Then The Night Would Give You Up

by Lothiriel84

He poured himself another glass of apple juice instead, swirling the liquid as one would do with fine whisky; the motion still had a soothing effect on him, though he rarely indulged in that sort of make-believe for obvious reasons. - A sequel to If I Could Stay.

This wasn't a date, he told himself as he watched the man he spent most of his waking life with potter around the kitchen; this was two friends having a quiet night in, and he should probably stop staring at the other man's lips ever so often.

Except that said man was humming snatches of songs as he stirred the sauce, and Douglas wanted really badly to kiss him now. He poured himself another glass of apple juice instead, swirling the liquid as one would do with fine whisky; the motion still had a soothing effect on him, though he rarely indulged in that sort of make-believe for obvious reasons. Replacing one temptation with another had always been a poor decision, even more so when it came to substituting alcohol-induced oblivion for the yet never tasted softness of his Captain's mouth.

After three failed marriages and the countless liaisons he'd had in between, he should definitely know better than any of it; not to mention that it wasn't as if Martin was particularly impressed with his public persona anymore, even though he had to admit it was rather nicer this way. That was what being friends was like, he firmly told himself – only to lose the thread of his internal monologue as a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"None of that," Martin admonished him calmly, his tone kind and resolute at the same time. Next thing he knew Douglas was standing right in his Captain's personal space, curious eyes looking up at him with an odd mixture of hope and encouragement.

This might not be a date, but Martin's lips were moving softly against his own and for a moment there he struggled to hide just how much that was affecting him; then he gave up any pretence of detachment, vulnerability emanating through him in waves as he embraced the terrifying intensity of his feelings.

The younger man seemed to sense as much, for his arms tightened around Douglas's back, gentle fingers combing through his hair. That was when Douglas decided that if he could trust Martin with his life on a daily basis, maybe he could trust him with his heart too.