Clare
Ever since my parents' divorce, my life has went downhill. It's worse than the time I tried to "rebel" and I ended up bringing Eli into my rebellion stage. Eli doesn't know half of the stuff I've been doing. I'm scared that if he finds out, he won't want me to be his girlfriend anymore. But yet, I feel bad because I'm keeping all this from him, and the thing that's even worse? I have a secret. A few, actually. One of them is a secret that I shouldn't even be keeping to myself.
Want to know some of the things I've been keeping from Eli?
I have gotten into drugs. What kind of drugs, you may ask? It's a long list, actually. I've done marijuana, cocaine, crystal meth, shrooms and ecstasy. The drugs I do more often are marijuana, ecstasy and occasionally cocaine.
I cut myself all the time. On my wrists, legs and stomach. It's the only thing that makes me feel alive. I don't know how to stop, and I don't think I even want to.
I've been hanging with Owen and Bianca behind Adam and Eli's back. That's where I get the drugs from. Sometimes I even go to the Ravine with them and get drunk and high.
If people ever found out I've been doing these things, they'd probably say "What happened to Saint Clare? She has the perfect life and a perfect family". Yeah, well, for your information, my life is nowhere near perfect. My father was having an affair with his co-worker before the divorce was even made, I haven't seen Darcy in over a year, and now my mother is a drunk. I can never talk to her anymore. The last time I had a real conversation with her had been months ago.
I love Eli, with all my heart. I don't want to lose him. I just hope that if he ever finds out, he'll understand and let me explain.
I just can only hope he won't do anything stupid once he finds out everything. Especially when he finds out my secret.