"Alec!"
Seeing his Alexander on the ground, the body of his parabatai on top of him, and an arrow sticking through his heart made Magnus feel more terrified than he ever had in a very long time. Channeling all the magic his father had given him into his hands, Magnus threw everything that he could at the Owl.
The demon was thrown back and hit the wall of the alley, as Magnus ran to Alexander. "Stay with me," he whispered. Out of the corner of his eye Magnus could see the demon leave Jace's body but he was more concerned with his boyfriend dying on the ground beside him.
"M-mom said… you'd make a dramatic entrance," Alec gasped out between breathes.
Magnus allowed a smile to come to his lips as he brought his hand up to remove the arrow from his boyfriend. "Wise woman," he whispered.
Jace ran up and kneeled beside Alec. "Alec," he said, panicked.
"Jace… i-it wasn't you," Alec said before closing his eyes.
Jace looked to Magnus. "Magnus please you have to heal him."
Magnus nodded and felt his own magic come to his fingertips, healing his boyfriend. "I'll handle him," he told Jace. "Go stop Lilith."
Jace's eyes turned golden as he muttered something about Clary and ran off. Magnus kept his full attention on the Shadowhunter in front of him. As the wound began to close, and Alec regained a bit of consciousness Magnus created a portal back to his loft and half carried Alec through it and onto the couch.
Magnus finally allowed himself to calm down a little bit. His Shadowhunter was fine, Jace was fine, and everything would be okay. Well, everything except for one. Magnus shook the thought from his head. He had to focus on Alec right now. With a snap of his fingers Alec's shirt was gone and Magnus could see the wound better. It was deep, but not deep enough to pierce the boys heart. A few moments later he heard an explosion from where they were just at. Magnus couldn't allow himself to worry about what had happened. He had faith in the other Shadowhunters.
After a little while, Alec's stab wound, as well as his arm was healed as much as Magnus could heal him and he collapsed on the floor beside the couch. As tired as he was, he couldn't fall asleep. So, he sat on the floor and watched his Shadowhunter. He watched him, and traced every curve of his face, every muscle and rune on his body. It was at this point he let himself think about what would happen next. He'd never get to have this again. He'd never be able to hold his precious Shadowhunter again.
Hours later, Alec woke up and turned to see his boyfriend beside him, staring at him intently and gripping his hand tightly. Alec smiled brightly at his boyfriend, but for some reason, Magnus didn't smile back.
"You're back," Alec whispered. He tried to sit up but hissed at the pain in his chest.
"Don't move," Magnus chided. "You're still healing."
"W-what happened? With Jace and Lilith? What about Clary?" Alec started panicking. So much had to have happened while he was unconscious!
"I-I'm not sure," Magnus admitted. "I used my fathers magic to break Jace free, and then he went to go find Clary. While I was healing you I heard an explosion, but I don't know what happened."
"We have to find out," Alec said quickly. He tried to get up, but Magnus gently pushed him back down.
"You're not going anywhere," he said sternly. "And there's something I need to tell you."
"Can't it wait?" Alec asked. He had to know what happened. His whole family was there, his parabatai.
Magnus sighed, hesitating for a few seconds, but he eventually nodded. "I'll call Maryse," he said as he walked out of the room. As he walked out Alec started to feel worried. Was there something wrong with his boyfriend? He looked okay, as far as Alec could tell, except for being tired.
Magnus came back a few minutes later with a tight look on his face. That certainly didn't make Alec feel any better. "What happened?" he asked.
"Isabelle, Jace and Maryse are all okay," Magnus started off. "Most everyone is actually, at least physically. Apparently, Lilith attempted to kill Simon and the mark on his forehead activated the explosion." Magnus took a deep breath, and Alec thought he saw tears in his eyes. "C-Clary was in the explosion. Simon thinks he killed her."
"Thinks?" Alec repeated.
"There was no body, and so Jace and Luke are refusing to believe she's actually dead."
Alec took a few minutes to process it all. Clary was dead, or at least might be? He was always so terrible to her, but he never wanted her to die. She made his parabatai so happy. That was when he felt the hollowness at his side. It wasn't like when Jace died, but it still hurt. It was like Jace felt empty. He had to go help him.
Alec was able to sit up before Magnus stopped him from moving any farther. "Magnus, I have to go help Jace. He needs me."
"I know," Magnus said, "and I will portal you to the Institute right after I tell you what I need to tell you."
