Disclaimer: I don't own Matt (I WISH! 3) or L, who are both from Death Note. Kthx.

A/N: This is. . .sweet. x)

"Matt, what is it?"

I looked up at Ryuuzaki. He stood just in front of me, but when I me this eyes, he knelt beside me.

"It's nothing. . ." I started, raking a hand across my face to hide the tears.

"You can tell me." I shook my head, trying not to let the tears show in my voice as I answered him. "There's. . .nothing to tell, really. . .I just. . .I'm sorry." I swallowed. "I'll be fine in a couple minutes." He placed a hand on my shoulder and I took a deep breath. "Really," I insisted. "I've just. . .lost a lot of sleep lately, and it's adding up."

"Matt-kun." he said, almost sternly. "You know I won't think any less of you. You do know that, don't you?"

"Yes." I sighed. "It's just that, I don't want. . ."

"And you know I am a master of keeping secrets. You do not need to worry." his eyes twinkled slightly and I nodded. I knew he was right. There was no one I could trust more than he. L. Of course I could confide in him.

"I just hate. . ." I swallowed, gathering my thoughts.

"Take your time." L said quietly. He turned, sitting against the wall, by my side.

"I wish I wasn't. . .hooked."

"On cigarettes?"

"Yeah."

L tentatively placed an arm around my shoulders and I moved away at first, surprised. But. . .I let him. "I can help you lessen the habit."

I laughed bitterly. "No offense, Ryuuzaki-san, but I doubt anyone can."

"Please, call me L."

I nodded before continuing. Somehow, deep down, part of me wanted, more than anything, to just tell him everything. How it started, why I started, who started it. . . "You know when I started."

"Yes, I remember."

"Well. . .I didn't realize I'd get so. . .addicted." L nodded encouragingly.

"At the time you told me to do what I thought was best." I remembered. "Well, I think my thoughts on what's best have changed now."

"You wish to quit?"

"Yeah, but I can't."

L smiled slightly, which annoyed me. What did he find funny, at a time like this?

"Ryu. . .L, I think it's too late."

"Matt-kun, if you say it's too late, that makes it too late."

I scowled, trying to follow his thought.

"You see, if you decide it's too late, you won't have the willpower to try." L explained.

We sat in silence for a few moments. Slowly, I was recovering, feeling more hopefully. If L helped, I was sure I could get through this. But. . .

"This isn't really the reason you're upset, is it, Matt-kun?"

Bingo.

"Well. . ."

"You started smoking," L guessed, "because you were so upset about. . .whatever the root problem is." I shrugged. I knew he was right, but I didn't know if I was ready to tell him what the true issue was. Not yet.

"Is this to do with Mello?"

I winced, realizing L would even guess that. . . "No."

He didn't seem to doubt my answer, because he continued guessing. "Perhaps with me?"

"No, conceited." I said, smiling a little, despite.

"Good." L smiled back. "Then, is it your family?"

I felt a jolt of pain. He'd hit the nail right on the head.

Apparently the fact that I didn't answer was proof enough for him. "I see." he said, quietly. "Can you tell me about your parents?"

"They're dead." I whispered.

"Is that what upsets you, or is it to do with when they were alive?"

I swallowed, feeling new tears threatening to emerge. "No, I know they're gone. . .that's. . .it's OK."

Silence. I felt like I needed to fill it. "I. . .well, when Mum died, I. . . I didn't know what to do anymore. I was only six." I glanced at L, who nodded, before continuing. "And Dad, he was so upset. He'd always been really good, but when she died. . .he started drinking."

"I see."

"And I didn't understand. I. . .I'd get in his way sometimes, when he was drunk, and he'd just be so upset." I stopped, not sure how I could keep going. If I really wanted to tell L this.

"Sometimes he lost his temper." L said, more stating the fact than guessing.

"Yeah, I guess. . ." I shook my head and added quickly, "But he wasn't bad to me. He didn't mean to."

"I understand."

"It's just, he'd get so drunk, he didn't know what he was doing. And he was always mad. . .mad that she left us." I tried to control my wavering voice. "He didn't have anyone to take it out on. . .so if I came too close, it just. . .it all came out."

I felt L shift slightly, bringing us into our second hug ever. There was something about L, the best detective, one of the strongest men in the world, hugging me, that just made me shiver. It was so. . .comforting. He was so powerful, so dignified, yet, he took the time to stoop down and make my life worth living.

"You're very independent, Matt." he whispered, right by my ear. "And I know you need to do things for yourself."

I listened, clinging to him, the only one in the world who I could trust at that moment.

"But everyone needs someone to lean on sometimes. Even you." L brushed copper bangs from my eyes and I stiffened a little. "I promise you, for as long as I am able, I will do my best to always be available for you."

"I know. . .I. . ."

L folded me against himself, the closest we'd ever been. I could feel my heart beating against him. "You don't need to smoke to ease the pain, Matt. I will help you."

And somehow, sitting on the floor in the corner of the Wammy House basement, tears streaming silently down my cheeks, I knew I was going to be OK.

Review? -waves L in face- :o