Hey,

So this story is a crossover between Percy Jackson, Twilight, and H20: Just Add Water. The only part from H20 is that Helena is a mermaid, none of the characters are in here (it's actually better than it sounds, trust me). So Camp Jupiter found out vampires exist and Reyna decides to send Jason's twin sister, Helena Grace, to Forks where there are vampires to figure out how much of a threat they are. She finds the Cullens – all the events from the first book happen – and they decide the Cullens aren't really a threat, but other vampires are. So Helena has to stay and keep acting as Edward's girlfriend, Bella, so they can find out everything there is to know about the vampire world.

Helena is hiding a secret from the demigods and the vampires though – she is actually a mermaid. She became one in the same way the characters from H20 did on a quest in Australia for Venus (look it up if you haven't seen the show). Whenever she touches water, her legs turn to a tail. She also has a special power over water – she can make it evaporate, sort of like Rikki from H20. The difference is instead of being able to heat up water, and by that make it evaporate, she can only heat it to the point of evaporation. But, that also means she can make much larger amounts of water evaporate. Also, on this day in Forks, it was not raining for once – it's just very overcast.

This starts right when the second book does, but obviously the storyline is going to change. There's a question about that down at the bottom. A few other things I had to change – Jason, as of now, is going to disappear the winter when he's 16, not 15. Their birthday is also now September 13th, not June 1st (like Bella's). Oh, and also, all the Cullens are a year younger. So Edward is actually immortally 16, not 17. And, that's about it. Enjoy the story!

-ShootingStars13

Hi. My name is Helena Grace, and I'm 15. But I'm posing as Isabella Marie Swan (who actually doesn't exist- Renee never became pregnant before she divorced Charlie, but they are both under the Mist), so called 'one true love' of Edward Cullen, and klutz extraordinaire.

Oh, yeah, and I'm a daughter of Jupiter, king of the Olympians, god of lightning. Also, I grow a tail whenever I touch water- yep, I'm a mermaid.

My old life was great. You probably recognize my surname; I'm Thalia Grace's little sister, and Jason Grace's twin. I went to Camp Jupiter, trained in the legions, and helped my brother bring honor to Cohort Five.

Notice that I said old and was.

My new life… well, to be honest, it sucks.

Apparently, vampires exist, and no, they aren't empousai. Reyna decided we needed to find out more about them and how much, if any, of a threat they were. So surprise of all surprises, she sent me away from sunny California to rainy Forks.

Remember what I said about the tail?

Forks is a living hell for me.

Back to my new life. I go to Forks, and meet the Cullens, who apparently aren't even typical vampires- they drink animal blood, not human. Of course, Reyna wanted me to stay anyway.

And that brings us to where I am now.

I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure I was dreaming.

The reasons I was so certain were that, first, I was standing in a bright shaft of sunlight – the kind of blinding clear sun that never shone on my drizzly new hometown in Forks, Washington – and second, I was looking at my twin brother, Jason. Jason was, as far I knew, still at Camp Jupiter, so that was solid evidence towards the dream theory.

I was about to ask him a question – how were things going back at home? When would Reyna call me back? Assuming this was a demigod dream, which it most likely was, we would be able to actually communicate.

But I was interrupted.

"Bella?"

It wasn't Jason that called my name, and we both turned to see the addition to our small reunion – not having seen each other in nearly a year. I didn't have to look to know who it was; this was a voice I'd recognize anywhere, having been a major source of annoyance for the past almost-a-year.

Edward Cullen.

As he stepped out into the clearing, dark storm clouds suddenly began to drift over the sun. Lightning split across the sky with a BOOM! as rain started to fall.

My eyes snapped back to my brother in a panic, even though I had already decided that this was almost definitely not a demigod dream – for one, Edward was here, and for two, Jason hadn't actually said anything yet.

But I was still panicked inside as I counted down – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,

10.

My form shimmered for a second, before my shirt changed to a scaly swimsuit top while my legs were replaced by a dark blue-purple tail.

Thump! And that was when I face-planted the grass.

I raised my head to look at Jason, his eyes wide with shock and his mouth hanging open.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Edward said – like, just out of the blue, said that. I would've burst out laughing if I hadn't been too busy praying to the gods that Jason wasn't really here.

I woke up with a start – my eyelids popping open wide – and gasped. Dull gray light, the familiar light of an overcast morning, took the place of the blinding sun in my dream.

