Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this story. They are all the property of the WWE and one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. This happens to be my first wrestling fic, though I plan to be updating on a weekly basis until this story has run its course. I hope that you enjoy it. Any questions feel free to let me know.

Identity Issues
By David Knight

Chapter 1: The Mysterious Duo

Raw
July 24, 2006

No! No! No! Edge shouted to himself as he watched his tag team partner for the evening, Johnny Nitro, tap out to John Cena's STFU. He had been desperately trying to get back into the ring to break the hold, but it was not to be. The 'Nature Boy' Ric Flair had latched onto the current WWE Champion's boot, keeping him from interfering and thus costing him the match.

Once the bell sounded Flair let go his legs, and Edge was fit to be tied. He shouted to his girl Lita to get his belt and that it was time to leave. She did just that and they walked up the ramp back to the back with Melina and Nitro not far behind, the girls on the arms of their men.

Edge looked back at the ring as he walked up the ramp. He saw Cena cheering, celebrating with Flair. He couldn't believe he'd lost. It pissed him off to no end. He was the Rated R Superstar. The MVP of the entire show. He should have won.

As he continued walking, he tried blocking out all of the voices, the stupid fans, the announcers. Everyone. He just wanted to get the hell out of the arena and this city. He was about to go back stage with Lita, Nitro and Melina. But suddenly the sound started to die down and Edge wondered why. He turned around and saw why.

Before the Titantron had been showing shots of them on the ramp, and now it had just gone dark.

"Hey, wait a minute. What's this?" JR asked. Cena and Flair, as well as everyone else looked at the blackened monitor, the arena almost silent wondering what was going on. Suddenly, the Titantron suddenly booted up with what seemed to be live footage. What they saw right now was a big screen tv, which had someone flipping through the channels.

"Hundred and five channels and nothing good on."

"Well that's Edge's voice," the King said, looking at the screen. "Hey, maybe he and Lita got something naughty to show us." He was on the edge of his seat, looking forward to that.

"Think again, King," JR replied looking back at the runway and seeing Edge's bewildered face. "Somehow I don't think this is in Edge's game plan."

"Geez Louise, is that all you can say?"

Now JR could see Lita's disbelief as she heard her own voice. As the camera zoomed out on the Titantron, everyone could see two people sitting on a couch. A man and a woman. They both had the same hair as Edge and Lita. The tattoo on 'Lita's' her right shoulder, which they could see when she put her arm up and around 'Edge's' head, was exactly the same as Lita's.

"I'd like to see what's going on during RAW. Bad enough we gotta be stuck in this hotel because of transportation problems," 'Edge' said with distaste.

"You mean you're always late trying to polish that stupid belt of yours," 'Lita' replied coyly. "A belt you wouldn't even have if it wasn't for me."

"Oh, come now, sweetness." 'Edge' tried to put his hand someplace they couldn't see but everyone saw 'Lita' slap him across the face.

"Hello! Forget the first rule already?" 'Lita' snapped. "You listen too much to your little friend than to your friend upstairs. If it wasn't for me, John Cena would have taken his title back long ago."

The audience laughed while back on the ramp Edge was looking anything but pleased. He looked over at Nitro and Melina, who didn't wear any amused looks on their faces either. Looking back at the ring though, he could see John Cena smiling broadly. Edge knew Cena was enjoying this. And so was Flair who was beside Cena.

"Oh man, I don't think Edge is enjoying this at all," Jerry said, sounding concerned.

"And with good reason, but who is behind this prank?" JR wondered, enjoying this show as much as the audience. "Oh, look."

"Where are you going?" 'Edge' asked as 'Lita' stood up.

"Taking a shower. I need to feel 'reborn'," 'Lita' told him. "And don't you dare peek."

The audience watched as 'Lita' got up and walked off screen, her face still concealed from sight. 'Edge' sat on the couch and fumed, but then felt something fall on the couch. 'Lita's' bra.

"Oh boy," King smiled. "I bet this is what the real Edge does with Lita," He watched on as 'Edge' walked into the bathroom, the camera following closely behind.

He flew out head first, and various articles pelted him mercilessly. Hair driers, hair curlers, toilet paper, anything that could be found was being thrown at 'Edge', who was trying to get away. Unfortunately, he tripped over his own feet and fell. On top of that, 'Lita' yelled something that wasn't in English.

"Stop cursing in Spanish, would you! You know I can only speak one language!" 'Edge' snapped.

That's when something fast hit him in the head and he was knocked down to the floor. It was a shampoo bottle. The camera was at a bad angle, but soon they could see the dripping wet slender legs of a woman.

"Then understand this. You got a foul mouth and a dirty brain you perverted ahole," 'Lita' shouted, irate and angry, her curse censored out by bleeps. The audience laughed even more as she continued to curse, only to be totally censored out. The woman's legs left the screen for a bit. 'Edge' started to get up only have 'Lita' step on him. Then she sat down on him, showing her pink robe with red hearts scattered on it. She made sure to pin his arms to his sides. The camera zoomed in on the bar of soap in her hands. "It's up to me to help clean you up. In every way possible. And we'll begin with your mouth!" She jammed 'Edge's' mouth full of the soap. 'Edge' tried to fight back but 'Lita' slapped him across the face. "No! I'm the boss! You're the b tonight Edge! If I've told you once, I've told you a million times! NO PERVERTED SHOWER EVENTS! EVER!"

