A/N- I wrote this earlier this year, hoping to use it for Royai Week. It didn't fit any of the prompts, so I am posting it as a pre-Royai Week bonus fic.

Every Day's a Holiday

Unusually, it was Falman's fault. Maybe fault was too strong a word. His initial pronouncement didn't cause any worse disruption than, say, finding a spider in the office. A spider was worth about two hours of slacking. Falman mentioned that it was Donut Day. Of course, Breda insisted that they celebrate, not that anyone was against it, and he volunteered to go on the donut run. Hawkeye nixed that, and Fuery was sent. It was a futile measure. No one did any work until after the donuts arrived and were eaten.

Hawkeye sighed with relief when the men got back to work, but the usually innocent Falman had something to add. This one was a doozy, because it ended up having a lingering effect. Falman expanded his previous announcement by stating that every day was a holiday. Unbeknownst to them, apparently there were hundreds of semi-official made up holidays. Since then, Lieutenant Hawkeye had endured the idiot children she worked with celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day (on which Roy wore an eyepatch, even though it wasn't Dress Like a Pirate Day) and Opposite Day. (She had argued that being opposite meant that they would work, but they said that being opposite meant that they didn't follow her instructions.) Hayate had reluctantly cooperated with Fuery and the Colonel on Dress Up Your Pet Day. That was a bit of a surprise. She had expected to see Hayate in uniform, but they had dressed him as Alphonse Elric. (It was probably the Colonel's idea, Fuery's blueprints, and the Colonel's alchemical skills. The dog actually looked pretty cute.) She had drawn the line at Bubble Bath Day. One would have thought that that wouldn't be an issue, but there were two bathtubs at headquarters and Havoc had discussed it with a couple of female soldiers (other than Hawkeye.) She celebrated later that evening, as did the Colon...

The whole thing did exasperate her, but, clandestinely, she sort of enjoyed it. Not the excuses to shirk work, but the camaraderie. As close knit as they were, they sometimes needed a lift.

Then there was a lull. Apparently none of the men wanted to celebrate Panic Day or Dentist's Day. She kind of missed the silliness. But, then she had an idea for her own special holiday. Not exactly private. There was one person she needed to share it with.

She slipped the folder under Mustang's first two cases for the day. He usually made it through at least three cases without having to check the window, rearrange some books, or set something on fire. Of course, that day was different. He got called to a meeting immediately on arrival, and Havoc had decided to see if any of the Colonel's work looked interesting. She was none too cool in intervening. She suspected that Jean suspected that something was up.

Mustang returned a little before lunch, and he found a nice warm platter waiting for him. The others were dismissed for lunch, Havoc eyeing them on the way out. Hawkeye made it clear that the boss would be getting some work done. She had cut up his chicken so that he could concentrate on his files while he ate.

As she had predicted, he managed to focus on the first two cases, though with a lot of accompanying grumbling, and he then proceeded to open the third file. There was silence. He picked up the sheet in the file and examined it closely. The sheet of paper had three parallel two inch cuts at the bottom. Four coupons were meant to be torn off like on the papers pinned to the bulletin boards advertising goods to sell or the search for a roommate.

"I wasn't aware of this particular holiday, Lieutenant, but I heartily approve of it." He began to tear one strip off, but she warned, "Be sure to read the conditions and limitations first."

He read aloud. "These coupons may only be used on Kiss a Colonel Day, today, June 11 as well as days of the week ending in "y". No rain checks. They are non-transferable. They may only be redeemed by the designated recipient. They may not be redeemed in public or at any location at Military Headquarters including but not limited to the inner office, the records room, and the supply closet. This offer is predicated on the condition that the said Colonel, hereafter referred to as the kissee, completes his paperwork by a reasonable hour as determined by the Lieutenant, hereafter known as the kisser." He looked up from the sheet into her brown eyes.

"Any attempt to bypass the conditions and limitations will result in total disqualification, Sir."

"Hmm. I would hate to see that happen. I do not want to be disqualified for this offer." He read further: "The kisser has the right to determine what type of kisses the kissee receives, but the kissee is permitted to make suggestions. The kisser is not responsible for any damage caused by any activities that may ensue from the kisses." He paused thoughtfully. "Damage, Lieutenant? I'm trying to imagine what might ensue."

"The kisser has great respect for the kissee's imagination, Sir."

"Well, Lieutenant, I'd better get to work. It's nearly 1300."

"That would be a good idea, Sir."

The team probably discussed the Colonel's diligent work ethic where they couldn't be overheard.

They had their covert methods, and Roy arrived at Riza's apartment a few minutes after she had. The lighting was low and a record was on the Victrola. Riza appeared from her bedroom dressed in a short silk robe over a camisole and panties. Roy would have ripped his jacket off if he wouldn't have had to sew the buttons back on. He opened his briefcase and began to rifle through it.

"Damn. I thought that I put that file on top. How could I misplace such an important folder?" His full attention was on its contents now.

Riza grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "Lucky for you, Sir, I happen to have a copy of the offer.

This is one of the few times that a facsimile may be used instead of the original."

Meanwhile, he had found the original and waved it. "Does this mean that I can redeem eight kisses?

"There is no limit to the number of times the offer may be redeemed. The coupons may even be reused," she whispered right before she fulfilled the first coupon.

A/N- Thanks for reading. Enjoy Royai Week 2018!