Authors Note: 'Ello ducky! Its been a while since we last talked, no? Alrighty then. My last fic ended off when Kagome and Kikio suddenly died of Sesshoumaru poisioning. O well. And Sesshy and Inu lived happily ever after. Well, Ed and Roy have felt the need to one up my story, and now I, on three benadril and the flu, have decided to fufil their needs, while becommming very drowsy. Any way, onto the crackfic!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but some damn good benadril...

Ed and Roy were laying on their fooking hooge beed looking very satisfied when in came Al, with about a dozen cats hanging from his limbs.

"Brother they wont go awy and I...uhhhh...are you sleeping with the Colonel???" Al asked, suddenly dropping all twelve cats.

"No, we werent sleeping togeather. We were fucking, and I personally was enjoying it very mucho, Alllllphonse." Ed said giggling.

Al pointed at the now smoking Colonel.

"You...you...it...Ed...you didnt really...What was is like?" alphonse almost peed himslef with excitement.

"Gather round, childern! Ill tell you a tale never to be forgotten!" Mustang called, as his entire sqad including Breeda and Falman filed into his room. Hawkeye almost passed out when she saw Ed on the bed.

"Ed...you...ahhhhh! Thats lyke ssooooo nasty! He's lyke the lyke one who killed my parentss and lyke stuff! And lyke hes lyke older then you! Ewww!" Winry's shrill cry ended when Roy quickly snapped his fingers, burning the bitch to a crisp.

"Fucking whore. Any way, I just got laid, by the military's sexiest short person ever!" The man immeadiatly slapped Edwards ass and torched Hawkeye, "Now everybody out so I can do it again!"

Everyone left and that started a whole new rousing game of butt darts with the two. Hooray.

Authors note: Well that was fucked up...