Author's note: All of my loyal fans are probably wondering why the hell I'm not writing for My Airway Romance but instead spending time on some mindless one-shot. In my defense, it is for my awesome 'older sister' Panda-chan, who is now officially 15. This is mega fluff, so it is probably not my usual style of writing. I got the idea from an online manga/Japanese drama, and felt it was quite cute since Naruto is such a pervert, and the reactions are just so fitting. Oh, pardon the horrid errors.
Story Title: Spiked Ramen, Elevators and Leeks
Summary: Call him gay, but Naruto was just out for some matchmaking fun on April Fools' Day. His target this year: to get Neji and Tenten together, with Hinata as his accomplice. Who knew that the power-couple had ulterior motives in getting the two together?
Pairings: NejiTen + NaruHina (and implied) SasuSaku + ShikaIno
Disclaimer: I have just the most amazing deduction skills in the world, and that intuition tells me that I, Sakura Panda63, will never own Naruto or Hana Yori Dango. Yeah yeah, don't you dare rub it in my face.
Insert text here – normal text
-insert action here- – something done by someone/noise
'Insert text here' – someone's thoughts
oO Someone's POV Oo – self-explanatory, no?
'Insert Text here' – Inner thoughts
(A/N: Insert text here) – Author's note
Spiked Ramen, Elevators and Leeks
Ahhh, the average spring morning in Konoha; the sun shining, the birds singing– "NARUTO! I will Jyuuken your ass to Sunagakure!" Well, the peace was good while it lasted.
Hyuuga Neji, the esteemed Hyuuga prodigy, chased after the orange-clad ninja, waiting for the perfect chance to grab and wring that neck of his. Uzumaki Naruto just laughed as they played the game of cat and mouse around the town. His laughter stopped abruptly when he reached the end of the busy street, with a wall preventing him from going any further. Turning around, Hyuuga Neji greeted poor Naruto with a not-so-perky grin on his face.
"Now now, Neji, there's no-nothing really there to be an-angry about." Naruto stuttered, fearing the killer aura surrounding the white-eyed man. Neji extended out his right hand to pat Naruto's shoulder, but he gripped his shoulder and slammed his left fist too close to the blonde's head for comfort. Naruto was trapped and boy, was he in a shitload of trouble.
Neji smirked at the frightened look on his comrade's face, and told him coldly, "You SOLD pictures of me at the sauna to the fangirls. Do you know how many hours I did not sleep? 36 hours."
The blonde just looked at him and smiled mischievously, "First of all, you're giving the crowd the wrong idea, trapping me like this," Neji twisted his head around and saw that villagers were giving him strange looks so he dropped his hands hastily and continued to glare at the man in front of him. Naruto continued, "Second, if you're talking about invasion of privacy, I doubt Tenten would be very happy to hear that you don't actually just use your Byakugan for training, ne?" At that remark, Neji's cheeks tinged pink and he could not find his voice to reprimand Naruto for saying such untruthful words.
There were many sensitive subjects that would easily irk Neji, and Tenten was one of them. For Naruto to say such scandalous accusations hit a nerve, bad. She was so annoyingly headstrong as if she were a boy (not saying that he preferred men or anything) stuck in a curvaceous female's body, and even Neji could not deny her feminine aspects anymore like he did when they were teens. Now nineteen, he could not help but glance appreciatively whenever she walked past, even during missions when she wore her signature kunoichi's outfit. Sadly, the Hyuuga prodigy was not dating her like the rest of their friends hoped and expected after so long. Even Sasuke would smirk when talking to him, as if to say, 'Hn, at least my fangirls are gone now with Sakura as my girlfriend. Too bad you couldn't get a move on Tenten, huh? Pathetic.'
While Neji was deep in thought, Naruto took it as an opportunity to make a mad dash towards safety, shouting behind him, "Oi Neji, you better watch out today; it's April Fools' Day."
Meanwhile, at the other end of the long shopping district, Tenten was enjoying a nice cup of morning tea with her fellow kunoichi friends. The chocolate-haired girl was getting a migraine over listening to Sakura and Ino bickering about something pointless, whilst Hinata was sitting next to her staring out into space as if she were deep in thought. Noticing Hinata's unusual behavior, Sakura waved a hand in front of the pearl-eyed woman's face trying to get her attention.
"Ne, Hinata-chan, what is up with you today? You're unusually quiet, and you're not talking about Naruto at all." Ino enquired after the abrupt halt in Sakura's and her argument, with Tenten nodding slightly in relief at the end of the heated conversation between the pair. At the mention of Naruto's name, Hinata's eyes shot wide open, glancing over at her oblivious friend, Tenten. The Hyuuga heiress looked at her friend apologetically and thought, 'Sorry Tenten-chan, I hope you won't get injured by today's prank that Naruto and I have planned for.'
