Without You

by ShriQuinn

Set after Dean's year in purgatory, as Shri thinks they had split. Dean and Shri have been broken up for a year now. It feels more normal for them since maybe this was how it was meant to be? When finally, they meet up will their issues from before be riddled with the lies of the past? Or will they finally grow up and move on from all that? Maybe a song will help them? Maybe...

Without You (For "Of Anime and Pie" my main story for Shri and Dean. It will reference Demon!Dean as well as an angelic version of him as well. You never truly know.)

A/N: Only thing I own is the story, and my character, Shri. Everything else is owned by their respectable owners. I hope you enjoy. Dean somehow feels oddly OOC in this idea, but it is my first time writing him and Sam. I had a lot of songs help me out before I started writing this like "Eye of the Tiger", "Angel with a Shotgun", "Without You", and plenty of other songs. I really enjoy finding new music to play around with mentally seeing what I can do. I also read a lot of y'all's fanfics to help me get started. I'm not going into too much detail before I write the story. There will be other songs that would be suitable for this story. The story itself will be a three parter. Shri x Dean, Sylvia x Crowley and Emily x Raye (WIP at the moment.). Also hints of Naomi x Crowley before. Will set up links at the bottom if I can about the outfits for Shri. Will show her image later. R&R for sanity. Other than that be wary of chat speak. Tbh= to be honest, and hbu: how about you?

Summary: Set after Dean's year in purgatory, as Shri thinks they had split. Dean and Shri have been broken up for a year now. It feels more normal for them since maybe this was how it was meant to be? When finally, they meet up will their issues from before be riddled with the lies of the past? Or will they finally grow up and move on from all that? Maybe a song will help them? Maybe...

Rated: PG-13/R for foul language, adult content, and mature scenes. (No one major really dies, just like the TV show, I will hint, and show aftermath, but I will not go into every detail. I wasn't that great at writing action/adventure/fight scenes.) And there is a lime in the coconut so have fun reading as I did making this! :D

ShrixDean

MIMI

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.

Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.

The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.

The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.

A year had passed since Shri had seen Dean. Too many things had changed in her life to be thinking of him at this point. Outside she had felt like she was moving on from him, but inside Shri felt like she was dying. She looked up to the sky and wished he were with her so they could forgive a past regret. "I miss him, deeply. I really do," she said to the stars and no one who was really listening. Shri's eyes were twinkling with sadness as she wandered the streets of Santa Fe, New Mexico. She hid herself from the lies she and Dean had created together.

Shri wandered to the nearest bar in hopes she would find Dean. She strolled lazily to the bar and sat down on a cold, metal stool. "Whiskey on the rocks," she told the barkeep. "Of course, miss," he replied keeping his eyes on the drinks. She wondered if he'd ever show up. Of course she was worried, but she had been keeping in touch with Sam every now and again. The conversations usually went along this line:

Sam: Hey, Shri.

Shri: Hey, Sam.

Sam: How goes it?

Shri: Piss poorly, tbh with ya. Hbu?

Sam: Bout same...Dean left the motel already...bit worried.

Shri: Think he's gone drinking?

Sam: Yea...its about you...he's worried about you, Shri. We both miss you, sis. :(

Shri: I miss you both equally, bro. :(

Sam: Cya l8r.

Shri: L8r.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.

Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.

The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.

The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

A couple hours earlier:

On the outskirts of Santa Fe, Dean had been on a hunt when Sam looked at him wonderingly. Sam seemed to know that Dean was thinking on Shri. Maybe he should say something? They were hunting valkyries at the time. Dean muttered something under his breath. "I'd die without her..." he whispered to himself. Sam barely heard what his brother had said, but let it be for the time being.

When they got back to the house, Dean was already crying. Sure, they had defeated the valkyries, but what was the point if he didn't have his girl with him? He felt like shit.

