"I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind"
"Ashley! Get out of bed and get ready! We're leaving in a half hour!" Mrs. Kerwin yelled up the stairs.
Ashley rolled over and wiped the tears away from her soaked face. Leaving mean going to school. Going to school meant seeing everyone. Everyone meant Craig.
A half hour later was when Paige found her, cowering in the corner by herself.
"Hun, you can't hide forever. Besides it's just a boy, you'll be over him in no time," she said oblivious to Ashley's evil, I-wish-I-could- kill-you stare. Paige was her best friend, but she could be so brainless sometimes; for instance, now. Ashley could feel everyone staring at her (for her second time since she came to Degrassi years ago) and hung her head trying not to cry.
"I just can't seem to find a way to leave the left behind
I ain't trippin', I'm just missin' you
You know what I'm saying, you know what I mean"
All the sudden they stopped moving and Ashley's heart stopped when she looked up. She tried to turn around, but Paige wasn't having it.
"Hey Ash," he said awkwardly.
"Hey," she said to the floor.
"Ashley look at him!!" Paige hissed in her ear. Ashley looked up obediently and wished that she hadn't. There he was, in all his glory. Flannel shirt, blue T-shirt with hair tousled. At the very sight of him, her heart go ripped in two. Half of her still melted at the sight of him and longed to feel his lips on hers while her knees go weak. The other side wanted to spit venom at him for what he did. He played her like an X- BOX and thought she would never find out. To make matters worse, it was with Manny, a year below them.
"You kept me hanging on a string
Why'd you make me cry
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies"
Looking at him, with her heart split in two, the evil memory flooded her. 3 weeks earlier she had found out by accident he had Manny on the side. They were supposed to sing together at the concert, but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth. Who knew what would come out? She settled instead on a resounding slap across his face and then stalked off the stage. He came after her and seemed surprised that she knew. Well, Ashley Kerwin was no idiot. She walked and left him standing there, not wanting him to see her tears. She ran all the way home while sobbing and threw herself down on her bed. He tried to call and talk to her several times but she refused. She had loved him, the first guy to give her a chance after the whole Jimmy ordeal. She had trusted him, believed him and the whole while he was screwing around with some freshman behind her back. To make things even better; the freshman was shall we say, a "wee" bit slutty.
"Every now and then, when I'm all alone
I'd be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me bad, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you"
Ashley spent most of the vacation at home, living on the dream that eventually Craig would call and beg her forgiveness. He loved her, he swore that he did and would never hurt her. Now that he hurt her, he left her alone. Paige and Spinner tried to coax her to come out, but she wasn't having it.
"Ash, he was an ass and you know it! Why the hell do you want to get back together with that? I mean think of all the times he lied to you and hurt you," Paige tried to explain while Spin just shook his head in agreement.
"Guys, I'm sorry but I can't. I love him. He'll realize that he fucked up and he'll call me. I know it. Everything will be fine, just like it used to." Ashley shut the door in their face and left Paige and Spinner standing there, staring at each other. Spin started to shake his head slowly and started to walk down the walk.
"I can't take it, what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
I can't fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you"
"Ashley, hello?! Are you still with us?" Paige's voice came. Ashley shook her head and looked up straight at Craig, who was still standing there. He was staring at her questioningly. She just looked him in the eyes, wanting to see something, anything. Longing, sorrow, love, anything!! At first she thought she did, but a flicker came and at once, his eyes were empty.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing. Just...observing, that's all."
"Yeah... I gotta go," he said as he walked off. Ashley watched him go and exploded.
"Damn it!! I can't do anything!! I thought he'd be sorry, I thought he'd come back..."
"Ash??" Paige asked, confused her outburst.
"I thought...I thought he'd still be in love with me. Like I am with him," she finished softly as she started to sink to the floor.
"Hun it's ok..."
"No it's not!! He can't just get over me in 3 weeks, not if he loved me the way he said he did!! But fine, if he wants to pretend nothing happened, that's just fine. If nothing happened between us, I don't feel anything right?? I'm over him then right??" Paige just shot her a look that ensued the message "yeah right".
"God, I hate him!!!!" she yelled when she saw her friends face.
"Now there's a broken record that's been skipping in my head
I keep singing "Yesterday"
Why we got to play these games we play?"
"Ash! Hey-what's up?" came a familiar voice at lunch from the behind. -don't freak out, just be cool- she thought to herself.
"Hey Craig, what's going on?" she asked turning around.