All of them were looking at her with questioning eyes, expecting her to say something. All of a sudden, Hinata remarked, "It's April Fools' Day today."
Sakura cheeks flushed red with anger at the mention of the accursed holiday, mumbling plans of killing Naruto quietly to herself. Tenten snickered and asked, "Oh, Sakura-chan, were you thinking about the prank that Naruto pulled on you last year when he said that Sasuke-san was dying because of the food poisoning you supposedly gave him when you sent him some of your homemade chocolates? It was something about Sasuke being allergic to sweets because he was too emo for chocolate, according to Naruto."
"Ergh, don't mention Naruto-baka. Sorry Hinata-chan, I will find your boyfriend and get hold of my REVENGEEE! I'll kill Naruto, I'll kill Naruto, AND THERE SHALL BE BLOOD!"
"Forehead, I'd say Naruto actually did you a favor. You got into a relationship with Sasuke because of that. He kissed you to prove that he wasn't sick, and even passed you the chocolate with some tongue action, ne, Sa-ku-ra chan?"
"You can't talk. Remember White Day? Hah, you were eating cotton candy and Shikamaru came up to you and kissed you so that he could eat some with HIS excuse being that the cotton candy reminded him of his beloved clouds. That was classic." Sakura laughed as Ino huffed while crossing her arms, looking away blushing.
Suddenly, Tenten remembered, "Ah, yes! Today we have a group meeting at Ichiraku's at 12 but I need to get some groceries first! Would you girls care to join me?"
The other three agreed hastily because they had their own tasks to complete as well and all of them walked out of the small teashop after paying for their tea, making their way to the central marketplace. Tenten grabbed the list out from her pocket and said aloud, "I need… potatoes, onions, carrots, eggs, leeks, and maybe some beef. I was planning to make some curry rice for Lee-kun and Neji-kun so that we could have lunch after training tomorrow…"
All the girls agreed to split up to go do their own things and meet in the ramen store later on. As each of Tenten's friends went to look for their boyfriends, she sighed dejectedly knowing that she was not romantically involved with anyone because Hinata's cousin and her closest male friend, Neji, stole her heart. The very thought of his name made her heart speed up, her mind conjuring up images in her mind of him and her together training, him shirtless (cue the swoon), and his stunning white eyes boring into her as if he could read her like an open book. She knew she had no chance in having a relationship with him because he had other choices of beautiful women in the village, and felt as if she couldn't compare to any of them.
With different thoughts about the Hyuuga running through her head, she absentmindedly shopped for all the ingredients to make the hearty Japanese curry for her much-loved teammates. Soon enough, it was 12 o'clock and so she dragged herself to the meeting point, unable to drop off her groceries at her apartment. Without fail, her friends were already there waiting for her, along with the Hyuuga prodigy looking as handsome and stoic as ever. All the females chatter was directed to the weapons mistress, greeting her while herding everyone into the infamous ramen store, Ichiraku. The place had bought over the shop next door when it ran out of business, so there were a few large booths and tables to accommodate a larger crowd.
People chose their seats, and Tenten could not help the rapid pacing of her heart when Neji sat down next to her left side. Two more spaces were available next to Neji's seat so Naruto maneuvered himself and Hinata so that they were sitting next to the single pair. Neji found that strange that Naruto made such an abrupt change in seating arrangements as his cousin and him would sit next to Sakura and Sasuke, but he pushed that aside and tried to focus on the menu without paying attention to Tenten's side pressed against his.
"Tenten, shall I order the usual for you?"
He tried not to smile at the girl's loveliness when she happily nodded yes to him. He also tried to avoid punching Naruto's lights out from embarrassment when the blonde baka sniggered, "Hey you and Tenten come here often, huh? Do you two go on dates here a lot?"
This remark sparked a lot of interest between the large group, laughing good-naturedly. The subjects of the question were both attempting to deny the implications but to no avail. Sasuke directed his comment towards the Hyuuga prodigy with a smirk on his face, "Is that true, Hyuuga? I never knew you had it in you to actually act human."
"Says the emotionally constipated one."
This earned a laugh from all of them, except for Sakura who just tugged on Sasuke's ear as if a mother would to a child.
The food arrived quickly, and while Tenten was making polite conversation with Neji and the rest, Naruto sneakily put a little concoction of his into Neji's beef ramen. Hinata noticed this and made sure that everyone's attention was diverted from her boyfriend. All of them ate their ramen, chatting animatedly with each other, glad that there were no missions for the day so that everyone could catch up without their fast-paced shinobi lives getting in the way.