After, all that emotional outburst, Sam tried telling Dean to go after her. "Like its going to be that easy? I fucked up, quite badly if I do recall the situation clearly," Dean practically roared. "I should have been there to help out even if it meant something else to you, she does-" stopping midscentence, Dean looked at his brother again and shook his head. "What does it matter? I fucked up and may not get her back," the tears were welling up in his emerald eyes glistening by this time. "I-I should go out and celebrate. Screw what Shri thinks about my drinking patterns at this point, its not worth it," he commented to no one in particular taking his Impala for a ride to the local brewery.

When he finished driving away from the shitty motel that him and his brother stayed in usually, Dean turned on the radio. It was weird since he rarely listened to Broadway, but Shri had left her music in his car, and the song almost broke his already shattered heart. He found himself listening to the one she would always mention to him, "Without You" that one with Roger and Mimi from Rent. It made him miss her more than he already did. He hid his face on his steering wheel as he stopped in front of the bar.

ROGER

The world revives—

Now:

Dean walked inside and saw her sitting there. Her auburn hair floated to the base of her neck. He approached her slowly. "Hey," he said softly, close to being inaudiable.

She swiveled in her chair, facing him as her eyes were downcast. Shri was already on her third glass of whiskey not noticing her head was pointing down at what seemed like a slightly spinning room. "Hey, Dean," she replied almost sourly.

Dean looked away for a second to recover himself as he looked at his hands. What could he do to apologize? He shifted his feet a bit. "Look, I'm not here to set you off, or anything like that, I'm just here to apologize for that fuck up last year...I don't even know what got into me that night. I just miss you so deeply, it hurts, and I feel dead inside without you," he said as his voice began to crack. He raked his hand through his touseled dirty blond hair as he started backing away already sensing her discomfort at seeing him.

MIMI

Colors renew—

"Its not that I don't mind seeing you, its the fact that you left me for a whole year, Dean. What the hell was I supposed to do?" she screeched. "I mean, you went to Purgatory without a word, Sam had moved away from hunting, and I was left to fend for myself...broken up inside," Shri settled herself down quite a bit at this point as she noticed the older Winchester looking down at the floor between them. "I missed you so much it almost killed me inside," she told him as flecks of tears moved down her face as she moved closer to him closing the gap.

BOTH

But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.

"I never really thought of that until now, Angel," Dean replied looking into her blue eyes with concern. "I'm sorry for leaving you. It wasn't exactly my fault, Sweetie," he continued, "I mean, I did have a good training session in Purgatory," he finished trying to make a bad joke of his experience.

She blushed and glanced away quickly hoping he wouldn't notice her face. "Look, I know about a lot of things, Dean. Sam filled me in on a lot as did Cas in the time you were gone until now. At least, Cas did when he got back from Purgatory. He was a bit shook up, but he seems to be fine, I guess," she replied quickly.

MIMI

Without you.

Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.

"Yea," was the only response he could muster before she reached out to him to reach for his hand. He held her's lightly as he pulled her close to him. Shri heard Dean's heart beating lightly under her ear as she sobbed. "I thought...I thought I had lost you, Dean, forever," she whimpered looking up at him as her tears made her eyes sparkle.

His eyes showed regret and a hint of something else. Dean's voice was comforting as she cried. "I missed you, too, and quite a lot, sweetie. It gave me time to think," he commented, "about us."

"What about us was there to think of?" Shri asked looking at him wonderously. "I thought about you for a long while, just that you never seemed to be able to settle for a longer while than a night. It seems ridiculous that I even thought about a lot of things and I never really missed much things than I missed you or Sam," she cried looking at him almost scared to know what would happen if they continued.

"Quite a lot," he began. "The hunting business as you well know is a rather tretcherous one and long-term relationships between hunters is usually unheard of, let alone ones who have dealt with what we have at this point. I also wanted to know if you were it or if I'd made the biggest mistake of my life..." he was cut off.

She huffed and pulled back from him as she readied her hand to strike him on his cheek if he dared continue. "So, what you're telling me is that you believe our relationship was a mistake? That what we fought for was a bloody mistake?!" she yelled loud enough so the whole bar was looking at them and there weren't that many people in there to start.

