Alice took a deep breath. The building loomed before her, a torture chamber full of freaks and slavery. A middle school. Hetalia High, to be precise. Alice had transferred here, to the bloody school after the bullying at her old school had gotten too bad. She just prayed that the three wankers from her old school hadn't transferred here! That would suck. 'I really don't know why they hated me', she thought to herself. She wasn't ugly, maybe different, but certainly not ugly. She had long blonde hair, forest green eyes and large eyebrows. She contemplated this as she walked into the building. Then she heard it.

The too-familiar laughter of her old tormentors. "Kesesesese! Onononon! Fusosososo!" She desperately tried to hide, but to no avail. "No. Way. No freakin way! It's Caterpillar! Whaddaya doing here, eyebrow freak?" "Back off, Gilbert." "Or what? Oi, Francis, Toni, come check it out!" Alice groaned. The other two idiots came over as well. "This is a surprise, mon cher." Then, with practiced ease, they slammed her against the wall. Two holding her arms, one ready to dish out her punishment for existing. She lifted her head defiantly, showing she was not afraid. This time it was Toni. Oh well. It could be worse. Like Francis! She glared at Toni, who just chuckled. "Long time no see, mi amiga!" "Real nice seeing you too, wanker!" I growled. But I relaxed a bit. Toni and I had come to an agreement that the other two knew nothing about. He wouldn't hit me hard, since I helped him get set up with his girlfriend, Lovina Vargas. Who was one of my friends. He winked at me. I couldn't help but smirk. But when Toni came at me, I lifted myself bodily off the ground, and slammed both my feet into his chest. The other two immediately slammed me into the ground and helped their fallen comrade.

I mentally prepared myself for the beating. Francis and Gilbert glared at me, but I was just smiling like an idiot. I had gotten the best of the Bad Touch Trio! I felt so ridiculously happy! Then the happiness vanished as the other two beared down on me. Right when Gilbert was about to sucker punch me, I heard a voice shout. "What are you doing?" It yelled. A kid shot down the hall, shoving the BTT out of the way. He had sky blue eyes, dirty blonde hair with a weird cowlick, and glasses. He was American, I could tell by the obnoxious accent. He was obviously a popular kid, because the BTT backed off. He helped me to my feet. "Beat it." he growled to the idiot gang. I hated, hated, being saved by a boy. "Well, thanks, git, but I have to get going." The kid grabbed my hand. "Wait! Come on, I just saved your ass! At least tell me your name!" he whined. I rolled my eyes. "Alice. Alice Kirkland." "Awesome! I'm Alfred F. Jones! The Hero!" I sighed. Then pulled my hand out of his grasp. "If you'll excuse me. I have got to go to my first class" Which was pretty uneventful, in fact. I thought second would be the same.

I was wrong. I took a seat in the back, like I usually did. A few seconds later, the whole class erupted. "Ooh! Alfie! Sit here! Sit here!" "Please sit here! It's my turn!" And other ridiculous squeals like that. I looked up, and sure enough. Alfred-bloody-Jones, walking into the classroom smiling. He frowned and looked around. Then he caught me eye, and grinned. He ignored all the other girls and sat by…me? "What the bloody hell are you doing?" I yelled at him. He plopped his books down onto the desk next to me. "Sitting next to you," he replied. "Why?" "Because I want to be your friend! Geez, is it not obvious?"I was thrown by his last sentence. "I never asked you to be my friend!" I hissed. "I asked to be yours." he said calmly. "Doesn't it have to be mutual?" I growled. I didn't want some obnoxious American as a friend! He turned to me finally, a hurt look in his eyes. "Why don't you want to be friends with me?" I frowned at that. "Just…I don't need some American who just wants popularity talking to me non-stop for a week then ignoring me for the rest of my life!" He frowned. "I wouldn't do that! Please! Just gimme a chance!"