Soon enough, the meal was finished and slowly, people started filing out to go do other errands. There was only Naruto, Hinata, Neji and Tenten left and each of them had different thoughts running through their head. Hinata and Naruto looked at each other, indicating that 'Operation: White eyes & Panda buns' commence.
Naruto said loudly, "Oi you two! Hinata-chan and I will be taking our leave now because, erm, we need to attend a meeting at the Hyuuga house."
Hinata nodded in agreement and the happy couple walked out hand in hand. She turned around and told her cousin, "Neji-nii-san, you don't have to attend. M-my father just wants to speak to us in private so-so you are not required to come. Enjoy your day!"
After waving at the retreating couple, Tenten turned to Neji and realized that he looked paler than usual. To her, it just looked as if he was worried what the Hyuuga head would say to his cousin so she dismissed his strange reaction and dragged him out of the ramen shop.
"Neji-kun, what would you like to do for the rest of the day? Everyone else is probably occupied with other things so…" she trailed off, mentally crossing off ways to spend time with her most treasured person in the world.
"Let's go train." Neji crossed his arms and looked up at the sky staring blankly before he started moving. The brown-haired girl sighed, knowing that it was his normal response to go training to clear his head. Trailing behind him, she fingered her pouch and realized that she didn't bring her weapon scrolls.
"Hey, I left my scrolls in my apartment so I need to go get them before we can go training, plus I also need to drop off the ingredients for tomorrow's lunch. Perhaps we can have a nice cup of tea to clear off all distractions in our heads and then we'll head over to the training grounds. Is that alright with you, Neji-kun?" Tenten smiled at him, extending her warm hand towards the man. Neji smirked at her and decided to surprise her by accepting her hand and pulling her beside him like how a couple would do. Shocked, Tenten tried to stop her cheeks from glowing pink at the intimate gesture.
As the pair walked along, their linked hands and close bodies earned quite the amount of attention from the bystanders. Old ladies were smiling wistfully, looking at the seemingly in-love couple. Fangirls on the street appeared with sharp, pointy weapons in their hands, glaring at Tenten. She let go of the hand that was holding hers and moved into a boxing stance, growling, "Neji, your fangirls are following us like stray dogs waiting for food. They look as if they are about to skin me alive, but what can they do against me, the awesomest weapons specialist in the whole of Konohagakure? Lemme at 'em, I'll show 'em that they're not going to ruin my day with you!"
"Tenten, I didn't know that you liked to spend time with me this much." Neji smirked. The girl visibly stiffened at the remark and clenched her fists even tighter, dropping her groceries.
"Ya, Neji-baka! Don't get so cocky!" Tenten said gruffly, then she punched him soundly in his face, hard enough to make him stumble back slightly. As Neji clutched his cheek and glared down at the defiant girl in front of him, he couldn't help but think, 'This girl is really something.'
Suddenly, Neji sneezed and felt strangely cold. Tenten laughed and told him, "Hah, there must be someone bad-mouthing you at the moment. Maybe you'll get sick, because Karma is out to kick you in the ass."
Neji sneezed again and told her, "Tenten, I never get sick."
He swayed slightly to the left so Tenten stabilized him by holding on to his arm. Concerned, she rummaged through her bags and handed him a bottle of water, thinking that he was dehydrated causing him to lose sense of direction. Thankfully, the two were already in front of her apartment so she would be able to find something for him inside. Stepping into the lift while guiding her teammate inside, Tenten pressed the button to go her floor once the door shut close. No matter how many times she vigorously pressed it, the elevator would not move. She banged her palm against the elevator wall angrily, earning a strange look from her male companion. Unexpectedly, the elevator lurched and plunged down a few inches. Tenten yelped in fear and held on to the closest thing next to her which just so happened to be Neji.
"Tenten, what are you doing?"
"Oh!" The girl gasped and immediately tried to free herself from his strong arms. What she did not expect was for Hyuuga Neji (of all people!) to hold on tighter to her.
"What's going on?"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK? The elevator has stopped, you dumbass."
Unbeknownst to them, Naruto and Hinata were in the elevator control and surveillance room watching their every move visible on the screen before the couple. As Naruto sniggered, happy that his plan was going smoothly, and exclaimed, "Ne ne, Hinata-chan, look at that! Neji is holding on to Tenten!"
His female counterpart looked at him with a soft smile on her face. She knew that this was the man that would do anything for those important to him, and she couldn't help but become outrageously happy when she knew she was his most beloved person. Hinata's daydream of their future together was interrupted by a loud voice that resonated through the small room. As she turned to the screen, she saw that her cousin was standing beside her best friend while they were both hollering over the intercom.
