started her own meal.
They ate in silence for a few moments. "You know, Jane, now that I think of it that song Frankie sang isn't quite as sad as I thought," Maura said.
"Hmm? How so?"
"At the end he's wishing they could go back and recapture their romance. 'If you read between the lines…I never thought I could feel this way...', it's kind of nice."
Jane thought for a moment. "You ever been in love, Maura?"
"No."
"Never? Wait, what about Garrett?"
"Like I said Jane, I was twenty. I know now I was never in love with him," Maura replied. Jane glanced at her. Maura had an amused smile on her face.
"More in love with the idea of being in love?"
"Yes, definitely. I wanted a connection with someone. Garrett comes along, he's in my social class, he's handsome, charming, witty…I didn't know what was important to me. Now I do," Maura said.
"Okay, so who's your ideal, Maura?" Jane asked. Her stomach flipped at the thought of Maura's reply but she had to know.
"It isn't looks, I-"
"What, is he ugly?"
"No, Jane, it's just that for me, beauty is on the inside. Sure, we all know that looks can attract someone superficially, but for me, true love is on the inside. So, to answer your question, Jane, I'm attracted to you."
Jane felt her heart squeeze and her stomach clench. "Maura, I'm attracted to you."
Maura cupped Jane's cheek and drew closer for a kiss. Their lips met briefly in a quick kiss. Drawing back for a breath both Jane and Maura leaned in again. Jane's hands ran through Maura's hair; Maura's hands settled around Jane's waist. Their kisses became more passionate until both women felt on fire. Jane stood, reaching back to grab Maura's hand. Wordlessly they headed to the bedroom.
Maura thought this day would never come. She'd been in love with Jane Rizzoli for so long it felt like a dream or a fantasy. She thanked her good luck this subject came up tonight for it gave her a chance to tell Jane how she felt about her.
Jane stopped at the foot of the bed and took Maura in her arms. Searching Maura's beautiful face she realized the enormity of the task she was about to undertake. Making love to Maura would never be a chore, she realized, but she didn't want to mess up their relationship. She knew then she wanted to spend her life making Maura happy and keeping her safe.
As her lips met Maura's Jane heard Maura humming the same tune, "If you could read my mind, love…" Jane lifted Maura in her arms and gently placed her on the bed.
"I think you read my mind, love, and this is the result," Jane said softly.
**"If You Could Read My Mind" is Gordon Lightfoot's song.