Warnings: slight language. Do enjoy.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
If I should die before I wake It's 'cause you took my breath away
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew Right off the ground to float to you There's no gravity to hold me down for real
Sakura is a glass-half-empty kind of girl. She's a die hard pessimist, something she's become from years of demanding, exhausting physical and psychological training, having hands stained with the blood of comrades (the ones she couldn't save--damn the human limitations that can't pull loved ones back from brink of death) and enemies alike.
As a medical ninja, she's taught to look at the bad before the good. She thinks this gives her a greater perspective on life, and if it somehow leaves her attitude lacking...cheer, well then dammit, too bad. This life wasn't going to hand its rewards (as if there were really any of those) to her, and if she wanted to get anywhere, she was going to have to roll up her sleeves and dig the way herself.
So when Kakashi shows up at her door with a beautiful white-and-pink orchid in a clay vase, ("because it reminded me of you," he says, like it's no big deal and the simplest thing in the world), his eye creased and his masked lips pulled into a smile, something inside Sakura--something tall and strong and previously impenetrable--trembles.
His hand falls on her shoulder, lingering there for just a split moment before he waves in farewell, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
Sakura's skin is still hot from his finger tips, and even though she's going to be eighteen on her next birthday, she feels like her innocent, twelve-year-old self who has just discovered that Kakashi-sensei was stronger then Sasuke ever could be.
She dreams of the night she turned seventeen, months ago now. They were on a mission, of course. Most of their birthdays took place in action, and after a while, you simply overlooked them. Besides, for a ninja, birthdays were nothing more then another passing day.
It's one AM and she's on watch. The camp is quiet, and she can see Naruto and Sai stretched out in their sleeping bags. Naruto is sprawled and drooling, Sai in one, still position, his ears perked, ready even in sleep to jump at the slightest sound.
She pulls her knees up to her chest, careful to keep steady, so as not to shake the tree branch supporting her weight. Another year down, another one filled with pain and what-ifs. Not for herself, because of the field she's chosen self has little importance. But those who were killed, those who were a link in the chain she used to consider invincible. She doubts if she'll ever be strong enough to save them all, but she'd decided, when her friends came back, some half-dead, some with emotional scars deeper than those on their outer body all those years ago chasing after an elusive, selfish Sasuke, that she wouldn't stop trying to become the strongest kunoichi possible. She would surpass even Tsunade someday--or so said those who witnessed her fighting and medical skills alike.
There's the slightest shift on the branch, and if she hadn't been the one on watch, the one whose observations could save or be the end of her team, Sakura probably wouldn't have noticed it. She is ready to put the kunai in her hand to the throat of the intruder, when she senses Kakashi's chakra.
Dammit. One-upped again, she thinks, for not having known it was him sooner.
He smirks at her, one of his gloved hands covering hers. "I want to show you something." He said quietly, firmly enveloping her hand.
"I'm on watch." She says, gesturing around them.
"I've got Pakkun already on it." Kakashi says, and before she can even think about protesting, Kakashi starts to run, pulling her along with him.
She'd deny, if ever asked, that holding onto Kakashi was the first time she's ever held onto something real.
"Late again." It's the next morning--her dream had been interrupted by the ridiculous, vengeful blaring of her alarm clock.
Kakashi shrugs. "It wasn't my fault. You see, while on my way here--"
"Save it." Sakura slams down a stack of paperwork on her desk. "The Hokage is otherwise engaged right now, so you're just going to have to wait on her."
Kakashi stands up from the chair, his face a grimace of protest. "I'm a jounin, with my own missions and my own new genin squad to train, I can't just sit here and--" He stops at the very unconcerned look on Sakura's face.
"You see that clock?" Sakura points above Kakashi's head.
He nods, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "It's noon. That means lunch. So, since you refused to be on time to your appointment with the Hokage--who has more on her plate than an insufferable jounin with no concept of time--you get to sit there and watch while I eat my lunch. You know," She says, her finger on her chin, "it'd be more amusing if you were tied to a post." Sakura pulls out a brown bag. It's nothing exciting, the usual rice balls and array of chicken and vegetables, but Kakashi's face is so pathetic as he watches her unpack her food that you'd think she was feasting off fillet mignon and champagne.