Just a dream, I told myself. It was only a regular dream. I took a deep breath, and then jumped again when my alarm went off. The little calendar in the corner of the clock's display informed me that today was September thirteenth.

Only a regular dream, but prophetic in one way, at least. Today was my birthday. I was officially sixteen years old.

Snap out of it, Helena. I internally scolded myself. Jumping at alarm clocks; really? You can defeat countless monsters on your own, took on the Titan Krios singlehandedly (even if Jason ended up the one to defeat him), but you flinch at your own alarm? You're really losing it.

Sighing, I slapped off the alarm and went to brush my teeth. After I was done, I studied myself in the mirror. Long, tousled brown hair; plain brown eyes; skin almost as pale as a vampire's. I missed my old appearance – my true appearance.

I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn't entirely able to avoid my 'dad', and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I'd asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying. Gods, I missed Jason. And Reyna, and Gwen, and Dakota, Leila, Nico…. Hades, I even missed Octavian sometimes.

I struggled to get a grip on myself as I drove to school. The dream – although it was just that – was hard to get out of my head. I couldn't feel anything but despair until I pulled into the familiar parking lot behind Forks High School and spotted Edward leaning motionlessly against his polished silver Volvo, like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty. Some very irritating pagan god of beauty.

Despair momentarily vanished; annoyance took its place. Even after all these months with him, I still had no idea what I did to deserve this. I really didn't.

His 'sister' Alice was standing by his side, waiting for me, too.

The sight of Alice waiting there – her tawny eyes brilliant with excitement, and a small silver-wrapped square in her hands – made me frown. It's not that I didn't like Alice, because I did. In fact, out of all the Cullens, she was the only one I actually liked. But I'd told Alice I didn't want anything, anything, not gifts or even attention, for my birthday. It would only make me sad I couldn't spend the day celebrating with my friends and brother. Obviously, my wishes were being ignored.

I slammed the door of my '53 Chevy truck – a shower of rusty specks fluttered down to the wet blacktop – and walked slowly to where they waited. Alice skipped forward to meet me, her pixie face glowing under her spiky black hair.

"Happy birthday, Bella!"

"Shh!" I hissed, glancing around the lot to make sure no one had heard her.

She ignored me. "Do you want to open your present now or later?" she asked eagerly as we made our way to where Edward still waited.

"No presents," I protested in a mumble.

She finally seemed to process my mood. "Okay…later then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

I sighed. Of course she would know what my birthday presents were. Octavian wasn't the only predictor of the future, nor the most accurate. Alice would have "seen" what my parents were planning as soon as they'd decided that themselves.

The camera was actually great, and I liked the idea of filling a scrapbook with pictures of me and my few friends in Forks, but I still felt slightly guilty. Charlie and Renee weren't my real parents – they didn't even know the real me at all – yet they still got me nice presents, and the camera was probably rather expensive, too.

"Yeah. They're great."

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."

I laughed. "How many times have you been a senior?"

"That's different."

We reached Edward then, and he held out his hand for mine. I took it reluctantly, feeling the usual exasperation at the front I was forced to put on. His skin was, as always, smooth, hard, and very cold. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze, as I held back the urge to flinch away.

He lifted his free hand and traced one cool fingertip around the outside of my lips as he spoke. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct," I mimicked his early 20th century speech.

"Just checking." He ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Believe me, I do, vampire, I thought. But I enjoy them much more when I can share them with my family.

Alice laughed at his statement, and the sound was all silver, a wind chime. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" She meant it as a rhetorical question.

Hmm… let's see, I could be killed by monsters I suppose, I answered in my head, thinking it was a very good thing that Edward could not read my mind.

We were all silent for a moment.

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice continued, changing the subject. From her expression, she was up to exactly the kind of thing I'd been hoping to avoid.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" she complained. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want," I retorted childishly.

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," Edward told her, ignoring me altogether.

"I have to work," I protested, starting to get angry.

"You don't actually," Alice told me smugly. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday'."

"I still can't come over," I said, narrowing my eyes slightly. "I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English.

Alice snorted. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

Actually, I didn't – being obsessed with classics was just part of the Bella façade. "But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it – that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

Edward rolled his eyes in my peripheral vision.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice accused.

No, I haven't! "But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Finally, Alice lost the smug smile and glared at me. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other-"

Edward interrupted her threat. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"I'll bring her over around seven," he continued. "That will give you more time to set up."

Alice's laughter chimed again. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." She grinned – the wide smile exposed all her glistening teeth – then kissed me on the cheek and danced off toward her first class before I could respond.