The Titantron faded out then, turning black. The entire arena however laughed out loud at Edge and Lita's expense. Edge was furious now, his eyes bugged out and his face so full of rage. Even if he told the audience to shut up, they wouldn't have heard him without a microphone. He saw Cena laughing his head off and Flair was also having a good laugh. He turned around to look at Melina and Nitro who Edge saw couldn't help themselves. They didn't laugh, but their faces said it all.

"Oh you think that's funny do you?" Edge snarled, looking over at Johnny Nitro. "See if you think this is funny!" He grabbed his championship belt back from Lita and smashed Nitro in the face with it, knocking him out. Melina's amusement faded away when she saw Edge's infuriated look. "Smile, and I'll give you the same thing," he growled.

"Oh boy. Edge is not happy and neither is Lita if that expression on her face is any indication," the King remarked, seeing Lita was mad, but not as vocal as Edge. Perhaps because she wasn't as humiliated as Edge had been by these pranksters.

"I think Edge belting Nitro with the WWE championship after being laughed would make that obvious," JR remarked. John Cena and Ric Flair were still in the ring, looking on at the drama unfolding on the ramp. "The bottom line here is, who pulled this off?" A question he knew was on everyone's minds.

The audience continued to laugh at Edge, who went back stage for a moment to pick up a microphone. He snapped at the audience. "Shut up you peons! What you just saw! It never happened! You hear me! Lita does not treat me like that! I'm the boss! And she's the,"

"I'm the what?" Lita asked, her voice carrying over into the microphone and it wasn't amused at all. Edge looked back at his woman and saw her angry expression. Edge didn't entirely lose his anger but it was quashed somewhat as he knew he had stepped into a mess.

"Uh-oh. Sounds like someone's in trouble now," the King stated, knowing tension was mounting between the R Rated Superstar and his girl. "Sounds like he could use a way out."

"By now I'd expect the audience is now laughing at the posers in the ring."

Edge and Lita's heads snapped back to the screen as did everyone else. "Oh boy! Ask and you shall receive, King." JR remarked as the Titantron flared back to life. "Looks like there's more to the story!"

They saw they were back to the show as it were and saw the back of a woman with red hair and a pink bath robe looking down. "Sorry I was a little too rough with Edge tonight. But the boy has to know his place."

By now Edge had had enough. "Listen here, you little whore! I don't know what kind of game you are playing here..."

"In case you haven't figured it out, this is a pre-recorded message so you shouldn't waste your breath cursing at me. But then again, thinking has never really been your strong suit. Either of you," 'Lita' said seriously, turning around as she sat down. The camera focused now on her cleavage but she waved her hand and it backed off a bit. "You two jackoffs finally pissed off one too many people. Did you really think that you could get away with hurting anyone you came across? Hell no. You're finally going to get what's coming to you. And for the record, you're not the real Edge and Lita. We are. This is Lita, saying 'Buh-bye!'"

The Titantron went dead. In the audience, it was mix of cheers and laughter. "Oh my god, can you believe this JR?" the King asked in disbelief and shock.

"No I can't. I can't remember seeing anything like this before in my career," JR commented, very curious as to who was behind this.

Edge was irate and was making a scene on the ramp. He would have continued his antics of it wasn't for Cena grabbing a mic and speaking. "Hey Edge!" Instantly the WWE Champion's attention went back to the ring where he saw Cena smiling wide, ear to ear. "You know I'm coming to get my belt back from you. But I'll tell you this, I bet you didn't expect someone else gunning for you," Cena smiled, enjoying Edge's displeasure. "And even though I didn't expect this either, I gotta say, I hope 'Edge and Lita'," the crowd gave a standing ovation again when hearing the way Cena said those two names, "show up again next week and give us another fun filled presentation." He smirked as he saw Edge and Lita's attention were totally on him and Flair and knew they wouldn't see it coming. So he decided to tell them. "Oh one more thing. Turn around."

"What are you--" Was all the R-Rated superstar got to say before getting the Intercontinental Title slammed into his face by a recovered Johnny Nitro. Nitro kicked the downed champion in the ribs before walking off with Melina back stage. The audience cheering for that action.

"Thank you and goodnight everyone!" Cena shouted, and his music played once more.

"What a way to end Raw! What a way!" JR exclaimed. "I can't wait for next week! For the King, this is JR saying, good night everyone!"

As Lita tended to Edge, the WWE champion knew only a few things. The audience mocked him, the Superstars in the back laughed at him, Cena laughed and mocked him. And it was all due to whomever was behind that... that damn video.

For Edge and Lita, there was only anger. Anger, hate and the need to find out just who these people were and make them pay.

To Be Continued...