Wake Me
SUMMARY: Levi is injured and Eren is devastated. Is this all real? Is this how their lives are meant to be? Please R&R! (Set to the lyrics from "Last Three Letters" by Alesana.
The lyrics are from the song "Last Three Letters" by Alesana.
I DO OWN THE LYRICS TO THE SONG NOR THE SONG ITSELF, ALL CREDITS DUE TO ARTIST.
I DO NOT OWN SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN/ATTACK ON TITAN. ALL CHARACTERS MENTIONED BELONG TO ISAYAMA-SENSEI.
WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, SUICIDE
*word-song lyrics
*'word'-thought
*"word"-spoken word
*word-author's note
Dearest love I hope this message finds you well
Levi walked down to the dungeons under the Survey Corps Headquarters, finding Eren's bed empty already. He was pleased to find the room tidy, and the bed made. He made his way over to his subordinate's bed, and placed a piece of folded paper under the pillow. The brat would find it later when they returned from the expedition.
As these endless thoughts, drip from my soul
Every single word secretly paints a fairytale of when we will melt into one
It was a letter confessing his love for the brat. He mentally kicked himself, 'I can't believe I've fallen in love with that little shit.' He wasn't so good with words, so he would let Eren find the letter, and then decide what to do with it. He would understand if the younger man didn't return his feelings, but he'd be happier if Eren came running to him with his stupid smile and bright eyes. Levi walked up the stairs and to the stables, where Eren was preparing his horse for him. "Everything alright, sir", Eren asked. Levi gave a curt nod, looking away so Eren couldn't see the very slight blush to his cheeks.
A few hours later, and they were at the gates of Wall Rose. Commander Erwin gave his battle speech, and when the gates lifted, the Survey Corps soldiers filed out on their horses. Eren being next to Levi, who was also next to Hanji. This was just a scouting mission, to find any titans near the route they would take to Wall Maria, and they would be back by nighttime. It was a small group, only around fifty or sixty of them altogether. They rode towards open fields, and Levi kept sliding his eyes back and forth, scanning the area.
Eyes (I'm so scared)
Forfeit sight to the pain (So scared)
Levi couldn't move and it was pissing him off. Wherever he was, it was pitch black, and he couldn't speak. He kept hearing murmurs in the distance, like a soft humming. He tried to open his mouth and tell whatever it was to shut the fuck up, but he couldn't even feel his mouth opening or closing. The longer he laid in the darkness, the more panicked he became. His breath quickened and he started to feel himself shake uncontrollably. The humming got louder and faster, almost as if picking up on his panic.
Cold scalpel's steel whispers tear at my very core
As I cling to my memories of you
Levi opened his eyes again and saw a difference, there was a little light. It was extremely fuzzy, and it hurt his head to try to make out shapes. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his side, like he had been stabbed. He tried to scream, but no sound came from his mouth. What the fuck was wrong with him? His muscles screamed in pain as he willed his body to move, but it was useless.
(I need you with me)
He felt the fire-like pain in his side subside, and his thoughts turned to Eren. Where was that damn brat? He hoped he was okay, and that he wasn't suffering in whatever Hell Levi was in. 'I wish I was holding his hand…' Levi thought as he drifted into unconsciousness.
Were the last words that I wrote for you, enough to tell you that in my death,
The light that shone through my painful darkness was a blinding vision of your eternal smile
Pain. That was all Levi felt. Constant, burning pain. He had stopped trying to scream, he didn't know how long ago. Could have been seconds, minutes, hours, years? He wasn't so sure of himself anymore, and he felt his mind start to slip. He kept hallucinating that Eren was in this void with him, telling him that everything was going to be alright. That he loved him, and was going to protect him from titans, and Levi wanted to laugh, to cry, to hug the damn brat but his body just wouldn't listen to his mind.
He wondered if Eren had found the letter under his pillow.
'I think I got eaten by a titan' he finally admitted to himself. He couldn't remember anything after the gates opened, and he had glanced at Eren, and noticed the determined look in his eyes. The same look he had given Levi the day they met, that determination was part of the reason Levi fell in love with the younger man in the first place. It pissed him off that he couldn't remember anything, and not knowing if Eren was okay was driving him insane.
It's me again
Eren walked into the infirmary and sat beside Levi's bed, picking up his hand and holding it, like he had done every day since they got back from the expedition.
Is it me, or am I wrong to be concerned?
Eren cried, letting silent tears fall down his face and drop onto his pants. He pleaded over and over, whispering, "Please wake up. Please wake up. I need you. Please don't leave me. Levi, I love you. Please. I can't live without you."
Will the beauty of your pen ever cross my eyes again?
"Eren, go get some sleep. I'll be here with him, and I'll send for you if anything changes", Hanji told him with a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't slept since they got back, and he could feel sleep dragging his eyes down, but he willed them to stay open. He hadn't left his captain's side, and had no intention of doing so. But he trusted Hanji so he nodded at her suggestion and stood. Just as he was about to walk out of the door, he returned to Levi's bedside, and, when he thought Hanji wasn't looking, leaned down to kiss the older man's cheek. Blushing afterwards, he quickly walked to his bedroom in the basement.
Eren had found the letter when he flopped down on his bed, it had been two days since their return from the wall. He folded his arms under the pillow, ready to bury his head into the pillow and sob until he passed out, when he felt paper. He pulled out the rectangle and unfolded it, revealing a well written letter addressed to him. It was a love confession, and he knew by the handwriting who had written it before he even got to the bottom. He ran to back to the infirmary, sleep be damned. Levi loved him, and would possibly die without knowing his answer.