"Edward, please-" I started to beg – angry, but hoping the whole love thing could be useful and get me out of the plans – but he interrupted me by pressing one cool finger to my lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

I scowled at his back, but reminded myself that Bella loved her vampire boyfriend more than anything, and followed him.

No one bothered to stare at us as we took our usual seats in the back of the classroom (we had almost every class together now – Edward could get the female administrators to do nearly anything for him, but really, how clingy could he be?). Edward and I had been 'together' too long now to be an object of gossip anymore. Even Mike Newton didn't bother to give me the glum stare that used to make me feel slightly guilty and uncomfortable. He smiled now instead, and I was glad he seemed to have accepted that we'd never be more than friends (Edward, or no Edward). Mike had changed over the summer – his face had lost some of the roundness, making his cheekbones more prominent, and he was wearing his pale blonde hair in a new way; instead of bristly, it was longer and gelled into a carefully casual disarray. Hmm, wonder where his inspiration came from? *note the sarcasm*

As the day progressed, I considered various ways to get out of whatever was going down at the Cullen house tonight. It would be bad enough to have to celebrate and be cheerful when all I wanted to do was hop on a plane and fly straight back to California. But, worse than that, this was sure to involve attention and gifts.

Extra attention is never a good thing, as any other demigod spy would agree. I've been pretending to be Bella for a while now, but it's still difficult to role-play for months on end as someone you couldn't be more different from.

And I'd very pointedly asked – well ordered, really – that no one (meaning the Cullens, my 'parents', and my mortal friends) give me any presents this year. It looked like Charlie and Renee weren't the only ones who had decided to overlook that.

It wasn't that I didn't love presents – because who doesn't love presents? – but there were two reasons I didn't want any. One, I felt guilty that people who didn't even know me were wasting money on buying me presents for my birthday; and two, the presents themselves would most likely be wasted, since Bella and I had completely different taste.

As the day went on, neither Edward nor Alice brought up my birthday again, and I began to relax a little.

We sat at our usual table for lunch.

A strange kind of truce existed at that table. The three of us – Edward, Alice, and I – sat on the extreme southern end of the table. Now that the "older" and somewhat scarier Cullen siblings had graduated, Alice and Edward did not seem quite so intimidating, and we did not sit here alone. My other friends, Mike and Jessica (who were in the awkward post-breakup friendship phase), Angela and Ben (whose relationship had survived the summer), Eric, Conner, Tyler, and Lauren (though that last one didn't really count in the friend category) all sat at the same table, on the other side of an invisible line. That line dissolved on sunny days when Edward and Alice always skipped school, and then the conversation would swell out effortlessly to include me.

Edward and Alice didn't seem to find this minor ostracism odd or hurtful the way many would have. They barely noticed. People always felt strangely ill at ease with the Cullens, almost afraid for some reason they couldn't explain to themselves. I was more of an exception to that rule; however, being a monster-fighting demigod might have had something to do with it.

The afternoon passed quickly. School ended, and Edward walked me back to my truck as he usually did. But this time, he held the passenger door open for me. Alice must have been taking his car home so he could prevent me from making a run for it.

I folded my arms and made no move to get into the car, thankful that for once it wasn't raining. It would be hard to explain to Edward why I dashed through the rain, leapt in my car, then made the water evaporate off of me. Or hastily dried off with a towel, either or. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?"

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."

I narrowed my eyes again. Smartass vampire. "If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…"

"All right." He shut the passenger door and walked past me to open the driver's side. "Happy Birthday."

I climbed in the opened door, wishing he'd taken the other offer.

Edward played with the radio while I drove, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Your radio has horrible reception."

I frowned, sick of him picking on my truck. It might be old, but it was the first vehicle I'd ever had, and I personally thought it was great – it had personality. One thing that 'Bella' and I could actually agree on.

"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car," I snapped, then hoped he'd wave it off as being upset about Alice's plans. Which it probably was, I was usually a better actress than that! Come on, Helena, get a grip on yourself.

When I parked in front of Charlie's house, he reached over to take my face in his hands. He handled me very carefully, pressing just the tips of his fingers softly against my temples, my cheekbones, my jawlines. Like I was especially breakable. I wonder what he'd think if he knew about all the monsters I'd defeated.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," he whispered.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" I asked, deliberately making my breathing uneven to go with the act.

His golden eyes smoldered. "Too bad."

