GuYs Unite
It was a Normal day at the Guy Mansion. Riker Had to chase a few guys down for setting their Boyfriends on fire. Ofcourse their Boyfriends loved it. But it was unacceptable. "Rikers beard must be weighing him down ir something hes so slow!" Veronica Fletcher shouted to a bunch of other fleeing girls.
Tuvok and T'pau watched the ruckus from a distant hilltop. "From here they look to be a bunch of Teletubbies with overactive Pon Farr." Tuvok stated with absolutley no emotion. "If i calculate and use my Logic correctly their colored shirts make them appear teletubbie like." T'pau Replied just as emotionless.
"Your Logic is never flawed." Tuvok said turning to T'pau. " Nor is yours."
"Pon Farr."
"Pon Farr."
They gazed into eachothers eyes. Soon after that they were rolling down the hill with a mental looking Charles Tucker laughing Histarically behind them.
Meanwhile the Doctor sat in his room humming Opera. prety soon tho he broke full out singing and Riker had to come up there...anyway. The Doctor just knew he was ridiculously awesome at opera. While he was gloating he heard the hum of a transporter, before he knew it he was locked in a small room with 3 other guys and a couple of bunks.
"Whats going on, where am I?"The Doctor said looking around at the confined space they were all in.
"We don't know." Doctor Jarem Kaz said looking quite bored.
"So we all just appeared here?" The Doctor asked more persistantly.
"Well that's how it might of happened to you, i was acually dragged here against my will kicking and screaming by masked old people." Jarem answered.
"How do you know it was old people?"
"They smelled old..."
They all just stared at eachother for a moment. The Doctor decided to try again with another question.
"Did anybody here get transported in also?"
Doctor Simon Tarses was the only one to raise his hand He must of felt awkward because he put it right back down again.
The Doctor then glared at Doctor Julian Bashir.
"How did you get here?"
"Oh i drove here."He answered with a smile. Everyone gave Julian an odd look.
"you Drove here?" Tarses asked finally.
"Yup"
"Cool."
Julian just smiled back.
"You couldnt of drove here Julian, i mean my How i got here story was fake but you made it obvious!"Jarem yelled at him.
The Doctor glared at Julian then did a double take. " Wait your story was fake?" He turned to glare at Jarem.
"NO!" Jarem Shouted Quickly.
The Doctor decided not to hurt his holographic brain trying to solve these people. So he got up and tried FORCE! He grabbed Julian Shook him violently. "AHH your being violent thats against my nature!"
"Look I have a bunch of Opera sitting at home that needs my Beautiful Smexy Voice to help it fulfill its musical destiny! So to get back home and make my opera sound Great i need to know how you got here!"
Silence filled the room. 2 days passed before they realized the doctor shook Julian to DEATH.
"Ooohhh my-"
"Shut up Simon! i can handle this"The doctor interupted
"Atleast were in a room full of Doctors, thats always a good thing." Jarem said standing in horror over a dead Julian.
The Doctor kneeled next to julian. " Move Jarem i need Space for what im about to do."
"But he needs mouth to mouth! im an eXPERT i can DO it BAHH." Jarem screeched as he got dragged away by Tarses
The doctor got ready for his epic save the day move. " I command a Revive!"
Julian snapped awake.
"Woah."
"Hmmmm, i have my ways :)" the doctor Gloated "Anywho, ANSWER MY QUESTION BASHIR!"
"OK,ok! It Was the Tarp i confess! It bribed me with certain items!soooo EVIL!"
The Doctor let go of Julian and sat on a bunk. " i dont beleive you." He didnt even want to know what these certain items were.
"I believe him." Tarses put in earning a lecture from Jarem on the social graces of non inturruption.
"Forget how we all got here, we are gonna need a plan." The Doctor said getting into what he likes to call his awesome mode where hes all awesome and stuff.
"Yeh, were gonna have to Unite or something." Julian Said nonchalantly.
"Yes thats exactly it!" The Doctor hopped up in exitment.
"Really? but i was just theorizing."
"Well your theorizing is Great!"
"But uniting isn't that good of an idea, how is uniting gonna help if were already united in this room together, I would expect things to get worse uniting even more and i heard that uniting too much causes the brain to sense damage causing itself to..." Julian cut himself off because nobody seemed to be listening to the important facts he was stating. The Doctor and Tarses were busy over there what looked to be uniting. " Is Anyone Listening to me?" Julian asked not expecting an answer.
"Yes." Jarem Replied walking over next to Julian. " were you going to say, causing itself to A Be Destroyed, B Blow up A Self-Terminate, D Shimmy, E Weeve a basket or F Unite?." He asked.
"F Unite." Julian replied gloating.
"Then i disagree with your whole rant." Jarem looked unsatisfied.
Julian Stopped Gloating. " Why! what would you have said!" Julian was ready to go all crazy defensive on this guy.
"D causing itself to shimmy"
"But they all mean the same thing!"Julian yelled angrily.
"Yeah but D sounds cooler and makes way more sense.
That was the last thing Jarem said before Julian attacked.
It took about FOREVER for the Doc and Simon to realize that the other 2 were dramatically, fatally fistfighting. It took them even longer to pry them off each other and even longer still for the Doctor to get done his gloat about how being a hologram is usfuler than not being one at times like these. Then 20 more minutes for Tarses to correct the doctors grammer. Then about another Half of a half light-year minute thing to stop the next fight that broke out.
Finally the Doctor said that if they were gonna unite theyd better do it now before they kill each other. It then took about 5 days and 23.7900 (drop the zeros) nanoseconds for Julian to say how much he disaproves of violence and that he has never ,will never, wont ever, ever wont,not did and will not never ever do anything violent. That earned him one of Jarems Best Glares ... and a slap. "BAHH VIOLENCE" julian fainted.
They all made up an awesome non-violent handshake and chant for uniting. they were all so proud of themselves. Noone could beat the Doctors gloat tho.
"Doctors Unite!" They all said in unison. "DOCtors uni... oh sorry i thought."
"No,just No."
The Doctor sighed lets try this again and, he glared at tarses, maybe do as we agreed , saying it once.
They tried about 50,000 times
"Doctors Unite!" They all slapped hands.
"That kinda sounds corny if you think about it."Jarem said, obviously in deep thought about it.
"Well im not thinking about it."The doctor replied.
"Well you should think about it."Jarem shot back
"No i shouldnt."
"Yes you should"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"THINK ABOUT IT!"
"NEVAH!"
"I am." Julian piped up
The Doctor Face palmed