He reached across the tables and took my hand, making all the other girls gasp in jealousy. "Hey…maybe we could grab a coffee after school or something? On me, making it up to you?" he asked, albeit a bit nervously. I sighed in defeat. "You won't give up, will you?" "Nope!" he grinned. I noticed he was still holding my hand, and pulled it away. "You're going to stalk me if I say no, correct?" "Yeah! So…is that a yes?" I shook my head, but couldn't help but smile softly at his childishness. "Fine." But he wasn't listening. He was staring at me, in what looked like awe. "Damn! You're really pretty when you smile! Do it again!" "What's the matter with you, you git!" He had reached out to touch my face. I batted his hand away. Alfred grinned in triumph. I ignored him for the rest of class. As we walked out the door, he grinned at me. "I'll meet you outside the doors, ok?" I nodded once. He walked in the opposite direction of me, which I didn't complain about.

As I walked towards my last class, I was blocked by a wall of girls. "Excuse me," I said, trying to push past them. They shoved me back. "How dare you steal our Alfie! He's ours, and don't even think about getting coffee with him!" I rolled my eyes. "Too bad. I've already condemned myself. But I never asked for your Alfie. You can keep him!" I walked towards class, ignoring the shocked faces I left in my wake.

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for Alfred. Finally, he shot out the door, looking panicked. "Sorry! So sorry! I had-" "It's fine. Let's just get this over with." I muttered. He smiled brightly. He took my hand and we walked. His thumb traced circles on the top of my hand. I ignored this, and just kept walking. We reached the Starbucks right as it started to rain. We ordered and sat down at the window. Alfred chugged his drink in three seconds flat, then he would not shut up! He talked about his family, his twin brother, his cat Hero, everything. When he paused for a second, I reminded him something. "Hey you bloody idiot! Don't forget to breath!" he responded with a pickup line. "Aww, you do care~!" I facepalmed. "Git." Alfred grinned.

I was a bit surprised when Alfred asked about me. I had pretty much zoned out. "What? Oh. Well…I have a huge family, my brothers Alistair, Dylan, and Conor, my sister Molly, and my younger brother Peter. We're English, obviously. We have a cat named Crumpet. I used to go to another school, but the wankers that call themselves the Bad Touch Trio decided to make my life miserable." I cut myself off suddenly. "But there's no need for you to know that." I tossed some cash on the table. "Here's money for the coffee." I walked out, leaving Alfred with a hurt expression.

I walked home in the rain, not really caring about the water. I lived in England. Rain doesn't exactly bother me. I knocked on the door, waiting for one of my siblings to answer. Alistair answered it. "Password?" he asked, trying to make me mad. "Peter is an idiot." I answered, without missing a beat. He opened the door wide, ushering me inside. "You'll catch your death if you get wet like that!" he scolded gently. "And then Molly and Peter will get all your stuff before I can claim anything!" "Smooth." "Thank you." Me and Alistair had the closest relationship of all of our siblings. I guess it was because we both were united against all of the others. Alistair was the oldest, and I was next to him in maturity, so we grew a bit closer. And we were a deadly team when it came to pranking.

In a rare moment of peace, all the Kirkland children were spread out over the living room, watching a movie. The doorbell rang. I sat up. "I'll get it." I had a sneaking suspicion I knew who it was. I was right.

"Why'd you ditch me like that?" he whined, as soon as I opened the door. "Because you're annoying!" I yelled. "Just…leave me alone, ok?" he frowned. "No." He was about to say more, when I felt presences behind me. I looked to see my brothers and sister, standing behind me. They were glaring at Alfred. I sighed. "This is Alistair, Dylan, Conor, Molly, and Peter." I pointed at each of my family members in turn. Alistair glared. "You so much as touch her, you yank, you'll have us at your throat. Hear me?" Alfred's eyes widened. He stepped back. I felt a stab of pity for him. My eyes softened. I shoved my family inside, where they scattered to windows.

"Look, Alfred…sorry about that. They're like rabid dogs." "We heard that! And you're right!" Alfred relaxed and laughed. "Ok, I get it. But…could we hang? Please?" he was making that puppy dog face again. "Alright." I sighed, already regretting that decision. "Yes!" he fist pumped, then hesitated. He darted forward and kissed my cheek before disappearing into the darkness.

