The Art of Compartmentalization

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and plot points belong to Marvel and its writers.

Skye stared blankly at her computer screen, fingers poised but frozen over the keys. She knew there was work to be done, but she couldn't seem to make her mind focus for more than a few minutes before it wondered back to Coulson. The man had the ability of being simultaneously cool and the most aggravating person in the world. Now that he'd become the new director things had been different, not that she hadn't expected different.

She knew S.H.I.E.L.D. was virtually in shambles with every non-Hydra agent being hunted down by the U.S. government. It couldn't be easy having Coulson's job and being in charge of rebuilding an entire agency while still trying to protect the whole world. Fury must have thought he could do it if he went to all the trouble of handing what was left over to Coulson. Skye didn't doubt her leader's competency, only wondered how it was all going to play out in a good way.

As she sat on top of the table, papers strewn everywhere, she thought about how easy they'd really had it before S.H.I.E.L.D. had fallen. Sure, she may have been a criminal turned consultant with no friends or family but she'd felt like she belonged to something greater than herself. A cause worth fighting for, maybe even dying for. Coulson had helped her see that. He'd become a great mentor, a light in the darkness that was her past. He had the gift of seeing the good in every person and every situation and he'd apparently seen it in her. He told her she had the same gift despite her skepticism. It wasn't until she'd read Tobias Ford's motives as easy as breathing that she finally saw what he was talking about. Coulson was probably one of the best men she'd ever known and knew he would make the perfect director.

Coulson was the perfect balance between compassionate and fierce. The man seemed to always know when to fight and when to stand down. He was kind and friendly but knew how to be unyielding when the situation called for it. It's what she had always admired about him. It was all those things that made her want to be just like him. They'd been kindred spirits since pretty much day one and it had been a connection that had always confused her. They were two very different people with very different lives but when he'd offered her a place on his team, she'd found herself wanting to stay, wanting to impress him and get him to like her. She'd strived like an insecure child for her father's approval and he'd willingly given it.

Ever since he'd taken the responsibilities of director though, Skye had started seeing less and less of Coulson. She knew he had important things to do like recruitment that included him having to meet with people in person but she couldn't help but feel a little put out at his distance. Even when he returned to the Playground, he hardly ever left his office and when he did it was only to have a secretive conversation with May.

Deep down, she knew she was probably being unfair about him giving little to no time to her. It was childish to want him by her side with that comforting presence that she missed so much. She felt the distance between them like a widening chasm. She missed the times when they could just sit in the reclined back seats of the SUV, basking in their usual amiable silence.

The past couple of weeks he'd barely even spared a glance at her other than to ask about projects he had her working on for him. She couldn't remember the last time they sat down and had a conversation like actual human beings. Skye tried not to let it bother her. She made jokes about it, mentioned it sarcastically a time or two but nothing ever came of it. May had given her a look and told her to lay off him for a while and that he had a lot on his plate right now. Skye wasn't trying to be annoying or a nuisance, she was just worried about him. Whenever she did get a glimpse of him, he wasn't himself and it had unnerved her.

After almost three weeks of silence he'd shown up at her work area, a virtually blank expression on his face, which was honestly pretty normal for him. Coulson had spoken her name as way of greeting but the tone wasn't like anything she'd ever heard from him before. It wasn't cold but neither was it really warm, the tone was neutral. It didn't sound like a greeting to a friend he hadn't visited with in over a month.

She didn't want to be a baby about it but his cool greeting had stung her. Skye wasn't used to him being so distant with her and then he'd asked her to speak with Ward. Acting like it was the easiest thing in the world to ask of her and his attitude had bugged her slightly. After that little interaction, she'd really started to wonder what had crawled up his ass.

Of course, like a good little agent she'd done as ordered and spoken with the traitor, but she most certainly had not been happy about it. When she told him that, he'd simply shrugged and said her distaste was duly noted. She was starting to wonder how much longer she would be able to handle this new version of her mentor.

Skye had resolved that today she was finally going to get up the nerve to confront him about his strange attitude and distant behavior. She really wanted the old Coulson back. She was supposed to be taking up some new information about the mysterious carvings and she planned on it along with a piece of her mind to go with it. Enough was enough.