"Not much, what are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing!! At least that I know of yet," she threw in that last part in her attempt not to appear so pathetic.
"Cool...so you wanna come over later?"
"Sure, I guess."
"Alright. I'll see you tonight." He walked away with a smile on his face. Ashley ran over to where all her friends where, bursting with excitement.
"What happened?? You look like you just got hooked up with some hot guy," Marco asked.
"So much better!! Craig asked me to come over tonight!!"
"Umm...Ash? It's probably just to hang out or something," ventured Ellie. Paige shot her an evil look, where as Paige despised Ellie, and put in her two cents.
"That's awesome! But for once, I might have to agree with what's-her- face. Be careful."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing!! I just don't want you to get hurt again," Paige quickly explained.
"Whatever," she muttered as she walked away.
**(Later that night)**
Ashley moved closer to Craig on his couch in the garage. She had memories here, good memories. Craig looked up at her and smiled.
"So umm...did you get that homework Brown gave us?" he asked.
"Kinda," she confessed while looking at him.
"Yeah. Well, I was kinda hoping you could help me with that."
"Yeah, I can do that," she replied coyly as she kissed him. Surprised, he kissed her back and her heart leapt with joy while that warm familiar feeling flooded her body. Suddenly he jumped up.
"Ash. I can't do this," he whispered.
"Why not?" she asked equally soft.
"We're not together anymore, remember? You're a great girl and all, but we're just friends."
"We weren't 3 weeks ago," she said dangerously close to her eyes filling.
"Ashley..."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm the one that assumed you wouldn't get over me so quickly and still love me."
"I do!!!"
"No, no you don't. You can't just pretend that nothing ever happened Craig!! I loved you, I gave you all that I have and you just trampled over it like it was a piece of grass. I hate what you did to me, but for some reason, I still love you. You're the one that I'd rather be with than anyone in the world and you just want to act like nothing ever happened!!" she yelled at him crying. He just stood there, looking at the floor, not wanting to see her cry, not wanting her to see his eyes full.
"If you want to play pretend, go ahead, have fun. But I can't and I won't. So leave me out of it," she ended it on a whisper as she walked out.
"I can't take it, what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
I can't fake it, the way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you"
A/N: this is my first attempt at a songfic. Please review and tell me what you think!!!
Or get you off my mind"
"Ashley! Get out of bed and get ready! We're leaving in a half hour!" Mrs. Kerwin yelled up the stairs.
Ashley rolled over and wiped the tears away from her soaked face. Leaving mean going to school. Going to school meant seeing everyone. Everyone meant Craig.
A half hour later was when Paige found her, cowering in the corner by herself.
"Hun, you can't hide forever. Besides it's just a boy, you'll be over him in no time," she said oblivious to Ashley's evil, I-wish-I-could- kill-you stare. Paige was her best friend, but she could be so brainless sometimes; for instance, now. Ashley could feel everyone staring at her (for her second time since she came to Degrassi years ago) and hung her head trying not to cry.
"I just can't seem to find a way to leave the left behind
I ain't trippin', I'm just missin' you
You know what I'm saying, you know what I mean"
All the sudden they stopped moving and Ashley's heart stopped when she looked up. She tried to turn around, but Paige wasn't having it.
"Hey Ash," he said awkwardly.
"Hey," she said to the floor.
"Ashley look at him!!" Paige hissed in her ear. Ashley looked up obediently and wished that she hadn't. There he was, in all his glory. Flannel shirt, blue T-shirt with hair tousled. At the very sight of him, her heart go ripped in two. Half of her still melted at the sight of him and longed to feel his lips on hers while her knees go weak. The other side wanted to spit venom at him for what he did. He played her like an X- BOX and thought she would never find out. To make matters worse, it was with Manny, a year below them.
"You kept me hanging on a string
Why'd you make me cry
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies"
Looking at him, with her heart split in two, the evil memory flooded her. 3 weeks earlier she had found out by accident he had Manny on the side. They were supposed to sing together at the concert, but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth. Who knew what would come out? She settled instead on a resounding slap across his face and then stalked off the stage. He came after her and seemed surprised that she knew. Well, Ashley Kerwin was no idiot. She walked and left him standing there, not wanting him to see her tears. She ran all the way home while sobbing and threw herself down on her bed. He tried to call and talk to her several times but she refused. She had loved him, the first guy to give her a chance after the whole Jimmy ordeal. She had trusted him, believed him and the whole while he was screwing around with some freshman behind her back. To make things even better; the freshman was shall we say, a "wee" bit slutty.
