Don't look at me.
Don't.
Just don't.
Just…
I feel your eyes upon me.
Oh how I wish…
She grasps your hand.
To mark what is hers.
She smiles.
And glares at me behind your back.
She knows.
I sit with him.
He wraps his hand around my wrist.
Caresses the pulse point.
He whispers into my ear.
I pretend to smile.
I know you're watching.
He takes my chin into his hand,
turns my head to face him.
"You're mine", he whispers.
He knows.
She barely touches her dinner.
You attempt to excuse yourself early,
but she refuses, latching on to your arm,
keeping you within a refined distance.
I see your smile.
I see the strain in your eyes,
as you attempt to fool your company.
To see you as the doting man to his woman.
I watch you. And turn away.
He frowns at me.
"You're mine", he says.
I feel his hand creeping up my thigh beneath the table.
Sitting at the bar, she orders your drink.
Makes small talk with your guests.
Laughs delightedly while she strokes her leg against yours.
I feel your eyes upon me.
Don't.
You can't look at me.
You can't want me.
Don't…
Our eyes meet.
I see the pain there.
The longing.
And I know you see it too.
How unhappy I am without you.
How much…
we need…
each other…
He stands to leave, but I refuse.
He attempts to drag me away.
But I refuse.
"I will ruin you", he whispers.
But I am already ruined.
Angry, he grabs his coat,
pays the bill,
storms out, cursing.
I look at you, but meet her eyes instead.
She grabs more firmly onto your arm.
And glares.
I watch her mouth the words.
"He's mine."
I grab my jacket.
And head for the elevator.
Don't.
Don't look at me.
You can't.
I won't be able to look away.
I ride to my floor.
In the hallway, I slump to the floor outside a closet.
The memory of your eyes in my head.
Your wonderful, forbidden gaze.
I throw my tie across the hall.
The elevator dings.
And you step out.
I knew you would.
"I saw him leave."
I look up.
"I left him."
You put your hands in your pockets, and stand unsteady.
Your tie matches your eyes.
You never wore ties when we were together.
You wore my t-shirts and my jeans, and my cologne.
And I wore yours.
I smell me on you still.
Just as I smell you on my pillow at night…
still…
"I…" you begin.
"Will you leave her?"
"I can't…"
"Or you won't?"
"I shouldn't…"
"According to who?"
You look at me. Why do you keep staring?
Don't.
Don't look at me.
And then have to look away.
"It's not that simple…"
"It's the only simple thing."
I bow my head. But you don't bend to see if I'm okay.
I whisper.
"I miss us." "I miss you."
I look up, and you turn away.
I attempt to stand on shaky feet.
"I love you. More than she ever could."
"You said you loved me once. I left him for you. Because it's worth it. It always will be because it always was."
"Will you leave her?" I caress your check. You close your eyes.
"Am I worth it?"
You back away. The elevator dings. The doors open.
And you go back to her.
Am I worth it?
.
.
.
.
.
.
I cry into the shower wall. And let the warmth overtake me. Like your arms used to wrap around me.
I reach for the soap.
But you stand there instead.
Fully dressed. In my shower.
I see tears on your cheek.
"I left her."
The water rains around us.
"You are worth it. Always."
And I reach for you.
As we lay in afterglow.
I watch your eyes flutter open and close.
Sleep weighs heavy on us.
You look at me.
And smile.
Don't.
Don't look away.
Close your eyes.
Wake up to me tomorrow.
Sleep with me always.
A/N: First NCIS fanfiction, so please review and let me know what you think. I love positive criticism and praise.
Obviously this was a slash story, Gibbs/Tony, because they are my favorite playthings.
Who the woman and the man were, I will leave up to your imagination.
Hope you enjoyed!
sl
Disclaimer: NCIS is the property of Donald P. Bellisario and Don McGill.