I prepared myself not to do anything stupid – such as jerking away and punching him – as he leaned closer, and pressed his icy lips against mine. I kissed him back reluctantly, knowing that was what 'Bella' would do and ignoring him would be a bad idea.

His mouth lingered on mine, cold and smooth and gentle, until I got tired off it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss with a little too much enthusiasm. His lips curved upward, but sure enough, he let go of my face and reached back to unlock my grip on him.

Edward had drawn many careful lines for our 'physical relationship', with the intent being to keep me alive. I had found this rather helpful for times when I felt like I couldn't keep it up anymore.

"Be good, please," he breathed against my cheek. He pressed his lips gently to mine one more time and then pulled away, folding my arms across my stomach. I struggled to keep a glare off my face.

"Let's go watch the Capulets and the Montagues hack each other up, all right?"

"Your wish, my command."

Edward sprawled across the couch while I started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits. When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I stopped myself from resisting – not like it would do much good to simply struggle, and I had no intention of using my powers or weapons. He pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me, probably so I wouldn't freeze beside his body.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," he commented as the movie started.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" I asked, acting offended. Ha. I knew next to nothing about Romeo, other than the two facts he loves Juliet, and he ends up dying.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline – don't you think that makes him seem a little fickle? And then, just a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

I sighed. Sure, Romeo did sound stupid, but I was tired of Edward criticizing everything. "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." His fingers traced patterns across the skin of my arm. "Will you cry?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, "if I'm paying attention." Now I had to figure out how to make myself cry.

"I won't distract you then." But he pressed his lips to my hair, and annoyance tends to be very distracting, to me at least.

The movie eventually captured my interest, thanks in part to Edward whispering Romeo's lines in my ear – even I admitted he had a nice voice. And I did make myself cry, to his amusement, when Juliet woke and found her new husband dead – scrunching up my eyes and blinking when he wasn't looking to squeeze out a few tears.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," Edward said, drying the tears with a lock of my hair.

"She's very pretty."

He made a disgusted sound. "I don't envy him the girl – just the ease of the suicide," he clarified in a teasing tone. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…."

First off, I'm not human. Second off, wait-

"What?" I gasped, surprised. A vampire envying a human the ease of his suicide? What the Hades?

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning…after he realized what he'd become…" His voice, which had grown serious, turned light again. "And he's clearly still in excellent health."

I twisted around so that I could to read his face. "What are you talking about?" I demanded, mostly curious, but trying to put a worried edge in my tone. "What do you mean, this is something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were…nearly killed…" He paused to take a deep breath, struggling to return to his teasing tone. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

For once second, the memory of my last trip to Phoenix washed through my head and made me feel slightly dizzy. I could see it all so clearly – the blinding sun, the heat waves coming of the concrete as I ran with desperate haste to find the sadistic vampire who wanted to torture me to my death. James, waiting in the mirrored room with my 'mother' as his hostage – or so I'd thought. I hadn't known it was all a ruse. Just as James hadn't known that Edward was racing to save me; Edward made it in time, but it had been a close one. Unthinkingly, my fingers traced the crescent-shaped scar on my hand that was always just a few degrees cooler than the rest of my skin.

Of course, I wouldn't have really died. I had ambrosia on me, and I had been acting much weaker than I was from my injuries – if the Cullens had not showed up right when they did, I would've killed James. But Edward didn't know that.

"Contingency plans?" I repeated, pulling my mind back in the present.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it – I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

I was shocked. Sure, I didn't like Edward – he annoyed the Hades out of me, even more than Octavian sometimes. He was overprotective, clingy, and didn't trust me – well, Bella – to make her own decisions. But that didn't mean I wanted him to destroy himself over me, not if Reyna decided the Cullens were no threat to us! And what about when I finally could leave…

Suddenly, I felt rather sick. And mad. Not to mention a bit guilty.

"What is a Volturi?" I demanded.

"The Volturi are a family," he explained, his eyes still remote. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his earlier years, in Italy, before he settled in America – do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember."

The first time I'd gone to his home, the huge white mansion buried deep in the forest beside the river, and that room where Carlisle kept a wall of paintings that illustrated his personal history… the largest and most vivid, from his time in Italy. The one with the quartet of men with faces of angels, painted into the highest balcony overlooking the swirling mayhem of color. Aro, Caius, and Marcus, Edward had called them – nighttime patrons of the arts.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," Edward went on. "Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do." His voice was so calm, he seemed almost bored by prospect.

"You can't do that," I said quietly, still shocked. "No matter what might happen to me, you can't hurt yourself."