I stood there for a solid minute and a half. Alistair dragged me inside, where I found all of my family waiting excitedly. "Good god, you all are like two year olds." "What did he say?" Molly asked. "Some annoying kid from school trying to add me to his fan club." "Oh! Speaking of school, did it suck, really suck, or as bad as mom's cooking?" "It made mom's cooking look gourmet." My family winced. That was a serious insult to something. "Guess what? The Bad Touch Trio. Remember them? The school that they transferred too..." "Oh god." Conor whispered. "I kicked Toni's ass though." "Attagirl!" Dylan patted me on the back. "But how come you're not broken and bleeding? Gilbert and Francis would have murdered you!" "That's where Alfred comes in. He stops them, then follows me around like a dog, trying to hold my hand and asking me out for coffee." I made a gagging sound, which was copied by my siblings. I acted just like Alistair sometimes which proved it, there was no room for girliness/weakness in the Kirkland family. Even Molly could whip a kid twice her size if she felt like it. And she had a boyfriend.

At school the next day I tried to avoid Alfred, but he was everywhere! I swear, the kid could teleport! He sat next to me in almost every class, and kept trying to pass me notes. I know for a fact that any other girl would have a seizure and die, but I was going to die of a different reason! "I should set my siblings on you again." I grumbled as Alfred tried to hold my hand for the thousandth time. "Or tell Crumpet you insulted his name. That'll keep you away from me!" "Hey! I just wanna-" "I don't care! Seriously! Just…arg!" I stomped off, bashing into someone. Ohgod. It was Gilbert. He leered at me. "Hello! Can I help you?" I slugged him, right in the jaw, then disappeared into the crowd. I hurried out the door, and into the woods. I walked along the rain washed path, into the deep forest. I pushed back the branches of a tall bushy wall, and slipped through.

As expected, a few of my siblings were lounging in our spot. We had found an old treehouse, swings, and a cave to hide our stuff in. We used it when we wanted to skip class or whatever. Alistair was there with Conor. It was easy for us to skip class last period Friday, even teachers did it sometimes. So when Dylan and Molly trickled in with Peter not far behind, no one was very surprised. We all complained about our various reasons for skipping. "Alfred's so annoying! Bloody git…I should have let Alistair rip his throat out when I had the chance." "No one ever ruled out that option!" Conor blurted. I smiled. Even though they annoy the hell out of me, they're awesome sometimes.

~~Alfred's POV~~

I stamped my foot in frustration. Couldn't Alice see that I liked her? She was snarky, pretty and didn't fawn over me like all the other girls did. She was perfect! And she hated me! "Just my luck." I muttered. I decided to call her. I punched in her number, and waited anxiously for her to pick up.

~~Alice's POV~~

My phone rang as we were walking. I picked up. "Hello?"

~~Alfie again! :D~~

"Hello?" "Alice?" There was silence. "What do want?" "You." he inwardly winced at that, it sounded so cheesy. "What?" "Um…you heard me?" "No I didn't. Alistair is wrestling me for the phone. Now. What did you say?" "Nothing…" "Goodbye Alfred." she hung up. I slammed my fist down on the table. Matthew came into my room. "Alfie! Calm down! The whole house is shaking!" "Sorry." I muttered to him. His irritable gaze softened, and he placed his hand on my shoulder. "What's up?" he asked. "Nothing," I answered. "Alfred, I'm your twin. I can tell when you're upset. Although that's not needed when you're killing the house."

I poured it all out to Matthew, he listened, shocked. He blinked slowly. 'I knew it. He thinks I'm being an idiot.' Then he spoke. "Are you sure Alice isn't playing hard to get?" "No, she's that way to everyone." "Ok then…who knows Alice best? You could ask them about her." "Ummmm, I'm not sure that'll work bro. Alice is new. And the only people she knows are me and the BTT." "Oh." Was his brother…blushing? "I need to go." Matthew said abruptly.

