A one-shot focusing on Tala's feelings on being pushed aside when Kai rejoins the Demolition Boys in season 1. No longer Boris Balkov's favoured beyblader, he reflects as he finds Boris watching Kai training with Black Dranzer.
Disclaimer: 'Beyblade' and 'G-Revolution' and all associated characters and names are property of © Aoki Takao · BB3Project, TV Tokyo, licensed by d-rights Inc. I do not own Beyblade in any way and in writing this fiction I am not making a single cent/penny/any other form of currency. So don't sue. Please.
Numb
By AngeLhearteD
He had had enough. Even training was failing to take his mind off it. No-one was around to even make sure he was training. It was like he didn't matter anymore. It was like he was no longer team captain, no longer the responsible one.
Things had changed so suddenly, so quickly. One moment Tala was number one, the best beyblader in the Abbey, the next he was just second rate to some spoilt rich kid who had appeared out of the blue, literally.
At first, he thought he wouldn't let it bother him. But a week had passed and Tala Ivanov was not patient by nature. He had now had enough and was angry at the person who had taken his place, and even angrier at the man who had pushed him aside as if he didn't matter. As if he didn't mean a thing.
His teacher, Boris Balkov. It was like the man chose when Tala mattered, and when he didn't. The red-haired youth hadn't seen the purple-haired trainer for days now. When he did see him, the man acted as if he wasn't there. A nod at the most, and a 'keep practicing', but nothing more. It was the same with the rest of Tala's team-mates. Bryan, Spencer and Ian had also been forgotten. Bryan was even out of the team, to make way for the new addition, Kai Hiwatari. Bryan who had endured years of harsh training routines now had to step aside for someone who didn't train half as hard or as much.
Tala was angry for himself and on behalf of his team-mates. He walked out of the small training room he had been allocated and out into the dark, cold, stony tunnels of the Abbey. He was tired of being made to train alone. He was tired of trying when his efforts were not even being acknowledged.
He felt used. He always tried so hard, and all he asked in return was recognition. Was that too much? What made Kai so much better than him? Why was it Kai who could wield Black Dranzer? The dark beyblade was off-limits to everyone. What made Kai different? What made Kai special? He was arrogant, rude and had no sense of respect for Tala or the other Demolition Boys. He didn't even respect Boris. And he could get away with it all, because he was Lord Voltaire's grandson.
What did Boris want from him now? Why was he even here if Kai was the one who was battling all their matches and winning?
Am I just back up now? In case Kai gets tired? Am I just a second option now? Must I walk in his shadow from now on? Is this what I've been reduced to? All those years of hard learned discipline, all those years of hard work, what were they for?
Taking a turn, he walked along until he reached a pair of large double doors. Access to this room was strictly forbidden. Tala knew why. Inside, the 'great' Kai was training and was not allowed to be disturbed. Two guards looked at Tala, waiting to see what he wanted. Tala didn't try to pass them.
He knew the halls of the Abbey like the back of his hand and knew another, less obvious way in. Looking to his left, he walked away from the doors until he reached some stairs. He walked up and passed several more guards who did not trouble him. He finally reached another door and looked around, making sure no-one else was around. Quietly, he twisted the knob and slipped into the room, closing the door carefully behind him.
Inside, the lights were dim. The room was huge, large enough to accommodate an entire team's training routine. But only one person was training. A two-toned blue-haired boy stood by a beydish, spinning his black beyblade.
Some distance away stood a purple haired man. He watched the boy as he practiced moves.
Tala's hands clenched into fists. It was Boris.
Making sure to keep well in the safety of the shadows, Tala knelt by the railings that overlooked the room below and watched, trying to see, trying to understand why Kai was favoured over him, why Kai was so important. Was he, Tala, not good enough? Did he not have some skill and Kai had it all? Was he lacking in some department?
Maybe he should have tried harder, practiced harder and pushed himself harder. Now he felt like his position was threatened. He was still team captain but he felt threatened by this Kai. Kai, who had not stuck around, Kai who had left the Abbey so many years earlier, had vanished so suddenly without a trace. Now he was back all of a sudden and he had all the power by default? It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Was Tala the only one who felt this way? Maybe he was thinking too much into it. But he knew he wasn't. His instincts were never wrong.
He felt like it was all a bad mistake. That tomorrow morning, Kai would leave and go back to the team he left. He didn't feel comfortable around the blue-haired boy. Kai thought he was so much better and smarter and Tala knew it wasn't true. He was equally as smart. He was equally as able. Had he done something wrong? Is that what this was about? Did Boris find him unworthy of leading the team to victory?
He wondered what he lacked. He racked his mind for possible reasons why he was not number one anymore. He tried to think how he had disappointed Boris. But he couldn't think of anything.
