Authors Note: I long have doubts on the title of this story, but it ended up with this.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own CSI: Miami or CSI: NY and I don't make any money from it.

September

It was a very cold day in September that Mac knelt down in front of his wife's gravesite. He removed the old candle and some dead flowers, before he put down a bouquet with white roses; her favorite. She never cared for the red ones for reason.

He sighed deeply before he said, "Hey Claire, it's me…Mac. Your husband…or at least I used to be a little over ten years ago. I can't believe that ten years already has flown by. Ten years since I held you in my arms, and whispered that I loved you. I really did Claire. It took me what felt like ages to try to move on, and still now I carry you with me in my heart.

It is hard you know, or rather it was hard at first, going home to find you were not there. Getting used to the idea. Sitting down to watch TV without you, having dinner without you, not being able to talk to you, or have someone to fall asleep next to. No one to argue with.

The team tried to help me through it the best they could, but in their own way. Especially Stella, she is an amazing friend. She always was and is. Even now after she have moved away to start over. We talk together two to three days a week, and she's coming to visit in the beginning of October.

You should have seen when she, I mean we first meet Read, he was sure she was you. It made me smile just a little. I had to teach him to know you, you would have loved to see how he turned out I am sure. And would he have loved you.

He in many ways is the child we never had….

You know we always planned to have children, yet we never seem to get to the point of having any. Maybe we were too busy, or maybe it was that time run away. I would have loved it though, having someone to remind me of you. Read does in many ways, still he is yours, not mine…

Which brings me over to the next subject I need to address with you. I am…becoming a father. She, I mean my new wife she is two months pregnant…

I should probably have told you that I got married again sooner, but life has been crazy around here. She is great, even if she is nothing like you. She is so enthusiastic and filled with life, and I really do love her. I don't think I've been so crazy about someone in years. We got married about four months ago, so the baby came a bit sudden, that does however not mean it's not welcome. As he or she truly is.

It's a long distance though, so we need find out where to settle first, it will take some thinking I am sure.

I just wanted to let you know, my dearest. I do really love you and you will be with me always."

Silent tears were starting to run down his cheek, as he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a soft voice say, "It's OK that you miss her handsome, I can completely understand that you must do that."

His hand lay itself on top of hers as he whispered, "I'm sorry sweetheart, sometimes it's just…hard."

"I know, I felt the same way when my ex-husband died a couple of years back, we weren't a good couple, still I do think of him at time," she said.

"I know you do, but no matter what has been in the past I do love you more than anything," he said, before slowly getting up, and placing his hand on her waist.

"I know you do and for that I am very glad for that. I mean I never thought I would meet someone again, until I meet you, and know I can allow myself to believe in love again, as I do know I love you," she said.

He gently nuzzled her cheek before asking, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, we're fine, I just wish I didn't have to leave you again tomorrow," she said with a sad sigh, burying her face in him.

"As do I, but I will come this Thursday to see you, speaking of did you hear Eric from you lab has started dating Stella," he said.

"Really how did that happen?" she asked surprised.

"Well he was there on work a while back and they kept in touch and it led to something more," he explained.

"I remember he was there some months back, but I didn't know they found each other, that is so sweet, I think they will make a very good couple," she said, nuzzling her chin.

"As do I, and you have to admit that Horatio is a much better match for Calleigh than Eric ever was," said Mac.

"I would agree, it's just a shame she didn't realized that sooner, but I am glad it seems to be working now," said Natalia.

"As am I, so do you want to go home to rest, or out to lunch my beautiful," he said and looked down in Natalia's hazel eyes.

"Rest then lunch later…tired," she admitted with a yawn.

"Home it is then," he said and let a hand slide around her waist as they walked away from the graveyard and back to his apartment.

Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)