Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution.
A/N: Part of the Babysitting universe, predates first story. Starring Remy (Gambit), Henri, and Emil. Featuring Tante Mattie, Jean-Luc, and Rogue.
Never steal from a Thief
(or, the story of how Remy lost twenty dollars…and missed an epic battle)
Remy LeBeau sat outside of a café, four blocks from his home, appearing to be a combination of dazed and angry. Never in his entire life had he thought this would happen to him. How was he going to explain this to his father? How was he going to live this down? What if Rogue found out?!
Remy was a Master Thief, the Prince of the Thieves Guild. A title he had recently attempted to shuck by running away. The fact that he had done so was beside the point. The point was, HE was the Prince of Thieves. No one in their right mind would have even attempted to steal from him.
Yet here he sat, less than a week after his Dad had drug him home, following him rescuing his dad (which he was semi-regretting, the man never stopped nagging), and someone had robbed him blind!
Okay, so that was probably an exaggeration. The person in question had taken a single twenty from his coat, when he left it unattended while using the restroom. He still had plenty of money in both his wallet and his coat, but it was the principle of the matter! No One had ever stolen from him before. EVER.
He wondered briefly if they were put up to it as some sort of bet or something, but if that had been the case, he would have heard about it already. No this was a random pick pocket. He had to face the facts. He, Remy LeBeau, had been robbed by a common pick pocket. A petty thief. It was embarrassing.
While he sat there, trying to decide what to do, his brother, Henri plopped down beside him.
"Sup?" Henri asked.
"I don' wanna say." Remy muttered, slipping down in his chair with his arms folded and a frown on his face. In other words, he was doing his 'not-pout'.
"Aw, c'mon it can' be dat bad." Henri replied.
"Someone stole twenty off o' me." Remy muttered into his collar.
Henri stared at Remy, he blinked twice, while Remy glared. Then he began to laugh. Henri laughed for several minutes, a deep baritone laugh, that drew the attention of other patrons of the café, including their cousin Emil. As Emil stood to come over to them, Henri finally stooped.
"Pere can neva know bout dis. He be all over us both." Henri stated as Emil arrived.
"Here bout wha?" Emil questioned as he sat down with the brothers.
"Not'in." Remy grumbled as Henri said "Remy got robbed."
"Hey!" Remy yelled as Emil began to laugh.
"Who be dat dumb?" Emil asked.
"Don' know." Remy said.
"Wait. Y' mean dat y' didn' catch em at it." Emil said as Henri stared aghast at his brother. They had both assumed that Remy was upset someone had attempted to take something from him, not that someone had actually done it.
"Well it not like dey stick 'round af'er dey take it."Remy stated.
"How'd it happen?" Henri asked.
"Donno I went t' de bathroom. I come back, money gone." Remy replied.
"Wait. You left yer money lone? DIdja want t' be robbed?" Emil asked.
"Oui. De firs' t'ing I say t' myself when I woke up dis morning was 'it may be fun t' be robbed today' Emil, you figured me out." Remy said in his most sarcastic tone.
"…Naw y' didn'. You never up 'fore one. Dere no way y' had dat conversation." Emil replied.
"Not'in gets past y', Em." Henri stated. "why don' ya go get us some coffee?"
"Kay." Emil replied and walked away.
"So how much didja lose, again?" Henri asked when Emil was gone.
"Twenty."
"Well den, dat not bad. SO y' wanna hunt de punk down or let it go?"
"Donno."
"Kay we find dem den."
Henri and Remy left in search of the thief, forgetting completely about Emil.
~o~O~o~
Emil returned with the coffee a few minutes later, and was disappointed to see his cousins had already left. He wasn't surprised, just disappointed. They always did this to him! Like that time, when he was ten, and they ditched him at the movies, or when he was twelve and they 'forgot' him in the swamp. How do you forget someone in the swamp anyway? He was like 30% sure they did that one on purpose.
With a heavy sigh, Emil headed out of the café in search of his cousins. He was followed by a very angry waitress, who screamed. "Hey buddy! You didn't pay."
Great, and they ditched me with the bill too! Emil grumbled to himself as he handed over the cash. As he sighed again as it began to rain. And now I'm gonna be all wet. That's it! I'm just going home.
Emil walked slowly down the street, in search of the pick pocket or his cousins, neither of which were anywhere to be seen. Though to be fair, unless the pick pocket was wearing a banner, it was unlikely that Emil would recognize him. AND if he were wearing said banner, then Remy was seriously off his game. With this in mind, as well as the fact that Remy had only recently come home, Emil began watching intently for the banner.
Emil was so intent on spotting the non-existent banner, that he didn't see the bike coming until it hit him. There was no rider on the bike, just the bike itself. This was fortunate, because otherwise it would have hurt even more, than being hit by an ownerless bike that had come out of nowhere to attack him. At least that's what he planned to tell his uncle; that a bike had come out of nowhere to hit him; probably thrown by the pick pocket so that Emil wouldn't spot his banner.
Now convinced that the banner wearing bike throwing thief was out to get him, Emil ran the rest of the way home. He ran, winded, into the house, where he tracked large amounts of mud onto the floor, and was promptly smacked in the head by Tante Mattie, with a large wooden spoon.
"Wha de madder wit' y' boy?!" Tante Mattie screamed at him. " Y' t'ink I gots not'in bedder t' do dan clean up af'er y' all day?!"