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."

I almost laughed. If he only knew… Right, Bella. Who currently is mad, but for different reasons. "Put me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault? How dare you even think like that?"

"What would you do, if the situation was reversed?"

Probably give up and go back to Camp Jupiter, mourn for a short while, considering you probably died saving me since you seem to think I'm helpless, but my life would continue as it was before I came here.

"That's not the same thing."

He didn't seem to understand the difference. He chuckled.

"What if something did happen to you?" I argued. "Would you want me to go off myself?"

A trace of pain flitted across his face.

"I guess I see your point…a little," he admitted. "But what would I do without you?"

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes. "Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence."

He sighed. "You make that sound so easy."

"It should be."

Edward was about to argue, but thankfully he let it go. "Moot point," he reminded me. Abruptly, he pulled himself up into a more formal posture, shifting me up to the side but keeping hold of my hand. Charlie must be home.

After a moment, I heard the sound of the police cruiser pulling into the driveway.

Charlie came in with a pizza box in his hands.

"Hey, kids." He grinned at me. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad."

Charlie didn't comment on Edward's apparent lack of appetite. He was used to Edward passing on dinner.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" Edward asked when Charlie and I were done.

I looked at Charlie hopefully. Maybe he had some concept of birthdays as stay-at-home, family affairs – this was the first birthday with him, in Forks, so I didn't know what he would expect.

"That's fine – the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight," Charlie explained, crushing my hope. "So I won't be any kind of company…Here." He scooped up the camera he'd gotten me on Renee's suggestion (because I would need pictures to fill up my scrapbook), and threw it to me.

I purposely reached out a second too late – Bella was supposed to be very coordinately challenged, or in other words, a total klutz – and the camera glanced off the tip of my finger. Edward snagged it before it could crash onto the linoleum, as I knew he would.

"Nice save," Charlie noted. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets – she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," Edward said, handing me the camera.

I turned the camera on Edward, and snapped the first picture, knowing it went unsaid that I had to take at least one picture of my 'boyfriend'. "It works."

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." Charlie's mouth pulled down at one corner.

"It's been three days, Dad," I reminded him. Charlie was crazy about Alice. He'd become attached last spring when she'd helped me through my awkward convalescence; Charlie would be forever grateful to her for saving him from the horror of an almost-adult daughter who needed help showering. I decided not to heal myself with ambrosia, because that would be another thing to worry about covering up with the Mist. "I'll tell her."

"Okay. You kids have fun tonight." It was clearly a dismissal. Charlie was already noticeably edging towards the living room and the TV.

Edward smiled, triumphant, and took my hand to pull me from the kitchen.

When we got to the truck, he opened the passenger door for me again, and this time I didn't argue – though inside, I was fuming. So what if it was dark? I could find the obscure turnoff to his house just as well as he could, and I was an excellent driver for my age.

Edward drove north through Forks, visibly chafing at the speed limit enforced by my prehistoric Chevy. The engine groaned even louder than usual as he pushed it over fifty.

"Take it easy," I warned him. If he did anything to my truck…

"You know what you would love? A nice Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck."

We drove in silence for a minute or so.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what it is."

He sighed, his face serious. "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all excited."

I sighed, annoyed that he was treating me like a child again, but aware I had been slightly overreacting perhaps to not being able to spend the day back at camp. "Fine."

"I probably should warn you…"

"Please do."

"When I saw they're all excited… I do mean all of them."

"Everyone?" I frowned. "I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa."

"Emmett wanted to be here."

Emmett I could tolerate, sometimes even like, but… "But Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior."

I didn't answer. I couldn't trust myself not to scream in frustration if I did. I'm not WORRIED, I don't LIKE her, and I'm already being pushed to my breaking point with acting like Bella. Rosalie and I HATE each other if you haven't noticed. Also, I'm not a child, and you don't need to console me EVERY FIVE SECONDS! I ranted to myself. Aware that I sounded like a child.

Edward decided to change the subject. "So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

For you to break up with me and then I can go home?

The words came out in a whisper. "You know what I want."

He frowned, obviously wishing he'd stuck to the subject of Rosalie. "Not tonight, Bella. Please."

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want."

Edward growled – a deep, menacing sound. "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella," he vowed.

I hope not…

"That's not fair!"

I heard his teeth clench together.

We were pulling up at the house now. Bright lights shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers – pink roses – lined the wide stairs up to the front doors. It was actually very pretty, although even if I didn't like the color pink.

