I do not own the dot hack media nor do I have personal possession of any of the dot hack characters, story, or events placed in the fanfic. If any resemblance, it is of my own creativity and proper coincidence.
Rated M; for mature sexual scenes (Yuri), mild language, some sort of violence.
"Adjusting to Life"
CHAPTER ONE "Reminisce: She's My Everything" from Tsukasa's P.O.V (point of view)
Feelings. You can feel them. Even outside the online game, "The World". Those feelings. Subaru. I have strong feelings for you. I love you.
I'm sitting on my bed, resting my elbows on my knees, clutching my brown hair as I recite these words in my head and asking myself why I had said them to her. You must be wondering why I'm here or who I am, or how I'm feeling. My name's Tsukasa and I attend an all-girl school. Living here in the busy side of Tokyo sure takes some life out of you. I live here with my legal guarding that took me in, soon after I awoke from a coma.
I should start by saying that I collapsed into comatose due to playing this online game called "The World". I have spent some time in the game, and unlike others, being able to feel…feelings while playing. I felt them…even while I was in a coma.
While in the game, I met my legal guardian, as well others, whom I like to call my friends. I also met this girl, Subaru. You see…in "The World", I played as a male character. Everyone thought as me as a guy and well…no one knew until I recovered, that I was a…girl. Anyway, in "The World", I would usually hide my feelings, in fear of revealing such emotions or concerns.
Well, anyway, I fell for this girl, Subaru. She would listen to me when I had something to say. She didn't shun me nor was she, in any way, selfish. She told me…she told me that she'd be waiting for me when I come back. I still remember the day. I saw her on my way from the hospital…but as I passed her, I stopped to look back. She was this girl in a wheelchair. Her feet have been paralyzed because of a car accident a few years back. She brought her wheelchair to a halt and looked at me too. I ran to her as she turned her wheelchair around to go up to me. She didn't care that I was a girl…she wanted me for me.
From that day on, I haven't stopped thinking about her. And even after what I told her and what she did to me…I really don't want this to end…really. She's my everything.
CHAPTER TWO "Reminder" from Subaru's P.O.V.
Clatter!
Everyone stared at me as soon as my fork clashed against the plate. I was having dinner with my family as usual but I was so distracted by a few words someone had told me earlier today.
"Subaru? Honey, is something the matter?", my mother asked as I reached for the fork that had slipped from my hands.
I looked up at my mother and two older brothers. "No…but…may I be excused?"
I bowed my head, exhaling, as I left the dining room to go to my room down the hallway.
As you may have figured out, my name's Subaru. I'm a paraplegic and I attend an all-girl high school. I was in a car accident about four years ago and my father passed away in the process. Playing the online game, "The World", has let me explore a new world, roaming without the use of the wheelchair, and letting go of reality every once in a while.
Although, while in the game, I did not intend to meet Tsukasa. At first I though she was a boy, but as we talked and had gotten to know each other, the vision of her being a boy faded, and soon I realized that I did not care whether she was female or male. We both had our issues and we shared our feelings. She trusted me and I trusted her. Taken under the wing of her new legal guardian, she was to attend a different school as before. It turns out we now attend the same school. This is her first year in a private school, and to my surprise, she got used to it pretty quick.
Earlier today, she told me that she loved me…I didn't know how to respond…so I…slapped her. I…I…I love her too, but…in that moment, I just didn't know how to handle it.
CHAPTER THREE "The Locker Room" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
"Hey Tsukasa! C'mon, don't start to walk! At least jog it!" Katsuki-sensei yelled at me.
I hate P.E. Well, that's not entirely true, I just hate running on the track, I was telling myself. I can't really run much with my asthma kicking in every time I run. I had forgotten to tell Katsuki-sensei I had asthma.
After the four laps I was eager to go take a shower. As I neared the locker room, I saw Subaru. I only have her for a couple of classes, but she didn't have gym class. I wondered what she was doing there. As soon as she turned towards me I shoved my way into the locker room, ramming into one of my fellow students, Kitsune.
"Hey, hey… Tsukasa! What's the big rush?" she placed her arm around my neck, "Don't you want to say hi to Subaru?"
At the sound of her name, Subaru looked over to us, making her way towards the locker room entrance.
I gasped and pulled away from Kitsune, racing to the showers, "Not now, I can't! Sorry!"
Under the warm calming water, I heard people leave one by one and soon everyone had left to class. The bell had rung and I was still in the shower. I sighed, "I wonder…I wonder…if she still hates me…" A familiar voice behind me startled me, "No…no…I never hated you, Tsukasa." I turned around, naked, and stared at Subaru, who was blushing scarlet. Silence. All you could hear was the water hitting the tile floor. "I love you too, Tsukasa."
What did she just say? That she…l-l-l-loves me? Really? And…why am I standing here in front of her, naked?! "Su-Subaru! I-I gotta change! Look away!"Subaru giggled and smirked, facing to her right as I dried myself.
Getting out of the shower, dressed and dried up, I sat down on a bench, Subaru neared me, "Hey you. I'm sorry for slapping you yesterday." I bowed my head, "No. I'm sorry." She looked confused, "What are talking ab--?" At that moment I reached out to cup her face and kissed her slightly. We parted and all I could think of was I'm sorry, Subaru. But I love you too. "I love you, too." Subaru exhaled and held my hand, "We will make it…together. Hmm?" My hair was still dripping wet as I nodded my head. She brushed it out of my eyes but I shook it, allowing it to cover my eyes once again. "Why do you have your hair in your face like that? You're gonna end up eating it one of these days." Smiling I responded, "I know…I have before, but I dunno…I…I like it this way." I stared at her beautiful long blue hair, "I like your hair the way it is too." She put her hair behind her ear, blushing, "but I wanted to cut it and maybe making it a bit darker…" I grinned at her, "Hm. As long as you're happy."