"Can't it wait until I get back? Ja-"
"I won't be here when you get back," Magnus finally blurted.
"W-what?" Alec said, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"I have to tell you now because I'll probably be gone by the time you get back."
"W-where are you going?"
Magnus took a deep breath. "I'm going back to Edom."
Alec's blood went cold. "No. No, why would you go back there? You just got back."
"I have to go back Alexander. I promised my father that I would."
"Why would you promise that?"
"So he would allow me to use the magic to break Jace free of his possession," Magnus admitted.
"For how long?" Alec choked put. What could Asmodeus want from Magnus? What would Magnus be willing to give?
"Indefinitely," he said softly. "I promised him I would rule beside him in Edom, for Jace's freedom."
Alec could have sworn his heart stopped. He had a sharp pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his previous injury.
"Alexander, everything will be okay."
"Stop," Alec said quietly. He stood up, ignoring the pain from his injury as he did so, and started pacing the floor.
"Jace is okay, you have your family," Magnus went on.
"Stop," he said louder, but Magnus kept going.
"You'll be okay."
"Stop!" he shouted. "How can anything be okay Magnus!? You expect me to be okay when you just told me that you're going to Edom and that you're not coming back! You expect me to be okay when you say that this is the last time I will ever see you! Nothing is okay Magnus! Nothing!"
Alec couldn't breathe. He was trying to inhale, but no oxygen would enter his lungs. He felt Magnus wrap his arms around him and he held onto his boyfriend tighter than he ever thought possible.
"Shh, shh," Magnus said quietly.
"N-no. Please Magnus, don't leave me. I already told you that I couldn't live without you. I just got you back, please don't go again." He somehow squeezed his boyfriend closer to him, desperate to keep him where he was. He knew that if he let go, Magnus would leave, and he'd never come back.
"I'm so sorry, angel," Magnus said, still clinging to him. "It was the only way to get Jace back. I had to agree."
Alec shook his head from where it lied on his boyfriend's shoulder. Magnus didn't have to agree. He never would have done it, never would have even been in Edom if he didn't love Alec. It was Alec's fault. He should have convinced him not to go, that they would have found a different way. A way where Magnus didn't have to remain with his father, and Alec didn't have to lose the love of his life.
"Alexander, stop. I can practically hear you blaming yourself." Magnus tried to pull away slightly, but Alec wouldn't let him. He kept clinging to him as Magnus lifted his head up, still barely inches away from each other. "I don't regret my decision, and I'd do it again if I had to. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do everything in my power to save your parabatai."
"Then how do you expect me to live with myself Magnus? How am I supposed to live with the fact that you're sending yourself to Edom, all for me? That you wouldn't have had to deal with any of this if you hadn't fallen in love with me?" Alec said.
"If I could go back and stop myself from ever meeting you Alexander, I wouldn't do it. These last few months knowing you, loving you, have been some of the best experiences I've ever had in my life, if not the best. I love you so much Alexander, and I wish more than anything that I could stay with you, but I can't." Magnus took a deep breath. "I would give up anything for you because that is exactly what love is. You would give everything, and you would never regret because you made their life better, and they got to be happy, even if you aren't."
"But Magnus, I'm not happy. How could I be happy when you're leaving? When I'll never get to see you again?"
"It might be hard now but," Magnus took a very deep breath, "but it'll get easier. You'll move on eventually."
Alec's eyes hardened at that. He shook Magnus off him and started pacing again. "You don't get it, do you Magnus? I won't be okay. It won't be better, and I will never move on from you! How could you even begin to think that? How could you think that I could just forget about you or go on to somebody else? In case you didn't realize Magnus, you are the love of my life! I already knew that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It's not something I can just change my mind about!"
"Then what do you want from me Alexander!? I didn't want this, but it was the only way to save your parabatai! I had to do it, and you just have to live with the fact that you couldn't have both! It was me or Jace!"
"Well did you ever think for one second that maybe you picked wrong Magnus!?" That made Magnus think flinch back. He looked at Alec with wide, confused eyes. "Did you ever think that maybe I would pick you!?"
"D-don't be ridiculous Alexander. That's your parabatai."
"I love Jace. He's my brother, but…" Alec couldn't finish what he wanted to say.
"It doesn't matter," Magnus interrupted before he could figure it out. "What's done is done and no one breaks a deal with Asmodeus."
"No," Alec refused. "No, I don't believe that. There must be some way to fix this. There has to be something else that he wants."
