A/N-hay my lovely friends...!!!as i told earlier this story is already published but krissy but IS WRITTEN BY ME...AND I AM POSTING IT AGAIN BECAUSE MANY OF YOU HAVE NOT READ IT...
Ohhh...god...!its such a difficult task to write anything humourous...but i am just giving my first try here...hope it meets to your expectation...
I am a huge fan of dareya and...This is the first time i am writing something about dareya...so please bear with me...and if at all you find anything improper ...feel free to tell me...i will try my best to improve my self...so all the dareya lovers cheersss...
!Enough of my own bak bak...now its time to proceed on...soo...here goes it...
-ST. JOSEPH SENIOR SECONDARY SCHOOL
-*CLASS-8 TH*
A girl is seen sitting attentively putting her 100% concentration over the board where a teacher is seen scribbing something over it and talking continuosly like a radio...unaware of the fact that it is understood by the students or not..The girl is trying her level best to grasp those formulaes but all her attempt seems to go in vain...she considers maths as the most idiotic subject of all...she is silently listening to the teacher lecture and nodding in between to show that she is getting each and everything...
She gets distracted by a boy who was sitting just next to her and humming a beautiful song...
Boy-(looks at her and smiles) Badi hi senti wali mental hai ye choriyan
Badi hi senti wali mental hai ye choriyan
O ki macchar bhi kaateTo selfie uski khich le
ki macchar bhi kaateTo selfie uski khich le
Zamaane se lena na dena haaye
Zamaane se lena na dena
Ya Khuda ya Khuda tu humein inse bachana
zara
Ki nakli noton ka ek bundle hain ye choriyan...
Girl(gets angry)- Ho subah o shaam taade ye ladkiyon ko gaur se
Lage haath dil pe par dhadke kahi aur se..
Akal hai matar ka daana re haaye..
Akal hai matar ka daana re
Ya Khuda ya Khuda aayina inko dikhana zara
Aji harkat se accidental hain ye chokre..
Humein kehte hain par khud mental hai ye chokre
Humein kehte hain par khud mental hai ye chokre...
Boy (enjoys the frustration of her and continues)- Haaye ye mascara lipgloss ki jitni bahar hai
Jo ladke palat ke na dekhe toh bekar hai
Na dekhe toh bekar hai...
Na dekhe toh bekar hai
Ho ye Audi BMW ghanta Jaguar hai
Jo ladki na baithi to kaahe ki mehangi car hai
Haan ye duniya hai bus stop ladki bus ke jaisi
Rukko paanch minuton me agli phir milegi
Ho sambhal ke kahin na yeh bus chhut jaaye
Baaki zindagi warna paidal hi kategi
Ladkiyan bana bola, God ne bhi 'Oh my god...!!!
Girls now gets more angry than before-
Ladkiyon ke pairon ka sandal hain yeh chokre..
Humein kehte hain par khud mental hain yeh chokre
Arre harqat se accidental hain yeh chokre...
Boys(smiling and enjoying the agony of her face)
Main hoon wo sandal ki jispe tera bojh hai
Main single pasli tu double dose hai
Kaisa ye dastoor kaisa riwaz hai
Medium dulhe ki dulhan extra large hai
Tujhe kya lagta hai teri hirni chaal haiTeri kamar hai kamra tu BHK hall hai
Rishta hai nahi ye to poora scam hai
Zindagi ka safar ab to stuck in jam hai..
Girl (more angry and louder than before)- Patli kamar ki tujhkoItni kya demand hain
Brad Pitt ka pota haiYa tu James Bond hai
Maa agar teri moti hoti to kya chhod deta
Size ke darr se kya tu usse bhi nata tod deta...hatt...!
Haan vajan ka kya hai ye workout se ghat jayegaTere jaise blonder kaise undu ho payega...
(andthe last line was so loud that it gains the attention of whole class as well as teacher..)
Teacher -SHREYAAAAA...!SHREYA gets startled and suddenly stood up from her place...she was too confused that she didnt knew what is going on the class...
Teacher-shreya what i was teaching right now...?
Shreya(absent mindedly)- Aurat jaat ko jo neecha dikhayega
Jaan le besharam mitti mein mil jaayega...
