A/N: Oh, how I wish this would happen. Maybe someday. Please? I listened to a radio interview on the internet earlier with Billie Piper, one that was recorded only a few days ago. She stated cryptically that you never know, Rose could come back one day. She said 'that's the beauty of sci-fi.' We can hope!
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. Blah, blah, blah...
Hope you enjoy it!
"Rose, hold on!"
Rose grasped the lever as tightly as she could, but it was no good. Her fingers, and her life, were beginning to slip away.
"Hold on!"
She could only just about hear the Doctor's panic-stricken voice as the wind rushed past her ears. Her hands were burning as she fought frantically to keep her grip, but to no avail as the friction against the rubber began to sting her skin until she could hold on no more. In an instant she felt her arms give out, and as if in slow motion, her hands slipped away and she went tumbling backwards.
"ROSE!" She heard the Doctor scream her name in a tone that scared her to death more than the looming emptiness of the void did.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He yelled after her, the sound of pure terror reaching her ears, and she wished she could just hold him.
And then, in the blink of an eye, something grabbed hold of her. She stole a fleeting glance at the Doctor, saw his frantic eyes, and then she was gone.
xxxx
Rose was shaking, and it had nothing to do with how cold the beach was.
"Will I ever see you again?" she choked out.
The Doctor looked at her painfully.
"You can't."
She stared at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I lo…"
She looked to the floor for a second and sniffed, fighting hard to regain her composure long enough to be able to tell him the one thing she was most afraid of.
"I love you." She felt like she was suffocating.
The Doctor smiled gently at her.
"Quite right too. And I suppose… if it's my last chance to say it…"
Rose watched him take a deep breath, her heart in her mouth.
"Rose Tyler -"
He vanished.
Rose blinked, unsure of what had just happened. Then she gasped as she realised he was never coming back. A moan of anguish escaped from her lips, and a flood of fresh tears cascaded down her face. She turned to face her mum, and they ran to each other.
xxxx
The Doctor closed the TARDIS door, blocking out the snowy London street.
"Doctor?" a voice called to him. He sighed and opened the door again. He stared at the red-haired woman in front of him, waiting for her to speak.
"What was her name?" Donna said, the gentle look on her face a stark contrast to how it had been earlier that day.
The Doctor's voice trembled slightly as a lump caught in his throat.
"Her name was Rose."
xxxx
"What's your name?"
"Martha. Martha Jones."
"Nice to meet you, Martha Jones. I'm the Doctor."
Rose snapped her eyes open and sat bolt upright, inhaling a huge lungful of air as she tried her hardest to breathe normally. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks from where she had been crying in her sleep and rolled on to it, and her stomach was flip-flopping in the most nauseating way.
"Oh, God," she gasped, putting a hand to her chest.
It had all just been a dream. No, scrap that. It had just been a nightmare.
A nightmare.
Rose was able to handle nightmares.
Ordinarily.
But this one had been more real than any other she'd ever had. This one had played on her worst fears.
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed with the intention of getting up, but she hesitated and froze. She was an adult now. She hadn't run to anyone with her nightmares since she was a little girl.
Rose was gripping the edge of her bed so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. She needed him, she reasoned with herself. When she was a little girl she never dreamed about things as scary as Daleks and Cybermen. They'd never existed. But now they did, and now it was different. New tears pooled in her eyes as she went over how she'd lost the Doctor. It had been so real. And now she really did need to go and see him, just to make sure he was still really there. Well, she was still in the TARDIS, so that was a good start.
Rose stood up shakily and resisted the urge to swoon as she experienced a head-rush. Blinking to clear her vision, she steadied herself and went and grabbed her dressing gown off of the large overstuffed chair that sat cosily in the corner of her room. She pulled it on quickly, wrapping it protectively around her before wiping her face with the back of her hand and then quietly opening her bedroom door.
After searching the control room, the kitchen, the library and the living room, she felt the TARDIS give her brain a gentle nudge that said he had actually gone to bed, which was unusual for him as he didn't seem to sleep much. Well, she assumed he didn't. She always went to bed before him and he was always already up and about by the time she got up. She soon came across a familiar door, and she silently thanked the TARDIS for making her job easier. Her hand lingered around the handle for a bit, suddenly unsure of whether or not to disturb him. A wave of bashfulness came over her. A nightmare was just a nightmare. It didn't mean anything. He'd surely laugh at her for being so silly, wouldn't he? Would be a bit peeved that she'd woken him up just for that.
No, a voice in her head told her. No, he wouldn't. Of course he wouldn't. She tapped lightly on the door before turning the handle and letting herself in. As she pushed the door open, the light from the corridor shone over the Doctor, highlighting his features in an almost eerie way. Rose left the door ajar slightly so she could move over to him without tripping herself up, picking her way carefully over his clothes, which he had left scattered unceremoniously over the floor.
She reached the bed and looked at him sleeping peacefully, a delicate smile playing over her lips as she thought about how innocent he looked. She looked towards the door, suddenly feeling very guilty about being there, although she didn't quite know why. It wasn't like she'd walked in without any reason.