"You don't understand Alexander. I made a deal, and I can't go back on that, who knows what he would do. Even if there was something else the price would be so much worse than this."
"Then I'll pay-"
"No," Magnus cut him off firmly. He wouldn't let him finish that sentence. "No Alexander, I did this so that you wouldn't have to give up anything."
"I thought love was about sacrifice Magnus! I thought it was about giving up anything for the other person. Why is it only you that can sacrifice something?"
"I'm allowed to give up my life because I've lived before, and I'll keep living after. If I play my cards right my father will probably let me go within a few centuries. But you Alec, you deserve to have a full life. You only have one lifetime and you should have the best that you can."
"Magnus don't you understand that I can't live a full life if I don't have you in it," Alec said. Magnus sighed deeply. His face fell and his shoulders sagged. It looked like he gave up. Alec questioned what he had given up on as Magnus sat back down on the couch.
"I'm trying to make this easier Alec," He buried his face in his hands. "If I knew that you'd be happy then I thought that I might be able to survive in Edom. I thought that if you could live a good life without me then it would make it easier to leave. I should have known better, Shadowhunters never make anything easy."
Alec went to go sit by him, leaving no distance between them, and grabbed his hand. "I'm not sorry. I'm not letting you leave," he said.
"You don't have a choice. As soon as my father opens his portal from Edom I'll have to go through it." Alec shook his head and rested it on Magnus' shoulder. He couldn't let him go.
"When did he say he'd open it?"
"He didn't," Magnus said. "He just said he'd give me enough time to find Lilith. It could be any second."
Alec shook his head. "I'm not letting you go."
"Alexander-"
"No," Alec cut him off. He turned the warlock and hugged him tightly to his chest. "No."
"Please Alec-"
Alec cut him off with a harsh kiss to his lips. Magnus immediately melted into his boyfriend and pulled him closer. Alec practically attacked him, leaving no distance between them and not allowing Magnus to pull away for anything. They could breathe later. He pushed the warlock back until he was laying on the couch, never detaching their lips.
Alec reached for the buttons on Magnus' coat and only pulled back a few inches to look at his beautiful cat eyes. He asked his boyfriend a silent question and when Magnus nodded, Alec dove right back in.
Hours later Magnus woke up next to his sleeping boyfriend. Oh, how he would miss this. He would give practically anything to stay here with Alec, but he couldn't. He made the decision and now he had to live with it.
He quietly unwrapped himself from Alec's arms and snapped his clothes back onto himself. He walked out onto the balcony. It had still been night when Alec had woken up and now the sun was up. Magnus didn't know what was taking his father so long.
Probably enjoying the show, he thought bitterly. Demons always loved feeding on emotions, especially the bad ones. Rage, fear, and grief were a demon's favorites to feed on. Magnus stood on the balcony, losing himself in his own thoughts.
"Didn't think you were the type to try and sneak away the next morning." Magnus didn't jump when Alec spoke, or when he felt arms wrap around him from behind and a head on his shoulder.
"It's my loft. Why should I leave?" Magnus joked back at him.
"I thought you had left," Alec admitted quietly. Magnus didn't have anything to say to that. He wished he could say he wouldn't leave without a final goodbye, but he'd be lying. If his father had summoned him, he wouldn't have woken Alec. Maybe it was selfish, but it would be much easier to leave that way.
They simply stood outside on the balcony for a while. Enjoying each other's company and the noise of Brooklyn. While Alec would be the thing he'd miss the most, he would miss a lot of other things, like the sounds of Brooklyn. He'd also miss Cat and Raphael, and he'd miss watching Madzie grow up. Hell, he'd even miss a lot of the Shadowhunters.
Magnus couldn't hold back a small chuckle. Missing Shadowhunters was not something he thought would ever happen since William Herondale.
"What's funny?" Alec asked softly. Magnus shook his head. It was better not to say anything. If he did, Alec would deny that he was leaving, and they'd fight again. "Magnus I-"
Whatever Alec wanted to say was cut off by a noise behind him. Magnus' breath caught in his throat at the familiar sound of a portal. He wanted more time, needed it, but apparently his father was done having his fun. Alec however, wasn't willing to let go. He squeezed Magnus tighter, almost to the point where he couldn't breathe.
"Alexander-"
"No," Alec said firmly. "I already told you that I'm not letting you go. I'll pay whatever his price is."
"And I already told you that I won't let you do that," Magnus somehow was able to turn around in Alec's arms, and then immediately wished that he hadn't. Alec looked so broken as he stared back at Magnus, and tears were stinging his beautiful hazel eyes, ready to fall at any time.
