The Ugly Duckling
The earliest memory Wally has where she realizes she might be different is Christmas morning eleven years ago. She's four and smiling excitedly as she tears through the wrapping paper -ignoring her mom asking that she please save the wrapping paper- and all but rips open the box in her excitement. It's a bright red fire truck a realistic model that even has a siren. She's happy about it mostly, but she can't help but feel maybe a little disappointed because all she really wanted was a Barbie Doll.
Her disappointment however is short lived because she simply doesn't have the attention span to be upset about it long enough. Plus there are at least eight other presents under the tree addressed to her. Though she hadn't realized it yet that dull ache in her chest that Wally associates with being denied a Barbie Doll -with the matching accessories- wasn't going to go away. It was going to fester and grow till soon it's all she was.
The second time Wally thinks that maybe she might be a little weird she's six years old. She comes back from baseball practice covered in dirt her mom makes her take a shower -even though she doesn't really need one. She takes off her clothes and is suddenly struck by the sight of her naked body in the mirror. Something just feels off, wrong somehow, and it makes that dull ache in her chest throb, at the time she doesn't realize it but it grows a little more in that moment.
When she's in the shower she can't stop thinking about the Ugly Duckling even though she's not sure why. When it's time for bed she asks her mom to read it for her -and it's definitely not a bed time story because those are for babies- and for some reason unbeknownst to her it makes her cry. It twists a pain in her gut like no other and that dull ache in her chest grows just a little more.
It's not until she's ten that Wally realizes that there's something wring with her. That she's not just a little weird or little bit off that she's not different. When Wally turns ten years old she realizes that she's a freak of nature.
She's off at a friend's house playing in their pool and Rodney thinks it's a good idea to do a canon ball -his swim trunks resurface before he does. Everyone laughs, even Wally, because that was the kind of thing people taped and sent into America's Funniest Home Videos. Then when he steps out of the pool and reaches for his swim trunks to slip them back on Wally catches her first glimpse of a naked body. It's looks weird and alien to her it didn't look normal or rather it didn't look like her own body, that she had grown accustomed to seeing. And the only reason she didn't say anything was because no one else did. Nobody else thought it was weird or alien or even remotely strange, which must have meant they all thought it was normal.
And that had to mean she was the weird one, the one with an alien body.
When she gets home she inspects her body looks at it from head to toe inspecting smooth freckled tan skin. She feels her genitals in her hands, both of them, and she feels all wrong. She feels like an alien and knows that she most look like a freak. And that dull ache in her chest rears it's ugly head again it sends a searing pain through her chest that brings tears to her eyes and forces her to her knees unable to catch her breath.
That night she asks her mom about it. In a small quiet and broken voice she asks her mom "Where does that extra part come from?" she asks if this meant she was a freak. Then she asks in a hoarse whisper, voice cracking from the dry sobs she tore from her throat in the bathroom earlier, "Am I really a boy?" And Wally doesn't think she'll ever be able to forget that moment. Because it's the first time she's ever seen her mom cry before.
Marry gathers Wally close to her chest with shaking arms and rocks them both slowly from side to side she says she's sorry. She calls Wally her 'sweet baby boy'. But Wally's not so sure she likes that, because she doesn't feel like a boy, she's pretty sure she feels more like a girl. But she's not so sure if pointing this out o her mom is an okay idea, so she stays silent and let's her mom rock her to sleep.
And all the while that dull ache that lives inside her chest throbs and grows a little more.
A/N: Yes even more angst I know but meh. This idea has kind of been stabbing me in the back of the head and forced me to get off my lazy ass and write it myself. I'm not so sure it's done yet though. Anyway I hope you enjoy.