Emma POV then Regina's. It mixes later on. Treasured possessions, a sense of adventure, searching for home. Do they ever find it?
Other relationships including ones with Daniel and Neal are mentioned. No sexual references/ or kissing but they are mentioned and certainly at the time the two women think they are in love with the respective men. If you don't like this please don't read it. Dragon Queen also mentioned
Disclaimer: Characters/Lyrics mentioned aren't mine.
Unbeta'd.
Please review if you feel up to it
Emma didn't understand what was happening. All she knew was that she was going on an adventure. She'd never been on a real life adventure before. She was going to be an explorer, a knight on a quest. She didn't know where she was going or why, only that it must be important, knights didn't go on boring adventures after all. Why she needed to take everything was also a mystery to her, she thought knights returned home after their mission. Emma was new to being a knight so decided that it was probably just something she didn't know yet. So when Emma left the Swan Household it was with smiles and giggles, a nervous anticipation. She hugged her mama and papa, promising to tell them all the stories when she returned home.
Emma learned then, at the tender age of three that whilst life is always an adventure, it is never quite as exciting as it looks in the fairy tales.
There were new lands, if you counted a house that was bursting to the seams of unwanted and uncared for children. New people too, heroes, villains, they were not, the shadows in the background. There but never noticed. They pulled her hair and stole her dolls. Rainbow dash went missing on the first day. Her Barbie beheaded on the second. Her stuffed monkey torn the third. She kept smiling. She kept smiling because this was some kind of test, every story had one.
At least the next time they discarded her they didn't try to make it an adventure- still relocation was a pile of Bullshit. Not even a group home wanted her. They said that the relocation was good, that she was going to live with a family. Emma knew little about family but she knew most fathers didn't leer at their own children. That most mothers hugged their children instead of slapped them. She smiled because a smile can hold a multitude of sins. A thousand secrets.
The relocations continued. Some offered false smiles, those were the worst. She knew she wasn't wanted. Knew they didn't care about her, she was a meal ticket. An object to take the anger of the world out of. Some didn't hide their disgust. Some didn't notice her at all. The social workers tried to make it sound better. Like that a family was waiting for her. Lies.
Emma didn't know what love was, how she could have known when all she was ever shown was hate, maybe that's why she fell for Lily. Lily was no angel, but for the first time Emma felt like she was on an adventure. She didn't go to Neverland in her sleep but for the first time she was discovering herself. The world outside of crumbling walls, of broken structures. A dream is delicate, an intangible desire, something that seems possible, the light at the end of a tunnel. What happens when the tunnel collapses? When the dream you dared to dream is gone. You are left alone. Again. Scared and frightened with nothing but your own strength to pull you through. Emma was twelve years old. All she had been doing was fighting, a white knight upon a fiery steed. She didn't want to fight anymore.
So for a year or two she didn't. She took every lash, every leer, and every snide comment and made a mark on her wall, too many to count. For every person who thought she was a nobody, everyone who looked down on her, everyone who thought she had failed. She was still fighting, even when she didn't realise it.
She couldn't hack it though, life in the system. It had taught her all it could, that some people are never good enough, that people will judge you regardless of your personality. To some people you are nothing more than a cheque. The system taught her that life was unfair. That nothing in this world is given, that you have to carve your own way. So she ran and took her own chances. She lived on the streets, keeping away from those that tried to lure her in.
She stole, because she had to. She stole a car, a yellow bug, now her most prized possession, in Portland. That's where she fell in love for the second time. Neal. Neal was a free spirit. He didn't care what people thought, or what was around the corner. He saw every hour as an adventure to be had. Perhaps that's why things went so badly wrong. Why they were bound to go wrong at some point. Living the life of criminals, common thieves caught up with them, with Emma more specifically. Neal had ran, and left Emma with the fall.