She rolls her eyes, because if she ever had a soft spot, it would be for Kakashi (though she'll go to her grave swearing otherwise) and offers him a rice ball.
"Say, Sakura, isn't that the flower I gave you yesterday?"
Sakura hastily stuffs the vase under her desk. When her eyes meet Kakashi's, she feels like she's drowning.
The dream, again. It's seamless, picking up where her previous one ended.
They stop at a small clearing, and Sakura is speechless at what she sees. A blanket spread out, a picnic basket on top of it. It'd be romantic if Sakura wasn't sure somebody like Kakashi--somebody with a mind as strong as his heart, somebody with real talent and a true leader--could never feel anything beyond the platonic realm for her.
"I know it's a little late," Kakashi says, leading Sakura to the blanket, "but...I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about your birthday."
Sakura blinks. "That's...I mean, it's really...nice." Something she never thought she would say about her former sensei, but it's the truth. And Sakura can't deny how wonderful it is to having something done for her. She's never had that.
Kakashi holds her hand a little tighter as her emotions creep into that last word, and he thinks it isn't such a bad thing to be a nice guy. Certainly nobody has ever referred to him that way, and it's refreshing and new in a way that only Sakura could make it be.
"I know how much you like dessert." Kakashi gently releases Sakura's hand (her stomach drops at the loss of his grip, and she thinks he notices the downcast look pass over her eyes, but he doesn't mention it) and flips open the basket to reveal a small cake. It's chocolate, covered in white fondant that sparkles in the moonlight, cherry blossom branches drawn in brown and pink frosting bordering the entirety of the cake.
Sakura wants to laugh; only he could be so tragically cliche as to get her this, but she's genuinely touched and sinks down to her knees. She looks up at Kakashi, not caring that her eyes are swimming with very apparent tears.
Effing. Alarm. Sakura slams the power button off, cringing when she hears the plastic give way to her strength. Ah, well. Now she had an excuse to sleep in...as if Tsunade would understand that. The Hokage may well be lenient with somebody like Kakashi, but as her apprentice, there is a strict no-tolerance policy.
But her mood lightens as she starts heating the pan to fry a few eggs, her usual breakfast. She's just putting the carton away in the fridge when there's a knock on her door. She looks at the door like it personally is trying to wreck her morning, and is surprised that she isn't actually surprised to see Kakashi standing there.
"Yo." He says, lifting his hand.
"Hello," Sakura says cautiously, not sure what he's doing here. The fact that he's awake before eight and looking quite chipper is very suspicious.
"Right. Well, I just thought I'd pop over and say hi...I was in the neighborhood."
Sakura cocks an eyebrow. "Kakashi-sensei, you live on the other side of town." She knows this because she chose the location of her apartment for this very reason. If he lived close to her...well, she may not be able to stop herself from trying to see him every day.
It's sad and even, as Ino heartily agrees, a little pathetic that she's fallen--slowly, but fallen nonetheless--for Hatake Kakashi, but really, she takes no blame for that. It is, after all, his fault. After their past together...missions and the student-teacher relationship they held for years, Sakura just can't bring herself to admit to him how she feels. And finally, after they'd returned from that mission that seemed so long ago (she keeps a piece of the cake in her freezer; she'd had nothing short of an emotional breakdown when Ino had found it and demanded to know what it was all about) and life went back to seemingly normal with Kakashi, she'd built the wall back up, the wall that she kept sturdy and wide between her and other people, he just had to do something totally perfect like bringing her a flower.
It was a small gesture, really, one that would be almost unnoticeable to anybody else, but it was like Kakashi had found the one crack in Sakura's wall and with very minimal effort (such was his way, though) had sent it crumbling down around her.
"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura begins, but Kakashi raises a finger in the air.
"Just Kakashi, remember? We're equals now. Which reminds me, congratulations on your promotion to jounin."
Sakura flushes. The promotion had just gone through yesterday evening, and though Sakura was proud that Tsunade recognized her abilities enough to make a jounin, it didn't matter all that much to her. Except, really, where Kakashi was concerned. Now that she was no longer his subordinate, if anything ever did happen, it would not have to include a public lynching.