Maybe he was just not strong enough. Maybe that's why Boris was now letting Kai do all the work, letting Kai take all the glory. Tala watched Kai as he trained. His moves were swift and precise. Despite his dislike of the aloof youth, Tala had to admit, he could blade.
He could beyblade very well. Even with Black Dranzer, the most unstable beyblade, the hardest beyblade to master, Kai made it look so easy. It was like…the blade was made for him…and Kai was destined to be its master, its wielder.
Tala gripped onto the railing, and rested his forehead against it, taking some comfort in the coolness of the metal.
As he watched the beyblade spin, his anger drained away and he suddenly felt nothing. An emptiness filled him as he thought of how easily Boris had pushed him and the others aside. How suddenly, and without reason or explanation.
Now every action he took, every move he made, he would feel like he was being judged. He had always been heavily monitored throughout the years, but now the feeling would be different, Tala just knew it. If he ever trained and Boris were to watch him, he'd feel so much more conscious of the moves he performed, rather than letting them come naturally.
He was no Kai. His style of blading was completely different. Yet it wasn't good enough. Why? The question echoed in his mind, over and over.
If he changed, if he tried to be more like Kai, would he be favoured again? Would Boris let him beyblade in front of the Russian crowds more? But that would mean losing his identity. His beyblading style was like his signature, his own personal mark. Was this the price he had to pay?
He didn't want to change how he was, who he was. He had gotten this far by staying true to himself, but it seemed like it was no longer enough. Things were changing, and not for the better, in his opinion. If Kai's abilities were the new criteria by which everyone else would be judged by, Tala wasn't sure he wanted to stick around.
Not that he had a choice…no-one left the Abbey, especially not someone like him. No-one left…but Kai had left, hadn't he? And on his return he had shot straight to the top.
Black Dranzer spun around and around the dish, moving so quickly it was a blur of black.
Tala's eyes shifted to Boris who stood with his arms folded and a small smile on his face.
'Very impressive, Kai, you're learning quickly.'
Kai didn't even look his way.
Tala blinked, frowning. Not only was he not the main beyblader anymore, he also felt like he was suffocating, forced to hold his tongue and just sit back and accept that Kai had taken his place. But he couldn't. Boris expected too much from him if he thought he'd just be happy to let Kai take over.
He wondered how Boris would take it if he, Bryan, Spencer and Ian spoke up, made their disapproval known. But that was the problem. Boris Balkov couldn't be disobeyed. He didn't tolerate disobedience. Tala and the rest of his team were more than aware of this.
Boris ruled the Abbey with an iron fist. He took orders from no-one except Voltaire Hiwatari who was his superior.
Even if I told him, he wouldn't care. I don't matter anymore. None of us do, only Kai does. Tala thought, closing his eyes briefly, wondering how it could have come to this.
What would become of him if this continued? Everything he was trained to be, everything he had meant to be, where did that all stand now? Kai hardly needed back up. He handled things perfectly and never became tired. Boris had pushed aside years of work on Tala's part. Years of work on Bryan, Spencer and Ian's. Had Kai worked for years too? Had Kai pushed himself as much as they had?
It just didn't make sense to him, in any way. Was there a point in worrying about it? Maybe things would work themselves out. Maybe he was just wasting his time.
He couldn't change anything now anyway. It wasn't like he could take Kai's place. Everything he would do now wouldn't be good enough, wouldn't be able to compare to Kai.
He didn't even know why he was here. Time was ticking but it didn't matter anymore. No-one cared whether he trained in his slots or not.
Tala opened his eyes to find Boris nodding.
'Keep up the impressive work young Kai, you have a big match ahead of you tomorrow. Now I will leave you in peace.'
Kai had a big match. Not the Demolition Boys. Kai was a one man team nobody could topple. Boris's words numbed Tala to his core. He was no longer needed.
He watched as Boris walked away and left the room, leaving Kai alone.
Tala looked away, leaning against the wall, folding his arms. The sound of Kai's beyblade scraping in the beydish was the only noise in the room.
There was no point in sitting here any longer.
It's not like this will change anything. I'll just keep training. Maybe I'll go find the others. At least I'm not in Bryan's shoes. He's been dropped altogether. I can't imagine how he must feel. Worse than me no doubt. He thought to himself.
However, a steel wrapped voice cut into his consideration, and it was full of scorn and mockery.
'You can come out from your little hiding place now, Tala.'
Tala blinked, and his deep blue eyes widened in surprise. How on earth did Kai know he was up here? He couldn't have spotted him; Tala had been so quiet in his entrance, so careful.
For a few moments he didn't move, didn't make a sound. But soon the spinning sound of the beyblade stopped and the room was plunged into deafening silence.
Until Kai broke it again.
'Or maybe you'd like for me to get the guards to escort you out.'
Tala gritted his teeth and stood up, blowing a strand of his flaming red hair out of his eyes. He stepped out of his treacherous hiding place and walked forward, placing his hands on the bars at the top of the railings, glaring down at the boy who was favoured over him.
