Author's Note: So this is a kind of bittersweet story of Jibbs through the years. The song is Need You Now, by Lady Antebellum. I personally think that it is an awesome song, and I started writing this before I saw their official video. I recommend listening to the song- but it is your choice. There aren't really any spoilers, unless you just haven't seen seasons 3-5.
And as for the legal stuff… I own nothing. If I did, I would be able to buy a shiny new computer all my own, and wouldn't be in astronomical debt from student loans.
Thanks to Ellie, this is now beta'd. And, I would really appreciate reviews.
Quotes/Timeline in italics, song lyrics in bold
Gibbs: Jenny, Jenny… You there?
Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind..
For me it happens all the time.
Eight years earlier…
She was sitting alone in her hotel room, sifting through letters and pictures. It wasn't supposed to have happened this way; she wasn't supposed to have fallen in love; wasn't supposed to have become attached. But she had. And now her heart was paying dearly. She was the one who'd walked out, the one who'd thrown the whole thing away. She was the one who'd decided that it wouldn't work, even though the evidence had been to the contrary. And now she was the one who was sitting all alone on the floor staring at the evidence of what had been one of the happiest times in her life.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't come but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
As a tear escaped her eye, she picked up a letter accompanied by a photograph; of them so enamored with each other that they hadn't even see the person taking the picture.
Dear Jethro,
Its been a year since I left, and I can't help but wonder if it wasn't a mistake. You were one of the only people I could trust
and yet I threw it all away. I think of you often- if I can't sleep, if I'm in a sticky situation, if I just need somebody to sit there and
stare as I ramble all the thoughts in my head…
The letter trailed off - unfinished. They all were like that. It wasn't like they mattered; she had no intention of ever sending them. As she gingerly touched the once vibrant flower, she chocked on a sob.
I need you Jethro.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
Jen: Jethro...Gibbs: Madame Director
4 Years Earlier…
He was sitting in his basement alone, staring at the walls. Six years ago she had walked out on him without so much as a see you later - unless you counted the Dear John letter he'd found hours after it was too late to do anything about it. He wasn't sure if he was pissed or not at her for showing back up. To be pissed would mean that he wasn't over her - no matter what he liked to tell Ducky. When he kept looking to the stairs hoping she would come walking in, he knew that no matter what his head wanted to say he was not over Jenny Shepard. As he glanced down at one of the few pictures he had of her he took another swig of bourbon and picked up the phone.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
"What do you want Jethro?" she asked, sounding slightly exasperated. When the phone had started ringing, she had automatically known it was him, and she wasn't sure she wanted to answer. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to go down that road again; that things would stay professional between them. But then her professional side had convinced her that maybe they had gotten a high profile case and he wasn't calling as Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but the special agent who had a penchant for pissing everyone off.. He didn't answer immediately, not knowing quite what to say.
Jenny sighed and began again, "Seriously, Jethro, what do you want?" When he still didn't start talking, her annoyance level hit the roof. "It is after 0100 and the past few days weren't exactly how I had envisioned starting my career as NCIS director. I am stressed and I am tired, so either start talking or I am hangi…"
"I need you Jen," he interrupted.
She felt her confidence deflate.
"Jethro, we agreed- no off the job."
"No, you said no off the job. I told you I missed you!" he spat defiantly.
"Semantics, Jethro. We can't do that again." She tried to keep the quiver out of her voice.
"I need you Jenny," he tried again.
"I can't," she whispered as she hung up the phone.
Alone they both sat, with sorrow in their hearts.
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
Jenny: Sometimes, things aren't so simple, Abby, sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality... and accept it.
One year and four months earlier…
She was sitting in the diner with Franks. They had run out of small talk, so she pulled out a piece of paper and began to write.
Dear Jethro,
It seems as if the only way I can say goodbye to you is through letters. You and I once had an epic love, but
like star crossed lovers, we couldn't ever find the right timing. I am truly sorry, Jethro- sorry about the way I left.
About lying to you. About the whole Tony, Jeanne, La Grennouille thing. About saying no three years ago and about
not following you out the door the night I had Carson and you said no. I am not, however, sorry for what is about to
happen. You were right when you asked me if I had a medical condition. I was going to die anyway. It is not as if I
wanted to go out as a hero - just with respect. I don't want to see the pity in people's eyes when they found out;
don't want to be the source of constant gossip and chatter. You deserve to be angry with me, and I hope you are.
I lied to you. As late as nine years ago and as recent as weeks ago.
I love you Jethro. I always have.
-x-
Jenny
As she folded the piece of paper, she knew that it wouldn't be long before the assassins arrived. She turned to Mike and with a sad smile on her face requested that he make sure Gibbs got it.
Present Day…
For some reason he found himself going out to the cemetery where Jenny lay buried. He hadn't gone out there since the day of the funeral. He'd been too angry to go; pissed at her for turning his world upside down.. Again. Pissed that she left. Again. But as angry as he was with her, he was more angry with himself. He should have gone with her. Should have called sooner. Should have seen the signs that something wasn't right. As he came upon the grave marker he had every intention of telling her off. And then he spotted it - a small white envelope with Frank's familiar scrawl: Probie, one day you are going to have to let it go. As he read over the letter his anger dissipated.
He looked towards the heavens, and as his breath caught in his throat, he choked out "I need you Jenny. I need you now."