"Kyoya, let's play hide the pepperoni!" Tamaki called
"Alright Tamaki", Kyoya set down his notebook and stood up. The guests started squealing excitedly as the hosts left.
"Do you have any penis butter?" Tamaki asked unzipping his trousers. Kyoya checked his bag for lube
"No", he sighed. He slapped his penis in anger.
"it's ok Kyoya, we'll use something else", Tamaki searched the room for something when he noticed a bag from the commoners market- Haruhi must have brought it. "Perfect!" He said reaching into the bag and bringing out the new lube.
"commoner's coffee?" Kyoya asked
"It's brilliant, isn't it?" Tamaki spinned round excitedly
"you can be the gold digger then, I'm not putting coffee on my peepee" Kyoya said pushing up his glasses.
"ok then, let's brew this stuff", Tamaki heated the drink and waited for it to cool a little. He pulled down his trousers and dipped his little friend into the drink.
"DJGIEUDITIOHUEYDIHO" Tamaki screamed- extracting his manhood from the coffee cup. But it got stuck at the top. Tamaki's willy had swollen from the heat and was now stuck in the coffee jar. "It won't come off!"
kyoya smiled amused, "Well Tamaki, you don't have much time- guests are out there waiting" and with that, mommy left.
"no!" Cried Tamaki desperately pulling at the coffee only to have it suction his manly-ness in deeper.
"Boss, what's taking so long? You've been request..." Kaouru and Hikaru walked in to see Tamaki crying holding Nescafé over his penis- they collapsed into fits of laughter getting there cellphones out and taking pictures of Tamaki.
"send it to Haruhi", Hikaru giggled
"NOOOOOO! Not my little girl", Tamaki begged.
"What about me?" Haruhi groaned entering, then she saw what was happening. "Sempai, I brought that this morning, now I need to get a whole nother jar"
"Oh Haruhi, daddy's so sorry", Tanaki retreated into his emo corner.
"c'mon Sempai, just get it off", Haruhi said trying to look away
"it won't come off" the twins laughed. Haruhi sighed and walked towards Sempai.
"come here, I'll get it off", so Haruhi grabbed Tamaki 's coffee jar and pulled. Suddenly, Huni walked in.
"so you are into freaky shit, Tama-chan?" He asked
"NO! It's..."
Finally, Mori entered, took a look at Tamaki, made an incoherent "mm" and left.
With Haruhi, the twins and Huni all pulling, the coffee jar finally came off and Tamaki breathed a sigh of relief.
"hurry up, the guests are waiting", Haruhi said throwing Tamaki his trousers. "Make some coffee while your there.
tamaki arrived in the music room minutes later holding coffees. "Here, try one, Haruhi"
haruhi sipped it, "it tastes funny Sempai, what's in..." Then Haruhi came to realization. "SEMPAI!"
*theme music*