"Erm, yes, Kakashi. Would you like some breakfast?" Sakura's eyes are wide, wishing, like a child's while shaking a present under the Christmas tree, and though she tries to conceal it, she always is an open book to the man in front of her.
Kakashi smiles, and Sakura's breath stops short. "Thank you, Sakura. I'd love to."
As he passes her through the doorway Sakura closes her eyes for half a second, letting his scent wash over her.
"Sakura! In my office, now. Shizune, bring the damn sake." Tsunade has been in a rage since Sakura showed up this morning. Some dispute or other with another village has made her into a snarling beast, but Sakura is used to this and she returns Shizune's small, sympathetic smile as they make their way into the Hokage's office.
Tsunade takes the bottle out of Shizune's hands, knocking back a deep swallow before spitting it out on the floor, sputtering. "What the hell is this?" She demands, holding the bottle away from her like it was poison.
Shizune rolls her eyes. "It's water, Lady Tsunade. You know, the stuff your body needs to survive."
Tsuande glares but instead of throwing the bottle against the wall and smashing it to a million pieces (which Sakura can tell her Master really wants to do) she sets it on the edge of her desk. "Whatever. I'll deal with you later." She says to Shizune, who looks thoroughly unabashed. "But I'm dealing with you now." Tsuande says, turning to Sakura.
"Me?" Sakura repeats, surprised.
"Yes. When I appointed you a jounin it wasn't so you could--could gallivant around! It's a serious position in our village and one that should never be taken lightly. If I had known that your motive all along had been a romantic one, I would have taken the promotion slip with me to my grave."
Sakura is bewildered. Sure, the one perk that she could see about being a jounin was that she would really be on equal footing with Kakashi, but she hadn't been gallivanting around with him! And if she ever did, she would make damn sure that their relationship stayed between them. It was nobody else's business what she did with her personal life!
"Hokage-sama--" Sakura starts, but Tsuande holds up a silencing hand.
"Oh no, I don't want to hear from you yet. I mean really, Sakura! Encouraging a man of his age!"
"Look shishou, if you're talking about Kakashi--"
"Of course I am!" Tsuande screams, swiping the bottle of water off her desk an into the garbage can. "The reports I'm getting! First from Genma, that he's lost his strip-club buddy. Couldn't give two shits about that, I mean the less time my shinobi spend in clubs the better, but when Gemna told me why...and then I bring your teammates in for questioning!"
"Wait, Naruto and Sai said that I, that we..."
"Oh please, Naruto was as clueless as ever! But when Sai and Genma, the idiots, tell me that Kakashi is in love with you,"
"EH?" Sakura screeches, sure she's heard wrong.
Tsunade pauses, a look of confusion flitting across her face. "Would you please tell me what's going on here?"
Sakura shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. "I think they have it mixed up," She says after a moment. "Sai and Genma. About the love thing. Kakashi-sensei...I mean Kakashi...he doesn't...he wouldn't..."
"But you do?"
Sakura hesitates, then nods slowly. "But I swear I haven't done anything to encourage him! I mean, I just became a jounin and I wouldn't use that to do something like that, I mean I wouldn't initiate anything because like I said, Kakashi doesn't feel the same."
"So it's not true, then, that you made breakfast for Kakashi this morning? We all know the only reason you make breakfast for somebody is because of the night before. And nobody saw him around the usual hangouts last night."
Sakura looks at Tsunade blankly. "Who told you that?"
"I have my sources." She says vaguely, and Sakura knows she'll never find the squealing culprit. If she didn't know that Ino was off with Asuma and Chouji on a mission, she would already be plotting ways to kill her dumb ass, loud-mouthed friend.
"But my Lady, if Sakura says that nothing is going on--" Shizune breaks in, but Tsuande rolls her eyes.
"Please, Shizune. When somebody like Genma tells me that his friend is in love, I'm going to believe it. Genma may be a hormonal-driven moron, but if there's one thing he knows, it's his friends. And I trust Sai, too. It isn't in the nature of an ANBU to lie about something he would deem so trivial."