"Hey, you never let me finish," he commented grabbing her arm gently. "I said 'if it had been', and I never said I honestly thought it was a mistake. I fell for you because you're smart, you can make me and Sam laugh, and a lot of other things that people now a days wouldn't even dare try. I think you as beautiful, even when you don't see that. I see through your mask and want to get rid of it all...all the pain that you've been through and all the pain you will ever go through, Angel." he stopped and looked at her as she began to look at him in a different light. He then got down on one knee and blushed a very adorable shade of pink. "I was honestly considering something while in Purgatory. Angelique Bella Rose, before I continue this any further, will you marry me?" he asked pulling out his mother's engagement ring from its box as he looked at her hesitantly wondering.

ROGER

Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.

Shri blushed deeply as she thought about the question. "Yes," she replied almost giddily as he slipped the ring on her finger. He pulled her into his body and held her there a moment too long as they looked at each other for a second as she glanced up at him.

Dean just closed his eyes inhailing her perfumed scent on her soft auburn hair. She smelled of sandalwood, rosemary, pomegranate, cinammon, and a hint of vanilla. She sniffed his jacket and smelled the leather, sandalwood, lavendar, rosemary and and a bit of a woodsy smell.

ROGER

The mind churns!

Dean thought of nothing but her as quickly as her mind shifted to him. He leaned his face closer to her's and he kissed her with a spark he thought had been lost a long time ago. She leaned into him and kissed him back gently. She wasn't sure what was going on as suddenly they heard the whole place cheering. Shri backed off and looked at her hand blushing deeply.

"All I wanted was you, Angel," he told her huskily.

"Ain't no one else out there for me. And ain't nothin' gonna keep me away from you, sweetheart," she replied looking up at him as her eyes glistened.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he thought about what was said. "I want to take you outside. I never took out that CD you had given me about a year and a half ago, if I recall correctly," he said grabbing her hand and taking her outside.

MIMI

The mind churns!

She followed him swiftly and quietly as her ears perked up to a sound from his car. "Its that song I told you to listen to all those months ago," she said her voice no more than a whisper.

"If we ever did split up, Shri, which in my heart, I never really meant what I said," he replied glancing quickly away. "I never meant to break your heart and make you run off as fast as you did. Damn, Shri. I never thought I'd see you again," his voice cracked on that last part as he looked at her carefully.

She moved closer knowing he was close to tears and kissed his cheek. "You can let it go, hun," she said against his ear. He shook his head knowingly fighting them off. His body started to shake as they finally let themselves loose. As she wiped them off quickly, Shri kissed him gently. Dean kissed her back with the emotions he had been hiding for a long time. She held him close to her and led him to the car almost shutting off the music. "You want to continue listening to this in Skelter?" she asked him curiously and he nodded through the tears as he swallowed back another wave of tears.

ROGER

The heart yearns!

Dean smiled at the old name she used. He liked the name and never truly complained about it since it was a classic. "It was the only song I listened to when I got back from Purgatory as it kept me thinking of you," Dean replied as he slowly regained his composure. "It just kept me going to be able to find you, Angel," he replied nuzzling into her neck illiciting a purr from her. "You mean the world to me, Princess," he sighed happily leaning closer to her.

MIMI

The heart yearns!

"I never really realized how much I meant to you, Dean," she replied noticing his nearness. Her blush became very evident on her face.

"Yea, sweetie, I know what you mean," he replied trying not to flirt with her as he would have before.

"You were always a tease," she commented sensing his offbeat reply.

"You really do like me, don't you?" he winked almost knowingly.

"I never hid much from you before," her response. "What about you?" she asked.

He growled back his annoyance at the question and looked at her keeping his arms akimbo. "I'm loyal, I don't hide all that much except for pain. I'm not the best choice for many people as those who get close to me tend to die, and I also had a kid before who tried to kill me with a woman I'd had a one night stand with...any other questions?" he asked laughing airily at that last part.

"Not really. You have always been there for me, Dean. I never imagined my life without you," she whispered again knowing now would be more difficult for her to leave than it would have been before.

