Sooner or Later
By: Crusher1701
Word Count: 1660
Summary: Sooner or later, Jean-Luc Picard would make a move for the woman he loved. But when their time came, it would be Beverly who would make the move, despite her grief.
The first time he saw Jack with Beverly, he was jealous. Beverly was like a woman from his dreams come to life, and yet she was with his best friend, Jack Crusher. Of course she wasn't with him, why would she be? He was almost 19 years older than her and couldn't give her what Jack could. He could give her a family, Jean-Luc (as commanding officer of the stargazer) could not. He wasn't even sure if he would want to give her a family, or just be selfish and keep her all to himself. She was very beautiful and he knew he wanted her, but he wouldn't make a move whilst she was still with Jack. Sooner or later, she would realize that she was too beautiful for him and they would break up.
When Jack and Beverly announced their engagement, Jean-Luc was beyond the point of jealous. He wanted to be the one marrying Beverly. He would give her more. She would be the Captain's wife if she married him. She would be the Captain's wife and a successful doctor at Starfleet (though she could be successful on her own) if she married him. But the pair looked so happy with themselves, each other, and their engagement that he suppressed his feelings and smiled, congratulating them. Perhaps there was still a chance for him. Sooner or later, Beverly would realize that Jack couldn't give her everything she wanted and she would call off the engagement.
When Jack and Beverly got married, Jean-Luc doubted Beverly's intelligence briefly (in his jealousy), before correcting his thoughts. He had never expressed to her how he felt, so she could not be expected to break things off with Jack for him. So, there he stood, the dutiful best friend, delivering his best man speech. He didn't even look at Jack that much, his eyes on Beverly almost the entire time. She looked so beautiful and happy, not knowing that the man who was delivering his speech held so much more love for her than the man she was now married to did. Oh, he wished he had spoken up when they had asked for any reason why Jack and Beverly should not be married to one another. He should have told her that he loved her then, but he was a coward and didn't. Perhaps it was too late, but perhaps sooner or later, she would find that Jack wasn't able to give her what he said he would give her, and then she would leave Jack for him, the man that loved her more than anything.
When Beverly told Jack that she was pregnant, Jean-Luc felt sick to his stomach. Beverly would never leave Jack now that they were to have a child, unless Beverly found a good enough reason to leave Jack and make it so that their child would grow up without a father. If he cheated on her, that might work. But lying and telling her that Jack was cheated would only make her mad at him when she found out. And maybe, Jack really could give her what she wanted, she seemed happy that she was pregnant. It was too late, there was no sooner or later left. But Jean-Luc was still selfish and still wanted Beverly, all to himself. No Jack, no child, just Beverly- not Crusher, but Picard.
*
A few years later, when Jean-Luc brought Jack Crusher's lifeless body back to Starbase 32 and went to tell Beverly, he couldn't stop his selfish mind from thinking 'what if?'
What if Beverly fell into his arms, begging for him to help her through this? What if she decided she didn't want her son to grow up without a father and begged him to be a father to Wesley? What if he said yes, not caring that there was a child, only caring about the fact that this was it, their time was now? But what if Beverly hated him forever because he had gotten Jack killed by sending him out on an away mission? So many what ifs that would end positively for him, and one that wouldn't. Jean-Luc's real fear was Beverly rejecting him, which exposed his true feelings for her. He was never afraid of anything, except the possibility of rejection from Beverly.
The only way to beat your fears is to face them. For Jean-Luc, that naturally meant that he needed to face the possibility of being rejected by Beverly. As he told her of Jack's death, sitting there in their sitting room, he saw her cry for the very first time. Her tears terrified him, how should he deal with them? What kind of friend was he if he took advantage of Beverly whilst she was mourning her husband? Then again, what kind of friend would he be to Beverly if he didn't comfort her whilst she was mourning Jack? He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. When Beverly asked him to accompany her to Starbase 32 to see Jack, he accepted, selfish for wanting to spend time with her.
That night, leaving Beverly and little Wesley (who looked so much like his father already) was the hardest thing. A grieving widow/mother with a son that didn't truly understand that his father wasn't ever coming home again.
He saw her again when they left for Starbase 32 the next day to see Jack's body, again unsure of what to do when he saw the tears in her eyes. Eventually, he decided that putting his arm around her couldn't do too much damage, if he made sure she knew it was only friendly. He wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm gently until her head fell to his shoulder. Though Beverly had made the move, Jean-Luc felt as though it was a betrayal to the man lying dead in front of them. When they left, he took her back to her home before saying goodbye again. Starfleet would handle the funeral, so that would be the next time he would see her.
When the day of Jack's funeral came around, he offered to help Beverly with dealing with the people who would come to pay their respects to her. She thanked him and accepted his help since she didn't want people talking to Wesley about the situation. He could be a sensitive child and she didn't want to upset him more on that day. During the service, Jean-Luc did a lot of thinking.
Jack's death was not their 'what if'. It was not their sooner or later. This was not their perhaps. This was certainly not their time. He was a terrible friend to both Jack and Beverly for thinking of his death as being any of those things. He hated himself, but even all of that was not enough to make him fall out of love with Beverly. He would never stop loving her.
At the end of the day, when Beverly and Jean-Luc sat in the Crusher's sitting room, completely worn out, they were quiet. Beverly had poured them each a glass of wine and had apologized for her tear streaked and splotchy face over and over, and Jean-Luc had told her that it was fine. He had wanted to say that she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, but he didn't. As they sat there quietly, Beverly moved closer and closer to him. Thankfully, she had already sent Wesley to bed, so there was no chance of him coming in and asking questions. The closer she got, the more the alarm bells in Jean-Luc's head went off. What was she doing? Was she trying to make a move on him? Was she trying to get him to hold her in comfort? He was utterly confused. He wished she would explain, but she remained silent. He didn't want to ask in case it broke the spell. No, this wasn't a spell. It couldn't be. It was insane to think so.
As he was thinking all this, he didn't notice that Beverly was moving her head closer to him, until her lips met his. His eyes closed against his better judgement and he wrapped his arms around her. She didn't break the kiss and neither did he, they only deepened their embrace. Beverly pulled back after a few moments and took his hand, leading him from the sitting room, through the hall and up the stairs. Finally, he realized that she was taking him to the bedroom- no, the guest room where he had stayed a handful of times. She opened the door and entered, shutting and locking it behind them. She obviously had a plan. She helped Jean-Luc remove his uniform, urging him silently to help her with hers. Once they were naked, Beverly pulled him onto the bed with her, kissing him and touching him, Jean-Luc slowly responding and doing the same. He parted her legs with his hands and settled between them, glad when she wrapped her legs around him. He pulled back and waited for her consent, which she gave enthusiastically. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers again as he gently thrust into her, making the two of them moan against each other's lips. The two of them quickly got used to the other and created a rhythm that would suggest they had been lovers for quite some time before Jean-Luc and Beverly came closely together.
As Jean-Luc collapsed into Beverly's arms after giving her a brief kiss, he realized that perhaps Jack's death had been the time for him and Beverly. It still made him feel like a horrible friend, but now all of his what ifs were positive that would end well for him, with Beverly by his side. The two of them fell asleep and Jean-Luc hoped that he wouldn't ever be jealous of another man when it came to Beverly Crusher ever again.
finis.