"Desole, Tante!" Emil pouted, holding his head. " I sorry, I be attacked by a bike and a t'eif!"
"What s all dis?" Jean-Luc asked as he came into the room.
"Uncle! Herni an Remy lef' me 'gain. Den I had t' pay deir bill, even though I not eat wit' dem. Den it rain. I was attack by a bike thrown at me by de guy dat stole from Remy so dat I couldn't get a look at 'em, and den Tante be hittin me." Emil whined as he continued to rub his head.
"Remy what?!" Jean-Luc demanded, which was when Emil remembered that his cousins decided NOT to tell his uncle about Remy's incident. So, of course, he proceeded to tell his uncle the whole story.
~o~O~o~
Remy and Henri made their way slowly up and down all of the near-by streets, looking for anyone suspicious. The problem, they realized quickly, was that everyone in this part of town could have done it. This was Thieves Territory.
"We aren't gonna find 'im like dis y' know." Henri stated. "It not like dey wear a sign."
"I know." Remy replied. With an expression suggesting sudden inspiration, Remy pulled out his phone.
Henri groaned. Whenever Remy got that look when they were little, it meant he was about to do something really, really stupid, or dangerous. Remy never thought through his plans when he got that face, he just did it, whatever it was. Henri thought about running, but realized it was too late when Remy said " 'ello" into it.
Henri was divided between running so he could claim he knew nothing, and curiosity at who his brother had called. After a moment, he moved closer to Remy, in hopes of hearing both sides of the call.
"How'd ya get this number?" came a female voice over the phone.
"Y' gave it to me Cherie." Remy replied.
"No I didn't."
"Well you left your phone where I could find it. Same t'ing."
"It was in my pocket the whole time!"
"Details. Sides, it would be wrong not to call you after our vacation was cut short."
"You kidnapped me! You tied me up, knocked me out and drug me half way across the country!"
"Yeah. But you had fun."
"What is you wanted?" Rogue replied in a tired tone. This was the twelfth time he had called this week. He always had some excuse. Like earlier, when he wanted to make sure the purple scarf he'd found in the laundry wasn't hers (It turned out to belong to his sister-in-law's) or the time yesterday when he called to ask if she remembered the lyrics to his favorite song…which he couldn't remember the name of for some reason. So, they had had pretty much the same conversation every time.
"I was robbed. A pick pocket stole twenty dollars from me, and I can't find him." Remy replied.
Rogue laughed at this before she replied. "Ah'd love ta help, Remy. But I'm on my way halfway across the world about to get in an epic, now or never end of everything we know type battle. Call me back in ten."
Remy stared dumbfounded at his phone. She's just hung up on him. After she'd laughed at him. And what was this about an epic battle? Why had no one invited him? Remy loved epic battles.
Now not-pouting over not being invited to the fight ,as well as his self-proclaimed best friend hanging up on him, Remy barely noticed the way his brother was staring across the street. Remy finally noticed the way Henri was staring, when Henri said nothing about Remy being hung up on.
"What's goin on?" Remy asked.
"I t'ink I spotted your t'ief." Henri replied, pointing.
"Who?!" Remy asked.
Henri didn't reply, instead he simply began walking down the street again. Remy trailed behind his brother, grumbling about the injustice of being hung up on.
Henri approached the boy, who appeared to be nine or ten, and was carrying a heavy looking messenger bag.
"Hey Louis." Henri began. The boy looked up at him smiling. " Did my brother pay you dis morning."
"Yes Mr. LeBeau." The boy replied.
Henri began laughing all over again, as the little boy looked between the brothers for a moment, then walked away.
"Y' weren't pick pocketed Remy. Y' were robbed. Y' paid de paperboy." Henri said.
"Dad owes me twenty dollars!" Remy replied, rushing toward home.
Henri trailed behind him, shaking his head. There was no way demanding money from Jean-Luc was going to go well.
~o~O~o~
The brothers rushed into the door, remembering to wipe their feet, and came to a halt at their father's expression.
"Wha's dis bout y' ditchin y' cousin, getting robbed, and paying de paperboy?" Jean-Luc demanded.
"We did not!" Remy replied quickly.
"Den why do I have a receipt from de payment? Why did your cousin come home alone an covered in mud after being attacked by a bike? Why do you look so guilty?" Jean Luc replied.
"Well…I… Um.." Remy replied as his phone rang.
He answered the call, under the glare of his father. "I'm sorry Roguey. I'm facing down an epic battle of great peril that may very well end with my death. I'll call you back in ten minutes."
"We may 'ave done all dat, mais, we didn't track any mud." Henri stated.
"Go to your rooms. And Remy, leave de phone." Jean-Luc replied.
"But… it mine." Remy whined.
"I don' care boy. Leave de phone. Y' can have it back tomorrow."
Remy stormed up the stairs. That is so unfair! He can't tell me what to do, it's my phone. What if Roguey needed my help in that epic battle thing she said she was in? 'Sides, I'm a grown man, I'm eighteen years old, he can't keep my phone from me! That's it I'm going to go demand it back right now!
As Remy made his way back downstairs, he overheard his father on the phone . "I'm sorry girl. Remy can't come help save de world today. He's grounded. Try him again next week."
Groaning at this, Remy turned and stomped back to his room. He didn't want time added to his punishment. But as soon as it was over and he got his phone back, he was calling John and Pete to see if they wanted another roommate. That's right, he , Remy Etienne LeBeau was running away from home. Again.
The End