AN: This is a weird thing that just kind of came to me. Like back when it was cool to take online surveys and stuff. Bold is questions. Normal is Laura's answers. Italics is Ross'.
THE ULTIMATE SEX QUIZ
1) How often do you prefer to have sex?
Woah! Come out a little strong there don't ya think? Like, I don't even know you and you're asking me such a personal question! Maybe once we're better friends….
Like twice a day at least. Laura likes to get frea
ROSS SHOR LYNCH!
Don't steal the pen when I'm writing! We agreed to do this thing together so let my write my answers. Damn. Bossy.
Sigh.
2) What is your sexual orientation?
Straight. Like so, so, straight. George Clooney, am I right?
Straight. Although I should probably be offended that my girlfriend used George Clooney as the reason she was straight instead of me. Maybe I should just leave and go hang out with Calum.
You do that. I'm sure all those Coss shippers would love that. Ross and Calum sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-
Shut up.
Wait, you can't just yell at me for stealing the pen from you midsentence and then take the pen from me! Jerk.
3) How often do you masturbate?
Ew, wait, no! So not okay to answer that! Next question!
Every morning.
….What.
You know, like I wake up and have morning wood. You aren't there so I just take care of it.
Ross, we literally sleep together like five times a…nevermind. Next question.
;)
4) Have you ever masturbated in front of your partner while they watched?
Ah, no way!
Wait…why have we never done that?
…You wanna see me…do that? Touch myself?
Okay. Sorry for that brief intermission. Yes. I can now officially say I've masturbated in front of my partner while they watched.
And can I just say, it was one hell of a show.
Ross!
5) Have you had sex with more than one person within a 24 hour period?
Ugh no. I find this question super degrading! If I were to theoretically say yes, which I'm not, I'd be a slut. If Ross said yes he'd be some super sex god
Babe. You're ranting.
Whatever. Just answer the question.
Yes. Once when we were on tour I hooked up with these super hot
WHAT
OW! Kidding. I'm just kidding. But seriously. Does roleplay count? There was that one night when you were a maid, then a nurse, then a stripper
Oh my gosh, moving on.
6) Have you ever had sex with someone of the same sex?
That's a lot of sex in one sentence.
Quit stalling. Answer the question.
Seriously? You know I haven't!
How am I supposed to know that? I've seen your Twitter mentions. There are plenty of ladies willing to throw themselves at you!
Jealous?
Nah. I've got my Calum rumors to keep my homosexual side warm at night.
You're so ridiculous. Should I be worried about this?
Next question.
7) Have you had anal sex?
Laura is covering her eyes, squealing, and blushing so I'll answer yes for the two of us OW SHIT LAURA OKAY OKAY NO I was just kidding. No we totally have never done that!
8) Have you ever had a cyber sex?
How did you convince me to take this with you?
Oh don't play shy, Laur. Tell them about the tour.. ;)
Them?! Who is them?! You said no one would ever see this! Ross Shor Lynch I swear to God if you show anyone this
I won't! It's just for you and me, baby. I promise. Now answer the question.
Well….okay. There was definitely a lot of FaceTime nudity while you were touring. And filming TBM2. Oh God, remember that one night after I bought that lingerie from Victorias Secret?
Mmm. That lingerie. Where is that anyway? I think we need to take another break.
9) Have you ever had phone sex?
We're back. You know, you would never tell by hearing her talk but Laura has like, the sexiest voice when she's turned on. It's husky, and breathy, and just…God damn.
Would you please put your clothes back on? Your back dimples are distracting me.
Oh shit. Laura's tongue is literally running down my spine right now so we'll be back in a minute.
10) Have you ever watched your partner have sex with somebody else?
Don't even.
You're sexy when you're possessive.
Oh yes and I'm sure that has nothing to do with the fact that you still won't let me put my clothes on.
I'm just trying to be efficient.
11) Have you ever had a threesome.
See above.
12) Have you ever had sex in public?
Does it count if there was no one around?
Yes, Laura. Us fucking on the counter of the Sonic Boom set still counts even if no one was around.
Oh. Then yes. Like…a lot of times.
13) Have you ever had a true one night stand?
No. Regardless of what Andrew might tell you.
Did you really just take the pen so you could cross out Andrew's name?
Ross, stop! No. I haven't had a one night stand.
I did once.
Stop glaring at me, it was before we were together.
Babe. You're scaring me.
Baby?
14) Have you ever had sex on the first date?
Nope!
Unless you consider a one night stand to be a date, in which case, yes you have. Slut.
Someone's bitter.
Someone's cut off.
15) Have you ever incorporated food in to sex such as the creative use of fruits and vegetables?
Let me start by saying that Ross totally just made up for his slutiness. Can I just say, he sure knows his way around a woman's body. And no! But what I great idea! I'm sure I can get us some free veggies from Birds Eye. I am their spokesperson for Disney afterall. (Shameless plug)
Oh yeah. I'd love to hear that conversation. "Hey, Birds Eye. Can you hook me up with some free fruits and veggies so I can share with all my Disney Channel fans how good it feels to have Ross Lynch run his strawberry coated lips down my stomach and around my clit?"
Oh fuck, that sentence should not have turned me on as much as it did.
You're insatiable.
You love it.
16) Are you into S&M during sex?
Okay. Ross and I have officially decided that we are going to finish this out without any more sexual distractions. So no more sexy answers. Sorry. Anyway, Ross loves when I pull his hair while he's inside of me. Or going down on me. He REALLY likes it when he's going down on me.
And Laur likes when I slap her ass while she's riding me. Hands on my chest….head thrown back…mouth open….riding me so fucking hard.
UGH ROSS SHOR LYNCH STOP IT, YOU TEASE!
17) Has a partner performed oral sex on you?
See above. And yes. I've totally returned the favor.
18) Do you like using restraints such as handcuffs or rope?
We've only used scarves. But it was so hot to have him at my mercy like that….
No comment.
19) Have you ever role played during sex?
Damn straight we have! Having an actress for a girlfriend? Best. Decision. Ever.
Aw, you're the sweetest, baby!
20) Have you ever made a sex tape with your partner?
Ross. Lynch. Don't. Say. A. Word.
Okay, okay! But THANK GOD FOR GO-PROS.