She had been shocked at first, standing there in the parking lot, hearing the sirens blast through the night. She felt three years old again. Lost and confused. Alone. There is nothing more humiliating than have someone stare at you, take every possession, and slam a door on you. A room, with one small window letting in a shard of light. A lumpy bed. Your home. The worst thing was that this was luxury compared to a shop front, or dark tunnel on a winter's night.
Emma was pregnant. She wanted to scream. To cry. To be angry at Neal. At the situation. She wanted to be anywhere but jail. She had to give it up, give the child its best chance; she hoped that her child would have the life she never had. An adventure.
She was surrounded by prison guards. If she wasn't in so much pain she would laugh at the absurdity of it. If they thought she was going to run away half way giving birth then they were more stupid than she first thought.
She pushed and screamed and gritted her teeth. Still trying to be strong. When she heard the doctor say "It's a boy, Emma" she breathed a sigh of relief, but shook her face. She couldn't look at her child knowing she had to give it away. The doctor offered a sad smile. You can change your mind Emma. No she couldn't. Her choices were never that easy.
A small cry, a gurgle. She couldn't resist. She looked at the innocent babe, so small, a little lease of life. No idea of the world. That's when Emma knew she had to keep her baby boy. This world may be broken, and a little scary, but this was the first time she had a chance to change it, if not for her then for a child so innocent and precious.
Almost all her money went on baby clothes and rent. Emma bought one thing for herself. A red leather jacket from a thrift store. It was, to many perhaps a bit tacky, to her though it was a statement. Something that made her different. It was almost like a coat of armour. A protection from the world around her.
Three years had passed since that day. She was so glad she changed her mind. Henry gave her a strength she didn't know she had. His smiles, the bright eyes, so full of wonder, the way he pointed at things. The puppy dog look and mama than accompanied it when he wanted something. He never questioned why mama was always busy, why he visited auntie ruby a lot after school had finished. He never asked why the toys didn't always come in boxes, or why the pages of the books were a little brown. In fact he rarely asked for much, maybe a bear claw here and there, which broke Emma a little.
That's why she had made this move, to a quieter idyllic town, to give Henry the best chance of a proper childhood, where dreams felt like they could come true.
Storybrooke, seriously? Well she was looking for a fairy-tale. She slammed the door, in reflection a little too hard.
"Still got a temper then?" she heard someone behind her chuckle.
"Hilarious David", Emma hugged the closest thing to a father and brother she'd ever had.
"The sarcasm as well, I am honoured" He smirked, patting her back and offering a kiss to her forehead.
"Well Storybrooke, come on that's not a real name. Who came up with that? It's good to see you again though"
"It is a strange name I grant you but its home."
"Home we'll see" she answered sceptically.
David, her old partner was always optimistic, perhaps because he hadn't had lead the life she'd lead. He gave her space when she needed it and was always there when she needed a hug. He was loyal and a true gentleman. Prince Charming. Emma chuckled to herself. Fairy-tale really do come true. It all depends on you.
/
Even at three Regina was ambitious; or rather her mother was ambitious on her behalf. Most three year olds played princes and princesses, coloured in, were beginning to learn the basics, Tackling the confusing task of laces (Regina had ticked that box) she was learning the time, She could name kings and queens, real ones not the fake ones in stories. She had been confused because Amwerica didn't have a queen, only a pwesdient. Her mother scolded her, its president dear. Regina sulked, her mama, mother was always telling her off and making her work. She didn't let her play with her dolls, or colour in- unless it was animals. She had to learn to write. She wasn't even at school yet. She didn't like her mama. She was no fun. Papa was a bit more fun. He took her to the stables, to see the horses. Regina wanted a horse one day.
Regina was ill, or according to mama being lazy, thankfully mama had a meeting so was going to be at work. Regina was tucked up in a blanky snuggled into her papa lap. She wanted to cry. She had made mama angry again. She really did feel icky though. Her papa turned the TV on and through her tears Regina heard a familiar tune d-d-d-d alright d-d-d-d-dora she screeched. Perfectly in time with the song. She loved Dora she was always going on exciting adventures and helping people. Dora did things wrong sometimes but people helped her. No one helped Regina when she was stuck.
