The Afterwards
I do not own Death Note, nor its characters.
Sometimes Light was so scared, that he would run from his room with Misa into the kitchen to
the refridgerator just to find a strawberry, any strawberry, and hug it close to his chest.
Anything was better than nothing he reasoned to himself craddling the strawberry in some last attempt to keep those memories from spilling forth and being lost forever.
(Whispering on the wind is something Light doesn't want to lose, but he'd never admit that.)
Misa wished Light would come home once and a while. The house is so dim and empty, it reminds her of her room at the investigation tower, because it's only her there, Light is off dealing with L, Kira is still on the loose, and the only thing different was the angry look in her Light's eyes when she asked what happened at work today.
(It's almost like L took Light with him when he died and left Misa to deal with the anger, bitter Kira.)
"I wish that we could be together forever Ryuzaki."
L thought it was cute the way Light would cuddle up to him and grasp at his hand, twining their fingers because he wanted, no needed, L's contact at all time.
In the end, L died with Light still touching him, still needing the contact at all times.
(He wonders who Light get's around now without him to hold his hand, but then he remebers that Kira lives and not Light, no, not any more.)
Peaches and cream are yummy, but Matsuda always prefered blueberries.
Matsuda feels sad whenever Light refuses dessert, especially when it's cheesecake, with strawberries all over. Poor Light, he thinks, poor Light and his sadness. The way he sits after everyone else has left (or so he thinks) in L's old swivel chair, going back and forth, back and forth, as if trapped in some sort of movie reel.
Matsuda hopes that someday Light came escape the movie reel and live again, but it's a dying hope, growing smaller and smaller with each swish of the chair.
(Maybe if the movie was a romance instead of a tragedy, Light wouldn't mind it so much.)
Stars make people wish for things they don't need, or want but know they shouldn't have. Ususally the stars ignore those people, but the one pleading little wish from a boy (yes, a man in age, but his wish was so child like, and every one is a child to the stars) who wanted this wish oh so badly seemed to slip into their good net. It was a little wish, so small that it was gone with the blink of an eye, but the stars knew that it was just as important, so they worked to grant it ever so hard.
'I wish that when I die my friend will hold my hand.'
The shower makes Light feel so small, it's head raining down on him water as if he's stuck in a storm. It coats him, the wetness, and nothing seems to penetrate it but his fingers gripping the sides of his forearms. He huddles in the bottom, wishing he had enough strength, will power, anything to turn it off, but he doesn't so there he sits in the shower with the water pouring on his naked body, vulnerable and scared of what lies outside the shower curtain. Crumpled on the floor of the shower/bath tub, he feels like a puzzle where nothing fits and he has lost all the pieces and has been given pieces that don't fit or are gross and gnarled.
He wants L to come back so that he can yank gently on the chain to tell Light that there aren't any monsters out there.
(But theres no L and theres no chain, so who will tell Light if there are monsters?)
"Hmm, hmm, hm, hmmmm."
"Quit your humming Misa, it's annoying."
"Yes Light."
(Misa won't tell Light that she was humming the funeral march from L's funeral, but she thinks he might have figured it out.)
When it snows, Light likes to think that it will always remain pure.
When it snows, Light always has to face the reality that people will stomp on the snow, pee on the snow, eat it, spit on it, get dirt in it, and spilling drinks on it. He just wants to believe that something can remain safe, something, if not everything.
(When it snows, Light thinks of when L would let him cuddle up to his warm body if it got to cold in their room, but Light thinks of a lot of things, so that probably isn't important.)
L is wondering if Light remembers anything.
(Light is wondering if he can let himself remember everything.)
When Light died, on the steps facing the sun, gleaming on his bloody body, he realized that something was there that wasn't there before.
Twining his fingers, grasping tightly because he wanted, no needed, the contact, L held Light's hand as he died, smiling and keeping the monsters at bay untill Light let go.
(Truthfully, Light was planning to never let go, he wanted L to protect him forever from Kira, Shinigami, and everything else bad.)
the end of the afterwards
epilouge:
Matsuda wasn't a very spiritual person, nor was he inclined to believe things that were supernatural, but he could've sworn that while visting the old investigation tower on November 5th, he saw L and Light wondering around with the chain on, holding hands like before.
It had to be the alcohol.
A.N. Yes, I did just write that in about ten minutes. And yes, it makes no sense, but I thought it was cute anyhoo, Light wanting L to protect him from the monsters and Light wishing on a star.
(somebody's been reading to many children's books...)
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