Author's Note: The arguments that Ichigo didn't know Orihime at all and that he ignored her all the time is getting kinda old. And more often than not, his real purpose for coming to Hueco Mundo has been debated fiercely. That's why decided to write this. It's my take on what Ichigo actually feels so this one is written completely in his POV.
I'll update the rest of my stories when I have the time but for this time being, hope you guys will enjoy this one! =)
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Kubo Tite does.
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He'd always watched her from afar.
Silently.
Secretly…
He watched her often enough to know the foods she loved, the TV shows she usually ran off to watch, and to know that she'd somehow gotten into an accident almost every single day. He watched her often enough to know almost everything about her, and her history…
He had to be careful about it though. He had to let everyone believed he knew almost nothing about her. Otherwise, they would find out how he really felt about her, his secret…
Whenever he heard her infectious laughs, he smiled with her. Whenever she tripped over something or injured herself because she was daydreaming way too much, he worried about her. And every time she greeted him in the morning, it made him happy.
Like the first ray of morning light, she brightened up his day.
When asked whether he knew her, it hurt him when he had to answer that he didn't know her very well. He wanted to know her, wanted to get close to her, wanted to be in a long, deep conversation with her so he could drown in her soothing, sweet voice.
But whenever he was close to her, his heart would pound so incredibly fast that his brain became incapable of any coherent thoughts. That made him scowled deeper, trying to hide his true emotions behind his mask. And she would be flushed and stuttered around him that sometimes he thought she was scared of him.
So he stayed away from her, though it wasn't easy for him.
When Chizuru groped her, when Keigo made all those lewd remarks about her body, when Kon attempted to get close to her, when anyone, male or female so much as laid their eyes on appropriate parts of her body, he wanted to punch them. But he couldn't.
Thankfully, Tatsuki was a great help in that department.
He, after all, had his bad boy persona he needed to maintain.
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"If you want to kill Inoue, you better kill me first…"
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Even if he never admitted it, the fact remained that his memory of her was clear.
She was that brown-haired girl he'd first met years ago.
He remembered the sound of the doorbell ringing and her small fist beating against their door. He remembered opening it and saw a crying little girl who somehow managed to drag her dead brother to their clinic, his blood pooling around her. He remembered how painful it was for him to hear her crying and pleading.
He remembered.
And when he finally saw her again at high school, he was glad to see that she was living happily. So, secretly, he promised himself to never let her scream and cry the way she did.
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It was funny, really, for someone who sucked at detecting reiatsu, he could always recognized hers easily.
Like everything about her, hers was warm, calming, and if he concentrated enough, he could even sensed her lingering scent on it.
It always took him ages to locate the others but no matter where she was, he'd always found her. And wherever she was, he'd always found her.
Always.
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She was the center of his universe.
Like his mother was the center of his family's universe, she was his friends'. Tatsuki dedicated her life to defend her from all those bullies and perverts around her. Chizuru was obsessed with her. Keigo and Mizuiro adored her, they really did. As much as he hated it, he knew that Ishida would do anything for her. Chad too, would risk his life to help her. Even Rukia, who seemed to have trouble caring for other people when she first came to Karakura, cared for her deeply. Not to mention Rangiku, who enjoyed her company very much.
As for him, well, she was his everything.
And that scared him.
He'd taken away his mother from his family. She died protecting him. He'd taken away their center of universe. He wouldn't let it happen again. Even if it meant he'd have to stay away from her, and even if it meant he'd spent all his lifetime longing for her, so be it.
For there's no way in hell he'd let her bleed for him.
He failed to protect her a few times in the past, though gratefully there had been no dire circumstances but he will keep getting stronger, to protect her better.
For her.
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"I… I will become stronger… Much stronger… And then, next time… I will definitely protect you!"
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That's what made him say that vow.
He hadn't meant to blurt that out but seeing her lying on the ground, bleeding and unconscious, it felt worst that getting punched repeatedly by Yammy.
If he could take all the injuries for her stead, if him bleeding and dying meant she would be safe, he would do it over and over again.
Because to him, she was more precious than life itself.
When they told him she was presumed dead, he broke into a blinding rage. How could they say that without evidence? When Yamamoto said she was a traitor, he wished he could beat that old man up.
He knew her. He knew she wouldn't betray him. Never.
And the emptiness he felt when she was gone was too much for him to grasp. As he sat down in her seat, contemplating, he knew he would choose dying if that's the only way to save her. Even if he had to do it alone, he would.
Yeah, for she was too precious to him.
And nothing could stop him from fulfilling his vow to her.
Not even death.
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"I don't fight because I think I can win… I fight… Because I have to win!"
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He was always extremely proud in his bad boy attitude.
He never cared about how other people saw him. Let them think he was a delinquent. Let them think his scowl as ugly and scary. But when he saw fear in those gorgeous, gray orbs, somehow, it made him sad.
She had a horrible experience with Hollows, he knew. Her brother turned into one, so he understood how she felt, but seeing how much she feared him when he was in his hollow form, it hurt him.
What if she doesn't want to be close to me again? What if she hates me after she saw me like this?
Those were the thoughts running over and over again inside his head. He was too fixated on her, his eyes kept watching her, hoping to see any changes in her reaction, and that what almost caused him to be defeated by Grimmjow.
But when she called out to him, tears flowing down her beautiful face, he knew that she feared for him more than she feared him. When he heard her encouraging voice, it felt as if all the weights had been lifted from his shoulder.
Hearing her, seeing her, made him feel powerful.
She was the reason he scavenged the deserted world of Hueco Mundo. He fought for her sake. He had to win for her sake. Unless he defeated the enemies, there was no guarantee he could take her home safely.
He had to defeat them.
As long as she's around, he knew he would win.
As long as she was okay, he could fight well.
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"Don't die… Kurosaki-kun! I don't care whether you win or not… You don't have to keep going… Just please… don't hurt yourself any more than this…"
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Gripping Zangetsu's hilt tightly, he tried to dismiss Aizen's words earlier.
His reason to fight had always been to protect his family, his friends, anyone who needed his help.
But more than that, he fought to protect her.
He fought to protect her smiles, to keep her alive by his side, and to keep the center of his friends' universe, the center of universe, intact.
She was the sole reason he barged into enemy's territory, putting his life on the line, the sole reason he bleed over and over again, the sole reason he died and rose up again.
For she was the bright, warm sun radiating his dark universe. For her, he wielded Zangetsu. For her, he suffered willingly.
It was all for her.
Always.
And her name was Inoue Orihime.
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"She understands… And waits… Just praying for your safety… Just believing in your victory… Don't lose, Kurosaki!"
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"I was always worried about you, Kurosaki-kun… I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun, I couldn't protect you… Thank you, Kurosaki-kun, for being alive… I'm so thankful that you're safe…"
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"Thanks… Inoue…"
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Reviews are very much appreciated, thanks! XD