~~Who do you think?~~

The Kirklands arrived home after a long walk filled with arguments and ways to kill various people. "I don't know…maybe some of my cooking would do the trick." "Yeah, invite him home and slip a hint to mom. And voila! Shit hits the fan." the brothers (and sister) laughed. "I'd like to see that!" Molly exclaimed. I was still laughing so hard I couldn't speak. I wiped a tear from my eye and bent back up. Alistair was walking besides me. I shoved him. "Maybe I could slip an espresso in your coffee and set you on him." He grinned. "Except for the coffee hangover, that would rock." It was a well-known fact that Alistair had hangover-like effects when he drank coffee. But before that...It's a long story.

When the Kirkland children arrived at their house, the rare moment of peace was destroyed when a bucket of tea fell on Dylan's head. He turned slowly, and glared at his brothers and sisters. "Whoever did this…is so dead." Alice and Alistair exchanged a discreet high-five behind their backs. Which was not lost on Dylan. He chased them around the house until Alice hid in a bathroom and locked the door. She had lost Alistair earlier, in their maze of a house. So she was not expecting Alistair to peek out from behind the shower curtain. "Is he gone?" "Bloody hell! Don't do that Alistair!" He laughed, then his expression became serious. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" "Because we're not having a conversation right now, idiot." He ignored this, as expected. "That Alfred kid? Is he bothering you that much?" "Sometimes. He's certainly not a pleasant sight." she replied. "Ok. Just checking." Then Dylan banged on the door. "Come on out! I know you're in there, you bloody wankers!" Me and Alistair shared a grin, then moved to the bucket besides the sink.

Alice had developed a routine at school. She would dodge the trio, hope (and fail) to dodge Alfred, and try to live through the day. She had noticed that Alfred seemed a bit subdued lately, but ignored it. As she walked out the door, having escaped Alfred, a hand lightly tapped her shoulder. "God Alfred, for the last time-" turning, I saw it was…Francis? My gaze whipped around, expecting the others, but the Frenchman was alone. He offered a gentle smile. "Ma chérie, I needed to talk to you." I raised an eyebrow. "I am désolé about the way my friends have treated you in the past." My mouth dropped open, I couldn't help it. He chuckled slightly at my expression. "A-are you bloody kidding me?" "Non, I am not." He moved closer. "You are very beautiful, Alice." He took my hand and kissed it. I flushed. He smiled at me. My blush grew bigger.

Francis took my hand and led me out of the building. I let him, a little dazed. Everything was happening so fast! Francis was…She didn't even know. He walked me home, and as I turned to open the gate, he placed his hand over mine lightly. I turned, frowning. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I didn't resist, surprising myself. "Francis what are you-" my sentence was cut off as Francis brushed my lips lightly with his. Her eyes widened. And then she pulled Francis' lips onto hers.

~~Alfred's POV (ohgod we all know where this is going)~~

Alfred was walking down the street, head hung, feeling defeated. He wasn't even paying attention, until he realized this was Alice's street. He automaticly looked across to see if she was there…and immediately wished he hadn't. He watched as Alice turned to Francis, who had been walking with her. He watched as he gently kissed her. And he watched as she kissed him back. The world spun before his eyes. "No!" he whispered, before falling down in despair.

"Al! Alfie! Wake up man, please!" A voice begged. I didn't want to, I knew there was something not right. Something that caused me pain…I tried to push the feeling away, but it kept nagging at my thoughts. I focused on the voice, and opened my eyes. Matthew was cradling my head, tears running down his face. "Mattie?" I asked, my voice raspy. My brother's shoulders slumped with relief. "Thank god." he said. "What happened?" I managed to croak out. "I was walking home and found you, on your knees on a sidewalk. You were muttering something. It sounded a lot like: "No. Nonononono. Oh god please no." I heard a lot of 'no'. Then, you faceplanted. I grabbed you and ran home."