!Tere jaise budbak ko thodi budhi bakshe re khuda
Sympathy unse hai jinke gharTere jaisa puttar h...
(she was cut in between by him)
Teacher-(shouts)shreya...!what the hell are you saying...have you lost all your manners and etticates..its high time now ...you better come with me to the principal office...
Shreya(realised what she has done and in a teary tone)i am so sorry sir ...pp..please...i.i...am...(with this She burst into tears...And the boy sitting next to her was smiling all the time...Shreya-please sir...!this is the last time...please forgive me...!
Teacher-no..shreya you please move out of the class...i am not taking you to the principal office this time but please beware...!with this he turned towards the boy..
Teacher-"and YOUU...!Mr senti wale mental...!what do you think that i was not listening to your song...Please dont think yourself a decent guy...i will talk to your father mr. Daya..."Listening to the word father he gets restless and says...
Daya-''sir'' ...''please i am so sorry...! please dont tell my father anything...please sir i beg you..dont tell him...''"Actually i will tell you what is the truth...''(he shot a glance at shreya with puppy eyes..shreya who was staring at him got the meaning)
He continued...''Sir wo actually shreya ne mujhe force kiya tha ki mai uske saath antaakshari khelu...to mai wahi kar raha tha...bas aur kuch khaas nai...
''Shreya-yess sir...!I did this...I forced him to sing...she took all the blame of daya on her head...
Teacher-shame on you both...!i am teaching here and you both are having singing competition...you two better leave my class..!
They were still standing in their place when they again heard the teacher"LEAVE..!i said just LEAVE...!
With their head down...they move out of the class...First they both look at each other angrily and then burst into laughter..
Shreya-daya...!maine aaj tumhari help ki...tumhe teacher ki daant se bachaya...warna wo tumhare dad ko bata dete...
Daya-hmm...i know shreya and thank you so much...!
Shreya-nah...baby...mujhe tumhara thanx nai chahiye...u know naa what i want...
Daya-ha...ms fair and lovely...i know..tum mujhe teen commands dogi aur mjhe follow karna hoga...aur agar nahi kiya to tum mere sare secrets mere dad...acp praduman ko bata dogi...!RIGHT...?
Shreya-yeah exactly mr shakti kapoor...tum to bade samajhdar ho gaye...!Daya-(bending majestically)aapka pehla hukm sarkaar...
!Shreya -(in a bossy tone)mera pehla hukm ye hai ki kal purvi ka birthday hai...and you have to dance in the party wearing..saree and jewels...!
Daya-(smilingly)itaat aali janab...ham wahi karenge jaisa aap kahengi..(suddenly realisingwhat she had asked for)kyaaaaaa...?Tum pagal ho kya...?mai saree kaise pehnunga...?aur jeweleries...!eewwwe...Arey mai to ladka hun...
Shreya-(fake anger)ok ...no problem..!to aaj mai tumhare ghar aa rahi hun...mai acp uncle se bataungi...ki mr shakti kapoor ne iss bar valentines day ko kitni ladkiyon ko propose kiya hai...aur haan mai unhe wo facebook wali girl friend ke bare mein bhi bataungi...aur wo wahi kya naam tha uska...?yeah amaya ...mai bataungi tum uske saath kitna flirt karte ho...aur wo aditi ka number tumne uske diary se nikal kar usko khoob pareshan kiya tha...
aur sabse most important baat to reh gayi ki tumm...unki permission ke bina school bunk karke movie dekhne gaye the...aur haan..jab mai unko movie ka naam bataungi...phir to tmhari aa gayi...
She was continuosly speaking when all of a sudden daya closed her mouth with his hànd...
Daya-basss...bass..!haan haar gaya mai ms fair and lovely...pehnunga mai saree...blouse bhi pehnunga...aur petti coat bhi...Gale mein mangalsutra.., haathon mein choodiya..,aur nakli balon ka jooda...aankhon me lip gloss aur lips mei mascara...aur high heels..bhi.. aur kuch...?
Shreya was laughing out loud...