"Rose?"
Rose jumped slightly at the sound of her name and turned towards the source of it.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
The Doctor squinted at her through the dim light, and then a look of worry flickered across his face.
"Have you been crying?"
"I…" Rose trailed off, feeling for all the world like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
The Doctor pushed himself up into a sitting position and patted the empty space next to him.
"Come here."
Rose obediently sat herself next to him, all the while trying not to look him in the eyes.
He noticed this and gently put a hand to her cheek, turning her head until she was forced to look at him.
"I'm sorry," she said again, her voice trembling. "I shouldn't have disturbed you." She made to move but the Doctor caught her hand and pulled her back down.
"Rose."
She sighed, hoping it would stop the tears that were threatening to fall. When that didn't work she looked up at him warily.
"Oh, sweetheart," he said softly, and he pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her.
Rose let out a sob, her tears dampening the Doctor's t-shirt.
The Doctor rested his cheek against her head.
"Bad dream?" he guessed.
Rose nodded. "Very bad."
The Doctor pulled back from her a bit and tenderly rubbed a thumb under each of her eyes, wiping away the tears.
"Want to tell me about it?"
"I just… it…" she sighed with frustration as she fought to get the words out.
The Doctor waited patiently as she tried to catch her breath.
Rose shook her head.
"It's silly, really. Honestly."
"If it were that silly you wouldn't be so upset. Dreams affect us in many different ways. It's ok to talk about it." The Doctor smiled at her persuasively. "Honestly," he added as an afterthought.
Rose sighed again. She wasn't going to win. So she launched in to her nightmare, describing it to the Doctor as best she could. She told him about the Daleks and the Cybermen, the war that raged between them, the sacrifice she made when she leapt on to the lever to stop the void from closing too soon.
The Doctor made no interruption as he waited patiently for her to finish, a look of mild horror on his face.
She went on to tell him about their goodbye at the beach in Norway, although she left out the part where she told him she loved him. Then there was Donna and Martha.
By the time she'd finished, Rose felt like her heart was about to break.
"And that's when I woke up," she said, sniffing and wiping her eyes furiously.
The Doctor brought her hand away from her face and held it gently, lovingly stroking the back of it with his thumb.
"You crammed a lot into a few hours sleep," he said jokingly, before turning more serious.
"You know that's never going to happen, right? I'll never leave you. Not ever."
Rose choked back a sob. "It was just so real."
"I know," he said, folding her up in his arms again. He let her cry the last of her tears out, rubbing his hand up and down her arm to calm her.
"You can't promise me though, can you?" Rose suddenly said.
"What?" the Doctor said, giving her a puzzled look.
Rose turned to face him.
"You can promise that you'll never choose to leave me, but you can't promise that you won't leave me whatever happens. If something like my dream did happen, you wouldn't be able to stop it, no matter how much you wanted to." She was shaking again, and the Doctor pulled the duvet up around her.
"You're right. But trust me; I'll do everything in my power to make sure you are never put in a situation like that. That I can promise." He then looked at her somewhat guiltily.
"I do seem to have a knack for attracting trouble don't I? I should have protected you more. Some of the things you've seen… Well, it's no wonder you're having nightmares."
Rose reached up and touched his face. "It's not your fault."
The Doctor gave her a small smile.
"Isn't it?"
"No, it's not." She yawned and stretched her arms in front of her.
"Come on. Time for you to get some sleep." The Doctor kissed the top of her head before releasing his hold on her.
Rose looked towards the door and hesitated, her eyes widening slightly in fear. The Doctor noticed this and made a quick decision.
"Do you want to stay here?"
Rose looked shocked for a second. She hadn't been expecting that.
"No, its ok," she lied. "I'll be fine."
"Rose."
She took a deep breath.
"Yes, please."
She snuggled into the bed as the Doctor slid out of it and went to close the door.
"Ouch!" a yelp came from the dark.
"You ok?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, just trod on my shoe."
"Well, it's your own fault for not tidying your things away properly," she chided, but she gave a small laugh all the same.
"Thanks," he said, pretending to be grumpy about it. But that soon faded as he all but bounced back in to bed.
"Feeling better," he asked with genuine concern.
"Much better. Thank you."
"No problem," he replied, making himself comfortable. "I wonder what set it off though."
"Dunno," Rose lied again. She had an inkling it had something to do with what he had said to her a few weeks ago, just before they went off to watch the 2012 Olympics.
There's a storm coming.
That was when she learnt not to take him so literally, as she spent 10 minutes worrying to herself about what it might be before the sky clouded over and the heavens opened, the sudden torrential rain soaking them through to the skin in seconds. Where there had been little wind before, gales suddenly threatened to send them toppling over and bouncing off down the street. The Doctor had made a comment about Britain's freaky weather patterns before dragging Rose back to the TARDIS to get changed before she caught her death of cold. He'd then re-parked the TARDIS right next to the stadium, and they were then able to watch the opening ceremony in relative comfort. Rose had laughed at the look of amazement that had crossed the Doctor's face when he saw that a sliding roof had been built into the stadium, keeping everyone inside nice and dry. I never would have guessed they'd think of that, he'd said.
