I wake up the next morning with Edward already gone. My arm is still wrapped in it's bandage and is a little tender. When I look down at it, I can't help but think of what happened last night.
I see Jasper, hungry and feral, coming towards me.
Flashes of Edward as he rushes to stop him.
Them both slamming into one another.
The Cullens, who'd done all of this amazing work for me so I could have a special birthday, having to apologize in their own home because I was simply too human and too clumsy to even open a birthday present without hurting myself.
I shake my head, trying desperately to get the next thoughts that come to my mind away.
Edward.
How stiff he was last night holding me in his arms. In all the nights that we had shared the same bed together this was the first night where he actually really did feel cold-like a vampire. But it wasn't because of his skin. It was the way he treated me. Like his mind was somewhere else and even though I was right there, I couldn't seem to get through to him or reach him.
How quiet he was last night in the car.
And more scarily, how quiet he was at the party after I'd almost been killed by his adopted brother.
I bite my lip.
My brain tries to come up with the worst possible scenarios for what Edward's silence and coldness towards me could mean.
I told him that it wasn't a big deal. That I was ok. That what happened didn't scare me away from the Cullens. From him. It was my fault. Not theirs.
But it seems like...
I throw off the covers and get out of bed.
No. I won't let myself sit here thinking the worst.
Edward will come around. It's just the incident is so fresh. He blames himself for what happened even though it wasn't his fault.
I walk around my room getting myself ready for another day. I grab my CD player along with my headphones, and blare music so I can quiet my own storm of selfblaming thoughts.
I meticulously tell myself...
Chant to myself...
That everything will be ok.
We'll get through this.
We have to.
XxxxxXxxx
But the next few days are more of the same.
Edward doesn't talk to me. Doesn't smile. Doesn't even look me in the eyes.
And each and everyday he feels more and more cold.
I try to tell myself that nothing has really changed.
I force myself to make up excuses in my head for his behavior towards me.
But I can't lie.
Even though he still does everything. He's still beside me.
I tell myself that this should be enough.
Especially since the people around us can't really see that things have changed, because Edward's so good at pretending to be normal.
My dad doesn't ask questions.
Jessica, Mike, even Angela, and the rest of our classmates that we sit with at school don't notice that something is off between me and Edward either.
I should be happy.
Everything seems like it is the exact same as it had been before the whole Jasper incident.
Except...
It's not.
I feel it especially one day when Edward is over my house and I decide to take pictures. Just to remind myself that we are together. That we are real. That nothing has changed between us.
But when I get the pictures developed and look back at them I see it.
I see the rift so clear that it shocks me.
How dead Edward's eyes are.
I keep crying.
Not when Edward's with me, pretending to want to be there by my side, but whenever I have moments alone. Like when I am in the shower.
At first I didn't understand why I would cry.
But then I finally get it.
It's because I feel like I have lost someone.
My Edward.
The one before the day of my birthday party at the Cullen's house.
And I can feel the rest of Edward slipping through my hands like sand...and I know that if I don't do something about it...
I will lose him completely.
So, I make a decision.
I tell myself it's a selfless act.
That...
I have no other choice.
I decide to do it after school one day as he drives me home.
He pulls up to the driveway and I turn to him.
I take a deep breath because I know what I have to do if I want to keep Edward from hating himself for being with me.
Then I say the words that will put in motion the change of what I had thought would be my forever.
"Let's take a walk"
Author's Note: Inspired by the lyrics to Hyolyn's new single "Dally"