On her fourth birthday her papa got her a pair of red boots. She loved them. They were more than wellies, they were her armour. Where she could be herself, but more than herself. She was Regina the explorer. She was Regina who could have an adventure.
She had to wait until she was fourteen to get a horse. Rocinante was her first taste of freedom, of adventure. There was something about riding that made anything seem possible. It made her feel like she could find a kingdom and grow up to be a queen. The stables are also where she met her first, and only love. Daniel. Daniel was sweet and a true gentleman. There were tentative stolen glances, easy flowing conversations, jokes shared. He started talking about a future, the American Dream- 2 children, a white picket fence, and trips to the beach on a national holiday. Regina was never a dreamer. The future was too big and scary. She was barely eighteen. She wasn't ready to think about any of that. She wanted to live. It crushed him. He thought they were forever. Regina felt terrible. She might as well have torn his heart from his chest. They were civil from then on, but things could never be the same. When Regina left for College at the end of the summer it was with a wave goodbye and well wishes for a future. Daniel was a small town boy; she was more of a city gal. The life in a small town was too restricting. She never heard from him, until a semester into a college she received a call from Daniel's best friend Robin, saying he had been involved in an accident and he hadn't survived. Regina's world began to crumble then, not because she was responsible for Daniel's death but because it proved that the future is not guaranteed. Those who plan for it don't always get it. The future is the light across the bay. It taunts you. Leading you in, but somehow always too far.
Her relationship with her mother never improved. Regina flashed political smiles and exchanged pleasantries. She got her Law and Political Science Degree from NYU and enjoyed the life in Brooklyn. Her mother was paranoid; convinced she was going to get herself killed. She had explained numerous times that yes Brooklyn had its social issues (like every city in the world) and you had to have a bit of guts about you but it was diverse and welcoming with people from all over the world. Regina loved life in the Big Apple. She could visit the theatre, attend concerts, and eat in five star restaurants whilst equally being able to indulge in a hot dog off a street vendor. Nothing was out of place, it somehow fitted. NYC truly was the greatest city in the world.
NYC was the first place that first place that felt like home, maybe because it was totally different to the life she had lived up until College. Her heart would always belong to NYC for showing her the world in a city, for proving to her that it's okay to be different. That the world doesn't stop at 5pm. It keeps on turning and you can deny it or just accept it and live life for every minute.
Life has over plans. Regina, at the age 32, was now a successful lawyer, specialising in business law, received a phone call, every child never wants to get. Her father was dying. Regina collapsed. Her partner, and friend, Mal entered the room and held her, drying her tears. "Go home little one, he needs you, you need him. "
Regina looked at her, planning on glaring at her. She was not little. When she looked into her friends eyes, she saw sadness, a love lost until it was too late. A what if? She hugged her and offered a light kiss on Mal's cheek. A pale imitation of what could have been. An adventure to be lived in another time.
Standing at the edge of the hospital room, she was no longer a strong, independent woman. She was just a broken little girl.
The nurse approached her and said "He's hanging on for you". He always waited for her. Time had caught up with him. Regina begged the tears to wait and went to sit on the edge of his bed. Pushing off the Louis Viton's she laid down beside him, hugging him. Wishing the night would never end. Morning breaks and the light of day bring a new challenge. She looked at her father, her papa, she whispered into his ear "you can let go now daddy, I think this little girl is ready to do this on her own". His eyes drifted and Regina reached to close the lids, kissing the top of his head. She smoothed down her clothes and offered one last glance before leaving the hospital room.
The funeral came too soon, people offering condolences, people who didn't know him. People who never cared when he lived now suddenly he died and everyone had a story to tell. She tried not to get angry. This day was for her papa. She stood in black, laughing at how her papa, always said it was her colour, staring at a whole in the ground. This couldn't be the end. She stood there. Alone in a world that was too big.