CHAPTER FOUR "Four My Love" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
"Tsukasa…". Miyaki-sensei called to my attention, seeing as how I was dazed. "Can you tell me the equivalent of the product of three with the variable x times the sum of the previous solution?"
I looked at her, "Four?" The class murmured as soon as I responded. I wasn't concentrating on Math right now, I was thinking more on what went on with Subaru and me, the event.
Subaru! Damn it! I think she's laughing at me too, for giving out such answer. I looked back, but she just stared at me and mouthed, "I love you." As I caught on to what she was trying to tell me, my face burned as my eyes widen.
I turned back around, "Actually, Miyaki-sensei, I wasn't quite finished." I stood up and kept talking, "Four…For that I may need to work it out on the board, because I have something on my mind…", unable to stop thinking about the event. I gulped, walking towards the front of the class.
I stopped in front of the blackboard and swirled around, my eyes on Subaru, "I have…um…uh…a minor headache…ahem." I turned to my teacher, "Yes, so what was the previous solution?" In the corner in my eye I saw Subaru smile. "Well, Tsukasa…the solution was fourteen hundred. You now have to multiply that by thre…"
CHAPTER FIVE "Wanting" from Subaru's P.O.V.
Wow. Tsukasa…nice save. But I was a bit bothered that she called our kiss a minor headache. I know that she meant nothing of it, though. She actually volunteered to do the work. She hardly does that…especially in this class. She just completed the problem. She's so dreamy, sometimes. Now she's looking at me…she's…looking AT me… …
"Subaru?"
I blushed as I responded, "Yes, Miyaki-sensei?"
"Are you feeling well? You seem to be distracted also. Is something the matter?"
"No, no, I'm fine, just fine."
Tsukasa stared at me, "Does your head hurt too?"
I looked down and nodded. I bet others could feel the vibe coming from me. I was burning up as I looked back at my classmates who were looking at me in a confused way.
I feel like…holding Tsukasa…like kissing Tsukasa. I just have to.
"Mi-Miyaki-sensei?"
My teacher looked over to me and asked, "Yes?"
I exhaled, "May Tsukasa and me go get a quick drink of water, seeing as how we both have headaches? It would also clear our heads and the fresh air will do us good too."
Miyaki-sensei sighed, waving her hand dismissively, "Okay, but don't be too late, class ends in twenty minutes."
I looked at Tsukasa, who also had a confused look on her face, "Don't worry, sensei, we'll be back before class ends." At that moment, I grabbed Tsukasa's arm and dragged her out of the class, shutting the door.
Tsukasa looked at me and asked, "What? Where are we going?"
I sighed and pulled her inside the restroom, "I love you, Tsukasa." I pressed my lips against hers, pushing her back against the ceramic tile wall. I broke off the kiss, "I'm sorry."
CHAPTER SIX " My Darling" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
Subaru pulled me out of class, led me to the restroom and kissed me. Did she read my mind? I had longed to do this also.
"No, hey, no don't apologize, Subaru…because I love you." I pecked her slightly, "but it was because of you that I had to do that problem on the board…"
She pulled away, "My fault?"
"Yes."
"Why mine?"
"Well, for starters, Subaru-chan , you kissed me first."
"But…you, darling, said that you loved me first."
I raised my index finger but she was right… "Hmm. Yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't regret any of this." She neared me, "Neither do I , darling." I backed away a little to fast and hit my head on the wall, "Ow…d-d-darling? What?" Subaru placed her hands on my shoulders, "Darling. It's what I'll call you."
My face, once again, started getting red as I grinned, rubbing the back of my neck.
Darling? Wow. What will I call her…hmm. How about…'babe'? I'll give it a try.
"Ahem, listen babe, we can't go around and sneaking inside restroo--." She had pulled me into a kiss and soon parted to say, "You'll call me 'babe'? That's so sweet!" She jumped up and hugged me, "You're cute, my darling! Just like a puppy!"
A p-p-puppy? And she thinks I'm cute?
"Subaru." I hugged her closer. Her scent. Her beautiful scent. I love it. I love this. I love her.
CHAPTER SEVEN "The Spot" from Subaru's P.O.V.
Darling. I shall call my Tsukasa 'darling'. I blushed every time I thought of her. Our four- month anniversary is coming up on the 29th of October. Even though we kissed not too long ago, we have been "together" since June. I'm so excited for us.
I'm at home, sitting in front of the computer, waiting for it to load. I…I should call her up, before she takes off to the arcade or something. Tsukasa usually goes to hang out with her friends at the arcade on Saturdays.I sigh and look over to my cell phone and reach for it but then realized what if she's already gone?
I looked at the time, 2:45pm
Nah. I'll call her…just to see how she is. Maybe we'll go to "Our Spot"..
I picked up the cell and dialed her number. Tsukasa's guardian answered. "Hello, Bear? Is Tsukasa home?"
Subaru? No she isn't here. She said she was going to "The Spot", wherever that is. You wanna give her a call?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you. Goodbye."
CHAPTER EIGHT "There's A Bird Hovering In The Wind" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
I love this place. Subaru and I have something we call "Our Spot". It's in the beautiful Shinjuku Gyoen. It's a perfect place to spend time with Subaru. Here we sit by the meadow. Under this tree. So peaceful.
I heard a familiar ringtone and I looked over to my phone, call from Subaru, hmm.
"Hello?"
"Tsukasa? Where are you? Are you at the Shinjuku Garden?"
"Yup. Just here. Hey there's a bird hovering in the wind, Subaru. Looks…funny."
I heard her laugh.
"Tsukasa. I'm going over there too, okay?"
"Sure. I'll see you in a bit. Bye, babe."
I hung up. Our four-month anniversary is coming up, but…there is something different going on. She says she loves me but…what if she doesn't mean it? There…is something I have to bring up though. Something I have to know about.
You see…there's this…teacher. He's our English teacher…named Zachary Travis Rhodes. I...he's a pretty good teacher, but I'm suspecting something. Ever since he started teaching a month ago, Subaru's been acting different. I…I think she likes him.