"What you thinking about?" the Doctor asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Oh, nothing in particular." Rose inwardly scolded herself. She had to stop telling so many fibs. Well, white lies really. They were only tiny ones.
The Doctor made a noise, as if he'd started to say something, but then changed his mind. Rose thought he probably felt a bit awkward. After all, they were sharing his bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night. It was the most intimate thing they had ever done, and the atmosphere felt a bit uncomfortable, sort of like when you're stuck on your own with someone you really, really like, and they like you too, although they haven't told you so, and you're not quite confident enough about the situation to make the first move, but then the longer you sit there, the hotter your face gets and the more your body loses it's co-ordination until something has to happen in order to stop the Earth from spinning the other way, and…
Oh, Rose suddenly thought. This is one of those times, isn't it.
Isn't it?
She drew in a sharp breath, perhaps a bit too loudly because the Doctor took it as a sign that she was becoming distressed again, and closed the gap between them until he was pressing his chest in to her back as he hugged her reassuringly.
Oh, that's not good, Rose thought.
"I'm ok," she squeaked, before clearing her throat.
Nevertheless, the Doctor stayed in that position. Little did she know it was because he was suddenly too scared to move. So they just lay there, both too scared to move, too scared to talk and too scared to sleep.
A lifetime later, well, maybe not a lifetime but a good 15 minutes or so, Rose, after she had just about managed to stop a tingle going down her spine every time his hot breath brushed the back of her neck, silently cursed the heavens as she felt the Doctor's fingers start to wander ever so gently up and down her bare arm. Lucky it was dark, because her face, neck and ears were burning again and she swore that she'd turned a shocking shade of red. The effort of holding herself together was making her dizzy, and her breathing had become slightly ragged, although she prayed he hadn't noticed. After a few minutes she cursed again as, after feeling his breath quicken and his hearts race, the Doctor placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder, paused, and then placed a couple on her neck. It was as if he were testing the water; seeing if he would get slapped or not. The truth was, an almighty blast of heat was exploding underneath Rose's skin every time his lips brushed against her. But after that, she didn't need anymore of a reason to hold herself together. How he felt was crystal clear. Clearer than crystal clear, and reason could go and take a run and jump out of the nearest window.
He wanted her.
Rose couldn't believe her luck.
Still nervous and feeling slightly sick, Rose slowly turned onto her back and faced him. She could just about make out the outline of his face in the blackness, and for a moment or two, nothing happened. It was as if time had frozen. She knew when it had started again though, because Rose could feel the heat radiating off of the Doctor as his face drew closer to hers. In fact, Rose was surprised he wasn't glowing.
And then it happened. And for a second she couldn't breathe as his lips met hers ever so softly. Her mouth, thankfully, caught up with her brain quicker than she had anticipated, and she pressed it just as softly against his. The Doctor then pulled away, and Rose thought for a second that he'd lost his nerve. However, she could feel him smiling as he gently rubbed his nose against hers. Then there was an awkward pause, until the Doctor's hand caressed her cheek and Rose could stand it no longer.
"Kiss me," she whispered, sounding as if she'd just run a marathon.
He indulged her completely, this time pressing his lips to hers more firmly than he had before.
Rose put her hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. She swore blind that if she had been standing at that moment in time, her knees would have buckled underneath her, especially when she felt his hand caress the curve of her waist. They were both trembling against each other, a mixture of fear and the release of pent-up passion.
The Doctor regretfully pulled away from her as he tried to catch his breath.
"Rose?"
"Yes?" she breathed against him, kissing his neck and making the hairs stand on end.
"You know that bit in your dream where you said I was about to tell you something on the beach before I disappeared?"
"Mmmm," she replied, not stopping her assault on his neck.
The Doctor moaned gently before placing a hand under her chin and bringing her face round to his.
"I think I know what it was," he panted. "I think I was going to tell you that I loved you".
Rose broke out into a grin. "Really?" she breathed.
"Actually, I don't think. I know that that is what I was going to say."
Rose felt her eyes begin to water, and her voice shook slightly as she spoke.
"You really love me?"
"Yes," he said, taking her hand and kissing it. "I really do love you. More than anything."
"I have a confession," Rose said as a tear escaped down her face.
"What's that?"
"That bit in my dream on the beach. What you were going to tell me was actually a response to something I'd said to you."
"And what was that?"
Rose could tell by the tone of his voice that he'd already guessed, but she said it anyway.
"I told you I loved you. And I honestly do."
"Really? Well, I guess we're a match made in heaven then," he said mischievously, and Rose could feel him grinning against her as he kissed her again. She giggled, before completely giving in to him.
Maybe bad dreams do have their benefits after all.