entitled; our souls, they blend
summary; 'she reminds him of his mother; not that there was all too much for him to remember her by but there are slivers of the woman in his princess.'
rating; k+
disclaimer; i still don't own it.
word count; 604
notes; feels. endless feels. i cry.
our souls, they blend
.
She reminds him of his mother; not that there was all too much for him to remember her by but there are slivers of the woman in his princess. Flickers and flashes—memories he'd thought he'd suppressed entirely in all his years of living.
He wonders if maybe it should bother him a little that the woman he loves reminds him so much of the mother he lost, but it doesn't. Not even a little bit; it's difficult to be bothered by anything that might very well be the only reason he hasn't fallen apart.
He would be lying, however, if he said she wasn't holding him together; people see them, watch them, observe them together and see nothing more than a blood thirsty pirate taking advantage of a sweet, innocent, fragile princess. They see exactly what he would expect them to see—nothing more, nothing less.
It's no surprise they don't see what he does. They don't see how strong this woman is, how hard she fights and has fought for the people she loves—for him. She fought and continues to fight for him, much like her mother did for him and his father and Liam.
Unfortunately, as strong as his mother was, he lost her all the same.
And perhaps that's why he holds onto her so tight at night—fingers wrapped around her waist and tangled in her chocolate curls as he buries his face in the crook of her neck, trying to fight the nightmares that occasionally grab hold of him in his sleep. Why he presses his lips to her neck as his fingers curl into the fabric of her nightgown, as if he was making sure that she was real, that she was there, in his arms, and very much alive and well. He goes as far as calling himself pathetic and ridiculous, and soft, but the fact of the matter is that she is all he has left—a few mates here and there he might have made after all that occurred with the Dark One and Emma and the whole lot of Storybrooke, but he knows, without a sliver of doubt that his only true family is Aurora.
She is solid, tangible proof that no matter where he is, how far from his ship he is, how haunted he is as long as she is there, he is home. She is warmth and sunlight and strength, and sometimes he as trouble believing that she would want to be there—thoughts that lead to her rage, to words she uses like weapons in absolute fury over the fact that he has so little faith in her at times.
And just like that he is reminded of the idiot father of his; the one he is still terrified of becoming—cowardly, and so very undeserving of the love his mother had for him, of the effort she put into fighting for him until the very end.
He kisses her most times upon coming to terms with these thoughts—tells himself over and over that he is not to become that man. Never will he lose sight of the jewel he has been fortunate enough to find in Aurora, despite believing he would never be able to find it in anyone again after Milah.
So, maybe she's a little too much like his mother, but he is nothing like his father and he will do everything in his power to hold onto her because she's all he has left and he is done losing his family.
end.