CHAPTER NINE "A Break For A While" from Subaru's P.O.V.
Damn, Tsukasa. Why did you go without me? I wonder if something's up.
I arrive there in twenty minutes to find her slumped by the tree we always sit by. There's something different about her. Maybe…maybe…she knows about, well, my tiny infatuation with my English teacher, Mr.…Mr. Rhodes. Mr. Zachary Travis Rhodes…he's so…splendid. Um…I'm not falling in love with him, now am I? No…I can't be…if I am…does that mean that my heart is…?
"Tsukasa? Hi, there."
She didn't look up but as soon as she heard my wheelchair's tires skid in front of her, she slowly lifted her head, "Why are you so worked up, Subaru? Something or someone on your mind?"
I think I was a bit worked up, perhaps because of my confusion or mixed feelings or…maybe I was mad at her for knowing about Mr. Rhodes.
"NO! Why are you here…like this, anyways? You know we always come here together. And why are so down?"
Tsukasa smirked, "What are you talking about? I'm always like this." She chuckled and shook her head, "You like that English teacher of ours, huh?" My face flushed, "No! Where are you getting this from?"
She shrugged and sighed, "I don't know…and I don't care. You know, this place is pretty much mine as it is yours. It's not just for us, either. I came here 'cause I needed to think. Just clear my head and just…think about things."
I looked away, "There's nothing going with me and Mr. Rhodes, Tsukasa." I heard her cough and looked back. She lowered her head and exhaled, "I…I really don't want to hear that name…especially now when I know you like him."
"Tsukasa, nothing will ever happen between Mr. Rhodes and me, okay?"
She looked me straight in the eyes, "I said I don't want to hear that name…don't say it again! I don't want to hear his name and mine in same sentence. It just feels like you can't choose. You want him…but you…"
I stared at her, noticing she seemed calmer, "What…?"
She continued, "You can't be with him, 'cause he's a teacher…and…you're not sure you want to be with me."
I snapped back at her, "Hey! I want to be with you!"
She shrugged, "Doesn't seem like it. And well…I think I need a break for a while. To think about stuff…I don't really know if you really want me…or not."
She stood up and bowed to me, "Bye, Subaru."
CHAPTER TEN "Reminisce: She Was My Everything" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
I walked away. I walked away from Subaru. So much anger and jealousy going on right now. I can't help but…just punching something.
I turned around and slammed by fist to a near tree. I began pounding it then I felt hands on my shoulder and they were pulling me back, "No! Let me go!" I wanted to charge towards the tree but I felt another pair of hands on my arms, "What?!"
I looked sideways and I saw these two men, who apparently worked in the Garden and they began speaking to me, "Are you okay, young lady?" I stopped my tantrum and realized that Subaru was still looking my way. Embarrassed, I nodded, "I'm sorry…I…"
I began walking away when I heard one of them say, "The Garden will be closing in fifteen minutes."
Without looking back, I raised a thumbs-up and put my hoodie on, walking ever so slowly. As I was walking by a pond I looked at its reflection. I imagined Subaru next to me and gasped, looking around but…it was just my imagination. I guess we kinda broke up…I didn't want to but I need to think without her around for a bit.
On my way to the Garden's entrance, I stopped every now and then and I thought about our days at "Our Spot". But then the vision of Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is comes along and… "AARRRRGHHHHHH!!" I close my eyes and fall to my knees, hammering my fists downward. The images of her with him or of her thinking of him built anger in me, and I hit the ground harder and harder, screaming as pain takes over. "You want to be with him?! Fine! As long as…" I try to catch my breath, "As…long as you're happy!" I collapsed on the ground. I felt the breeze carry droplets of pond water, spilling upon my skin. My head was aching as I gave out labored breaths, I slowly lifted myself and sat up. I shook my head as the misty dews cooled me down.
It was getting windy and I heard the trees swish around me. I searched around my jacket's pocket for my beanie, "Damnit, some day to be alone, huh?" I put it on and moved my hair out of my face. I got up and walked out of the Garden, "This day sucks." This hurt... I would rather be physically wounded and damaged than to…be emotionally injured. And not only that, I have an empty feeling inside me. Subaru used to fill this void. She was my everything.
CHAPTER ELEVEN "The Library" from Subaru's P.O.V.
After I left the park I didn't know what to think, I was so confused and lost.
Most of the way back I didn't look up. I remember once she told me, "Hey, Subaru. Chin up and never look down. Everything will be okay."
I looked and saw her walking towards me, but it seemed as though she hadn't noticed. It looked as though she has been wandering around town, with her eyes set on the ground. "Hey, Tsukasa!" For some reason, I had forgotten about our break-up and yelled her name." She looked over to me, and stared at me.
Oh, my gosh. Did I just…?!
Tsukasa reached me but kept walking on…then she finally whispered, "Hi." I faced back and all she did was walk on. I looked after her and she was just walking away, her hands in her hoodie jacket's pockets, kicking rocks as she turned a corner. I turned my head just in time to stop myself from running into a busy street. Relieved, I lifted my hand to my chest and sighed, "Whoa, that one…was a close one."
On my way home I passed the one of the city's smaller libraries. As usual I pass by the window to see what new books have come in. I browse around then I spot him. Mr. Rhodes. I see him look my way and I catch his eye and I wave, glancing away with a small blush on my face.
He's so handsome. And he must enjoy reading! I must go greet him to be polite.
As I enter the store I see him sit by the café window. I realize Am I really falling for him? Since Tsukasa and I are over, I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least say hi. But he's so nice.
"Mr. Rhodes?" I bow my head, "Hello."
He looked up and smiled, "Why, hello Subaru? How are you doing?"
Gosh that smile…and those green eyes! "Um…I'm okay, you?"
He grinned, "Just here reading the usual Tokyo Info. I come here every day to learn more about the city and its culture."
