Translated by Dawid Pieper
A problem.
"Come on, Minerva," I heard Albus Dumbledore's voice close to my ear when he gently took my arm. I turned to look at him. In his tired eyes I could see familiar sparks of amusement, which was hardly surprising, considering the comedy that had been going on for last several dozens of minutes.
That morning, Dolores Umbridge ran out of her office, chased by monstrous pink kettle on spider legs, which whistled horribly,, blowing out steam bubbles every now and then. She could not reduce it with any spell known to her, and actually noone was eager to help. In fact, I was the first person to say that it went far beyond my competence.
As a result, the kettle did not leave her a step for the joy of ... not only students.
She had not shown up at the breakfast in Great Hall, but also she did not intend to cancel the classes. She had managed to lock it behind the classroom door, but it did not work at all, because it started to whistle so loudly that it was quite impossible to conduct any lecture.
Now, enraged, Umbridge demanded help from Severus she had just run into.
- You have to catch this joker and make him take it back! - she screamed.
Snape looked at her with cool seriousness.
"You can exclude the Weasleys right away, Professor. Yesterday, until late, they were grounded and I suspect someone had to cast a spell just yesterday evening. Umbridge's face became clearly smaller.
- But it happened this morning. I wanted to boil water for tea, all of a sudden ... There was such a problem.
- It looks like a delayed spell has been used.
- Then it's Potter! Yes! It's definitely him! She cried shrillly. I felt Albus tighten his fingers on my shoulder.
"It's totally unbelievable," Snape replied in a silky tone. - In the case of such a spell, anyway, some skills are needed, and we both know that Potter has never gained them. He smiled one of those malicious smiles I did not like most about him.
- Right, Professor. Right. But Granger is still a possibility. She could ...
- Unfortunately, Miss Granger can also be ruled out. She spent yesterday evening at a prefect meeting.
- So who!? Umbridge called almost desperately. - Who did it!?
- We will find out. You can be sure of that, professor.
- I need to see the headmaster immediately! It can not be so! I can not walk around the school with a kettle!
- I'm afraid it's impossible at the time being. Professor Dumbledore is not present at the moment and, as far as I know, he will not return until the evening.
"Come on," Albus whispered again.
We withdrew silently, unseen by anyone. The students were involved in the play heads over heels so that they did not even took notice of the headteacher. I could, however, swear that Snape saw him.
- Where are you officially staying now? - I asked, when we had gone quite far away from all the confusion.
"I have no idea," he replied, now leting himself show open merriment. - I'll have to ask Severus. By the way, I wonder who has done it.
"If not the Weasleys, I really have no idea who it could be," I replied after a moment's thought. "The only person capable of casting a delayed spell that comes to my mind is Hermione Granger, but you've heard that it's impossible candidacy.
"Apparently, we underestimated someone," Albus said cheerfully, opening the door of the teacher's room. I followed him inside.
Filius Flitwick was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, wrapped in a thick blanket. He had a cold, but he filled the evaluation cards with admirable persistence.
- How do you feel, Filius? Dumbledore asked, looking at him with concern.
- Thank you, headmaster. It's all right, "said Flitwick, smiling warmly.
- Dolores has two hours now with fourth grade? Albus made sure.
- Yes - I confirmed, looking at the lessons timetable hanging on the board.
- Perfect. So in that case, since you both have an interwindow ...
"We'll have a cup of tea," I said, bringing three cups with a wave of my wand.
I set the water and sat in the chair next to Filius.
- Do you still have so much still left? - I asked, glancing at the documents.
"No," he answered, and carried on with a spasmodic cough. "I'm sorry," he choked when the attack finally passed. - Do you know what happened there? - He asked after a moment, pointing to the door. - I heard some confusion a few minutes ago.
"Professor Umbridge has a problem with her own kettle," Albus answered jauntily.
- It seems quite serious. Filius laughed briefly. - Do you notice that she still has problems with something? Yesterday, instantly, she had a problem with my third year students. They did not agree with the thesis that werewolves are a kind of animals. In the end, she punished some of them. I paid a visit to clarify this matter. It got quite uncomfortable as she started to dwell on people like ... like me. She made it clear to me that I should not be teaching at this school at all.
- Fortunately, it is not she who decides - I said sharply. Subconsciously, I reckoned that Umbridge would finally find a way to really intervene in Hogwarts.
- Well, what about this kettle? Flitwick asked. - Maybe I should? ...
"Severus already controls the situation," Albus said quickly.
- Severus? Filius unexpectedly began to almost shake with laughter. - And that's it! I wish I would see that.
"Perhaps you will," Albus muttered.
I stood up to pour tea.
"Let me propose something to you for a cold, Filius," I said. - Tea with honey, lemon and ginger. Perfectly warms and soothes cough. Such is my substitute for a pepper potion that I honestly hate.
"An effective substitute," Dumbledore said, playing with a spoon.
"I will try with great pleasure," Filius said cheerfully.
For many years he has been suffering from an incurable heart disease, having serious circulation problems and there are days when he feels really bad, but almost never is he observed in a bad mood.
The moment I poured tea into the cups, someone opened the door with unprecedented impetus.
"Let me just find the idiot who charmed Umbridge!" Severus's voice rang out. I breathed a sigh of relief, cause I was sure that Dolores had given up giving classes in the company of a kettle.
"A few minutes ago I got the impression that this situation suits you," Dumbledore said kindly.
"I did not presume the matter was so serious, Headmaster. This can not really be reduced. I tried in all ways I do know and as a result the kettle became only twice as large. I would be sure that it was the Weasley's doing if they were not doing my detention yesterday. Pal, if it had behaved like so far. It could have been running after her, even until the end of the year - he threw himself with one breath.
- So what's up, Severus? Filius asked.
It got stuck in the door of her class. You can not go to it because it spits boiling water.
- Tea, Severus? - I asked, barely inhibiting my smile. He shook his head impatiently.
- Where's Dolores? Dumbledore asked factually, but the joyous flashes did not disappear from his eyes.
- In class, together with students.
- Well, amazing - I said, levitating on the table three cups of tea.
It was that moment when I heard the cries of peeves from the corridor.
He did not manage to put together an occasional song, so he shouted what only came to his mind.
- The four-year-olds will sit in the class, like herring in can, like herring in can! A huge kettle do look for them, It'll kiss the toad, it'll be so well! Pink teapot in blue flowers, has extremely thin legs! He hisss and snorts, whistles and blows so that nowhere in school the toad goes!
Filius literally roared with laughter. Albus, who looked at him with a little surprise for a moment, also began to laugh. I also snorted into a cup, although I was not sure what really made me laugh. Severus looked at us, understanding nothing.
Filius finally took control, wiped his face with a handkerchief and stood up firmly.
"Okay," he said. - Jokes with jokes, but it has gone too far.
- Do you have an idea what to do about it? - I asked.
He looked at me with a mischievous smile that I had never seen before presented by him.
"Of course," he replied, then he looked at Severus.
"I think you wanted to find this idiot who charmed Umbridge.