Was this all a lie?
"He's not getting better Hanji! Why isn't he waking up?"
Why?
Eren sat down in the chair and mumbled a 'sorry' to Hanji before grabbing Levi's hand again. And that's where he remained, and now it was two weeks later and Levi still hadn't woken.
Make it stop, make this pounding in my head stop
Levi's head began to pound, like he had a massive migraine. It felt like it was going to explode, and he couldn't even move his body to rub his temples, which usually helped when he had a headache. He then felt the bursting feeling move down his neck and into his arms. A numbing feeling creeped its way from his toes up to his legs.
(I don't know what happened, who would have thought my life
Would end up like this?)
'What the fuck is happening to me!?'
Fill my lungs with air, give me one more day to make her dreams come true
Levi felt tears fall down his cheeks, and he was begging silently 'Please. Let me get back to Eren. Eren. Eren! Please. I love you. I can't leave him. Please. Please.'
(I never even got a chance to see her face)
Levi saw Eren floating above him, smiling his adorable grin, beautiful eyes shining bright.
She understands right? That I'm not coming back
He felt Eren's arms around his neck. His skin burned everywhere, but Eren was here and touching him, so he would deal with it.
(Or to touch her hair and now it's too late)
Without thinking, Levi ran a hand through the dark brown mess on Eren's head, surprised that he could now move his arms. They were heavy, though, and felt like lead. Levi stared into the teal eyes, and felt himself crying, not in pain this time, but happiness that he finally gets to see and feel Eren again.
She understands right? That I'm not coming back
Eren mouthed something, and a pained look came across his face. Levi tried to ask what he said, and nodding in understanding, Eren leaned down close to Levi's ear.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you."
(I didn't mean to hurt her, not hurt her like this. I can't feel my legs)
Levi began to shake uncontrollably. His vision was slipping and he was trying to scream. Eren was fading away and smiling at him, but tears were falling down his beautiful face onto Levi's cheeks.
Make it stop, make the pounding stop
Eren leaned down, and kissed Levi lightly, before disappearing completely.
(I can't feel my legs and I can't even cry. How could someone die like this)
The numbness finally reached his chest, and he felt himself stop shaking.
I'm not coming back, I'm not coming back I'm not coming back
Darkness clouded his vision. Finally, everything was black.
Who would have thought my life would end up like this
'Eren.'
If my word even reach you, I'll assume you don't care
"No. No, no, no, no, no", Eren kept repeating to himself. He shook Levi lightly by the shoulders, but his chest remained stilled. "Levi. LEVI!"
Hanji put a hand on Eren's shoulder, "Eren, he's gone."
Never knew silence could cut so deep
It was eerily quiet in the infirmary as people came in to say their final goodbyes to the captain.
Or that you could twist the blade
Eren just stood there, never letting go of Levi's hand. He kept repeating the same things in his head, 'Why couldn't I save him? I'm weak. I'm useless. Levi, I'm sorry. You were so strong. I can't do this. I love you. Please come back.'
Now I curse all your beautiful lies
Eren took the letter from his pocket. He read it over and over, voices fading until it was only he, Hanji, Erwin, and Levi's corpse in the small room.
Hanji began making preparations for Levi's burial. Neither officers noticed Eren quietly slip from the room.
I love you and goodbye
The air felt amazing up here, and the clouds looked so beautiful. They were the same grey color of Levi's eyes, promising rain. Soon, Eren could hear shouting, people were looking for him. They wouldn't find him until it was too late, because he had found a secret passage up here, and the only person he showed was Levi. It was their special place, where they came to talk together.
Eren brought his blade up to his throat, hesitating. Won't it just heal?
He took the blade around the back of his head, to the nape of his neck. He stepped up on the ledge, and looked down.
He drew his arm quickly to the side, slicing his nape, body falling to the ground below.
The last thing he heard was a scream, he assumed it was Mikasa, "Eren, no!"
Cold scalpel's steel whispers tear at my very core
Eren opened his eyes, seeing clear blue skies. A light breeze was blowing, and it felt good on his skin. Something was beside him, and it was really warm. He looked to his left and saw black hair, a head rising and falling with every breath he took.
As I cling to my memories of you
Levi felt eyes on him and looked up, smiling.
"Hey, brat. It's about time you woke up, come on, it's getting late and we need to get home."
Eren looked at him, confused.
He watched as Levi pulled out his cellphone, and saw "Hanji" on the screen. Levi answered and began talking, standing and pulling Eren with him. Eren was just staring at Levi, not listening to the conversation. After Levi hung up, he held Eren's hand as they walked back to their car, Levi hopping in the driver's seat.
"Tell me about the dream you had Eren", was all Levi said.
I need you with me.
Eren smiled and sighed to himself, happy that he had only been dreaming. He told Levi it was nothing serious, and to forget about it.
He leaned over to Levi and kissed him.
"I love you, Levi", Eren whispered.
Levi blushed and looked back at the road, "I love you too, Eren."
A/N: I didn't put how Levi was injured because I honestly didn't know myself. I wanted to leave it up to the reader's imagination.
I think I'm going to stick with this for a while. Writing stories set to music that I listen to just helps get my creative juices flowing.
(Basically all I do when I want to write a fanfic: Put my song on shuffle and the first song that comes on, I'll just go with it.)