"Little one, it's time to leave"
"Mal, what are you doing here"
"Making sure you are alright. "
"Mal I …. I….I can't be who you want"
"Regina, I want to be your friend, that's all. The scary dragon bitch and the Evil Queen, too hot damn"
Regina laughed. Maybe she wasn't alone. She had a friend. She'd never had a friend before.
/
It had been three years since her father had died. For the few months she'd counted the days without random outbursts of tears. She'd bought a house, not far from where she used to live and sold remnants of her life in New York. Mal had stayed for a couple of weeks before returning to the office, and the city. Storybrooke was not a place for someone like Mal, who was constantly energetic. The two remained friends, and supported each other through the good and the bad.
Regina was no longer a lawyer, the biggest crime here was someone skipping a red light, instead she had become Mayor and found it especially fulfilling. It finally felt like she was giving back instead of taking.
As she made her way home she heard the familiar voice of Uncharming and the sheriff David Nolan, along with a newcomer, who was undeniably beautiful.
"David, how's your family?
David suppressed a sigh, only Regina could make that sound threatening.
"Very well thank you, Regina. How are you?"
"Fine thanks you, and who is this?"
"This has a name, lady, Emma Swan"
Now David couldn't help but laugh. This would make for an interesting conversation.
"I was not speaking to you Miss Swan, when I want to engage in conversation or an opinion I will ask for it"
"Yes Ma'am" Emma mock saluted. God this woman was infuriating. So why did her tummy feel all fluttery
"I believe my friend, anddeputysheriff has introduced herself, so I'll be going, don't want to keep Mary Margaret waiting"
"I don't remember agreeing to hire a new deputy. " He was long gone of course he was.
Regina stormed off. She would have words with Nolan alone. "Bye Miss Swan"
"Ugh it's Emma. Miss Swan makes me feel old. And like I'm in trouble"
So much for a fairy tale Emma thought, or maybe she'd just met the Evil Queen.
/
Her house, well apartment, was currently a minefield of unopened boxes. Where she acquired so much crap from she didn't know. Emma managed to find the toaster, a pan so she could make Henry's pancakes and clothes that weren't too crumpled.
She burned her breakfast; so far things were going great. And it was only 8:15. Henry laughed. She stuck her tongue out at her son. He looked down at his shoes, trying to hide his giggles. He failed but he still made her smile.
Emma rushed him to Mary Margaret's, she hated leaving him but she had to work, Kissing him goodbye he waved asked where auntie ruby was before discovering Neal (Mary and David's toddler) and realised he had a play date.
At exactly 9 Emma ran into the town's sheriff station, bear claw in mouth, extra-large coffee in hand, almost colliding into the mayor. "Hi Madam Mayor" she offered meekly.
Madam Mayor. God she wasn't 80. "Miss Swan, cutting it fine aren't you? "
"Work starts at 9. I have a minute to sit down at my desk, which you are blocking my way"
"Anyone tell you not to talk back"
She probably shouldn't wind up the mayor up like this but really it was too easy. So she sat down at her desk and didn't answer the mayor's question.
"You think you're a smart arse but don't forget who runs this town. Bye Em-ma"
She was screwed. Banging her head on her desk. Damn it.
"So the Mayor?"
"She's a bitch"
"No she's just misunderstood,"
"David don't. Don't make this a mystery to be uncovered. Don't make her human. Stop seeing the good in everything. Not all of us can fall in love and live the American Dream. "
"I'm not doing anything. I'd have more luck teaching a monkey to fly then get you to do something you didn't want to do. I'm just saying. Don't judge a book when you don't know the story"
"Yes dad"
He swatted her arm and tore some of the bear claw.
"Hey that's mine"
"Sharing is caring"
Ugh.
