"Captain, I really must protest this course of action. Attempting to mediate this conflict without a clear plan is an inherently flawed and patently illogical idea, and has approximately a .02514 percent chance of success."
"Spock, relax, I know what I'm doing."
"Do you, sir? Have you ever, in your self-described 'expansive life experience,' navigated a conflict of such a delicate nature?"
The Captain grinned. Spock's left ear twitched almost imperceptibly. Sulu frowned at this sure sign of the First Officer's agitation; beside him, Chekov fidgeted anxiously.
"Nope. But how hard can it be?"
Had Spock been human, he might have sputtered, or cursed, or grabbed the Captain by the shoulders and shaken him in a vain attempt to knock sense into him. Instead, his skin flushed precisely one shade darker green, and his left ear twitched again. Twice.
Sulu cringed.
"Captain, I implore you to think of the potential ramifications of acting recklessly in this situation. These are two societies on the brink of civil war, and both possess more than sufficient means to annihilate the other. If you could please just once set aside your inborn human drive toward entropy and employ some semblance of rational thought—"
Kirk interrupted, as always. Spock's hands, which had been resting on the back of his chair, tightened infinitesimally. "Spock, I'm telling you, you just need to trust me, okay? I've got a plan, and my plan is solid."
"You have a plan?" Spock's eyebrow lifted. "Please share it."
Kirk grinned his trademark, shit-eating, devil-may-care grin. Spock's ear twitched again.
"Wing it."
As Spock bristled, any comment he was about to make was interrupted by the sound of the turbo-lift opening. Uhura entered, PADD in hand, meaning she'd finally translated the demands of the Whosits, who were locked in Cold War-esque conflict with the Whatsits—he couldn't keep straight the names these people called themselves, even if he had been able to pronounce them. Her sharp eyes took in the tensions on the bridge, and then fell on Sulu, seeking an explanation.
He may have whimpered.
"Mommy and Daddy are fighting again."