Comprehension was dawning on Sakura, like the Summer sun warming her skin. If that was true...what Genma and Sai said...then the cake, the flower...the surprise visit...these were really all out of character for Kakashi, yes, she knew that...but why? Why her? This kind of thing just didn't happen to her. Ino, yes. She had more men on her plate then she could handle. Even Hinata had the Kazekage practically grovelling after her. But they were those types of girls. Beautiful and funny, and when Hinata comes out of her shell, she was instantly likable.
But Sakura? She is distant, described as cold, a work-a-holic. Somebody who puts their career before anything else. She keeps everybody at arm's length, not only for their safety, but for her own.
And...that made her exactly like Kakashi.
Sakura gave a huge swallow.
Tsunade sighs. "Alright alright. This isn't something to fly off the handle about. Since you are a jounin and so is he, I'm not going to forbid this. You're going to be eighteen and that's long since past the age of adulthood in this village. Just keep in mind that if he gets you pregnant and I lose the best apprentice I've ever had, I will not think twice about castrating him and exiling him from this village--if I don't kill him first." Tsunade waves her hand dismissively, excusing her, and Sakura turns, walking out of the office with legs like lead.
She turns to go to her desk, but an arm thrusts out, stopping her. She looks up, her heart pounding as one coal eye looks back at her.
"So," he says, folding his arms, "I've heard our Hokage was in quite a mood this morning."
Sakura can only nod mutely.
"And that the reason seems to be tied up with me...and you..."
Sakura nods again.
"And?"
Sakura takes a deep, steadying breath. "Tsunade thinks you love me. And..." Sakura squeezes her eyes shut for a second, before settling on staring at his headband. If she looks him directly in the eye while she said what she needs to, she might just combust.
"She knows that I love you. I guess Genma and Sai agree..."
"Ah."
Sakura raises an eyebrow. " 'Ah'? That's all you can say?"
He shrugs. "I could take you to lunch, if you wanted. But I usually expect something in return on dates." He moves closer to Sakura, his hands outstretched. His palms make contact with her waist, and it's all Sakura can do to not melt right then and there.
"What kind of something?" Sakura asks, not really caring at this point. Pessimist or not, this is something she never thought she'd get the chance to have. It makes her...well, damn her to Suna and back if this didn't make her just a little hopeful. It was just like Kakashi to turn her entire philosophy on life upside down.
"Oh...nothing you'd object to, I'm sure." Kakashi says, his voice low and suggestive and Sakura shudders as he drags one hand up her spine, then back down again.
A door slams open behind them, and Tsunade emerges. For all their combined speed, neither Kakashi nor Sakura is fast enough for the Hokage's discerning eyes. She stops in the hall, and Sakura is sure her eye is twitching.
"Hakate!" She yells, raising a fist. "This is an office! A place of professionalism! Do not go around--" Tsunade pauses, trying to find a word atrocious enough for what she was seeing, "molesting my staff! GET OUT!"
Kakashi doesn't need telling twice. He slips his hand into Sakura's and pulls her out of the office.
Temari glares at Shikamaru, tempted to beat him over the head with her fan. Shika just went on smiling that lazy smile at the backs of Kakashi and Sakura, who are walking slowly down the street, hands intertwined. As they'd come out of the building, Temari and Shikamaru had caught parts of their conversation, words like "not willing to share" and "at least one date a week". They only fuel Shika's smile.
"You are positively infuriating." Temari says, slapping over a fistful of money to her boyfriend.
Shika shrugs, pocketing the money. "I told you babe, when you bet me, be prepared to lose." He snakes his hand around Temari's neck, pulling her to him so he can kiss her.
Temari resists at first, but hell, it isn't that bad. She does love this maniacal genuis. Maybe next she'll bet that Shikamaru couldn't get TenTen and Neji together...after all, it was just as likely that they were in as much love as Kakashi and Sakura were.
Really, she never minds losing to Shika. The make-up sex that invariably follows the fight when she loses is amazing.
Lyrics are from Breathe With No Air by Jordan Sparks. Amazing song, especially when done by the Glee kids. As ever, feedback is appreciated.