With a new sense of purpose and courage, she strutted out of the room, almost colliding with Trip who had been coming to look for her. He smiled in greeting, but his face quickly sobered when he got a glance at her own expression.

His eyebrows rose. "What's up?" he asked, knowing the calm before the storm when he saw it.

She returned his smile with strained ease. "Nothing, just heading up to the boss man. He asked for an update on my assignment." She held up her tablet for emphasize.

Trip cocked his head. "Huh, and here I thought you were on a war path and was hoping I wasn't the target of your frustration."

Skye winced. "Was I that obvious?"

His lips twitched, his shoulders rolling slightly. "It was sorta written all over your face. Wanna tell me about the beef you have with Coulson? I thought you two were close."

"We were close...I mean we are close. He's just been way more distant with me than he's ever been before, and I don't know why. I wanna know what's bothering him, and why he hasn't spared me a second glance since he got back two weeks ago."

Trip rubbed his chin. "Maybe he's just busy. Ever think of that?"

She threw him a glare. "I've seen what he's like busy and this is definitely more than that. Something is going on with him, and since May won't spill the beans then I'm going to find out on my own." Skye suddenly looked sad. "I thought he trusted me enough to start telling me things. He said he trusted me with his life, but I'm starting to notice a difference between life and information."

"He's the director. I'm pretty sure there's probably some rule that says he has to keep things from his agents. I don't think it's personal or that it's a trust issue, Skye. He's just trying to protect us."

She met his gaze, a fire behind her dark eyes. "Yeah well, that may be but it won't stop me from finding out what he's keeping from me. He's not just the director to me; he's also my friend and friends don't keep secrets from friends, not if he wants my help."

Trip raised his hands up in surrender. "Easy, girl. I'm not trying to talk you out of it. I'm just reminding you of some things before you go and jump down the man's throat for keeping secrets from you." He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. "Do whatever you need to do, Skye. You won't hear any blow back from me."

She nodded, turning to go. "I'll catch you later, Trip."

He inclined his head, a smirk on his lips. "Sure thing, girl. Take it easy on Coulson." When she disappeared around the corner he chuckled, whispering to himself. "Man, what I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall."

…

Skye hesitated for the first time, during her way to Coulson's office. Pausing at his door, her hand was frozen in the position to knock. She didn't know what caused her sudden secondguessing. He was definitely alone, she'd passed May downstairs talking to one of the Koenigs and no one else ever came up to see him.

Taking a deep breath, she schooled her facial expression and rapped gently on the door. She tried to stop her shoulders from tensing when she heard him call for her to come inside. When she slipped through the door and shut it gently behind her, she glanced across the room to see him seated at his desk.

He was looking down at a file instead of at her, but she knew he must know who was there and the reason for her presence. Finally, he glanced up at her, his expression blank but calm as his eyes scanned quickly over her before coming to stop on her tablet.

"You said you had something to show me?" he asked, as way of greeting and she barely contained the flinch at his lukewarm, professional tone.

"Hi to you too, sir," she mumbled sarcastically, almost rolling her eyes before she caught sight of his slightly stern facial expression. She just barely managed to appear chastised, coming closer to his desk and holding out the tablet.

Taking it from her, he stared at it for a second. "What exactly am I looking at here?"

Skye sighed. "It's a painting I found during my search for the strange carvings." She reached across and with a quick swipe of her hand, moved to the next picture on the screen.

"Those carvings were on the back," she went on when he did nothing but stare at the picture she'd just shown him.

"Is there any way to tell if they're fresh?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he zoomed in on the carvings.

She shook her head. "No, at least not without the actual painting." He frowned, handing the tablet back to her.

"Well, try your best to track down that painting and continue looking for more. If we can find a connection between the carvings and the Obelisk, then we'll be one step closer to figuring this whole thing out fast."

"Already way ahead of you, AC. I'm tracking down that painting as we speak, as well as anything else with those carvings on it." She folded her hands behind her back.

He nodded, already looking away from her again. "Good work, Skye." He said softly, almost sounding like the friend and mentor she remembered, but she knew it was a comment as well as a dismissal.