He clutched her close to him again and sighed. "I know the feeling a bit too well. At least now I know I can never lose you again, Shri Winchester," he smirked. "I like the ring of that, 'Dean and Shri Winchester'..." he smiled softly.

"Legally, it would be, Angelique Bella Winchester, which sounds quite nice and rolls off the tongue a bit better, unless we wanted me to keep my maiden name along with yours?" she asked curiously.

"I wonder how that would work? Rose-Winchester? Or Winchester Rose? Or better yet, Winchester's Rose?" he asked a bit curiously.

"I like that third option best, I mean if you're up to it?" she replied just as curious.

"Sounds like a good plan," he replied smiling widely.

BOTH

The tears dry, without you.

Life goes on, but I'm gone.

Cause I die, without you.

"Shri, there was something else I wanted to tell you, too," he said looking at her now with a difference in his eyes than his usual look. It was love, and not just love, but Dean Winchester was admiring her and in love with her.

"Yes, Dean?" she asked looking at him curiously. A light blush covered some of her lightly freckled face.

"I'd die without you, and it took a fight with the valkyrie for me to realize that," he said in a hushed whisper so she wouldn't notice his tears again.

"Why do you say that, Dean?" she asked looking at him as she was leaning into him.

"Life without you, one of the many things I had imagined while in Purgatory, only resulted in death on all of those levels," he replied. "I'm so sorry about what happened while I was in Purgatory and I didn't really notice any difference between all the other people around me aside from Cas and Benny," he said looking down. "All my enemies looked the same..." he said almost crying again.

"Why do you bring this up?" she asked curiously wondering if the trace of venom in her tone would go unnoticed. "I thought we had already discussed this a thousand times before?" she asked as her tone softened noticing his flinch at her previous tone as she reached up to cup his cheeks. "I've already forgiven you heart and soul for that, I promise. You can even ask Cas when we get back to the hotel," she kissed him gently allowing her emotions to show through. He kissed her back tenderly allowing his past to make it to the surface. The pain, suffering and grief allowed him some sense of freedom as she kissed him gently not pushing anything. He held her flesh to him as she snaked her arms around his neck.

He pulled back panting a bit. Looking at Shri, Dean said huskily, "I think we might need to take this to the motel." He grabbed her and picked her up bridal style and set her in the passanger seat of the Impala as he drove them back to the motel.

MIMI

Without you.

While in the Impala, Shri reached the stick shift gear that Dean was holding gently in his left hand. She gently grazed his fingers and hand as he looked over at her quickly giving her a smile before turning his head back to the road. "Yes, Shri?" he asked quietly in the confines of the car as it began to slow down reaching the motel where the two brothers were staying.

She shook her head. "Nevermind, it can wait."

"Sure? We're here," he told her as she stayed quiet. Her eyes looked at him as though she had never seen him like this before. He got out of the car and opened her door quickly. "Come on," he smirked looking at her. "We can take our time tonight," he said grabbing her hand and taking her inside before she even got out of the car.

She giggled looking at him. Her eyes mirrored his own and she couldn't seem to think of much to say. Dean had that look of playful lust and he grabbed her close to him and kissed her again and again as she returned the favor happily. When Dean pulled back, he looked at her flushed face as she leaned against him. "Sh-shall we head inside?" she asked him blushing furiously now. He nodded and carried her like before inside the motel.

ROGER

Without you.

"You're mine, Shri," he said winking giving her a once over. He kissed her deeply again. Her body moved closer to his. As her eyes opened slowly, they were darkened by lust. He moved quickly to the wall just before he pinned her arms above her head looking at her heatedly. Dean peppered her neck with kisses and light nips and nibbles every now and again. She was struggling to get free, but Dean knew it was all for play. He could see through her attempts and eventually allowed her freedom.

Shri moved herself to the bed and winked at him patting the spot next to her. It was a fairly large bed for them giving them enough space to tumble and play. Dean moved to the bed slowly looking at her with what most considered bedroom eyes, but there was something under the surface as he sauntered over to the bed and sat next to her practically panting from excitement. "This wouldn't be as much fun with anyone else but you, Shri," he said huskily. He looked at her and held her close as his member poked her in the butt a bit. She nearly jumped and looked at him curiously. "What?" he asked noticing her look. "Oh?" he asked. "You've never honestly been broken before?" he asked her.