Sticking to the Bella façade, I moaned.

Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "This is a party," he reminded me. "Try to be a good sport."

"Sure," I muttered.

He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.

"I have a question," I said, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

He waited warily.

"If I develop this film," I continued, toying with the camera in my hands. "Will you show up in the picture?"

Edward started laughing, true to my intent. He helped me (needlessly) out of the car, pulled me up the stairs, and was still laughing as he opened the door for me.

They were all waiting in the huge white living room; when I walked through the door, they greeted me with a loud chorus of "Happy birthday, Bella!" while I looked down as if embarrassed. Alice, I assumed, had covered every flat surface with pink candles and dozens of crystal bowls filled with hundreds of roses. There was a table with a white cloth draped over it next to Edward's grand piano, holding a pink birthday cake, more roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver-wrapped presents.

It was a hundred times worse than I'd imagined.

Edward wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head, trying to be encouraging.

Edward's 'parents', Carlisle and Esme – impossibly youthful and as lovely as ever – stood closest to the door. Esme hugged me carefully, her soft, caramel-colored hair brushing against my cheek as she kissed my forehead, and then Carlisle put his arm around my shoulders.

"Sorry about this, Bella," he stage-whispered. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

Rosalie and Emmett stood behind them. Rosalie didn't smile, but at least for once she wasn't glaring. Emmett's face was stretched into a huge grin.

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett said with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," I said, rolling my eyes. I wondered if it would have been a big enough change for him if I had come looking like my true self.

He laughed, "I have to step out for a second" – he paused to wink conspicuously at Alice – "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try."

Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward, all her teeth sparkling in the bright light. Jasper smiled, too, but kept his distance. He leaned, long and blond, against the post at the foot of the stairs.

"Time to open presents," Alice declared. She put her cool hand under my elbow and towed my to the table with the cake and the shiny packages – what was it with the Cullens and guiding or pulling me wherever I went? I can walk myself, thanks.

I put on my best martyr face – or the best I could do looking like Bella. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything-"

"But I didn't listen," she interrupted, smug. "Open it." She took the camera from my hands and replaced it with a big, square silver box.

The box was so light it felt empty. The tag on top said it was from Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. I tore the paper off, and then stared at the box it concealed.

It was something electrical, with a lot of numbers in the name. I was ninety-five percent sure it was a new stereo, but I opened it up, because I didn't think a stereo could be that light.

The box was empty.

"Um…thanks," I said, although I would've bet a lot of denarii that Emmett was installing it in my truck as I spoke.

Rosalie actually cracked a smile. Jasper laughed. "It's a stereo for your truck," he explained. "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

Alice was always one step ahead of me.

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," I told them, grinning. It really was a great present. "Thanks, Emmett!" I called more loudly.

I heard his booming laugh from my truck, and I laughed too.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice said, so excited her voice was a high-pitched trill. She held a small, flat square in her hand.

Emmett bounded through the door. "Just in time!" he crowed, pushing in behind Jasper.

I inhaled deeply and turned to Alice. "Give it to me," I sighed.

Emmett chuckled with delight.

I took the little package, rolling my eyes at Edward while I stuck my finger under the edge of the paper and jerked it under the tape.

"Shoot," I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out on reflex. Yeah, great idea, Helena, pull out your bleeding finger in front of a bunch of vampires. A drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

It all happened very quickly after that.

"No!" Edward roared.

He threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table. It fell, as did I, scattering the cake and the presents, the flowers and the plates. I landed in the mess of shattered crystal, mentally cursing Edward for worsening the situation.

Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide.

There was another noise, a grisly snarling coming from deep in Jasper's chest. Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth just inches from Edward's face.

Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind in the next second, locking him into his massive steel grip, but Jasper struggled on, his wild, empty eyes focused only on me.

Beyond the shock, there was also pain. My arms had been thrown out to catch my fall- straight into jagged shards of glass. Only now did my adrenaline-filled brain register the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease inside my elbow.

Slightly dazed, all my instincts screaming at me to grab my weapons and fight the monsters, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm – into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

Well, there it was! Please review and tell me what you thought – constructive criticism is welcome, flames are not. As you probably saw, it's going to be slightly Cullen!bashing. The question I had for you all is:

Should the Cullens leave Bella, then something happens (ex, 'Bella' disappears, someone (Jacob?) contacts them, then they get involved in the whole demigod thing)? Or, should they become involved before they leave (so they never end up leaving)?