"Every now and then, when I'm all alone
I'd be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me bad, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you"
Ashley spent most of the vacation at home, living on the dream that eventually Craig would call and beg her forgiveness. He loved her, he swore that he did and would never hurt her. Now that he hurt her, he left her alone. Paige and Spinner tried to coax her to come out, but she wasn't having it.
"Ash, he was an ass and you know it! Why the hell do you want to get back together with that? I mean think of all the times he lied to you and hurt you," Paige tried to explain while Spin just shook his head in agreement.
"Guys, I'm sorry but I can't. I love him. He'll realize that he fucked up and he'll call me. I know it. Everything will be fine, just like it used to." Ashley shut the door in their face and left Paige and Spinner standing there, staring at each other. Spin started to shake his head slowly and started to walk down the walk.
"I can't take it, what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
I can't fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you"
"Ashley, hello?! Are you still with us?" Paige's voice came. Ashley shook her head and looked up straight at Craig, who was still standing there. He was staring at her questioningly. She just looked him in the eyes, wanting to see something, anything. Longing, sorrow, love, anything!! At first she thought she did, but a flicker came and at once, his eyes were empty.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing. Just...observing, that's all."
"Yeah... I gotta go," he said as he walked off. Ashley watched him go and exploded.
"Damn it!! I can't do anything!! I thought he'd be sorry, I thought he'd come back..."
"Ash??" Paige asked, confused her outburst.
"I thought...I thought he'd still be in love with me. Like I am with him," she finished softly as she started to sink to the floor.
"Hun it's ok..."
"No it's not!! He can't just get over me in 3 weeks, not if he loved me the way he said he did!! But fine, if he wants to pretend nothing happened, that's just fine. If nothing happened between us, I don't feel anything right?? I'm over him then right??" Paige just shot her a look that ensued the message "yeah right".
"God, I hate him!!!!" she yelled when she saw her friends face.
"Now there's a broken record that's been skipping in my head
I keep singing "Yesterday"
Why we got to play these games we play?"
"Ash! Hey-what's up?" came a familiar voice at lunch from the behind. -don't freak out, just be cool- she thought to herself.
"Hey Craig, what's going on?" she asked turning around.
"Not much, what are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing!! At least that I know of yet," she threw in that last part in her attempt not to appear so pathetic.
"Cool...so you wanna come over later?"
"Sure, I guess."
"Alright. I'll see you tonight." He walked away with a smile on his face. Ashley ran over to where all her friends where, bursting with excitement.
"What happened?? You look like you just got hooked up with some hot guy," Marco asked.
"So much better!! Craig asked me to come over tonight!!"
"Umm...Ash? It's probably just to hang out or something," ventured Ellie. Paige shot her an evil look, where as Paige despised Ellie, and put in her two cents.
"That's awesome! But for once, I might have to agree with what's-her- face. Be careful."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing!! I just don't want you to get hurt again," Paige quickly explained.
"Whatever," she muttered as she walked away.
**(Later that night)**
Ashley moved closer to Craig on his couch in the garage. She had memories here, good memories. Craig looked up at her and smiled.
"So umm...did you get that homework Brown gave us?" he asked.
"Kinda," she confessed while looking at him.
"Yeah. Well, I was kinda hoping you could help me with that."
"Yeah, I can do that," she replied coyly as she kissed him. Surprised, he kissed her back and her heart leapt with joy while that warm familiar feeling flooded her body. Suddenly he jumped up.
"Ash. I can't do this," he whispered.
"Why not?" she asked equally soft.
"We're not together anymore, remember? You're a great girl and all, but we're just friends."
"We weren't 3 weeks ago," she said dangerously close to her eyes filling.
"Ashley..."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm the one that assumed you wouldn't get over me so quickly and still love me."
"I do!!!"
"No, no you don't. You can't just pretend that nothing ever happened Craig!! I loved you, I gave you all that I have and you just trampled over it like it was a piece of grass. I hate what you did to me, but for some reason, I still love you. You're the one that I'd rather be with than anyone in the world and you just want to act like nothing ever happened!!" she yelled at him crying. He just stood there, looking at the floor, not wanting to see her cry, not wanting her to see his eyes full.
"If you want to play pretend, go ahead, have fun. But I can't and I won't. So leave me out of it," she ended it on a whisper as she walked out.
"I can't take it, what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
I can't fake it, the way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you"
A/N: this is my first attempt at a songfic. Please review and tell me what you think!!!