/
That bloody blonde had waltzed in and messed everything up. Regina had a routine. It had been the same for the past three years. It meant she didn't have to think just do. Now her heart was beating again, it was almost like a spell had been lifted. She didn't want a white knight. She was happy living a lie. It was easier than facing the truth.
So she decided that she was going to stay out of her way.
Easier said than done.
They seemed to always see each other, whether it was awkwardly saying Hi in Granny's. Or at the same checkout in the local grocery store. Hell they even met at the traffic lights once.
Emma was childlike in her actions, always full of life, full of wonder, eager to learn. Eager to please, yet there was something else. A wall, a barrier that only comes when you have lived through a tragedy.
/
Emma couldn't avoid the mayor. As much as she wanted to. She was there, at the diner, the grocery store, strutting down Main Street.
Emma couldn't help noticing her, the way she seemed so confident, yet when no one else was looking the smile faltered. The mask slipped, the Queen was gone. The broken girl, dreaming of a prince, a saviour, in her place.
Damn it. David was right. She cared, and that was not good.
/
Henry was sick. He was coughing and spluttering. Rationally Emma knew it was just a fever, some Tylenol and a few days and he would be his normal bouncy self. Still it was unnerving; she couldn't help feeling like a failure. She put toons on, and tucked her son up, and got up to get some crackers. When she returned he was fast asleep. He looked so innocent, so small. Even though he was ill, Emma wished she could freeze the picture. Save it from the funny tricks of time.
As it always does the fever have worse before it got better. Henry was sweating and crying. Clutching onto his blanky, wanting mama magic hug. He didn't want to eat. He just wanted bad feeling to go away. He started screaming. Emma wanted to tear her hair out. She hated seeing him like that. She wanted to take the pain away.
Slowly he got better and the fever weakened. The frown disappeared. Replaced by a smile. The requests to leave became quests for ice cream.
Wrapping him up, perhaps a bit too much for the weather, Emma took his hand ready for a trip to Any given sundae. Ice cream could fix the world; at least it could when you were three years old.
/
She hadn't seen Emma for about a week, she didn't know why it bothered her but it did. Part of her justified it. Part of her refused to question her feelings.
She couldn't ask how she was. That would mean questions. She'd find out eventually.
Think of the devil. Emma was walking down Main Street with, a young boy, and her son? Did Emma have a husband, boyfriend? Emma had a son. Surely she should know that. Why would she know that? It's not like they were friends.
/
Regina, Emma realised that she'd missed her. She didn't want to know why she thought that.
"Regina"
No mayor mills. Did that mean anything? God Regina you are not twelve trying to decipher the meaning of life.
"Emma"
This was awkward. Why was this awkward
"Gina"
She'd never been one for nicknames but she couldn't deny the bundle of cuteness.
Oh yes her son, should probably introduce him. Why did Emma feel like she wanted Regina to like Henry and vice versa?
"Regina this is my son"
"Henry" the boy squealed, interrupting his mother.
Henry of all the names in the world. Of course he would be called Henry. Irony was a bitch.
"Nice to meet you Henry"
"You too. I been ill but mama looked after me and I better now. Ice cweam will make me even more better though. You're sad. Why you sad? Come and get ice cream with me and mama, then you won't be sad any more either. "
Regina didn't know what to say. Henry was so effervescent, bubbly, charming, a little awkward just like his mom but also had that innocent yet painful intuition only a child has.
Emma didn't quite know what to say. Emma had gone white, as soon as Henry has said his name. There was a story, a painful one, one that Emma guessed Regina had never told before, yet her son being her son had bundled along. Babbling about this and that.
"Henry Gina's a busy lady she might not be able to get ice cream today. "
Oh henry stated, a little crestfallen.
"Of course I can, but only a small one. I've got to have room for all my tea"
Henry took that as all the invitation he needed. He reached up to hold Gina's hand.
Once again Regina took a minute to respond before holding onto the small hand.