He…he comes here every day? I should renew my library card and come here also.
"Would you like a coffee, Subaru?" He asked me.
I nodded, "That would be nice."
I think…that if I am with him, he won't treat me like the way Tsukasa did…
And besides, Tsukasa didn't really like reading, she's not that open to music and this could be something so new and nice to me. I should give this a shot.
CHAPTER TWELVE Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is's Daughter "from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
I was walking home, and I ran into Subaru. Surprisingly, she had called to me but I was still so worked up that all I did was whisper "hi" and walked off. I did nothing but walk on.
As I turned a corner I came across her again.
Only this time, she wasn't alone. She was sitting at the local library café with Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is. I slammed my back against the brick wall and knocked my head on the glass window. I didn't realize I had hit it and began doing it harder. A person walking down the street looked at me and asked, "Is something the matter?" I stopped and faced the young girl looking at me, "Tsukasa?" I sighed and I asked, "Do…I…know…you?"
Then it came to me, "Wait…you're…that girl…well, of course you're that girl because we attend an all-girl school…but you're the one that sits in front of me in Math. You're also in Tech with me. And in…" I was a bit stuck on the last one. I slammed my palm to my forehead, "Um…"
"Do you mean gym class?" She finished up for me.
I nodded. She continued talking, "I'm Jeniphyr. Jeniphyr Rhodes."
My heart sank as the name sounded in my head. "R-R-Rhodes? As in our English professor?"
She nodded, "Yes, that's my dad. We're here for just a year. Now I know that you probably thought I was some kind of exchange student…"
Once again, I nodded, zoning out for a bit. Hey…this girl seems nice. I wonder if she likes cherry blossoms…
She hadn't stopped explaining, "…I'll be moving back to Kentucky next summer…um… Tsukasa?" She waved her hand in front of me and I came back, "Uh…that's too bad. Hey do you like cherry blossoms?" She giggled, "Yes, but I've never seen them in a Japanese garden."
I can show her the cherry blossoms in the Shinjuku Garden, I thought.
I stood up straight and cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well, would you want to go with me to the cherry blossom festival in the spring?"
She exclaimed, "Awww! I would love to! Yay, thank you Tsukasa!" She hugged me and whispered, "You have a cute way of asking things." I stood there, confused, "What do you mean?" She held my arm and smiled, "The way you ask things, you're shy, you know."
I stood against the building; thinking Is this really that teacher's daughter? They DO kinda look alike, but I guess I've never really thought of it. And…she's pretty.
I asked her, "Would you like to go to my house? I can show you photos of the cherry blossom festivals that I took last year." Jeniphyr nodded, "Well, let me go ask my dad. Do you want to come in with me?" I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Not really, no thanks Is what I was thinking.
She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in the library. My hand became sweaty as we came near Subaru and Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is. She asked right away, "Hey, Dad…can I go to Tsukasa's house? I know that I just met her but she's in several of my classes and she's going to show me a few pictures of cherry…um…why is everyone staring at each…other?"
She was right. Every. One. Was. Staring.
Subaru swished her head around in awe. Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is was just about to respond to Jeniphyr's question. I was looking at Subaru but anger swiveled in me as I realized that she was with him. Jeniphyr was exchanging glances with everyone.
She broke the silence, "Soooooo…may I?"
Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-What-His-Name-Is nodded and said, "Yes, but I want you back by nine."
Jeniphyr nodded back, "You got it Dad! Well…bye now!" She gripped my hand tighter and pulled me away. As she was dragging me away, I couldn't help but look back at Subaru who was still in awe. Jeniphyr looked at me, "Is something wrong?" I shook my head, "No." She stopped as soon as we reached the café's entrance and yanked my hair, "Do you have any bangs?" I nodded, "Yup, but you can't tell because they're as long as the rest my hair." She giggled, "I love the way you wear it. It just…goes with you. Very messy." I felt embarrassed, "Sorry." I pushed the hair out of my face but she stopped me, "No, you don't have to, Tsukasa." Wow. Someone else besides me likes my hair…that's a first.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN "Stalkie Becomes Stalker" from Subaru's P.O.V.
Did…did I just see Tsukasa with…that girl? And she's Mr. Rhodes's daughter? They were holding hands too. That really angered me, "Stupid!" Mr. Rhodes looked at me, "Subaru…is something the matter?" He seemed worried and I pushed back from the table, "I'm sorry, it seems as though time has rushed past me. I should go now." Without letting him respond, I turned around and stormed out of the library.
As I turned to go down Tsukasa's street I see them walking towards her house, still holding hands. I hide behind a brick wall and peek out of the side. I see Tsukasa come to a halt and look my way, her eyes as calm as the breeze. She looks my way and turns back when Mr. Rhode's daughter whispers something in her ear.
What is her name anyway? I know it starts with a "J" but is it Jamie? Jessica? Jenn? Jennifer! I bet it's Jennifer! But what is Tsukasa doing with her? They don't even know each other and now Tsukasa's inviting her over? Stupid Tsukasa!
In that moment, I knew I had to do something. I didn't know what but I did.
"Hey, Tsukasa! Over here!" I rushed towards them.
As I reached them I smiled at the mystery girl, "Hello, I've seen you around. I'm Subaru." The young girl reached out and shook my hand, "Hi! I'm Jeniphyr!" I exhaled, "I knew it! I-I-I'm sorry, it's just I wasn't sure what your name was." She smiled at me and faced Tsukasa.
Tsukasa looked at me with utmost clear and dazed eyes, "Hi, and Jeniphyr spells her name "J-E-N-I-P-H-Y-R. I've never seen that before." I responded, "Yeah, me neither." I could tell that she was down. "So, Tsukasa, where are you guys heading, hmm?" The anger inside me just couldn't subside.
She sighed and looked over to Jeniphyr, "Well, I wanted to show her some photos of last year's cherry blossom festival. Maybe we'll catch a movie or something. Why?" She looked back at me.