"Magnus please," Alec begged. "Please don't go. I'll do anything, just don't go." Tears were stinging Magnus' own eyes has he cupped his lover's cheek.
"I wish I didn't have to, angel. I wish I didn't, but I do." He kissed him hard and passionately, trying his best to put every ounce of love that he could into their last kiss. Magnus breathed deeply as he pulled away. "Alec promise me, promise me that you will try to move on. Promise me that you won't try to get me back." Alec kept shaking his head as Magnus talked. "Alexander please, it will make everything so much easier if I know that you're happy. Please, for me, be happy, move on." Alec kept shaking his head, refusing to entertain the idea. "Alexander please. I'm not ever coming back. Not while you're alive. I won't be back. Please just try, promise me you will try." The words hurt so much to say, but Alec had to hear them, had to know they were true.
"I won't wait much longer, my son," a dark, familiar voice said from the other side of the portal. Alec shivered and held onto Magnus tighter, shaking his head as he did so.
"Alexander you have to let me go."
"Let me go with you," Alec said quickly. He seemed shocked by own words, like he didn't mean to say them, but then decided to go with it anyways. "I'll go with you. I'll go to Edom and we can still be together."
Magnus was horrified by the thought. "No! Alexander, absolutely not! A mortal could never survive in Edom, and even if you could you would only be tortured by my father."
"There could be no worse torture than this!" Alec yelled.
"What about watching the people you love die over and over again, and you can do nothing about it? What about watching your mother, Max, Izzy, and Jace die over and over again Alexander, watching me die?" Alec stood frozen, and Magnus knew that he had won that argument. Alec would never go to Edom, not if he had anything to say about it.
He tried to break free of Alec's grip, but the Shadowhunter still held on tight. "No. If I can't go with you then I'm not letting you go."
"Alexander please," Magnus begged. "Stop making this harder than it already is." When Alec still wouldn't budge Magnus had to use his last resort. He hated to do it, but there was no other way and he could tell his father was done waiting. He summoned magic to his fingertips, and as gently as he could, he pushed Alec away from him.
Alec held as tight as he could, but Magnus' magic forced him to let go. He looked at Magnus with wide, begging eyes, but Magnus refused to look at him. Instead he kept his gaze clear on the portal. Alec fought against him, but Magnus was stronger. He walked past Alec and in front of the portal.
At the last second, he turned back to look at his beautiful Alexander one last time. His angel stopped trying to control his tears and let them fall from his eyes. "If you'd like, you can have the loft. I should have let you move in before."
"No!" Alec yelled, fighting with everything he had. "I'm going to bring you back Magnus. I promise you I'm going to get you back," he cried out. Magnus turned back to the portal.
"Don't," he said before stepping into the portal, leaving his world behind.
When he landed he was back in the red desert that was Edom, and right in front of him stood the man in which all his nightmares came from, his cat eyes shining proudly.
"Welcome home, my son."
I really made myself cry with this one. I've never done that with my own fanfics before. Please don't hate me for all the angst. I really don't where it's all coming from, but my story ideas just seem to be getting more and more angsty. I promise to make it better though! I hate sad endings so, find relief in that. Let me know what you thought!
So, I wrote this a few weeks ago and was waiting until I wrote more to post it, but some things have happened in that time. As you should know the show has been cancelled. However, many fans including myself refuse to give up. We've trended #SaveShadowhunters, reaching millions of tweets, as well as others in multiple countries. We started a petition that has gained over 90,000 signatures and we've raised thousands of dollars for an LGBTQ charity and our own to buy something big to convince networks to save the show.
We've also sent emails, calls, and chats to various networks over why we want the show to be saved. From the times of 11-noon, 2-3, and 7-8 EST, Monday-Saturday, we have what are called power hours that encourage fans of the show to tweet as much as they can and get our hashtags trending. If you are interested in being part of the fight I encourage you to start on Twitter. Follow ShumdarioNews, baneandlewis, or BasicShadowStuf. These pages should give you more information about the topic and who you can contact to try and save the show.
Please don't give up hope. Many fans are fighting so hard and we truly believe that this show can be saved. This show should be saved. I have never seen such a passionate fandom and I am proud to be part of it. This fandom was able to unite in a matter of minutes to try and save our show and many won't stop until it is done. Please help us and join the fight.
Thank you! #SaveShadowhunters