Summary: The baby lets out a gurgle in Tokuma's arms and reaches out small hands, tugging on Tokuma's hair hard enough his whole head jerks to the side.
Hiashi full-body flinches, pulling away as though the tiny, harmless, vulnerable baby is some kind of abomination.
It's just a child Tokuma thinks and busies himself with untangling the child's chubby hands from his hair, a safe alternative than coming to blows with Hiashi.
(that AU that no one asked for: Tokuma becomes a single dad and Sai gets the love he deserves)
Hiashi sends Tokuma a very indiscrete, condescending look over the glass of water that's pressed to his lips and it takes every fibre in his body not to close the ever so small distance between them and smash the glass over his head.
Tokuma did his best.
He did his best and it worked. The mission is complete.
The mission was to track down a rogue Konoha shinobi. Which Tokuma did. Travelled miles and miles but he found the shinobi – Tokuma hasn't trained until he can't feel his legs and his head screams at him every goddamn day for nothing.
The mission specified that the shinobi be eliminated.
The mission didn't specify that the shinobi's tiny, little baby had to eliminated as well.
So Tokuma didn't.
The baby lets out a gurgle in Tokuma's arms and reaches out small hands, tugging on Tokuma's hair hard enough his whole head jerks to the side.
Hiashi full-body flinches, pulling away as though the tiny, harmless, vulnerable baby is some kind of abomination.
It's just a child Tokuma thinks and busies himself with untangling the child's chubby hands from hair, a safe alternative than coming to blows with Hiashi. Being in the Main House has proven to do him no favours. He's already been kicked to the absolute outskirts of the Hyuuga compound - shunned him - because he had an opinion that happened to differ from Hiashi and the Hyuuga elders.
Tokuma had moved out of the compound all together. They'd tried to put him the most uninhabitable building the Hyuuga had to offer before his best – and admittedly only - friend Maruten Akimichi had shown up and dragged him off to look for apartments.
The Hyuuga want him out of the way, out of their hair where he can go and be a disgrace where no other Hyuuga can see.
"You have the strongest Byakugan in the Hyuuga at this time," one of the elders starts, her voice dragging, looking over at Tokuma through judgemental eyes. "And you plan to waste your talent on a child? Not to mention, a rather unremarkable child at that."
She spits out the words but Tokuma's been spoken to like that his entire life. Tokuma's entire life has been focused around get stronger. Get up. Not good enough. He's used to it.
"Yes," Tokuma says, he rubs his hand along the child's spine, making him giggle.
Tokuma just murdered this child's father.
He's just potentially ruined this child's life and mission or not, he can't ignore that.
(And isn't that where he falls through. Tokuma's always felt too much, too intensely. He won't kill a child without him confirming that there will be a benefit to Konoha when most other shinobi wouldn't hesitate.
If only he was more ruthless, coldblooded. If he could stop fucking feeling, then he'd be still comfortably in the Main House's rooms, they wouldn't have tried to force him into the most awful apartment the Hyuuga had to offer. He wouldn't be holding a baby. He wouldn't be feeling guilty for murdering a rogue shinobi he never knew. He wouldn't be feeling this anger – white and hot, burning through his veins.)
Hiashi levels him with a stare that's a cold promise of pain, but it's awfully like Tokuma's father when he was alive. Eventually, the glares stop being so terrifying, the pain stops being so horrific and eventually it becomes an accepted part of life. Eventually, Tokuma got used it.
"I'll go on any missions you want as per normal, I now just have a child with me. I'm sure I can find someone to watch him when I am unable to." Tokuma lets the child chew on his finger as the elder scoffs, leaning back in her seat.
Tokuma's always been bad at knowing where the line is - when he needs to let it drop and just give it up, so instead, he barrels forward.
"I'm almost completely out of your hair, I no longer attend clan meetings just like you wanted, Hiashi-sama. There is no need to worry yourself. I'll still be on active duty. And if the Hyuuga need me in regards to my Byakugan, I'll not hesitate to help." Tokuma keeps his voice light and respectful.
Tokuma doesn't like Hiashi and he doesn't like the elders, but he'd run away with his mouth before and that got him as close to kicked out of the Hyuuga compound as very few have ever really gotten.
However, no baby deserves to face death due to another's choices. He's not letting a baby be the victim of shitty politics. Tokuma's already in the elders and Hiashi's bad books. If he was anyone else, he doubts he would've gotten away with it.
Hiashi and the elders can spit on his grave as much as he likes when Tokuma is dead and gone if he dies before Hiashi which technically more likely given the amount of time Tokuma spends in the field.
But Tokuma will always be the one that gave this child another chance at life and didn't intend to squish out the little spark because it was 'inconvenient'.
Tokuma wasn't the one who considered murdering a fucking child. Tokuma's not a wonderful person. He murdered this child's father, kills people far too often to be okay, he's too emotional, too quick to throw himself in the line of fire as his Jounin Sensei had once said.
But he's giving this child a chance. It doesn't make up for how much pain he's caused others, but it's better than nothing.
Hiashi huffs and downs the rest of the water. There's a tense moment of staring between the elder and Hiashi, muscles coiled and faces contorted.
Hiashi abruptly turns to Tokuma and dismisses him.
Tokuma bows as best he's able to with the child clutched to his chest still and walks swiftly out of the building.
'Kill them with kindness' was a saying of his mother's when she was alive, and Tokuma is going to stab the Hyuuga elders and Hiashi to death with as much politeness as he can muster.
He's learnt his lesson, and that got him basically shunned. But he's not letting Hiashi use Tokuma's own mistakes over this child, so he won't give Hiashi any more ammunition against him.
The sunlight makes the hair of the child in Tokuma's arms all the darker and he strokes a hand through it. Dark eyes peer at him, contrasting against his pale skin. The baby needs a name; his father had asked that of him before Tokuma had sliced his throat open.
Tokuma shifts the child onto his hip and pointedly ignores the stares of curious and judgemental Hyuugas.
He runs his hands along Sai's back and doesn't fight off the grin at the kid's delighted squeal as Tokuma hits a ticklish spot. They exit the Hyuuga compound and the child rests his head against Tokuma's shoulder, gripping a tiny hand in his Jounin blues.
"Sai," Tokuma whispers, running a cautious finger across his forehead and marvelling at the softness. He perks up at Tokuma's voice, his small mouth forming the cutest smile Tokuma has ever seen.
"I'll call you Sai," he says, his voice comes out stronger and Sai snuggles back into his shoulder, content.
Tokuma has always been bad at knowing where the line is. He's always been bad at knowing if what he's doing will be good in the end or if he's just dissolving into a nameless murderer.
But with Sai snuggled against his shoulder, there isn't a doubt that this is the best decision that Tokuma's ever made.
Here is Tokuma's naruto wiki page: wiki/Tokuma_Hy%C5%ABga if you can't remember who he is!
(why do I always love the obscure background characters help me)
Anyway! I've seen a few posts on Tumblr mentioning how we don't know jack shit about Sai's past beyond Danzou, so this is basically a little AU where Sai's dad goes missing-nin, and Tokuma happens to be the one to get the mission to get rid of him.
Tokuma becomes a single dad and Sai gets a happy childhood!
idk if this was any good, comments keep me motivated, I'll love you for it!