She inclined her head and went for the door but paused with her hand on the knob. Before she lost her nerve, Skye let go and turned back to him, waiting for him to notice that she was still standing there watching him. A minute passed before he looked back up, his hand putting the pen down on the table.

"Is there something else you needed, Agent Skye?" he asked and she took his formal use of her name as a dare to not back down.

"I wanted to talk to you," she said, and she hated how weak her voice sounded.

He sighed. "Now's not a good time."

She took a step closer. "Now's as good a time as any. Please, it's important." She pulled her puppy dog eyes out, hoping they would do the trick.

After a second of staring into her eyes, he crumbled. "Fine, what is it?" Her stomach did a little flip; maybe her AC was still in there somewhere after all.

She decided a softer approach might be in order or, judging by the look on his face, he might shut her down before she even really began. "I…uh…was wondering how you were doing? You've been staying busy these past few weeks and we haven't really gotten the chance to talk. I guess I just miss the way we used to hangout." She hated how her statement sounded like she was a petulant child pleading for attention.

He rubbed a tired hand down his face, sighing deeply. "Skye, you know as well as I do that there hasn't been time to chat with all that has been going on; SHIELD being in shambles, HYDRA wreaking havoc, the U.S. government out on a witch hunt for us, the hunt for the Obelisk…I could continue but I won't get into what you already know. I have new responsibilities as Director and I have to start taking them seriously if I'm going to have any chance at bringing the agency back to its former glory…"

She broke in before he could go further. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you stop being the Phil Coulson that I knew and admired. Look, I know Ward's betrayal and the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. have been particularly hard on you, and stuff like that can change a man, but that doesn't give you an excuse to stop being who you are. You haven't been the same since Fury handed over the reins and I'm not sure I like this new you."

His jaw tightened and she thought that he might look angry with her. "I'm not saying that I'm not ecstatic that you've been given one of the greatest honors an agent can receive. I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you, but you've let it change you and I don't think for the better." She put her hands on the desk, leaning over slightly to get a point across. "When Fury gave you S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't think he was looking for a repeat performance of what he'd already done. He probably knew better than anyone that if SHIELD could be put back together at all by someone, that someone would be you. He chose you for a reason because he expected that you would do things different from him. He believed you could do it better than him so prove him right. Be the director he always meant for you to be not the director you think he wants you to be. Don't try to be the next Nick Fury when Phil Coulson will do the job just fine."

Skye realized a little too late that she pretty much just verbally vomited on her director and from the look on his face he was just as shocked by her outburst as she was. He seemed at a loss for words for a few seconds so she let it sink in for a moment.

"Wow…that was…not what I was expecting," he said, sounding so much like his old self that she had the sudden irrational urge to throw her arms around his neck and never let go.

His eyebrows pulled together. "That was seriously profound. You really do have an uncanny ability to read people. May pretty much said the same thing to me earlier but not quite like that. You really don't pull any punches do you?" He sounded like he was kind of in awe of her and slightly amused.

She shrugged. "It gets the job done most of the time so I don't complain. I figured we were passed sugar coated conversations and graduating to drop kicking revelations. Sometimes people need a little bit more than a push to see the truth. May taught me that."

His lips quirked. "I said you'd be really good at it one day."

"I'm working on becoming the best," she said, letting herself smile genuinely at him; glad that after everything they could still have moments like this.

His face sobered. "I understand what you're saying, Skye, and I hear you loud and clear. I thought I could be the next Nick Fury but turns out not so much." The side of his mouth pulled up. "I'm beginning to see though that maybe that's not such a bad thing."

"I really missed you, AC," she admitted after a moment of silence, deciding that if they were doing this honesty thing, she might as well iron it out for him. She laid the tablet on the seat that was to her left.

He rose out of the swivel chair, coming around the desk to stand in front of her. His lips pressed together firmly as he studied her face, his head cocking slightly to the side as he rocked back on his heels. His hand reached for her arm but just before his fingers brushed her skin, she was already launching herself at him, her arms coming around his shoulders.

