Welcome, welcome, one and all! This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction and it is in fact a collaborative piece; I have a very dear friend who is helping me to write it. We were discussing at length all the glorious possibilities of what could have happened if James and Lily had not died and Harry had grown up as he was intended to... constantly encouraged by the Marauders. So without further ado I present to you the first chapter, in which we assume James would have taken up work in the Ministry as an auror. I daresay you'll encounter a few other names and faces on the way...

Enjoy!

James Potter was having what most would call a Bad Day. The worst day, in fact, that he could ever remember having since his start as an auror some six months previously. He would have thought the rather miraculous defeat of the dark wizard known as Lord Voldemort a month ago would have made his job much easier; however, it had only served to make the Death Eaters more vicious in their efforts to continue his anti-muggle campaign.

It had really been an accident that had been the downfall of the greatest dark wizard of all time – a group of aurors had caught up with him and a few of his most devoted followers, and the Dark Lord had been a bit too preoccupied with dodging a severing charm to realize a wayward blasting curse had hit the stone pillars behind him. It had sent half the abandoned castle that had been serving as his hideout toppling down, effectively crushing him, his devotees, and all the aurors in the premises.

It was, as stated by Rita Skeeter in her Daily Prophet article on the battle, "one of the most anticlimactic endings she had ever had the misfortune to report." On an unrelated note, the paper's headline that morning had been "You-Know-Who's Efforts Fall Flat." It was the most successful edition of the paper since it was first released in 1743.

It seemed such an undignified end to such a powerful dark wizard had lit an inferno in the hearts of the Death Eaters, as if they were desperate to prove their cause would not die as easily as their leader. Reports of intense muggle abuse had been pouring in for a month, and as a relatively new auror in the department, James had been assigned to office work rather than field, and was forced to run reports to and from the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office several times a day.

James's only consolation was that Arthur Weasley, head of the department, seemed to be having an even worse time than he was. When James trudged into his office for the fifth time that day, Arthur swore colorfully and snatched the report in James's hands away, repeating the same rant James had been hearing for the better part of a month now. "It's the most despicable series of muggle baiting in history! Don't these madmen have anything better to do with their time? What on earth could it possibly be now?"

He tore into the report and stared at it for a moment. "What in the name of Merlin's beard is a chainsaw?" he asked.

James was rather familiar with several muggle artifacts, his wife being muggle born, but he had never heard of a chainsaw before. "I don't know."

Arthur read through the report with a disgusted look on his face. "Well, whatever it is, a cursed one of them flew through Langley last night and decapitated half a dozen muggles! Oh, good god, that's disgusting—"

"Things going well there for you, Arthur?" James asked, rubbing at a crick in his neck and yawning.

"Well? My department hasn't received this much attention in years! Normally I'd be overjoyed, but just at the moment it's a bloody nightmare, innit?" Arthur said hurriedly, rummaging through his desk for a quill. "Tell me you at least caught the Death Eaters responsible for this chainsaw incident!"

"Dunno. I was just handed that piece of parchment and told to run it down here," James shrugged. "I expect that'll be in the report, though."

"Report – oh, of course—" Arthur scanned the parchment in his hand and let out a noise of approval. "Well, one of them, at least, who knows, could've been more responsible. Evidently the idiot wanted to stay behind and watch his handiwork…"

"The Dementors have been having a veritable feast as of late, I suspect," James said, picking up a rubber duck perched on the edge of Arthur's desk and twirling it idly in his fingers. "We've been sending an average of three suspected Death Eaters down to Azkaban a day. Not all of them will stay there, I expect, a few of them will manage to strike some deals with the Wizengamot, but at least we're clearing some of the vermin off the streets, right?"

"Well, I wish your office would hurry up already and clear the lot," Arthur grumbled, sinking into his chair and letting out a long and heavy sigh. "Late nights for the last three weeks, I've barely seen my wife, and she's running ragged what with the new baby…"

James perked up at this comment. "I didn't know Molly had the baby!"

"What? Oh, yes. At the start of March, actually… Ronald, we named him. Ronald Bilius, after my brother." The corners of Arthur's lips twitched as he thought of his newest son. James could hardly fathom having as many children as Arthur and Molly. This new baby of theirs brought their total number of children up to six, and all sons.

"Well, I know this a little late, but congratulations at any rate," James said, and Arthur smiled at him.

"I hear you're about to become a father yourself, aren't you?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah. Lily's due any day now, actually. I initially wanted to take some time off, you know, to make sure I'm there when she delivers, but what with all the work to be done around here…" James sighed.

"Oh, it'll be fine. Any half decent man would let you leave work for a day or two if you got an owl telling you your wife was having your baby," Arthur assured him. "And Mad-Eye's head of your department; I know he's fond of you. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

James cracked a grin and set the rubber duck back on Arthur's desk. "Thanks. I should probably be getting back upstairs. Other reports to run, I'm sure… bet you a sickle they'll send me back down here before the day's out, what do you say?"

"Oh, I never gamble when I know I'll lose," Arthur laughed. "Say, James, you and your wife should come round The Burrow for tea sometime when all this nonsense has died down. I know Molly would love the company."

"Careful, Arthur; I may just take you up on that offer," James joked, ducking out of the office and sprinting up the hall to catch the lift back up to the Auror department.

James returned home very late that evening; Lily was already in bed, thumbing through the latest edition of Witch Weekly with the bedside lamp on. She looked up when James came into the bedroom, and seeing his weary countenance set the magazine aside. "Hard day?" she asked sympathetically.

"It's a madhouse out there," James groaned, throwing his jacket on the armchair in the corner and sinking down into his half of the bed, burying his face in his wife's shoulder. "Wish I could be home with you."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm fine. Remus stopped by today, kept me company. You just focus on work for now, I'm sure your office is absolute chaos what with Voldemort getting crushed and all." She grinned, morbidly amused by the circumstances of the dark wizard's death. It was the only time she had ever agreed with Rita Skeeter on any point, the fact that his death had been almost comically anticlimactic.

James smiled and kissed her cheek, his hand going to her swollen stomach. Their baby was due any day now, and he was stuck all day in the office. "I love you," he told her.

"I know you do," Lily smirked, catching his mouth with hers. "Go get dressed for bed now, I won't have you sleeping in your suit. What sort of a wife would that make me?"

James groaned half-heartedly and got up, disappearing briefly into their closet and then the bathroom. Lily resumed her reading and waited for her husband to return.

He came back into the room and fell into bed next to her. Lily sighed, genuinely feeling badly for him. She knew he hated being out all day with the possibility of missing the birth of their first child constantly weighing on his mind. She set aside her magazine and shut off the lamp, snuggling in next to him and kissing his cheek once before shutting her eyes.

She was almost certain he had fallen asleep before his voice cut through the dark. "Lily?"

"What is it, James?"

"What's a chainsaw?"

We very dearly hope you'll review. Until chapter two, all!