Tsukasa.
I nodded and said, "Okay. Well, I'll call you later, okay?" She nodded and bowed her head. I turned around and left. I glanced back to see Tsukasa staring at me. I shook my head and sighed. Is this really happening? Is this really what it is like to be alone?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN "The Bedroom" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
Subaru. This day is too crazy. Jeniphyr lessened her grip and ran up in front of me, "Are you okay? You seem…down." I shook my head and laughed, "No I'm just disillusioned." She didn't get that I was joking and looked at me hard and long, "Are you really okay?" I bowed my head, "It's just that it's been a…weird day, you know? That's it. And…here we are. My place."
I led her to my front door and told her, "Now, I don't live with my father anymore, but Bear, my guardian, is the coolest grown-up you'll know." I smiled and opened the door, "Hey, Bear! I'm home, and I brought home a friend!"
Bear came out of the kitchen and greeted us, "Wow. Hey, there! Oh, by the way, Subaru called and asked for you. What's 'The Spot'? Is that another teen hang-out or something?" I shrugged, "Yeah, I know she called and "The Spot" is just someplace where Subaru and I used to hang out."
He raised an eyebrow, "Used to? Don't tell me you and Subaru are over? Naw, Tsukasa. You guys were so nice together. You guys made a cute couple."
I looked over to Jeniphyr. "Jeniphyr." She asked, "You and Subaru used to…?"
My jaw dropped, both Bear and I forgot she was standing there. Bear cleared his throat, "Well, this is an awkward situation. Why don't you take Jen here and show her your room, perhaps explain a few things to her?" I sighed and dragged myself down the hallway to my room; Jeniphyr followed.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I motioned for her to have a seat. She sat on my bed.
I sat next to her, "Yeah. Bear kinda slipped that out, I'm sorry. Don't tell anyone but…yeah, we used to…be together."
I felt empty and lightheaded. Jeniphyr wrapped her hands in mine and came closer, "I'm sorry."
I'm so confused. What do I do now? "So…" I stood up and stretched, "Where is that photo album?" I reached over to my shelf and lifted a large book, "Eureka!"
I heard Jeniphyr giggle for the first time.
As I sat back on my bed, Jeniphyr leaned in closer. I gulped and opened it, "Well, this is the entrance and well, surprisingly, it was raining." Jeniphyr laughed, "Aww. Look at you. Is…that your father?" I exhaled, "Yup, that's him. And over here…" I turned the page, "Is when he pushed me in the pond. But back then, I thought he was kidding." I paused, and I felt a tear run down my cheek. "He would punish me for things I didn't do. He said I was a coward and that I was too 'kept in'." I sniffled, not being able to keep it in, "He tried to yank out the life support system when I was in a coma. He didn't care about my feelings. After mother died, there was no one to care for me. I was left alone." I was sobbing now, "Then I found Bear and Subaru and Mimiru and…other friends who, even though they're not really family; are there for me."
Jeniphyr rested her head on my shoulder, "I'm sorry that you had to go through that. After my mother passed away, Dad's been calmer and it just doesn't seem right."
She lifted her hand and brushed my face, "I guess we both come from rough pasts."
I shrugged, "Adults…they're selfish." She sighed and nodded, "Yeah, but we're selfish sometimes too. Like now…is it selfish of me and only me to have you?"
Shocked, I stared into her emerald eyes, "What do you mean?" She placed her lips close to mine.
…what is this girl thinking of doin--?
Jeniphyr pressed her lips against mine and whispered, "And you know, what you did in Math a couple days ago was clever. I wouldn't have gotten away with it, you know."
This girl, Jeniphyr…she noticed that too?
She pushed me back, slamming me onto the bed, "You have soft lips, Tsukasa." I do? Is…is that a good thing? She got on top of me, "Hmm. Do you mind?" I rubbed my neck, "Well, well… uh…" She giggled and nuzzled my neck, "You're cute." I had this feeling. A feeling that I just couldn't describe. "Wait, Jeniphyr, what are we doing?" She lifted her head and said, "I know that we barely know each other but I just want to be with you." I pulled her away, "What? Um…I'm sorry, I can't." She asked, disappointed, "You don't like me?" I shook my head, "No, yeah I do, but…I just can't do this, I'm sorry." Jeniphyr sat up and continued, "Haven't you've done this with Subaru?" My face flushed, "Um…I don't think we should talk about that."
Jeniphyr lied beside me, "Okay." She rested her hand on my shoulder, sending a tingling feeling down my stomach. She reached up and kissed my cheek, "Tsukasa…you want to go out with me?"
Do I want to go out with you? I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to because I still loved Subaru but…there was no way she would take me back.
"Jeniphyr, I…I don't know. I'm sorry but, I can't. I'm not over Subaru and I don't know if I'll ever be. She's my… everything."
She looked at me and scoffed, "Well, she dumped you. How could you say she's your everything? She's gone."
I shook my head, "Not the way I think of it. She didn't dump me, in reality. I wanted a break and…I guess it kinda went with what she wanted. She wasn't sure if she liked me or not or someone else. But I'm not giving up."
Jeniphyr got up, supporting herself on her elbow, "I'm not saying to give up but at least open up and see what I have for you. We don't have to label each other as 'girlfriends', but we'll see what happens." She did have a point.
You never know what happens until you're smack dab right in the middle. She's right. Like I said, chin up and never look down. …so now…we wait…we'll see…anything can happen.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN "It Just Won't Ever Work Out" from Subaru's P.O.V.
As I reached my house, I exhaled before entering. These images of Tsukasa and Jeniphyr together are flashing in my mind and they won't go away.
"Subaru? Is that you?" My mother entered the living room. "Subaru? Is something the matter?"
I stayed quiet.
"Subaru?"
I couldn't speak.
"Subaru? Honey, tell me, what's wrong?" My mother knelt down beside me and asked again.