For the first time in a long time she felt safe.
Well her son was certainly a charmer.
/
David had a smug smile on his face the next morning. Damn her son. She needed to teach him how to keep a secret.
"It was ice cream David, I've got that with you before and we sure as hell haven't dated"
"What I didn't say anything?" all innocent. He may be charming but he can't lie
"You didn't have to"
To his credit he didn't say anything. Not for a few days.
Mary Margaret however well you'd have thought she'd have won the lottery. She was gushing and honestly Emma stopped listening. Just smiled and embraced the (several) hugs.
Regina greeted her with a glare the following morning. Good Lord Mary Margaret was a blabbermouth. I'm sorry. Henry.
Regina nodded. "It was ice cream, no need to apologise. It didn't mean anything"
Those four words hurt more of them than they meant.
/
Distance didn't work for the two of them and it was with a stumble of apologies and frankly trying to voice feelings that neither was ready to admit yet when a truce was made.
After that day things shifted. Conversations were less awkward, the teasing nicknames forgotten. Sarcastic smiles replaced by genuine ones. Gazes held for longer than necessary. There were apple turnovers and lasagnes bought round because Regina made too much.
Disney movie nights because Henry wanted them. No Regina did not cry when Mufasa died. Emma needed to invest in a duster.
Henry wasn't stupid. Kids were the worst of all. Especially when they have a plan. That's how Emma had ended up stuck outside her own apartment with Henry laughing on the other side. Emma hadn't left the door on the latch.
Regina wanted to be angry but she couldn't. Deciding to play Henry at his own game. They went down the stairs. They were half way down when they heard the cries of mama come back.
Henry was firmly told there were no cartoons or films tonight and reluctantly went off to bed.
Regina couldn't help but smile at the laugh on his face.
Going over to her bag she pulled out a flask.
"Always pegged you for more of a queen than a pirate" Emma hummed
"I am a Queen, but there are a lot of things you don't know about me. Now shut up scoundrel and have a glass of the best apple cider you ever tasted"
"Got anything stronger"
As it turns out the cider was plenty strong enough.
/
They shared their kiss on a day when every came too much. When nothing made sense. When thoughts swirled through their head and they wanted the world to stop spinning, if only so they could take a breath,
No one knew who initiated all they knew was amidst the confusion of life, the one thing that shouldn't make sense did.
The kiss was warm, inviting, and safe. A faint hint of apple and cinnamon. Sweet innocence, passion. They pulled away reluctantly, eyes locked. No words spoken. None needed.
There was no whoosh of magic. No bright light. Just a sigh of relief. Home is not a place. It's not a person. It's a feeling. One impossible to fake.
/
A year later.
Time changes everything. A year had passed yet it felt like only yesterday. Emma had never had a home, she didn't know what one felt like but she was sure this was as close to she was ever going to get.
Somewhere around six months ago, Regina and her and fallen out. Screaming and shouting. Making a lot of noise to cover up something they didn't want to admit. Their hearts were too broken. Too scared. They couldn't open them up to the possibility of it happening again.
Their hearts had made the decision for them. Sometimes it's worth the risk.
Now Henry was almost four. A week as he kept reminding everyone. What do you get a four year old that will stand the test of time?
Regina had no clue, not until she found a piece of paper. Screwed up at the bottom of a bag.
In her father's scrawl was one word. Boots.
Boots. Emma smiled, not only because Henry loved them and insisted on wearing them everywhere but because to some they were a pair of wellington boots. To Regina they were a memory. A memory of a time filled of happiness, of family.
She touched the small of her girlfriends back, offered a smile and a wink. Sometimes a story doesn't end when you think it does. Sometimes armour isn't what you think. Sometimes a pair of shoes can change your life.
This is the longest fic I've written (and completed- so MC aside) and only my second SQ fic. Please review- what you liked and didn't.
My inbox on tumblr (captain-saviours-heart) is open for prompts :D