She shook her head and gasped, "No. The times we've tried before, you've either been interrupted by Sam, Cas or something to hunt."

"And for that, I'm sorry, but tonight it will be different," he told her caressing her back gently. "We can stop if you want us to," he nuzzled into her neck. "All you have to do is tell me, sweets, and I will stop," he whispered in her ear licking the outside gently letting her know that even if he led this it would all be in her control.

She was already flustered and kissed him lightly to let him know that she would be fine with his teachings. He ran his hand along her back as she arched into him shivering a bit. "Would it be too weird to ask you a question, Dean?" she said kissing his cheek gently trying to calm her nerves.

"Shoot," he replied looking at her intensly a sting of curiosity laced his face as he replied.

"Would it be weird if I said I would love you even if something happened? Something like the whole demon thing?" she asked hesitantly looking away from him just as quickly as she asked him.

"Nah, I love you, angel and all. You were my guardian angel for a long time, but you never showed yourself as a simple human. Unlike Cas, you came as something different each time to protect me. Why would you be afraid of that happening?" he asked her gently.

"I was just curious. A slight premonition is all that would be," she replied leaning into him and sighing.

He shook his head and nodded. "If you say so, angel," he replied noticing she was leaning into the crook of his neck and shoulder.

BOTH

Without you.

"So, shall we get on with it or too tired again?" Shri whispered against his shoulder.

He shrugged. "Maybe another night, sweets. I am really tired, but I'm also very excited about seeing and spending time with you," he replied kissing her hair gently.

She whimpered softly and got off the bed looking at him sadly. Shri wanted to help him with his frustrations. He moved to her quickly rethinking what he had said. "Come back to bed, Shri," he said softly almost gentler than usual. Shaking her head in reply, Shri stayed where she was by the vanity closer to the door than she had planned. "If you want, I'll give you a massage," he pleaded with her almost pouting.

She moved to the bed and was pulled into his lap. Dean's aroused member once again poking her butt still excited to see her or in this case feel her. Dean started to massage her neck and shoulders as he also nuzzled into her neck. He could sense a lot of tension being built up around her neck. "I must have slept on it funny last night," she sighed as he began to get the knots out of her. Leaning into him, Shri could almost feel his smirk as he was looking down at her.

"Maybe. When was the last time we slept together, just cuddled?" he asked seeming to enjoy their nights together even when they don't involve much between the sheets.

"The last time you spent a full night over," Shri giggled and looked at him as her eyes fluttered up to him as she looked at him from under her lashes.

"Damn, girl," he whispered taking her flirtacious looks as an invitation as he flipped her over on her back and started kissing her gently crashing into her. With both their eyes closed, he deepened the kiss. As his hand started moving along her shirt, Dean started to move it up slowly breaking the kiss to pepper her stomach with kisses. He knew that this area was a ticklish spot and continued to kiss and lick there as she squirmed in his grip and under his kisses. He moved her "old fashioned" shirt away from her head as he saw the dark green lace bra. He blushed lightly knowing something. "You did this for me? Tonight?" he asked her gently looking at her his eyes matching her bra at the moment.

"Yes," she whispered mischeviously. "I bought it a long while back along with a match down there," she winked knowing full well what she was doing.

Dean started panting knowing that he was ready for her completely. He started noticing his hand moving lower over her stomach as she watched him partly knowing what he was going to do. She panted as well as her breathing hitched when he reached her pants. He pulled them down carefully but it had a hurried feeling behind them. He gasped lightly as a smile crossed his face. Her hand was raking through his hair gently. He looked at the translucent underwear that she was wearing and pulled it down gently with his teeth and growled lightly at her. She was soaked and panting her breathing hitched lightly as he put his mouth near her thigh and kissed it and breathed close to her opening. She shivered feeling the warm breath on her clit. He put his hand to one of her breasts and squeezed it gently hearing her reactions and breathing as he continued. Dean used both his hands to fondle her breasts. They weren't that big, but they were sufficient enough to keep him curious. He whispered something against her leg that was inaudiable to her. "I love you, Shri and I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon," he said looking her in the eyes whispering it on her thigh. Emerald eyes matched sapphire ones as he crashed his lips onto hers to show her what she meant to him.