Coulson grunted from the sudden loss of breath and unexpected impact but without much thought let his hands come up around her back. As his chin rested against her head, he let a small smile grace his lips. He may not have realized it before but he missed the way things used to be and yeah, maybe some things changed, but that didn't mean what they had between them had to change too. Maybe he didn't have to compartmentalize every little thing.

"I missed you too, Skye."

"Does this mean you'll tell me what you've been keeping from me?" she asked hopefully, pulling out of the hug to look at him in the eye.

He shook his head. "Nice try, Skye, but there I some things only a director should know." At her glare he elaborated. "It's nothing personal; for your protection and the rest of the team's."

"Really? How's that working for you exactly? Keeping all those things locked up tight and not being able to tell another soul because it might compromise their safety."

"Some days are better than others but if it gets really bad I tell May," he responded, his expression unperturbed by her frustration.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you tell her but not me."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Is that what this is really about? You think I'm keeping you out of the loop just for kicks? I'm keeping you out to protect you. That's all I ever wanted, was for you to be as safe and happy as possible. That plan sort of goes down the drain if I tell you every horrible thing I've had to deal with the past few months. I tell May the things that I can't handle on my own because compartmentalization only gets me so far."

She frowned. "Do you think I can't handle it? That I haven't already experienced the worst possible things in my life?" Her brown eyes were wild and desperate to understand.

His hands grasped tightly to her arms. "Of course not, Skye. That's exactly why I don't want to tell you." His expression suddenly looked terribly pained. "It's not that I don't think you can face it, it's that I don't want you to have to. I can't protect you from everything but what I do have control over I would like to shield you from."

A second passed between them before her expression softened and she swiftly wiped at her watery eyes. "Pun intended?" she asked, cracking a wavering grin that he returned with a soft chuckle. It wouldn't hurt to lighten the mood, she was tired of feeling like she was at her wits end. She couldn't imagine how Coulson felt.

He squeezed her shoulders. "Yeah, pun intended, kid." He seemed glad for the reprieve from the heightened emotions and intense stare downs. Humor was always a good fallback.

"I've never had someone care enough about me to go to these extents to protect me. I…" She trailed off, heat rising in her cheeks under his gaze. "It feels really…nice." Skye couldn't stop the warmth spreading through her chest, his explained actions confirming what she'd already known deep in her heart. His priorities would always include protecting her.

She realized that even though he wasn't one for getting particularly mushy about personal feelings, she knew he had a certain style. He'd protected Audrey from the mad man obsessed with her. He'd taken a staff through the heart for his precious Avengers. He'd stepped between her and a vengeful, wrench wielding spirit. It was in his nature it seemed to protect the people he cared about. She really wouldn't want it any other way. It made her feel loved, it made her feel like she was important to someone; like if she died there would be at least one person who would miss her.

Coulson raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything other than to give a nod and smile as he slowly let go of her arms. He stepped back around his desk and sat down, his eyes settling on her young face once again. She reached down and picked up the tablet.

She folded her arms behind her back. "I guess I'll see you later?" she said, posing it more as a question, not bothering to disguise her hopefulness.

"I'll be down later to update the team on all the further developments," he confirmed, his hands reaching for a stack of papers in front of him.

She headed for the door but right before she reached for the handle, she turned back to him. "AC?" she said, needing to say one more thing. He glanced up from the papers, one eyebrow poised as he watched her. "I just wanted to say…thanks…for everything."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled genuinely at her and he dropped the papers back on the table, leaning back in the chair. She grinned back before exiting the room and closing the door behind her. When he was alone, Coulson let his head rest against the chair, taking a deep breath and feeling lighter than he had in months.

Skye had that effect on people. The power to make anyone see the light in the darkest of corners. It was a good trait to have and her presence was a constant reminder that asking her to join the team was one of the best choices of his life. Somewhere along the way she'd become family; they all had really, and he couldn't find himself to be bothered by that in the slightest bit. It was something he'd never fanciest himself having but he couldn't be more thankful or proud of his little makeshift family.

He may never say it aloud in so many words, but he really liked that kid.

"You're welcome," he said quietly to the empty room.

END