Finally, I let it out, "Mom…" I started crying, "…Tsukasa and I…broke…up!!" I bawled into her shoulder, "This is retarded! We broke up and earlier today after our break-up I saw her with someone else." My mother tried to comfort me, "Maybe it was just a friend. Don't worry about it. Have you tried talking to her?" I shook my head, "No. I don't plan to either." My mom parted from me, "Don't you want her back?" I shook my head again, "No, it was her idea to take a break and we did. It just wasn't meant to be. Right now, I just want to get over her. I don't want to deal with this anymore. It…" I sniffled, "It just won't work out."
I let go of my mom and shook my head, "I'm…going to my room." I escaped down the hallway and carefully shut the door behind me. "I should call Tsukasa, though…on my part for being rude." I reached for my pocket and then stopped at the thought of her being with Jeniphyr, "They're probably together still." I just want this day to be over. "It just won't ever work out."
CHAPTER SIXTEEN "The Kiss" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
"Yeah, you're right," I was telling Jeniphyr who was sitting beside me on my bed, "anything can happen." I looked over to her and she smiled, "You're so cute, you know." She leaned over and kissed me.
Should I be doing this? I know Subaru and I broke up and everything. I-I could give this a shot.
"Hey, Jeniphyr?" I cleared my throat. She raised an eyebrow, "Yes?" I reached up and kissed her back, "Yes."
She slumped back into my arms, hugging me close, "So…we'll try?" I nodded, "Hmm."
She sighed, "What if Subaru finds out? And…when do I tell father?" She seemed nervous also but I laughed, "If you'd like, we can both go to your house and tell him later today? And Subaru…don't worry about her, we're…over. It…shouldn't…matter much to her." She sighed again, "Okay. And…its 3:35pm…do you want to head to my house in a couple of hours?"
I glanced at her and whispered, "What are we gonna do for the next few of hours?" I looked away towards the ceiling and groaned. She whispered back, "Whatever you'd like…"
I whispered once again, "Come here." She neared me and asked, "Yeah?" I cupped her face and kissed her, allowing her tongue to slip in and massage mine. I felt my face burn up as I felt hers do the same. "Do you mind?" I asked her as I pulled her closer to me. She shook her head, "…No, Tsukasa, I don't mind…do you?" I smirked, "Nah…" and continued to kiss her. I ended the kiss and we started laughing. We were laying there…just like that…together. "So…I've got this feeling…do you feel something?" She looked up at me, her face turning even pinker, "Y-yes."
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN "Busy, Eh?" from Subaru's P.O.V.
I was sitting there debating whether to call Tsukasa or not. At last, I had decided to, just to let her know that I was sorry that I was rude.
I swiftly picked up the phone, dialed, and sighed. What if she's still with her?
"Hello?"
A different voice answered, but I knew that it was Jeniphyr who answered. "Jeniphyr? Is Tsukasa there?"
"Subaru? Um…yeah, she is…but we're busy…she's busy right now. Can she call you back later, like, in a couple of hours?"
My jaw dropped, They're busy?! Doing what?!
"Aren't you two just looking at album pictures? How is that being busy?"
I noticed a little hesitance in her voice, as if she was trying to catch her breath.
"Yeah, we were…um…but now…we kinda are busy, so call her back later."
Anger inside me stirred again, "Okay. Bye." I hung up and threw my phone on the bed; I could hear her breathe in heavy breaths. A disturbing image filled my head, "They were…busy…"
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN "The Foreign Girl" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
I stretched across the bed, "That…that was Subaru?" I didn't know whether to call her back now or later, but Jeniphyr soon made up my mind.
"Tsukasa…" She pinned me to the bed and slipped her legs around me, "Give her a call later, for now…it's just us." I nodded and stared at her, radiantly glowing as she bit her lip. She lowered her head and kissed me passionately. Letting go of my wrists, she rested herself on me. Once again my face lit up with fire; hers flushed as she took my hands placed them on her waist. She licked my lips and I couldn't help but pressing my lips against hers. As I felt her press down on me, I pulled her closer, barely being able to breathe. We parted and I unwrapped my arms.
"Wait, Jeniphyr…" My head was spinning. Damn it. Is this right? I just broke up with Subaru and now I'm with this…foreign girl? I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Subaru, but…
Jeniphyr had a fixated look on her face, "What's wrong?" She got off from me and slid to my side, placing her hand over mine. "Still thinking about Subaru, aren't you? Well, it's best to let it out, you know. I'm here to listen."
I sighed and just said, "At…at least I tried right? I mean, I wanted to be with her forever but if she thinks that it won't happen, and then it just won't. As long as she's happy, right?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "And people always ask me 'what about your happiness?', and I just shrug. Her happiness is mine."
Jeniphyr kissed my cheek, "You have to worry about your happiness, too. I…I can try to give you that." She kissed me again, and smiled, facing away.
I then realized that if the one I thought was the 'one' couldn't give it to me, then…perhaps this foreign girl…could. Who knows, if we both try hard enough…we…we…we can do it…and we will try.
CHAPTER NINETEEN "Decision" from Subaru's P.O.V.
For the past hour and a half, I have been listening to soothing music and wondering if they have been doing such things. I guess she could, since she and I broke up. Why am I even thinking about this?! This is ridiculous! She's the one that that 'needed' that 'time'…but she has been drifting away. Both she and I have been acting differently with each other recently.
"Subaru?"
I turned around to see my mother standing in the doorway; it seemed as though I didn't her notice open the door.
She asked again, "Subaru…are you alright, honey?" She was standing there asking if I was alright…
I shook my head, "No, mother, I'm not. I called Tsukasa earlier…" Anger took over before my mother even had the chance to ask how it went, "Tsukasa wasn't the one who answered the damn phone! It was her girlfriend Jeniphyr! She said that they were busy doing something, and then I told them that I thought they were just looking at photographs, but then…" At this point, tears shot out of my eyes and I just sobbed my way through the rest of the story. "She said that they were but then they were busy doing something else, and I'm pretty sure…they…they were …AARRRRGHHHHHH!!" I slammed my wrists down on the armrests and cried out.