Breaking off the kiss, Shri said the words she had forgotten, "I love you, Dean." It wasn't one of those phrases one could say in the heat of the moment and not mean anything by it. "I don't want to lose you again," she said looking at him almost crying. "I never meant those things I said before I lost you," she said as she ran her fingers through his soft hair.

"I know, my sweet angel," he replied kissing her hair. Dean lowered himself on her and put a finger in her wet flesh as she moaned lightly hoping he would do something else. "Not quite yet, sweetie pie," he told her moving his finger around finding her sweet spot and he kept playing there until she climaxed. She arched into him and layed her forehead on his own and looked at him pulling him closer to her.

"Your turn," she replied playing with the buttons on his shirt watching as his body was splayed out for her. He pulled the shirt off of him and over his head onto the floor of the motel. She went to grab for his belt, and he let her take it off him slowly and seductively making him a bit more excited to get wrapped up inside of her. Dean's now hunter green eyes watched her nimble hands move to pull off his jeans. He kicked those off quickly and she blushed looking at his aroused member from his boxer shorts as it made a bit of a tent there. "Shall we show off or leave it be?" she whispered nibbling his ear now.

He looked at her again a renewed sense of what was to be and held her close to him gently whispering, "I told you once, sweetie pie, I ain't in control, you are." He smiled at her gently trying to convey that all was truly in her hands.

She smiled and pulled them down showing off his hardened member. Her eyes lit up as a thought crossed her mind.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

~Later that evening~
"Oh, baby! Do that to me again! Do the pincer manuever!" she screamed as the door was closed.

Sam wandered close to the door. Hearing these shouts of pleasure, Sam quickly wandered off as his face was as bright as a tomato. He made it to the couch outside the kitchen and promptly fell asleep.

Dean and Shri fell asleep just as quickly as they had worn themselves out playing in bed together. Dean curled into Shri and sighed happily noticing her face was still flushed from their experience. She wore a very serene look on her face as many people do when they are asleep, though for Dean the experience of this seemed very unreal.

~The next morning~

"Good morning, Dean!" Shri exclaimed excitedly nuzzling her head into his chest playfully.

Dean groaned and blinked his eyes open. It had been awhile since he had gotten anything close to a restful night's sleep in what felt like ages. "Good morning, sweetie pie," he replied kissing her forehead. "Think we should check on Sam? Sammy's gonna be flustered when he finds out what we did last night," Dean winked at her and she smiled.

"Shall we find out?" she asked smiling up at him curiously.

"Sure," he replied. "Would be awesome," he chuckled to himself. The newly found couple wandered outside the bedroom. Dean was in his jeans with a flannel he placed over himself. Shri was wearing a light sundress in blue which she found adorable.

Sam was sitting on the couch doing research for their latest hunt. He looked calm which for Dean was a bit unusual because Sam would have at least been a bit flustered by now. Sam looked up from his computer and smirked. "Pincer? What the hell is that?" he asked incredulously.

Dean and Shri looked at each other then at Sam. "We were doing some mathmatics...long division," Dean replied watching his brother's face go from a pleasant shade of pink to a deep purple shade of sheer embarrassment for even asking that question.

End for now...

A/N: Hope you liked it. There was a reference that had to be addressed quickly. I am totally never going to be able to do a full lemon scene much to many people's amusement. For me, that's too awkward. As for the "pincer manuever" look up "Overlord Rose Love Scene" and you'll get the reference. That's all for now and so sorry for starting in the middle of this mess. It is fairly typical of me to do so. Chronological order of events will be sorted out when I have more chapters running. As for now, sit back, relax and chill.

Image for the morning: .

. (Just with jeans on bottom)

Video for the Sam scene: watch?v=Kq8Bh7JKPd4