Kai had his back to him, but he seemed to sense that Tala had come out; despite the fact the redhead hadn't made much noise. The two-tone haired boy turned and looked straight up at him.
Tala's curiosity got the better of him and he addressed the boy who stood on the ground below frostily.
'How did you know?'
Kai blinked. 'Hn. Unlike that goofball, I can see without goggles.'
Tala gritted his teeth. How dare he be so disrespectful to their teacher? But then his anger faded as he remembered that that very same teacher was the one who had pushed him and the rest of the Demolition Boys into the passenger seat. Kai was in the driving seat now. He was the one in control.
Tala didn't respond. He knew that there had to be a good reason why he was no longer the one blading. Black Dranzer was the most powerful beyblade and the fact that Kai could wield it so well only proved that he was a powerful blader. Tala hated to admit it, but it was the truth.
He couldn't wield Black Dranzer, despite how powerful and as skilled he was. If he was given the dark blade to control, he'd fail. There was no doubt about it.
Kai was still looking at him. Tala wondered why. But he averted his gaze and the uncomfortable silence dragged on. Kai didn't break it this time, and Tala could still the crimson gaze on him.
It was as if he was waiting for Tala to do something, or say something. The red-haired Russian figured Kai was waiting for him to make an exit. There was no reason for him to stay any longer. But he found himself wondering why Kai had left the Abbey in the first place, if his destiny had always been to become the master of Black Dranzer. He had known Kai in childhood, but he had never been quite sure why Kai had run away. It had happened so long ago. Tala had been eight when Kai had left. It was seven years later now and much had changed.
He wondered where Kai had gone, where he had been the entire time.
He wondered what kind of a life Kai had had since leaving here. Tala had been here since ever since he could remember, he didn't know what the outside world looked like. He never really thought about it either. He had always had an aim, a purpose to keep him going.
But that purpose was jumbled now and Tala wasn't so sure about his future anymore.
A thought crossed Tala's mind suddenly. What if…the reason Kai had left was because he had been a disappointment back then? Perhaps he had done something; perhaps something had happened that had forced him to leave. Something so bad he couldn't have stood the shame and blame and had had to go.
But what? And why don't I know about it? All I know was that an 'incident' happened, but no-one talks about it here. Why? He thought.
He looked back at Kai who was still watching him. Flatly, trying to hide his suspicion, Tala addressed him again.
'I used to know you, Kai. But you left. What happened?'
An expression flickered across Kai's face and he looked away. Tala knew he had asked the wrong question. Kai turned his back to him, and didn't reply.
He had turned from arrogance to silence, and this action spoke volumes to Tala, more than an answer probably would. If Kai had done something wrong, and was still so much 'better' in Boris's eyes, then what did that make Tala? Tala who had always followed orders?
Something had gone wrong. Kai must have left for serious reasons, and no reason at the Abbey was more serious than being a disappointment of some kind. Being a failure, in some way.
The realisation washed over Tala and things made much more sense all of a sudden. But in other ways, they made even less sense. A failure wouldn't be admitted back into the Abbey, much less to the top of the Demolition Boys' team. Tala had trained hard his entire life and had never 'failed' in the sense of the word, and now he was second best to someone who might have?
His mind became blank. All thought disappeared. All concerns were shut off, like a computer system suddenly shutting down. Kai was saying something, but Tala didn't hear it. He understood perfectly now. Everything made perfect sense. And the ironic thing was, the very same person he disliked and felt jealous of was the one who had enlightened him. He had Kai to thank, in many ways.
'…Tala.' Kai finished.
Tala blinked. He heard nothing. He felt nothing. He stared ahead at the old brick wall, blankly.
'Tala?' Kai's voice had changed slightly, and he had turned and now looked up at the red-head, confused at the lack of emotion and expression on Tala's face, and his sudden silence.
Was Kai talking? His presence was no longer felt. Tala looked down at him, eyes cold, distant. He knew Kai had asked him something, but he didn't know, or care what. Stepping back, and without a word, he turned his back to the two-tone haired boy and left the room, giving him the cold shoulder completely.
Giving him a taste of his own medicine.
He would be what Boris wanted him to be, for now. He would do as he was expected. He would be consistent. Because he knew his time would come again. Kai would not outlast him. Somehow, Tala knew this. Somehow, he knew Kai was not here permanently. He had left once before.
Who said he would not leave again?
Closing the door behind him, Tala walked away and down the dark halls, silently, a stealthy predator waiting for the right time and chance to reclaim a prize that had somehow managed to avoid him…for now.
Author's Note:
Well it's done. I hope that was in character and captured what Tala might have been feeling in terms of inner conflict. Please review for me, and tell me if you liked it or not. Thanks for reading.