Disclaimer: All characters and their basic characterizations belong wholly to Stephenie Meyer and affiliates. However, the plot and further development of the characters belongs wholly to beautifulmoment.

*No character names are mentioned as a stylistic choice for ambiguity.

He would never forgive himself.

It hadn't taken more than a second for everything around him to shatter into pieces. If he had been more careful, she would still be here. She would be by his side, laughing, smiling, and enjoying all that life had to offer her. She would have so many available opportunities ahead of her, and she would be able toaccomplish everything she ever dreamed of.

Instead, it all disappeared in the blink of an eye. Faster than a rain drop falling from the sky.

He's the only person to blame. He knows this and nothing will ever antagonize him more.

He was too distracted with the vampire to realize that her other protector had been too badly injured to even stand and the other vampire was advancing on her. Advancing on his mate who was yelling his name and backing up into the huge rock on the other side of the open area. He didn't hear her, and the vampire knew it. He was too busy defending himself and her to focus on reading anyone's mind and the moment he had heard his love's scream cut off abruptly, he had shot up and there she was, paler than usual. She was drained of her blood.

And the other vampire who he had forgotten about momentarily was standing next to her, her blood dripping from his chin as he smirked at him. As he had crouched, her protector had come flying out from the trees, ripping his head from his body in an instant, causing the vampire he had focused on to get distracted. He took that opportunity to end her life, not a single flash of regret in his eyes, his mind numb from the pain of seeing his mate lifeless.

He figured the thought hadn't fully sunk in yet when nothing but agonized rage ran through his veins.

He had ripped both bodies into as many little pieces as he could, burned them, then spread the ashes. Then for the sake of relieving his anger, he ripped a tree from its roots and threw it with as much force as possible off the cliff side. It impacted with ground with a loud sound that echoed throughout the mountains.

He shut down no more than two seconds after the impact.

He hadn't hunted since. He hadn't talked since. He hadn't breathed since.

His one goal in life was smashed right in front of his eyes. He swore to protect her, never let harm befall her. He was blinded by hatred for the vampire though, and his thoughts were impaired.

He thought that if this was what Hell was like, then there wasn't anyone who deserved the feeling. A dry sobbed ripped from him as he laid on the bed in the small room of the cottage he was residing by himself. He didn't deserve to comfort of family and the love they would still give him. He didn't deserve to feel even remotely okay.

"It wasn't your fault," came a voice that was heart breaking, yet familiar—so sweet. It could only belong to one person and he was instantly whipping his head in the direction the voice had come from as a single word slipped past his lips in shock.

"Beautiful," he whispered.

"You have to forgive yourself. It wasn't your fault." She passed by his vision in a blur, melting into the humid air engulfing him.

He gasped quickly. "My love,"

"Stop blaming yourself. Even if it was your fault, even if I blamed you, there wouldn't be a single thing you could do about it. You're causing not only yourself pain, but me. You're causing your family pain by staying away. They miss you, they need you. You don't deserve this. Don't make me watch this any longer. I don't know if my heart could take it." He looked around the room, trying to spot her again. She didn't seem determined to hide any longer and he saw her lurking in the doorway to his closet. Half in, half out. He stood up without a second thought, walking over to her. He had no clue what was happening, but he didn't want it to ever stop.

As he reached out for her when he was near enough, she disappeared.

"No," he choked out, "don't leave me again!"

"Stop blaming yourself," her voice replied, cutting through him.

He was frantic now. "I can't stay for long. Please forgive yourself," she sighed, "if not for you, then for me." His frozen heart shattered into a million pieces. I can't stay for long. I can't stay for long. She can't stay for long.

"I can't," his voice broke, "I should have known. I can read minds. I should have known. There's so many things I could have done to prevent this from happening and I didn't pursue any of them. I stood on the sidelines as it happened."He was still staring at the closet door, hoping she would reappear.

"Forgive yourself,"

He whirled around at the sound of her voice. Her figure was misty and transparent. He could see the other side of the room. Her dark mahogany hair hung down to her waist and her dark eyes bore into his. Her white blouse was stained with blood. Her blood. She had holes in her jeans. Dried blood caked her neck from where it slid down from the vampires bite. The bite mark was still open, as if it had just happened. The scene in front of him was gruesome and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stare at her as though he couldn't see it.

She looked like that for a reason though. She had died that way, and so forever she would stay that way.

"Forgive yourself," she repeated, "for me."

"No, you should be alive. A happy human fulfilling everything life had planned for. You shouldn't be up in Heaven. I might be the most selfish creature to walk this planet, but I want you. I want you here with me. I want you to come home. I want you to be in my arms. I want to hold you and lay by your side. I want to hum your lullaby as you fall asleep, I want to kiss you until the ends of Earth. I want to love you, everyday of forever. I want to give you everything I have to offer and more because you deserve nothing less than everything. I need you here with me. You need to come home," he sobbed, reaching for her.

She disappeared, showing up again. This time she was sitting on his bed. She had tears falling from her eyes, except—they weren't tears—they were crystals. Shimmering crystals. They were falling for her eyes rapidly and he didn't understand.

"I love you so much it hurts. I need you here with me. Just tell me why, tell me why you're not here with me anymore. It's not supposed to be like this. You're supposed to be here with me now. Not up there with Him, so matter how much He wants you, You're mine and I need you every day, for the rest of my existence! You're all I want, so much it's hurting."

Her sobs were louder now. "I wish I could, I wish I could stay here forever, but I can't. That's not how it works. I can't stay for much longer, and I can't come back. I just need you to forgive yourself for me please. Please, my love," she whispered. He tone was desperate now and her figure was becoming more transparent by the second.

The endearment coming off her lips was encouragement for him. "I forgive myself, I do, Just please don't leave me, you can't leave me like this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it happened like this, just please. Please, don't leave me!"

She had gotten up and gone over to the closet again. "I'm sorry," she called, "but I have to go." He stepped towards her, his eyes filled with venom tears that would never fall. A bright light flashed from inside the closet and she put one foot in. She looked at him with nothing but raw emotion, baring all for him to see. It left him breathless. "I love you. I'm so sorry. I'll miss you every day."

She was gone then. He dropped to his knees in anguish, not getting a chance to say any parting words to her in return.

"You can't do this to me," he screamed out at the top of his lungs.

"I'm sorry," her voice echoed. He stood up with lightning fast speed and threw the nearest object at the wall. The shattering sound did nothing to his ease his pain. He knew now that nothing would.

"Please,"