Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. That's George Lucas
Back to Before
I can't go back. I know that. But if I were given the opportunity, would I?
What did I have before?
Obi-Wan, my mentor.
He was always jealous of me, and my abilities. He always held me
back. It was because of his carelessness that Padme and I went to
Geonosis. It was Obi-Wan who stopped me from rescuing Padme when she
fell from the ship when we were chasing Dooku. And it was he who
forbade my marriage to Padme. Would I go back to him?
It was also
he who trained me to be a Jedi, when the entire Jedi Council believed
that I was too young. It was he who was a father figure to me. And it
was he who saved my life numerous times.
Yoda, my master. Yoda, who 'sensed much fear in me'. Yoda, who I laughed at because he didn't talk normal. It was also this little Jedi Master that kept me from my children.
But it was also Yoda who gave me wise advice. It was Yoda who trusted me on missions. And it was Yoda who saved our lives on Geonosis, when Dooku proved too much for Obi-Wan and I.
Jar Jar Binks, the Gungan. The stupid bumbling Gungan who got his hand caught in the energy binders on my pod racer. The Gungan who was always stumbling, stuttering, and always getting into some kind of trouble.
But it was Jar Jar who first offered me friendship when I left Tatooine. It was Jar Jar who could always make me laugh. Jar Jar who recognized me after not seeing me for ten years.
Shmi Skywalker, my mother. She didn't like me podracing. She didn't like Qui-Gon either. It was her death that caused me to lose control and slaughter all the Tuskan Raiders in the camp she was held at.
But it was my mother who cared for me the first ten years of my life. My mother who protected me from the harsh environment of the Tatooine deserts. And it was Shmi Skywalker Lars that I held in my arms as she died from the Sand Peoples' wounds, her last words were "I love…"
Padme, my wife. The woman who thought I would always be 'that little boy she knew on Tatooine'. Padme, who hid my children from me when they were born.
But it was Padme, who I loved with all of my soul. She was my angel, my only one. She was a passionate Queen, an eloquent Senator. The mother of my children, Luke and Leia. The most beautiful woman in the galaxy, always ready to jump right in, and fight for what she thought was right. The woman I miss more than anything in the world.
As I look over the remnants of Coruscant, I can make out the remains of the Jedi Temple.
The remains.
What have I done? What have I become? A monster, that's what Padme called me. That hurt more than I could have ever thought possible. I've become just like the machinery that keeps my body alive: cold and heartless. I'm a slave to the Emperor. Never an equal. I ask myself: Would I go back? Back to before? Back to before the Empire?
I would.