"HELLO, HELLO? THE ELEVATOR IS STUCK, WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND SOMEONE HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO GET US OUT?"
"IF NO ONE COMES, WE ARE SHINOBI SO WE WILL BUST OUT OF THIS ELEVATOR AND MANAGEMENT WILL GET THE FATTEST LAWSUIT OF THEIR LIFE FOR HAVING SUCH FAULTY DEVICES."
After standing in anticipation for someone to rescue them, there was no reply to their message or anyone busting open the elevator door. Neji sighed and ordered, "Tenten, hop on top of me and pop open the elevator light. It'll get us out of here."
"Hey hey, Neji, I think I can handle it without jumping on you. After all, I am a kunoichi!" Tenten crouched slightly and hopped up, charging a miniscule bit of chakra into her palms, giving her enough strength to push the light box open. The space was narrow so she had to walk carefully close to the edge while Neji pulled himself up effortlessly. All of a sudden, Tenten lost her footing and fell on Neji, making them both crash down back into the lift. There was only a small detail left out: Tenten was on top of Neji kissing him. Both knew that it was an accidental kiss, but neither could help savoring the feeling of pressing their lips against the other. Finally grasping onto reality, Tenten's eyes shot open and she pushed her body away using her hands on top of Neji's defined chest.
Neji already felt the cold air hit him without Tenten's body warmly pressed against his, but he knew that he had to be more aware of their situation next time. Pale white eyes stole a glance at the girl next to him breathing heavily, and he noted that a blush was evident on her cheeks. The man smirked and advanced towards her rasping body, holding up her face with his fingers and asked, "Well Tenten, I never knew that you would take advantage of a man that's clearly sick. Who would've known that you had such perverted intentions when I told you that you could jump on me, hm? Perhaps you were the one that drugged me when you gave me that bottle of water, am I correct?"
"Why you little punk…" Tenten glared at his face, solely intent on rearranging her teammate's face. She raised her right hand up, poised to give him the punch hat would knock him into the next century, but he abruptly collapsed on her. Startled, she tried to roll him off with great effort. With one last heave, Tenten successfully got his body off hers by pushing him to the other side of the small elevator. Neji groaned in pain, finding it hard to breathe since he felt very cold.
In the surveillance room, Hinata turned worriedly away from the monitor and asked Naruto, "Naruto-kun, I don't think Neji-nii-san is alright. I believe your concoction is too strong for him as he shows many side-effects, so he would need medical assistance as soon as possible. Should we let them out of the elevator? I don't think they can manage through the night…"
"Hush, Hinata-chan, the fever will wear off in two hours so you won't need to worry. Look, Tenten is even taking care of him right now."
Hinata took a quick look at the CCTV and left out a sigh of relief when she saw that Tenten was attending to her cousin. Although Tenten was shaking Neji roughly, she knew that Tenten would do whatever it takes for him to get better through any means possible. Her cousin was in safe hands.
"Oh my! Neji, you're burning up! Wake up, wake up!" Tenten took her hand off her sick friend and shook him briskly. The man groaned and cracked one eye open then the other, only to be greeted by the sight of his feisty best friend. He gave her a weak smirk and slowly got up and leaned against the wall, shivering slightly. Tenten gasped and made him lie down again, putting her jacket on top of him. Going through the groceries, she took out the leek and hooked it around his neck, tightening it slightly.
Neji struggled against her, yelling in a hoarse voice, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Shut up and stay still! I'm trying to bring down your fever!"
"By killing me with a leek? Do you really want me to die because you hate me that much?"
"I don't hate you, but I WILL kill you if you don't co-operate! The leek is supposed to help you… KEEP STILL, BAKA!" Tenten left the leek there securely and moved to the side, curling into a ball to keep herself warm from the cool winds rushing in from above them. Neji turned and noticed this, so he grabbed her hand and pulled her down swiftly, making her crash beside him. He faced her and slung his arm over her, bringing her closer to his body warmth.
"Tenten, if you don't hate me, what do you think of me?" Neji asked solemnly.
The girl in question whipped her head quickly and was at a loss of words. With thoughts rushing through her head she contemplated whether or not to take the risk, so she looked down and twiddled her thumbs shyly. When she spoke, it was not of her usual confident tone but instead it was soft and hesitant, "I love you, Neji-kun. You arrogant, sadistic, bastardish, smart-ass, annoying…" She was interrupted by a pair of lips pressing down on hers; Neji gripped her closely and gently moved his lips against her, coaxing some reaction from her. Slowly, Tenten's heart fluttered and she kissed back with no hesitation, running her fingers through his straight hair deepening the kiss as she pulled him closer.