I don't care about what happens with her and Jeniphyr. It's over now and all there is left to do is move on. I think its best, if neither of us mentions this in the future, too. Everything happens…for a reason…and you just have to accept it.
"Girlfriend? You mean Tsukasa found a new girlfriend already? Maybe they've liked each other for a while and she was just being unfaithful. I don't think she deserved you, honey."
I looked up at her, "Well…they just met today, but my mind was kind of set on someone else, too, for quite a time now. And no…Tsukasa…didn't do anything wrong…we both just drifted away, slowly, until it was too late." I nodded my head, "I just have to move on…it's what I shall do."
CHAPTER TWENTY "That Evening: Part 1 from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
I opened my eyes as a soft whimper beside me escaped from Jeniphyr. "Tsukasa…did we fall asleep? What time is it?" I turned to the clock, chuckling, " Yep, I guess we did…for a couple of hours too. And…it's 7:52pm." I felt her arm slip around mine. "We…still have a while before I have to leave…how about we…um…get comfortable?"
Comfortable, hmm? This…could get interesting. Perhaps… even amazing.
I nodded as she got off the bed and walked over to the door, locking it. She smirked and flattened out her plaid skirt, clearing her throat. My eyes were focusing on her uniform.
Wow. I felt myself smile. She's cute…really cute, with her uniform on…I wonder what she looks like without it. I was wearing torn jeans, a tee, and I still had my beanie and hoodie jacket on. I must've looked outlandish.
She walked over to the bedside to turn the lamp on but the way she did it was…alluring. She slowly stood in front of me and stretched, leaving me to catch a glimpse of her toned stomach. I stared and soon realized that I was, so I coughed and looked up at her face, revealing her glistening eyes. Jeniphyr swirled around and slowly reached for the lamp switch and turned it on.
I was in awe, to tell you the truth. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She was…absolutely… beautiful. Her intense green eyes behind her soft dark blond hair shined in the room. Her curvaceous body, toned and yearning to be touched, stood in front of me.
Silence. Somewhat silence. Our intakes of our craving breaths were echoing in the room.
Jeniphyr walked back to the door and shut the lights, before pouncing on me. Once again, I turned to face the clock, "Um, Jeniphyr it's 8:00pm, we need to get you home by 9:00pm, remember?" She laughed and kissed me, "Don't worry, baby."
At that moment she breathed hard on my lips, "Tsukasa." She straddled me and placed my hands on her waist like before. I couldn't take it any longer, I just had to something. I reached up and kissed her, reeling her in more and more. She pressed her body down on mine and started shifting. A startling yet arousing feeling set in me and I loved it.
Pulling down on her waist added to the passion as we were still interlocking lips. She knew that we both wanted it. She parted our kiss when she suddenly slid her body up and down and said, "You can do anything, you know." She pecked my neck and I gasped, rapidly removing my right hand from her waist down to her inner side of her thigh. She knew what I wanted and she reached down, and lifted her skirt, then grabbed my hand and placed it underneath her warm mound.
She gasped as I did, pressing my hand onto her, "It's what you wanted right?" I nodded, for I was at a loss of words. She continued to hug me and I just wanted more. My fingers found a way around her lacey underwear and I gently touched her, receiving a strong kiss from her. I cupped her soft mound and pulled her to and away me. My hand was getting warmer and warmer as every breath of ours escaped.
"Tsukasa…" she sat up and smoothly removed her shirt as I started to stroke her stomach with my other hand, "…here…", then she unclipped her bra and threw it aside, illuminating her heaving breasts. "Tsukasa…taste…this." She bent over me and she placed her breasts in front of my face. My right hand was still cupping her as I pulled her closer to place my lips on her breast. As I shifted her, I could feel the passion between us thicken. My tongue encircled her nipple, giving me more arousing feelings. I nipped at her nipple, making Jeniphyr moan a bit.
I…I love the way she does it…she's so…sexy. I pulled her down to where she and I were face to face. Before I could kiss her again, she reached down and pulled down her skirt, soon after her panties. "Tsukasa…take me…" she smirked as she unzipped my jacket. Almost instantly, I took my jacket off, and shot the beanie across the room. "Tsukasa…take me…I want you…"
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE "The Evening: Part 2" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
We were there in my bed, under the covers…she and I. She had unbuckled my belt and unzipped my pants. She had gotten completely naked.
Okay, Tsukasa. I thought to myself. Do it, just let it all out.
Jeniphyr was rubbing herself on me as she panted in my ear, "Tsukasa…give it to me, now." I licked her face as two of my fingers stroked the outside of her mound. "Give it to you?" She nodded, "Yes!" Then suddenly I felt her hips buckle as I snuck my fingers in her, slowly at first, but then deeper and faster. "Tsukasa…" she turned to me and gave a weak smile.
She spread her legs wide open for me and rode my hand up and down, and my only reaction was cupping it again and kissing her violently, making her moan, tastefully.
We decided we wanted more, so she and I flipped, and for the first time ever, I was on top. As I straddled her I asked, "Jeniphyr?" I looked at her rosy face as she answered, "Yeah?" I gulped as stared at her, "Am I too heavy?" She shook her head, "No. Never, Tsukasa." She grabbed my shoulders and hauled me to her. I kissed her aggressively and placed my hands on her thighs. Sitting up, leaving both of our blushed faces to light up her yearning, I licked her neck, slowly trailing down her torso, and finally to her stomach. I didn't stop there.
Jeniphyr…do you want me to take you? I'm longing to…and I shall.
My hands slipped up to her inner thighs, leisurely spreading them apart, exposing a hot and ardent pussy. I stared and licked my lips. Excited of what I was going to next, Jeniphyr bit her bottom lip and heaved her breasts, moaning my name.