Shreya-yes shakti kapoor...aap bilkul aise hi tayyar rahiye ga...Mai aaungi kal aapko lene aapke ghar se...!And daya was fuming in anger...
NEXT DAY...AT DAYA HOUSE...
As daya father was a.c.p. he had gone to attend some meeting in delhi..and daya forced her mother to go for shopping..so that he can get a proper time to make himself ready...He was checking each saree of his mother by putting it on him in front of the mirror from each angle ...
Finally he got to like one and immediately woreit ...(shreya taught him how to wear a saree)
He then took out a artificial bun and place it on his head ...he fixes it with some clips...(actually all the items were given by shreya before handedly...)
He puts some cream on his face and wore the bangles ,a necklace...and teeka and jhoomar...
The only problem faced by him was that how to do makeup...He at once took his phone and browsed some pictures of brides and open some makeup tutorials...
he placed the phone vertically on the dressing table and decides to copy their makeup...he took a red lipstic from the bag and clearly put it around his lips...
he then searches for a kajal ...but to his unfortunate luck it was not present there...he took a eyeliner and thought it to a lip liner ...he put it around his lips...it was a totally a deadly combination...He then took out lip liner and put it as kajal...but it became brown...
he at once got a idea..and took a black sketch pen from his bag...and assuming it as a kajal he put it in his eyes...he applies lip gloss over his eyes...He then applies some face powder and also puts blushers...Yess...and now he was ready...with his full makeup on he gave himself a proud look ...(but in real you can assume guys...what he was actually looking like..)
Boom...!boom...!
came the car horns..He dorns the saree pallu over him..and move outside...locks the door and move towards the car...
Shreya waved him to come fast...He comes and sat beside her...
Shreya(smilingly)areeyyy...!mohtarma zara muh to dikhaiye...aapke deedar ho jate to achahota...
Daya-(shyingly)aji aap bhi naa...nahi mujhe sharam aati hai...aap khud dekh lijiye...(in a girlish tone)
Shreya removed his pallu...and gets shocked seeing his horrible
makeup...
but she managed to smile somehow...
"Daya ek chiz ki kami reh gayi hai" ...with this she takes out a bindi from her clutch ..and placed it on his forehead..."Ab tum bilkul dulhan lag rahe ho...!kisi ko bhi tumhari nazar naa lage..."
In the party..
Shreya and daya were walking with each other...
Shreya-"mohtarma zara nazakat se chaliye..."aaurton ki tarah...
Daya-dekho shreya waise bhi bahut kuch face kar chuka...naa sahi se khaa pa raha hun..na pee pa raha hau...pet mei haathi ke size ke choohe kood rahe hai...please ab to chod do..
Shreya-mohtarma aapko chodne ke liye thodi hi pakda ha...
Daya-arey yaar tum bahut buri ho..mai tumse kabhi baat nai karunga...just go to hell...!mai abhi jaa raha hun...
But a lady comes and calls them for dance...she called shreya...Shreya beta chaliye dance floor par ...aur haan apni mummy ko bhi lete aana...
Shreya-okk..aunti...just coming..!Actually mummy ko bahut bhook lagi hai...(looking at daya)aap please chaliye...ham aa rahe hai...
Lady-beta tum chalo...mai tmhari mummy ko khana khila kar lati hun...
Shreya and daya both together-NAHIII...
!Shreya-nahi aunti actually maine bhi nahi khaya hai naa...to mummy ke saath kha lungi...
Lady nodded and left...
Daya-bachhh gayeee...!Shreya-chaliye mummy ji...!After some time..Daya and shreya both dance on the song pura london thumakdaa...After an hour or two...the party was over and they all came back to their houses...
NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
shreya was waiting for daya but he had not arrived yet...after a span of time she noticed him coming...she at once goes and hugs him...
Shreya-shakti kapoor aaj itni der kyu..??
?Daya-areeyy...meri fair and lovely ko meri itni fikr ho rahi hai...?
Shreya-ji nahi mujhe aapko 2 commands aur dene hai...(naughty grin)Daya-areyyy wo kal wala kam nahi tha kya yaar...jo aaj phir shuru ho gayi ...ab bass mai kuch bhi nahi karne wala ...àur tum se baat bhinàhi karunga...!
