Disclaimer: I'm a broke college student who managed to find some free time to write a gooney fanfic. I own nothing… in fact, I have negative monies = So please don't sue me, kthx!
Okay, so maybe two years ago I was conversing with my good friend Carly about how Lord of the Rings characters are always popping up in random fans' lives in fanfics. It's always all too convenient, popping up in a forest, or at a doorstep.
So we thought of a few places that would be extremely unfortunate for our lovable heroes to appear in our world all of a sudden. Probably one shot, just as a list. For kicks and giggles! Enjoy.
+ You're sitting by the fireplace, re-reading the Lord of the Rings series and wishing and hoping your man of choice would plop into your life. Lo and behold, he appears… in your fireplace. Hmm, I hope you like your loving hot.
+ You're wishing the Fellowship would become part of your life during a deep-sea fishing trip with your father. Unbeknownst to you, they appear… at the bottom of the ocean. Glug, glug, glug!
+A lovesick high school girl waits at the bus stop, daydreaming about Legolas. He appears before her eyes, and just as she goes to run to him, the bus comes… WHAM, right over Legolas! Its okay… elves are immortal… kinda.
+As you sleep on your long airplane ride to some place warm and tropical, you are dreaming about finally having Aragorn for your own. You wake with a start and glance out the window. You see him for a split second and he disappears into the clouds below. Hopefully he can Wiley Coyote it and be unharmed.
+One of your favorite characters answers all your wishes and hopes and actually appears in your house. Unfortunately its 3 in the morning and you live on the west side of Chicago. Hearing all the ruckus, your dad grabs his shotgun and, upon sighting the intruder, puts one in his face. Thankfully his head is obliterated so you're unable to realize your dreams have exploded at the hands of your father.
+You're enjoying the monkeys and lions at your local zoo. How you wish Sam could check out all the exotic animals and enjoy a nice ice cream cone with you. However it turns out that Sam becomes the snack in the alligator display. Poor guy, can't even swim!
+I haven't got any clever anecdote for this one, but could you imagine if one of them appeared on the top of a mountain in their skivvies or in the middle of the summer in the Sahara Desert? At least they'd have enough time to be confused.
+You are a ridiculously patriotic American and would stab a terrorist in the face if you could. You wish that Boromir could appear, because you know he'd be able to kick their asses! So… he does, right in the middle of a hostile terrorist base camp. There, he spends the rest of his life where they brutally interrogate him, believing him to be a spy with inside knowledge. "I'm from Gondor, I swear!" "Crazy American bullshit!"
+You're practicing your archery at a shooting range, hoping to one day be as good as Legolas. You pull back your bow and wish he could see you now. He does see you… briefly. He also sees your arrow… right between his eyes. At least he knows you're a good shot!
+You manage to get Super Bowl tickets and you are totally ecstatic! You wonder if Gimli would be any good at the sport… He appears on the field just in time to have a pass land in his arms and gets dog piled by every defensive player on the opposing team. That's gonna hurt in the morning!
+In the middle of a mosh pit during a Rage Against the Machines concert. 'Nuff said.
+Hopefully you guys remember when Furbies came out in the mid-late 90's… yea, they end up at Wal-Mart during a mad Furby rush and get trample to death by crazed soccer moms. "Me scared!"
+You live on a farm somewhere and spend most of your days reading and daydreaming about Lord of the Rings. One day, a severe weather report warns that a tornado has been sighted in your area. You are frightened and wish you had the Fellowship to protect you. They plop in one by one… right on top of an F-5 tornado!
Yea, I know its way ridiculous and I should probably be studying for my Geology exam or something, so I'm done for now. I might add some more later, or maybe you can send me some of your silly ideas. This isn't meant to be offensive, its just a way to warn you that your wishes could actually kill your favorite Lord of the Rings characters!
Haha, just kidding. Thanks for reading, review if you feel such a desire, or scold me for having a sick mind.