I looked from her…down to her waiting tunnel. I began kissing her inner thighs leading to licking the inside of her slit. "Oh…Tsukasa! Keep going…just…don't stop." I glanced up to see her fondling with her own breasts, turning me on even more. I went back and shot my tongue in, perhaps feeling her barrier. Her arousing smell filled my nose with craving for more. I sucked on her as she pumped up and down on me. "Jeniphyr…harder?" She screamed, "HARDER, YES! DO IT! MHM, TSUKASA, DON'T STOP!"
Shall I go on?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO "The Memory" from Subaru's P.O.V.
It's 8:35pm, I have to go take a shower. I think a warm bath would be better, maybe clear my head of things.
I was IMing a couple of my friends online and I didn't dare mention the break-up. I knew that they would just ask questions and that it would be hard for them to stop doing so.
"Subaru, r u there?"
I didn't realize that I wasn't typing anything. I was too occupied thinking about what happened.
"Yeah, i'm here, but I g2g. i'll c u at school on monday."
I closed the site and shut the computer down, "That's right, tonight's Saturday. And…tomorrow's Sunday. Well, at least I have my piano lessons…" I caught myself. Tsukasa used to wait for me by my window every Sunday with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Then, we'd talk about how boring the following week is going to be. I wonder if she'll do that tomorrow.
I pushed away from the computer and left out of the room, heading for the gallery. My brother ran passed me, "Hey sis! What's up?" He waved and flashed out the door. I raised an eyebrow, "O…kay." I entered the gallery where my artwork was displayed on the cabinets. I haven't been here in a while. I looked across the room to where my academic certificates and trophies sat in the display case. I neared the wall where the art pieces were present.
I touched a certain drawing and tears streamed down my face. This…was drawn by Tsukasa. I loved it…it was her third-month anniversary gift to me. We didn't even get to our fourth month. I guess after her getting out of the coma changed the way we got along. I'm not saying it was a bad thing that she got out of it , but before in "The World", it just felt different.
Chin…up… The tears didn't stop from coming. Never look down. Hmmm…it's a nice thing to do but in reality, it's hard to do that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE "The Evening: Part 3" from Tsukasa's P.O.V.
Shall I go on? Jeniphyr and I were in my bed, reaching our peak. I was in between her legs, looking into her opening. My lips were glazed with her natural lubricant. I looked up at Jeniphyr as I licked my lips, "Jeniphyr?" I want to keep going. I briefly licked her pussy and lifted my head.
She kept massaging her breasts, and moaning, "Yes…Tsukasa? Why…did you stop?" Her torso was glistening with sweat. "You're sweating…" I answered back, gazing at her heaving breasts. She nodded, "Yeah, well so are you, baby." I lifted myself to where I was over her, and smirked, "Yeah…I am." I kissed her gently as she wrapped her arms around me. I slowly started thrusting myself against her, placing my right hand on her breast and carefully kneading it.
"I taste good, right?" She asked as she tasted her own lubricant on my lips. I smiled as I gave a long thrust, "Really good, Jeniphyr." We paused, and we were face to face. I moved down to where I was facing her sweat-covered breasts and began licking my way around them, sucking at them when I got to the nipple.
"Tsukasa…"
I looked up and saw her smiling at me, "Yeah, Jeniphyr?" She licked her lips, motioning me to kiss her.
Once again, I dragged myself to her, rubbing my right hand on her wet mound, and licked her lips. My fingers entered her dripping slit as she gave out her orgasm, she couldn't help but scream, "Tsukasa! Oh…!" My fingered slipped out and once again, I slid down to lick off her juices. I heard her scream my name as I lapped her liquids. I took hold of her thighs and spread them out as far as I could, though as I did, she threw aside the blanket that was covering us and started thrusting herself into my face. I let go of her thighs and she closed them around my head. She took hold of my hair and pulled it.
Encouraged by her aggression, I darted my tongue in further, giving her a tingling sensation up her body, "Oh…Oh! Tsukasa! I'm gonna…!" At that moment, I felt her sticky fluids jet out into my mouth. Excitingly I licked them up, as her gyrating hips moved in rhythm with my tongue. I began licking upwards towards her stomach.
I browsed the rest of her body with my hands. Sitting on her, leaning in, I loved how Jeniphyr's lips were slightly parted. When I reached up and kissed them, she grabbed my hips and began thrusting them onto herself. I felt myself become wet and I slid my pants down a little lower to get some of my dampness on her. She felt it and she moaned, "Rub it on me, Tsukasa!"
Understanding her command I sat in between her legs and took hold of her thighs. Spreading them, I lifted her legs over my forearms so I could line up in front of her. Jeniphyr's hands found a way around me and pulled both my pants and panties down in one shot. She smiled and arched her back, as I did a long thrust against her. My hands moved from her thighs to her hips, caressing them; giving them a single stroke would drive her crazy with excitement. I dragged my hand to her breasts, while my mouth silenced her desired gasps that were caused of our fanatical collision.
Both our intoxicating juices smeared together, as sounds of soaked skin banged together pulsed throughout the room.
And that's when all hell broke loose.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR from Subaru's P.O.V.
In the bath, I relaxed with hot water and nearly snoozed off. I could hear my brother's music blast from his room upstairs, yet somehow, it wasn't annoying. After half an hour I stepped out and began drying myself. Halfway through, Tsukasa appeared in my head, making me freeze. I felt the breeze of the wind as it came through the window. I was standing there, naked, and I remembered that I had once seen Tsukasa bare-naked also, in the locker room at school.
What am I doing standing here like an idiot? I finished drying off and changed into my pajamas. Tsukasa used to ask me if I wore a bra to bed…I told her the truth. After I told her that I didn't, she nodded and walked off. She was confusing at times, now that I think of it.
As I transferred from the restroom to my bedroom I noticed that it was