As they broke apart, Neji's eyes remained closed as his breathing turned slower and slower despite the frantic beating of his heart. Inwardly, he was ecstatic that Tenten felt the same way, but he only gave her a half-hearted smirk and said, "Love you too."
Tenten's eyes fluttered closed and she snuggled closer towards him for warmth, biding him to sleep. The man smiled softly as he brushed her long strands of hair away from her angelic face, gradually closing his pearl orbs and fell asleep.
(The next morning)
The elevator doors opened, beholding the sight of Tenten and Hyuuga Neji in each other's arms, sleeping soundly. Tenten blinked at the brightness coming from in front of her, and once she became aware of the situation, her eyes shot right open. Naruto and Hinata both wore large grins on their faces, and they became even wider when Neji stirred awake.
"So, how was last night, huh Neji? I hope you liked the 'prank' that we pulled on you." Naruto laughed, showing his foxy grin.
Hinata smiled and added, "We even made a special mixture that would make you sick for a while so that Tenten-chan would take care of you."
It took a while for the message to sink into Neji's head: His innocent cousin and her idiot of a boyfriend trapped him with his teammate in a lift for nearly 24 hours. Neji got up, cracking his knuckles looking dangerous, with Tenten behind him looking equally fierce. Naruto's grin turned into a look of fear as Neji spoke calmly, "So, Naruto, let us go to the park so that we can talk this over in a more peaceful atmosphere, hn?"
Unable to protest without getting himself killed by two equally powerful shinobi, the small group headed over towards the training grounds. Kiba was strolling along with his large dog, Akamaru, beside him and when he saw them, he waved at them as stopped in front of them, grinning. He turned towards Neji and asked him, winking slyly, "Hey, Neji, I heard about your rendezvous with Tenten. How was it?"
"I spent the whole night with her in the elevator." Neji calmly replied, not catching the underlying meaning of Kiba's question.
Kiba's eyes popped out when Naruto added, "Yeah, and we saw it all on CCTV!"
"Your neck is red, Neji, what did she do to you?" Kiba waited in anticipation, with Akamaru equally shocked.
"She strangled me a leek."
At this, Kiba exploded thinking of all the perverted thoughts aloud, "OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU DID IT WITH HER FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT WITH S&M FOR THAT LONG?! Who knew virgins were so kinky on their first time…"
Tenten and Hinata got what Kiba was saying and both of them turned beet red, one flushing from anger and the other blushing out of embarrassment. Before Tenten could beat the dirty thoughts out of his head, the dog owner had already rushed away, muttering on miserably. Instead, she decided to lash out at the two oblivious males in front of her, "Neji and Naruto, YOU TWO ARE IDIOTS! DIDN'T YOU GET WHAT KIBA WAS IMPLYING?!"
Tenten sucker-punched both of them and growled ferociously, threatening to get revenge. Out of nowhere, Neji asked while dragging the furious Tenten next to him, "Naruto, you haven't answered my question. Why did you do this to Tenten and me?"
Naruto thanked Hinata for applying her special balm on him and put his arm around her shoulder. Then he faced the other couple with his foxy grin on his face again and replied, "Oh that's EASY. We just want you to come together for our wedding!"
"YOUR WEDDING?!"
"N-Naruto-kun, I think you better r-run now. Ne-Neji-nii-san looks as if he's going to kill you." Hinata whispered to her blonde fiancé. Realizing that Neji was very capable of take out his innards from his asshole, he ran screaming like a girl into the horizon.
Yet another peaceful spring day is ruined by the noisy shinobi of Konoha…
Finishing author's note: Well, here it is, my NejixTen one shot to you all as a belated birthday present to Panda-chan. Again, pardon any mistakes (I've only read over it about 2 times and I didn't send it to my betas), and I hope you guys understand how the elevator scene worked with the transition of Naruto and Hinata in the surveillance room and Neji and Tenten in the elevator. I pray that it's not too cheesy or OOC and I apologize that there may not have been enough humor in here. It probably is too fluffy for the pair, but I felt like I needed fluff. How did I get this idea, you ask? Well, I got it from an old Japanese drama for 2005 I was watching called 'Hana Yori Dango (1)' and the elevator scene just screamed Neji and Tenten. It's a fantastic manga as well, even if it is from the 90s and the hair on Domyouji is hideous, but whenever anyone has a chance, I hope you'll read it.
Ergh, I have to go complete my homework now. It killlssss…
Sakura Panda-chan, over and out