Shreya -(very much enjoying his irritation)mr...to kya mai uss movie ka naam batau...acp uncle ko...?
Daya-nahhhhhiiiiiiiiii...tum apna second order do...?
Shreya-(after deep thinking )achha to tumhe uss jadega ki car puncture karni hogi..!
Daya-kyaaa..!jadega ..wo maths teacher pagalho kya..?agar maine aisa kiya tab to wo seedhapapa ke paas pahuchega...nahi...nahi shreya please kuch aur do...!
Shreya-(in a loud voice)-DARPOKK...!KAYAR...!LOSER...!
Daya-sab kuch keh sakti ho par ye nahi samjhi...main bahut bahadur hoon...!aur ab to mai iss jadega ki car puncture kar ke rahunga...Shreya smiles...
PARKING LOT...
during lunch time...
Daya took out fork from his tiffin..and tries to pierce it into the tyres...but to his bad luck...fork breaks...!he then goes and brings some pens..and took their refill and tries to pierce...but again his bad luck..the whole ink oozes from it and reaches directly on his face...he tries to wipe it..but the ink covers his face more properly...
He was now fully drenched with inks of 6-7 refills...He was trying hard to puncture but everytime he fails...and suddenly his mind got a idea...
Daya pov-yesss... !compass thik rahega...lekinwo to class mein hai...kaise laun...?
He was lost in his thoughts when he feels someone presence behind him..he didnt botherd to look back...
He found that someone was giving him compass...actually his back was facing him...He took compass and turns to look at the person's face but ...!Daya gets 440 volt ka jhatka... hayeee..!
Daya-(shocked)aap...!?Person-yess...kyu kya hua...?ye lo compass...karo meri gadi ko puncture ...(angrily)
Daya-na...na...nahi sir ..!actually wo kya hai naa..ham apki gadi sahi kar rahe the...uski servicing kar rahe the...!
Jadega-fork se ..!
pointed refill se..!
Daya...han sir ham check kar rahe the ki kahin tyre to phata nahi hai...b..bass aur kuch nahi...
Till then teacher hold his ears and brought himto class...
shreya was shocked to see this...firstlyy it was his face which shocked everyone in the class..it was a face painted in blue and black...
Jadega-bolo kaun tha tmhare plan mei shamil...?kyu kiya tumne aisa..?i think its hightime now...mujhe tmhare dad se bat karni hi hogi...i cant take it any more...
Daya-( looks at shreya with puppy eyes and signalled her something)I am sorry sir...please abb aisa nahi hoga...
Shreya( who was watching all the scenario stood up from her place)-sirr...!All attention went towards her...Sir ye sab daya ne mere kehne par kiya...mai ne hi usse kaha tha...aap please daya ko kuch mat boliye...
jo punishment deni hai mjhe dijiye...Daya gets shocked because he was not expecting this ,this time ...
he had signalled shreya to keep her mouth shut but again she took it in a wrong way and saved him...
Daya pov-mai shreya se islye mana kar raha tha..taki mai uske unn useless commands se bach sakun...kya kya nahi karati hai wo mujhse papa nam ki top se darakar...mai itna kuch iske kehne par face karta hunn...aur ye maharani aaram se hasti hai...aur class me sara blame le kar mujhpar ehsaan karti hai...huh..!aaj ye mai nahi hone dunga...Lekin daya ka bad luck bhi naa ...
He at once come out of his thought to see shreya going out of the class holding her ears and winking at him...he at once shouted SSSIIIRRRRRRR...!
jadega-no arguments please ...!and move back to your seat...!
Having no option he silently...took his seat...and hold his head in his hand and the only words he managed to speak was...
THIS TIME ITS FOUR...ONE PENDING...!
THE END
author note -SO guys how was it...?i know it was not upto your expectation but what to do...?my busy and tight schedule...ufffff...!!!!
and top of that it had to be humouros...to thoda mushkil tha...lekin phir bhi i just managed...sooo...tell me...ki aapko kaisa laga...hasi aayi ya nahi...?
bye take care
aapki aiza
see u soon