Then it all hit me. My breathing stopped for a moment, before coming in quick gasps. Mat noticed this. "Alfred?! What is it?" I ignored my brother. Tears streamed down my face. "Bro…Alice…s-she-" I stopped, my body wracked with heaving sobs. Matthew pulled me into a hug. "Shh, Alfred, it's Ok. What happened?" I cried into Mat's shoulder. "Alice, she was walking home with F-francis, and he, he…" I managed to choke out. "Oh god. Oh god no." Matthew said. "She didn't-" "Yes!"

~~(oblivious)Alice's POV~~

When Francis' lips broke apart from mine, I was breathless. He smiled at me, and I weakly smiled back. I noticed that during our…moment…my hands had tangled in his hair. I pulled them out gently. His eyes trapped mine, and his hands trailed up my back to my head. I was frozen, not knowing what to do. "Alice." he stated. I nodded, not knowing where this was going. "Will you-" I pulled him to me again, a quick frantic moment. I was red beyond belief, and looking at the ground. "Does that answer your bloody question?" He tipped my chin up and nodded. "Oui. And you never told me how romantic you were!" he purred. My blush somehow got darker. His arms gently removed themselves from around my neck. "I must go now, beau. I will see you tomorrow?" I nodded. And he left.

As I walked in the house, I noticed none of my siblings were around to see that! I shot up to my room. I flopped down onto my bed. My cheeks were still flaming, and I desperately tried to relax. To no avail. I slipped into the bathroom, and splashed water on my face. When I glanced in the mirror, my face had returned to my normal pale/vampiric complexion. But my mind was still racing. Had Francis and I…really? "Good god." I muttered. Running to my room, I dumped my backpack out and focused on my homework, trying to get my mind of the fact that I had technically just agreed to go out with Francis Bonnefoy. Antonio didn't hate me, Francis apparently liked me. That left Gilbert. I laughed a bit. Maybe this school didn't suck so much after all!

I walked into school the next day to find Francis waiting for me. "Alice!" he exclaimed happily, before pecking me on the cheek. I shoved him away playfully. "Don't glomp me in public, ok?" He pouted. "Please? Just a little bit?" "No." I was adamant on this point. I had built up a reputation of being tough, and a bit aloof. I was fine with it. And didn't want it to change. "At least let me walk you to class!" "I know where it is. And for some reason, I don't think the idiot trio is going to attack me." Francis laughed. "I am truly sorry about that." I shook my head, exasperated.

Alfred was absent today, a fact that I noticed with shock. He had distracted me so much, I felt an almost tangible emptiness on my left. My right however, was occupied by a flirtatious Frenchman. I hadn't even known Francis was in this class with me! I shook my head. Having Alfred gone was like taking off a blindfold!

~~Matthew's POV~~

My brother had entered a state of clinical depression. He would stare at the ceiling, not doing anything. Our parents were out of town. Which is why I was the person taking care of Al. Finally, one day I got fed up. "Alfred Freedom Jones!" I yelled, walking into his room. He didn't say anything. "Alfred!" I yelled again. He blinked, then turned towards me slowly. "Matt? What's up?" he whispered. My heart broke at the emotion in his eyes, but I had to do this! "You have to snap out of this! Let's face it, Alice doesn't have feelings for you! So please, don't do this. Tomorrow, we're going to school. Me and you. Hockey season is over, so I'll be there. No argument." I remembered to breathe after my rant. "Alright." "What?" What had Alfred just said? "I said alright. I'll do it. Just…gimme today, ok?" I smiled. "Alright with me Alfie."

I dragged my brother through the school doors. His eyes were flicking about nervously, searching. But luckily we made it through without his having a nervous breakdown. Which was nice. He let my hand go, again, nice, because I had been losing circulation. "I-I'll be ok now." he stuttered. "Ok. See ya later Alfie." I hugged him quickly, because he looked so lost. "You'll be great." I jogged off.

Ok…I finally found a place to stop this. It's really crappy, but I love Fem!England, especially when she's badass and oblivious. Alfred's…yeah. Sorry about this. It probably hurts y'all…gah. Whatever. I'm bored. OH! That reminds me. I found THE perfect Revolutionary War song. BATTLESHIPS! By Daughtry. I died when I heard it. Literally. It fits so perfectly…XD