Breaking through the walls
Disclaimer: Don't own them just borrowing
Rating: K
Spoilers: Lady Heather's Box
Song: Lara Fabian: Unbreakable
Summary: After Eddie's death Catherine is still struggling with herself and how to let go of her past. Saying goodbye to her past proves harder than she thought. Luckily, Gil is there to help her get through it all and reach the other side – his.
--
"Outside
This room
No one ever sees the whole me
Only stronger side
But inside
This heart
There is much to know
About me
Words can not describe"
Grissom was walking down the empty halls of the lab, the day shift had already gone out on assignments, his own team had gone home an hour ago and he was just wrapping up a few things before heading home.
He passed Catherine's office. The blinds were down, the lights were out, she had obviously left for the night. He stopped for a second, had she said goodbye before she left? No. He was surprised, she always stopped by to say goodbye, and he couldn't remember a time when she hadn't. Sure when they had fought, but things had been fine between them for a long time. Or at least he thought so. He made a mental note to talk to her tonight after shift.
He was about to start walking again when he heard something. He frowned, it sounded like music, soft and almost unrecognizable. He stepped closer to the office door and put his ear to the door. Sure enough, it was music and his heart skipped a beat. He immediately knew it was her; he had heard her cry times enough to recognize the sound of her heart breaking.
"If you look
If you really read between the lines
You will see
This is just a disguise
A disguise
Taking a look beyond these eyes
It'll take you right around my heart
I feel
You should know
That I'm not unbreakable
It's hard for me to show the other side
Telling you but it isn't lie You
You know
That I'm not unbreakable"
For a second he contemplated what to do although he knew what he wanted to all along. He opened the door and steeped into the dark office and quietly closed the door behind him. She was laying on her couch, her back towards him, softly crying as the song he had heard kept playing on repeat.
"I'm scared and frightened
Who will give this soul asylum
Protect me beyond these walls
Can't stand this breaking and falling
All of these mistakes I'm making
Finally crystallize"
He was at her side in an instant. He sat down on the couch and felt her stiffen trying to calm herself to stop the sobs wracking through her body.
"Catherine, please don't cry," he whispered trying to get her turn around and face him.
"Gil, please just leave me" her response surprised him. But he wasn't going to just leave her there.
"Catherine, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You are allowed to grieve, you do know that, right?" That earned him a small smile, and she turned to face him.
"I feel... I don't know what I feel" she whispered, tears streaming down her face.
"Everyone seems to think I would be jumping up and down from joy, but all I can do is cry. Gil, what is wrong with me?" Gil gathered her in his arms and felt her cling to him, her arms reaching around his back and neck, her hands clutching the fabric of his shirt, her fingers digging into his body. She couldn't get close enough.
"Now I look
I really read between the lines
Now I see
I don't need to disguise
No disguise
Taking a look beyond these eyes
It'll take you right around my heart
I feel
You should know
That I'm not unbreakable
It's hard for me to show the other side
Telling you that it isn't lie You
Do you know
That I'm not unbreakable""Catherine let me take you home" he whispered into her hair. He felt her stiffen in his arms.
"Just home, you need sleep, I just want to make sure you're alright, please Catherine, let me do this for you." He felt her relax and her crying even out as she realized he wasn't going to leave her.
"Where's Lindsey?" he asked her.
"Nancy is staying with her until I come home, which is kind of why I had to stay here today. I couldn't let Lindsey see me like this. She already saw me last night. God, Gil she was the one comforting me last night." He could hear the tears in her voice again.
He gently stood and pulled her to her feet supporting her as he reached over and grabbed her purse and jacket.
"Let's get out of here." They got to his car in a couple of minutes. She gestured for her car, but he told her to leave it, he would be driving her home and to work tonight. She agreed without much fuss.
The drive home was quiet. His one hand was clasped between hers as he drove though the city. Her face turned away from his starring into the sunrise and the soft sunlight hitting the road in front of them.
Arriving at home he got out and went around to her side. He grabbed her hand and they walked hand in hand into the house.
"Hey Nancy" Catherine softly greeted her sister with a small hug her one hand still attached to Gil's hand. Nancy's eyes seeking out Gil's and her mouth soundlessly formed the words Thank you.
"Let's get you to bed" Nancy said and pulled Catherine slightly towards the bedrooms.
"Gil?" Catherine's voice was almost pleading.
"I'll be here" he reassured her and saw how her eyes thanked him and began to follow Nancy down the hallway.
"Nancy why don't you go with Catherine, I'll go see if Lindsey is up. She will be able to say goodnight to you and then I'll make her breakfast, how does that sound?"
Catherine let go of Nancy's hand and ran back into Gil's embrace.
"Thank you" she whispered into his chest. She felt herself being picked up and relaxed into his embrace as he carried her to her bedroom. Once there he gave her a soft kiss on the lips and left her with Nancy.
He walked to the door and turned around seeing Nancy and Catherine speaking together with hushed voices. He went to Lindsey's bedroom and gently opened the door. He saw Lindsey stir and walked into the room and sat down next to her bed.
"Uncle Gil" Lindsey opened her eyes and smiled at him.
"Are you here to help my mommy?" She asked her eyes watching him intensely. His heart broke, knowing he should have been here all along.
"Yes" he answered. Simple but true.
He felt Lindsey throw herself into his arms and held her close as she took broke down in tears. He knew he had stayed away because of his own fear of rejection, but now he saw what that had done to the two he loved more than anything else, and he was never leaving again.
Maybe now with Eddie out of the picture they could finally be the family he had longed for. In the bedroom Catherine fell asleep with the exact same wish and a small smile on her face.
"Uncle Gil," he looked into Lindsey's big blue eyes.
"Can I have pancakes for breakfast?" she asked her eyes pleading with his.
"You know what, that was exactly what I was thinking" he told her and gave her a small kiss on the nose.
She squealed and jumped out of his embrace and ran towards the kitchen. He stopped at Catherine's bedroom door and took one long glace at the sleeping form.
"Now
There's no where else to hide
Nothing more to fight
Being alive
That I'm not unbreakable
It's hard for me to show the other side
I'm telling that it isn't lie
Read me you'll know
That I'm not unbreakable
You read me you'll know
That I'm not unbreakable
You read me you'll know
That I'm not unbreakable"
"Uncle Gil are you coming?" he softly closed the bedroom door and walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. When he saw Lindsey covered in flour and small chocolate dots he smiled because he knew they were going to be all right.